Kategori: Natur

The reality of my/our psyche is that I/we try to describe what it is with what it produces in itself. The most amazing thing about this is that the psyche also interacts with this material in the consciousness of others, and that it is driven by an energy, which mutually affects the shared relationship it has to everything around us in a cosmic sense. It is what organizes and transforms our sense of what is from the deepest layers of existence. Our minds have an independent order of their own which is embodied in an inner counterpart to which we must relate. We are constantly called to it when we are withdrawn. She’s called Saivo-niejta. When she is done and have had her say, and is satisfied with our communication with her, she changes attitude and transfers all her energy to reappear in her outer form called Radien-niejta. In this presence she is our relation to consciousness from a psychic approach and brings with her our participation in a totality that brings together many similar forms of impressions of charged information which joined together in a context of a supraordinate origin, and in a kind of interacting symbiosis with nature, embodies it in an ongoing process that gives meaning to their appearance as reality.

In some people of the north (when I say people from the north, I mean that the psyche, although for many generations it may have become a forgotten, denied or a repressed influence in the sense that it still affects us, has a specific set of experiences that are dormant within some of us), and in the world of indigenous peoples where traditions are still kept alive, the connection between the ego and the original whole is of great importance and are often culturally maintained. It is obvious to a bystander that a feeling of shame for it, or that it is something that should be repressed only to give priority to the ego alone is foreign to this frame of mind, and it is apparent that it is something that is imposed on it from the outside, from a world that has lost this connection. The ego has gone mad and tries to find this connection again. But it does not know where to go. So it tries to connect to everything, everywhere. This is where nature comes in. If we where to spend more time alone with earth we will discover her beauty and that she always listens and try to help out. When we begin to pay attention to her, the ego will no longer be alone, it will try to find its own relationship to the greater mind that arises in that encounter and approach it. This comes naturally if we grow up close to her. It is a connection we share with others to our inner companions and to the larger whole in which we are included as a growing part. This connection always shows itself to us in its own personal way. Nobody knows what it will look like because we do not know until we meet it. That’s why we always feel uncomfortable with people trying to decide for us what it is. Or in various ways trying to stop us from following its lead, regardless of their ego’s. Many of the conflicts we have and see around us have their beginnings in this.

Intellectual or psychological abuse of a child can also take the form of the child not perceiving that his or her’s ego is acknowledged in relation to its original whole because it cannot connect to an adult parent’s ego if that has been cut off from its psychic background. The child’s relationship to its own wholeness then gets distorted, and it learns not to attend to the feelings and insights that it conveys to the child. The child’s perception of himself through his developing ego is there, but it is completely dependent on the parents’ psychic environment. Through the different types of oppression of the interior embodiment that is transferred to the child. The abuse then contributes to a constant feeling of inadequacy in the child, and to the fact that it cannot rely on its own resources, or be able to use them to its own ability. Instead, the child compensates, and does everything in his power to suppress the relationship it has to the underlying whole that organizes the child’s experiences even in situations that are not connected to the relationship for the original abuse from the adult ego. What remains in the child then when it grows up, is an oversized ego that constantly goes beyond the function it must have, and with a constrained relationship to the psychic whole on which the child and later the adult person are dependent upon. This becomes an unknown end in itself for the ego, to constantly search for the lost connection it has to the repressed whole. This will later lead to intense conflicts in our personality between our inner whole and the exaggerated importance of the ego. This is most often transmitted to people around us and to external events that are compulsively created by us through the influence it has over our lives. This is the mental infection that affects us all and that we constantly, without end, pass on from generation to generation.

If I penetrate deep behind all cultural layers, behind all political, philosophical, scientific and metaphorical notions, into and behind all our stories, our impressions, ideas, images and visionary experiences, and observe them as events that are transformed and embodied within us in their purest and most untouched form, then these processes behind them, as when they are made conscious must be what is called psychology today. The underlying energy that carries them, studied in physics, is also that which is nature itself, the cosmic body of energy that interacts with us, and formulates itself within us, regardless of how we in a historic sense like to describe them. An energy that when it formulates and emerges is charged within us in a varying degrees of tension. Of course, I experience a kind of constant confusion around it, because everyone just like me tries to describe what this is with the same content that it produces. But there is also an experience of a higher order that assembles them and makes them go beyond what they are in themselves in the intermediate area that constitutes the space that exists between all that is. And then it becomes very important to understand how important our ego’s relationship is to consciousness in this context. Words as objects simply cannot do justice to the experience I have of the content received by my senses there.

This is a description of the journey the I or the ”ego” have to embark on. For me, It has also contained many encounters with a bear, the raw uninhibited instincts that I encountered in my dreams. But the primordial whole, which the ego perceive itself as belonging to, is putting the ego under tremendous pressure along the way, and its relation is constantly becoming judged by how genuine that connection is to it. Using Sami terms and descriptions, makes it possible for me to describe the experience of how different levels of saivo or psychic motives behave, such as jabme-aimo, and routta-aimo when they enter our lives. They are as real in them as in the impressions we get of them as interpreted in psychological terms and descriptions. My reality appears in its own context beneath them regardless of the typological preference I use to describe them with. In themselves they constitutes an interface, and the personal surface to several levels of a growing experience and integration of meaning to our consciousness. But the raw first experience is still going to hit us as a violent psychic turbulence. A storm of mixed emotions and moods related to both people around us, to relatives and to ancestors living in our psychic background, as to psychic sources of an older more abstract and intense form of energy. Depending on the attitude of the ego, we might even end up in routta-aimo. I ended up there on several occasions. It is the realm of anxiety, emptiness and complete hopelessness where we really have to give up on how we look at ourselves and others. An intense psychic breakdown there forced me to change. Because saivo had to be thoroughly accepted to become a living reality. To become something that we are in which actively affects us. And there we have to meet Uksakka, the woman who makes us acknowledge her moods as ours. Which makes us see, and listen to our own and others’ integrity. We also have to meet Sarakka, she who makes us feel our inner cleavage, a split between the actual and psychical, and an emotional separation between the ego and the original whole it is in. Juksakka also enters with full force and demands us through her directness and unquestiability to be absoluteley genuine and stand up for the truth the whole conveys. Maderakka also appears in the experience of our second birth. She connects us physically to earth in a psychic symbiosis. Our inner person and companion begins to develop, to grow in the physical connection it has to nature in which this relation deepens. Maderattje also appears. He who is the very source of our descent, the primordial psychic image we have of us apart from any external authority, it is the context and pattern our origins has formed that makes us identify with what characterizes it in our charged visions. Suddenly, radien-giedde and radien-niejta becomes apparent here as the interaction we have with our psychic world. Radien-niejta, our psychic consciousness appears to us both as the one who creates and produces our inner being that leads us to the whole, and as saivo-niejta, our withdrawal, and disappearance into her psychic reality, and the content we experience in the abstract vastness of the night sky, of stars, planets, of the timeless cosmos itself and its boundless body conveyed to us by radien-akka. She who gives physical form to the underlying field of energy contained in everything, and to the original abstract forms that appears from the ever-recurring processes that are radien-attje. Radien-niejta leads us to our sense of a whole. We can meet it in many places in nature, as she intervenes in our life, such as the sources of power and places that where we are drawn to. In the mountains, table-lands, by lakes and streams, in the forest, everywhere where nature itself attract us to them, often marked with unique and eye-catching features. This is where we enter Saivo, the psychic realm, and the Places that have an inherent power that our senses experience and communicate with. These power centers was once marked as sieidis. Our interaction with the experience of this totality is also referred to as meahcci or meahcci’s, it is the daily interactions we may have with them.

We find authoritarian men recurring over and over again throughout our Western history. For these men, when they have achieved everything they could possibly dream of, the only thing that remains in the end is the original abuse that their ego has experienced. It is then a matter of they in their adult roles and in leading positions can return to that connection within them which has once been broken, and which has driven them all the time. But instead of devoting themselves to re-establishing that contact in themselves, they act it out once again. In the worst case, they live out the abuse their early egos experienced in the loss of the embodied whole they were separated from because their parents suppressed it in relation to the young ego who identified with them, and who was thereby separated from its own interior background by their suppression of it. That distorted relationship to the psychic background was then transferred to the child and to the young man. In his life then, he will repeatedly act out the exaggerated role his ego has been given in relation to his inner whole. And he must constantly compensate for the initial loss in that role. Even though he might have achieved everything he has sought after. His mind will always come back to the original scar as he ends up behind the turbulence this have constantly arranged for him, and to the psychic void that awaits him there. This leaves him with a choice between reflecting on what has driven him so far, or creating a way to connect to the struggle that his ego is waging within him towards his original whole, transferred to external conditions. Such a man has no problem constantly destroying what he has built up, moving on and repeating it again. And if he is a leader on the world stage, he can even start a war. The experience we have of this, is the struggle we all carry within us att some time in our lives. But the scale of the damage this has done to us is almost impossible to fathom in its awfulness. Even during only one single generation.

In order for us to develop into humans or grow in any sense, we must seriously acknowledge both the phenomenological psychic background, which is the direct enlightenment we receive through the wordless processes that organize and structure our experiences, and at the same time also take into account our individual ability and personal history which spontaneously formulates us in substantial terms, and then also makes them realizable to us so that we can meet them and reflect on them in our lives, no matter what tools the ego uses as inspiration to be able to work with them. If not, we lose touch with our senses and become trapped in the definition of reality that the ego makes up. This in turn disconnects us from feeling involved in the greater context that influence us in our lives. This is also something we like to see in leaders around us so that we can trust the decisions they have to make in our place. Unfortunately, these qualities are seldom provided by our leaders as an example for us to trust, but we are left out in their uncertainty and confusion. If we grow up with it and it is conveyed to us by our parents, this confusion also becomes our own. We will not have access to the parts of us that in our relationship to ourselves put us together with others in a larger psychological context. We will lack a personal background that can safely convey our impressions, nor will we respect it in others. In the worst case, we feel completely disconnected from the psychological environment in which we live. Which also gives us a possible explanation for why our ego can so literally and devotedly identify with and follow, or detest people in leading positions.

I have come to a kind of understanding of how the ego works and creates hierarchies. When other parts of us, through our emotions and moods put our ego under pressure and we fail to pay attention to them because the ego’s first reaction is to try to control this experience and maintain order, since it undermine’s the ego’s special position and causes it to begin to oscillate between an omnipotent oppression of that which is conveyed by the whole, and that which it is absorbed by in the feeling of anxiety and self-pity coming from its loss of dominance, because it is through the flow of the senses that we are in contact with our original inner whole. But the ego sense itself as being this wholeness. Our ego experience doubt now and make us feel questioned ”from the outside”, which is the inner whole it has distanced itself from. This is where the mindset of hierarchies come in that differs from a traditional or indigenous attitude. They always seem keen to maintain this connection. But in our absence of a wholeness the ego begins to try to arrange its value and meaning according to the ”sense” it has of how it is perceived, and how it can control this inner contradiction that has arisen through its suppression of the original whole as it is conveyed through others. No other ego is then allowed to exist in itself, but must be subordinated to only one, its own. This in order for it to be able to protect itself against the intervention of its own experience of what this wholeness contains. The ego does not perceive that the doubt, the emotional moods it encounters come from within the sense of a whole that it is part of. That it cannot control it because it is outside of the ego’s reach. The ego exists inside it. It is bigger than the ego. The omnipotent ego therefore tries to bridge the sensed distrust from this grater whole by trying to prevent it from occurring in an environment that it can control. In this way, through an oppression of its surroundings in a mixed reality, it tries to absorb and control its doubts through others, and the feelings and moods that it perceives as threatening, to create an order for how this whole it is surrounded by should be allowed to be expressed. It tries to calibrate the other existing ego’s from what kind of independence they can be allowed to have, and position them in some kind of controlled relation to the uncertainty it experiences from its contact with the greater whole. Hierarchies are its way of systematizing what expressions they can be allowed to pass from them to be able to control what it perceives as threatening. The dominant ego must keep a distance from, and objectify the influence from our emotions and moods in order to maintain some kind of artificial relationship to the frightening original whole that exists in and around all of us, if its naive rulings and romantic dominance is to be maintained. But it cannot acknowledge the existence of other ego’s out of fear of losing its exaggerated significance and having its sensitivity exposed. The capriciousness of its defense will therefore be a psychic danger to the environment it oppresses, and from this emerges all kinds of distorted authority and disturbed followers. From small groups, and families, to large companies and countries. At its core, its about our psychic health, about the sense of feeling whole.

People around me are images of what I imagine. I dress them with the experiences I have of my impressions. Just like dreams do without me as an intermediary. With dreams, it’s the other way around. They dress my experiences in the images that they form and transfer to me. In this sense, all there is, is images from our dreams in our daily life too. They warn us in our nightmares and present themselves in a greatly increased sense of psychic energy. If we stop listening to what we see in others, and what our dreams see in us, our connection to life get lost. This is what turn our lives into a nightmare. We get stuck in endless repetitions that makes us blind to both ourselves and others. We are lost in jabme-aimo, our personal unconscious world, and are overwhelmed by the intervention of saivo-niejta, the dark aspect of radien-niejta where we are not aware of her influence over us. If we completely ignore her trying to connect to us we get passed into routta-aimo, a psychic world of anxiety, hopelessness and despair where we, not knowing what is happening to us, are judged by our connection to radien-attje. The sense of wholeness we have within us and which at the same time also is what surrounds us. Radien-niejta is she who unites us with our inner companion, who show us what we are, and who connects us to the origin of psychic life and the constant emergence of creation. In this way she also unites us with our experience of our timeless origin, and a relationship to the constant rebirths of the personality of an ancestral instructor, and of what we call soul migration. She keeps within herself the experience of something resembling a soul in everything, a psychic symbiosis like a world-soul, which leads us to the fundamental all-encompassing elements behind all there is. It sounds overwhelming but it is an everyday experience. The difference between people is how we retell our experiences, if we seriously acknowledge this or not. For the most part, we just live it out in others through our expectations of them. In our personal conflicts. But we can also see it in the personal turbulence that lies behind what shapes our world events when they are reflected back to us in the most vivid way. But seen from our sense of a wholeness, with the synchronous logic of meahcci, usually in an abominable way. In ancient times, this was what the saivo teaching was all about.

It is really a personal social problem on a global scale to stand up for, live out or befriend what individuals, or individuals as groups or individuals as a society do not want to acknowledge and therefore reject. We constantly let others suffer for what our morality and its circumscription excludes, and what we like about ourselves reflected back to us by someone else to make us feel good about who we are. Which another person then must live up to in order to gain our personal appreciation and recognition. Which, of course is impossible. No matter how hard we or they try. Once entangled in it, we will always be caught up in the spinning of the righteous. No other than our own isolated ego is then allowed to exist in there because we want to include and control everyone else’s sphere of experience as well. We judge others only out of what our narrowing ego’s ideals may accept or exclude, no matter the circumstances, and we throw away that which is not allowed of us to ”the other”. We deceive ourselves into believing that it is our I that is the sense we have of the whole that we are in and is projected onto us, but it is actually only a very small part of the experience that it conveys.

The Earth Father is the psychic relationship we have to a physical experience within us of an embodied metaphorical presence to Mother Earth, which is his relation to reality as an outer envelope with nature as his clothing. They are the ones who together transfer a psychic presence into a physical feeling. Without them, we could not have a relationship with the world. It would only appear as a continuous stream of observations without consciousness or meaning to us. No ego or I would ever exist without this relation. Existence would not be felt or experienced by anything. Nothing would ever be related to anything else. Everything would just be something in itself without any connection to anything. Our existence would lack content and only be appearance and witnessing. There could not be a sense of an expanse above this either. As when we look up to the vastness of the cosmic mother, to she who is the deep sense of the night sky and the conception of its immeasurable content. Of her spouse, the source of all the energy that forms into matter and make each living a ”thing”, a psychic image of the unimaginable cosmic background, which they transform into this life as we know it.
Reality is for the most part experienced and its energy exercises an interaction with what it is embodied by. With biology. Something that the medical world can only influence and suppress but never understand. We cannot exclusively meet and treat all experiences medically. By ”medicalism” we will never understand its content or work through its significance.

I have always been reserved towards extroverted people because it is also something that was forced on me early in my life. Except for the fact that it was also undeveloped, and my reservation lay in my fear of how I should approach it. I also found my disbelief in the fact that it was something that was exclusively recognized in my larger environment, transferred to, and sensed by me in my early teens. Which forced me to suppress the processes that I naturally had within me. That certainly contributed to my mistrust, as such a one-way relationship did not reflect my experiences at all. Suddenly I should just accept that what I was, was a measurable, testable and statistically quantifiable being, constantly explained by its interpretations and conceptually defined by the amount of its followers. What I was inside me suddenly became something that had nothing to do with my external relationship to others and to my life. For a while, I experienced it so intensely that it felt like psychic torture. Like I was in rota-aimo, tartaros, the land of the lost, or in hell as the official belief or imaging describes it. But I was not a believer. That was my actual reality. Where I was and where everyone else is if they loose touch with our internal processes on the road of development, and with the one that grows within us. My inner center and its sense of a totality didn’t count for nothing and my need to be able to formulate that and be in it just grew as my inner conversation increasingly became stronger, but without the outer anchoring it needed. The dominant extrovert approach did not reach me. It thought it could describe me from within but had no relation to what that was. I did not recognize myself in the concepts that was meant to describe its relation to my reality, and give me a way to formulate my experiences as I went along with my life. Instead it went into a full stop. Into psychic torture. My interior and extraversion did not correspond to one another. Instead it disconnected me from myself. It seemed to me that I was supposed to ignore the process going on inside me. Which was something that I saw all around me, and something I recognized in people even if they ignored it in favor of an outwardly extraverted presence. I listened to another voice, and received my guidance from both the living and the dead there, which knowledge meant something in relation to what was happening to me, and lay before me in that work. It was a living relationship I had between my consciousness and my inner person on several levels. I had another psychic depth that I was born with that I tried to transform into my life but as an extrovert’s concept of the psyche, and the experience of what this extraverted reality was, I was dumbfounded of what my own personal settings were. As I mentioned above, psychic terror, rota-aimo, or hell, better describes this experience, when one has lost the connections to what appears as that reality between myself and others. On the one hand, it is about being able to be that with others, with someone who knows how horrible it is to be in it and has been going through it by themselves and respects it without taking its underlying importance out of it. We have a connection to each other here. This ”hell” is a shared experience of the same psychic realm where we got lost. Where we get stuck. We have a relationship with others here, but without being able to carry it for anyone, or let what this is in ourselves be worn by them. We share it with each other. But we cannot be it. The raw psychic forces that affect us here are something we are all a part of. How we describe it is our own experience, our own background, and it has its own language. We cannot formulate for others what they have to find out for themselves, that at some time as we walk into life we get lost. And we cannot fight it by denying our extraverted or psychic needs and make them an external struggle that others will suffer for us. Our struggle is within us, and its attitude is our reality. If I blame or get completely absorbed by someone, it’s because I did not pay attention to that human quality in myself. I transfer my demons to others, for them to work it out in their hell instead. They become my own interior inter-subjective trash can. We even call it love when someone accepts being absorbed by us. But they are also carriers of our whole set of extraverted needs or of its opposite, the interior psychic qualities that we pass on to others to fulfill for us so that we can escape the full weight of our metaphorical reality. The sum of my experiences leads to a kind of duality. On the one hand, there is no externally established form that can in a consistent way explain what it is I experience. It feels more practical, close to nature and even ceremonial and has little or nothing at all to do with what psychology in a medical sense use as a substitute practice here. That’s hell. Why take psychopharmaceuticals in hell if you are already there. Hell do not disappear. Hell is still hell, a psychic realm and we are still soaked in it. We only get anesthetized, which is why many self-medicate with alcohol. On the other hand, I know exactly what the experience or process is since it is its own full explanation, even if the words I am trying to use does not agree with what is widely acknowledged. But I have found that, what C G Jung has accomplished and implemented in his own words and for his own part, is the closest I can come with my experiences and what is called psychology today. It still leaves my experiences to me. For me to meet and work with as my own reality, and with my own words. Not pills, or terms and concepts that lack meaning that are shoved down my throat that would only further clog my senses. I’m not a psychologist, I am just a person with senses who needs the metaphorical background that shape and color my existence. It’s about meaning for me, not just knowledge as an end in itself. A straightforward example; we all know about romantic love and our sexuality as its physical or ”material” side. Romantic love is what gives meaning to our sexuality from within. Rota aimo, or hell, is the metaphorical meaning of the realm of nothingness, hopelessness and despair. The terrible mental suffering that exists behind our extraverted attitude as its own reality when we loose the connection to our inner being’s experience of itself through us.

We can expose ourselves to, endure, and go through almost anything in our quest to strive for a recognition of what we are, if we are not given the opportunity to learn how we can go about to experience it in its original sense. Most often we will move it out of its imaginal context within us, and transform it to an external achievement where we are trying to achieve the impossible. Which is something we need to do when we grow up and got to establish a point of reference in ourselves. But as we get older it is not about a quest for the kind of satisfaction that is more about trying to correspond to what something’s or someone elses external vision is, than our own relationship to how we experience it in ourselves. Our heroism, or psychic instinct becomes obscured without its own reality and a connection to its own true source. The individual quest gets mixed up with our external social presence, and our need for reflection, mental integrity, insight and self-esteem disappears in a never-ending social repetitive circle. We commonly train ourselves in relation to an external parent or role model, who may appear to us as the procedural structure for what we are trying to achieve. In this way, both our quest for social recognition, and our individual affirmation, gets united in the psychic energy for which our hero image becomes a vessel. In it arises a separation of the previously undissolved compound of these primordial psychic forms. Its original underlying whole and its mediator are perceived in the form of him as a guiding principle. In a Sami context, they are radien-attje, radien-giedde and the authority we sense in the powers the invisible world has over us. Which is first experienced as a paternal principle, an instinctive and instructive gut feeling of a psychic energy that involves us in the transformation of what lies behind everything that exists. They become united in a single coherent endeavor whose energy is experienced by us in how we look at, and try to take part in the powers our heroes generates. In Christianity we find this in the concept of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Where the paternal part never got properly separated from the others and became distorted. But to do so is to take the last step out of a kind of psychic misconfiguration. We seek to become our true instinct, convey it and formulate it in the image of our achievements, in the energy that the hero provides us with and which, then direct us to the source. To our instinctive recognition of what heroism means for us in relation to our nature/animal world, to other people, and to the meaning of how it makes us parts of its underlying cosmic energy and wholeness. It is the energy in the hero figure who in our collective pursuit of this wholeness also contains all of them.

We live in a world engrossed in an economy governed by our companies and banks in their pursuit of a kind of consciousness whose spontaneous instinct could generate commercial benefit. But we have forgotten that the source of our consciousness is created from our personal interaction to another original sense of whole connecting us to it from within our experience of it. Something we cannot own or control. It has to be developed, which becomes clear in that it first appears in relation to an instinct in communication with a context which is beyond the personal in an existential sense. This is the ”asset” we are really looking for. But it is surrounded by difficulties that we have to go through as individuals first. Alone and for ourselves. Apart from the influence of anyone or anything external in a worldly sense. Without this, we will lack moral integrity and be exposed to psychological issues. I also imagine that the decrease in innovative abilities after a certain age is due to the fact that personal psychic growth has stopped or stagnated. We have blocked ourselves from our world of psychologically meaningful instincts by not attending to them. So instead we try to squeeze water out of stone. We become superficial and prone to defence instead of uniting our growth and development with where the interconnectedness of our gut instincts and vision occurs.

The physicist John Wheeler said: ”Reality consists of information created by observation, and this observation must be made by something conscious.” Who, or what, this observer is, and what it was that left the information to his consciousness is not so obvious. But it informs us that nothing exists without being observed. Reality creates itself from energy as it transforms information into embodied matter. He referred to this exclusively in a material sense. As a scientist, he was the one who came up with the concept of black holes, and he is trying to verify himself as the observer of the information that his consciousness received. But if we trace this information back to the source where it was first generated, it becomes a personal instinct, perceived by a consciousness that has formulated its personal relationship to something else, a kind of second center that grows by itself from the enveloping whole of which all life is a part. A kind of benign energy that flows through everything and that maintains the physical world in a constant creation act, and who transforms its psychic energy into tangible reality in all kinds relationships to life that is beeing formulated by any observer of it. Wheeler could also have formulated that himself. But the source of the information that came to be formulated within him was probably not part of his consciousness. At least it was never mentioned as part of his discovery. What I am trying to say is that we have a relationship with a second center that assists our consciousness with information that generates what we perceive as existence. In sami that source is called radien-attje. It was not a divinity, but the living source of the background information that grows in all life.

We are all both individually and together part of an overall psychic whole that we interpret and try to describe by cultural means. This common background in which we also constitute the content together with the sources of origin that forms our individual experiences of it, and which together with our external senses make out how we imagine it and, when we meet others, creates a kind of innocent incongruence that is usually due to personal differences seen against this common background. It is usually not due to the raw psychic experience and the influence this extensive psychic whole has in its individual parts on us. For how we interpret them is personal. The difference lies rather in how we both individually and together with others, choose to describe them through how we experience its parts. The psyche is not only the parts of something we experience, it is also something we are in. We have created societies, but that is not what makes us civilized. Problems arise when we think that we are either the whole of this background, or identify with some of its parts that exert their influence on us because we then exclude others’ relationship to the individual influence it has on them, we then try to replace their description with our own of how the parts of that reality are experienced in the overall psychic context. We can easily put it this way; the pain and friction we experience in the struggle within us becomes the struggle we wage through others. We are waging a war against the psychic whole we are all in with the parts that make it up and we are all involved in and affected by.

Some time ago I had a dream where I was standing deep below the ground. Above me, trains passed back and forth in several floors from the ground and down. I was at the very bottom, under everything on an empty, newly built still unused station. I remembered it this morning, and understood that it had told me that I would go far down, all the way to the very bottom. Far below the public transport that our culture has provided us with for a very long time. And that I will find something there that seems completely new to me, and that it lay there completely unused because it has been hidden under so many layers of cultural currents within my mind.
Together with the activity that spontaneously appears within me with its own guides against a background that is no longer acceptable to our society, this forms a kind of vision that makes my life, and the time-bound currents I find myself in, more comprehensible to me. Back then, I was not able to forsee what was going to be formulated by itself from my within. I had to get through it first and live through these experiences that then would be handed over to me. The difficult thing for me is that it appears together with other things in contexts that are contemporary, where it is also translated in the same sense as it is experienced. Along with this, it also filters through my senses with a different way of looking at things than I am used to, and with a purpose that has been lost to us and that was probably used for this reason a very long time ago. More and more often it feels like that is something my psyche is trying to recover.

Yesterday I came across this clip on Navaho traditional teachings. A link is provided below, and this is my impression of it.

We no longer fill Saivo with ancestors and descendants who provide us with the knowledge like that of the Navajo native americans do with their traditional teachings. People who can tell us about the psychic experience of ”Changing woman” and her son, the monster killer who is the one she gave birth to to help us realize our relationship to what we feel and experience. Which makes it possible to formulate it as its own inner reality. The one who is going to make it possible for us to visualize what happens between us and what it means to us. What that content will look like to us. He is not an outside person, and without him the knowledge that arises in people as men who understand women, and as women who understand men, we will remain unknown to ourselves. The monster killer is in fact the one who kills our identification with what we feel and experience, that which equates it with us in a way that makes us unable to differentiate between us and them. The forces that affect us before his birth will be founded on the relationship we have with our primordial inner psychic parents. There is no ”psychic” space there. No space of our own between what we experience and others. ”Changing woman” has not yet appeared to us. That she becomes pregnant with him by the sun, the light, the insight, with consciousness, only makes the story even more inspiring. I think the story of changing woman is wonderful.

Watch the Navaho Changing woman clip here »

There is a place that surrounds us, that is centered everywhere. In sami it’s called Saivo. It is like a living extension to our mind beyond our ego’s. Most often we encounter it in nature, at special places that are sources of power. Places called a seite in Sami, or a hiisi in Finnish. We find them in the mountains or in the forest, or at a lake where we connect to the energies that affects us seemingly from all around us. They also mirror us from within and creates a kind of symbiosis between Nature and psyche. They are like an exterior stood for an entrance, a place where a contact to Saivo establishes itself. At these places we obtain another sense of ourselves, and a relation to a more complete body, Radien giedde, with which we can experience the world from within as a psychic phenomenon, and also encounter those who came before us with whom we must find a relationship in order to be able to meet the task we have been faced with. Something Saivo will confronts us with. Traditionally, what we meet is the Saivo-people, and they will give us our instructions. But our connection to their teachings have mostly been lost. Too few of us make the transition from being descendant’s to becoming ancestors. Which creates an inner confusion and psychic discomfort that makes us unable to see any difference between ourselves and others. Instead, it creates these grotesque giant like egos, or stallo’s. Big suddenly appearing movements, global companies and even countries that constantly see other individual ego’s unique relationships to Saivo as a threat that must be oppressed by them and their followers. To some extent, those who gives us guidance have almost disappeared and ended up in the background of an uninitiated incoherent noise, and a maze of incomprehension. Our ego’s functional relation to the energy of our helpers have to be recovered and understood in Jabme-aimo, a part of Saivo. They often behave as the earlier unresolved connections of relatives and people around us that we have to face again by ourselves in order for us to reconnect our’s and theirs lost connections to saivo, for both our own sake and the sake of others. That is one of our tasks. Another part of Saivo is Ruohtta-aimo. The nothingness, or non-existence. Ruohtta-aimo is the horrible torments that arise with oblivion, in our denial, or in the attitude we have towards Saivo both in ourselves and in our disrespect of other’s individual connection to it. In Ruohtta-aimo we face the anxious existence and mental infection we spread around us by the influence it has over us. In our denied sensuous involvement with living things, where the reciprocity of all energy has been blocked. We experience no relationship with our existence without this connection. So we have to mend that experience to people we know of there. Thats another task. If not, we become strangers to ourselves. Dumbed down, blocked out, and ignored. Dominated by objectification and stuck in the underworld. Today we most likely want to call Saivo’s living reality psyche. That we have trauma’s, neuroses and behavioral dissonances with unresolved conflicts within us that affect us from the unconscious. Dry and academically formulated but permissively open to individual experiences if given the opportunity. Behind them are motions that are unknown to us, that distort our imagination and disrupts our lives, and our relationships. As disgusting as it sounds, it is still good, because it’s just another way to describe experiences we have of the same kind, and it leads us to the task that seeks us.

In the Sami world of psychic experiences, there is a living thought of the doorwoman, Uksakka. She was connected to the earth, Mother Earth, and was responsible for the integrity of all who entered and left her world. The hut exemplified the balance she monitored, and the attention it is about. Whether we have access to it or not. She decided this by her will being noticed by the one who entered it. In this way, she was the one who guarded the threshold between the outer world, as it exists independent of us, and the inner metaphorical one, which creates our symbiosis with the outer one so that the transitions took place between them with respect. Uksakka also resembles the ancient Egyptian perception of this represented by Maat. She too, controlled everything that traveled over her doorstep. It was about balance, truth and the order of things. She was the platform on which everything rested and the balance between what we have within us and the Nature we are a part of. That respect was weighed by her against a feather. No access was given to anyone who, without her consent, tried to take his weight with him from our physical existence and transfer it without her permission. She demanded, just like Uksakka, that our symbiosis between them be obeyed without them mixing too lightly with each other. Because without paying attention to them, to their order and justice, chaos ensues, and we get stuck in the underworld. Without her, people are going crazy there. Every time we enter someone’s existence, whether it’s an animal or another person. His or her home. His or her essence. We cross a threshold. And this is what we need to pay attention to. Our world depends on it.

Originally posted August 25th but its meaning was actualized for me today again.

I have never really found myself in any way related to Buddhism in general. Nor to Tibetan Buddhism with its llamas. A very long time ago, I read Alexandra David-Néel, her stories and experiences during her travels in Tibet. I loved her adventures. But it never got me into Buddhism. It was too abstract, I had no experience I could dress with its teachings. I did not understand it. Because there was something else that was still dormant in me. I have long since forgotten her stories and looked with some skepticism at people who for various reasons became Buddhists because my experiences were never so abstract. But so today, out of nowhere, it dawned on me. I do not know for what reason. But suddenly I realized that my I-ness, ego, or bodily center in a world of matter, is what returns to our subjective person, to the psychic source of our being, who is the one who constantly returns to this world. It is that personality that is reborn. Our ego is created as its relation to the temporal and we develop our egos as parts of that in time. To establish this connection. It is truly a far-reaching idea that there are people who throughout their lives practice an approaching to our inner timeless personality in order to constantly develop it in its relationship to each return. Perhaps with the intention that it matures to such an extent, and becomes so aware of itself in us, that it experiences its own conscious presence in every human being regardless of time itself. Like it is moving in and out of time without loosing its knowledge about who it is in between every specific location it enters in time. This must really be the crown of the work of human achievement. And humanity at its best. To develop the recurring aspect of human consciousness that exists independently in every human being. Now I think I know something about the inner workings of Buddhism that make it a lot more accessible to me. Something that is also present in all indigenous peoples experiences of all living things. It is only expressed in other ways. This vision was about the essence of man. Of what we do or do not do with it. And how we relate to it. It handed me a different way of looking at the world. I think that the traditional Sami notion of Radien-attje and Radien-giedde is the equivalent of this kind of buddhist experience.

If I had to choose one aspect of Jung, one thing that made his view of the human mind, the whole person, and my inner self more accessible to me, it is this. I think this is what he meant by individuation.

The sami experience of our connection to the inner being, Radien-giedde, seems to be somewhat similar to the Kundalini experience of perusha on the threshold of anahata to visuhdda. Jung discribed it like this; ”In anahata you behold the purusa, a small figure that is the divine self, namely, that which is not identical with mere causality, mere nature, a mere release of energy that runs down blindly with no purpose.” The concept of this energy resembles Henki in northern sweden, something that becomes more differentiated the more intensely we become exposed to it. A force of nature that unfolds as from within through this connection. It’s a feeling of a center in my chest. Of an inner subtle counterpart in a symbiotic relationship with nature. But with nature as Mother Nature rather than nature as something objective and beyond me. It is a physical relationship between me and my nature as an experience of a comprehensive whole. Since we are deeply connected to Nature in a symbiotic psychic relation, it creates a metaphorical property. Out of which perusha/Radien-giedde is born. He is also what connect us to the symbiotic experience of imagination that gives a person the ability to enter into, and understand the multitude of connections that exist throughout the animal kingdom and in the sense of a psychic field with cosmic proportions. It’s like a world held in a vibrant imaginative field of energy. In the experience of the Inuit, I think this is equivalent to Silap Inua. To the sami it is Radien-attje. The spirit that all things are made​​ off. He lives in everything and keeps everything separate and yet together. He is intelligence, the order of things, the atmosphere, the world itself. Or undertood as the casing around the earth. It is as though the earth is inside Sila/Radien-attje. In Anahata/Visudda, it snakes through what we experience in a symbiotic sense of the world only a metaphorical language can describe. Or as Jung put it; ”the insurmountable power of reality no longer maintains this earth’s data, it is psychic data that does that”. It is a metaphorical psychic field that holds everything that exists together in a dynamic, living field of life.

Whether we are men or women, we often have a relationship with ourselves in a leftover state. And the one we have abandoned has his own desires, desires that often overflow the adult person’s external relationship to the world. The adult’s part of us carries our relationships to an absolute external world, and the person within us have our relation to a world of imagination, of energy. A world of the mind. And a metaphorical symbiosis with everything around us. To the experiences we make by imagination. Through our bodies we turn them into our physical reality. But in our present state, where that person inside of us is left to fend for him/herself, we do not listen to how it experience this. Instead, we deny ourselves the ability to be influenced by how it appears both from within and from behind our surroundings because we objectify it. We distort our perceptual reciprocity with it. We deny ourselves the ability to be engaged by it, in its own relation to Nature, to animals and humans in the forms of our imagination. It is our metaphorical notions that enable our relationships with others, and with nature, by having a kind of psychic symbiosis with the content of them. Instead, we take all the naive and undeveloped desires we have suppressed, a sense of having been abandoned as if it were only ours to bear, and not a relation to an abandoned raw psychic reality. Which we then transfer directly to our surroundings without taking into account their real significance for us in our relationship to a mutually shared world of perception that is part of us all. We then flood each other with our imaginations. And that leaves the world in such a horrible state. This does not mean that we have a responsibility for the whole world. It is a responsibility to pay attention to our imagination, the metaphorical relationship we have with each other. But no one can carry it for us, and we cannot carry it for anyone else. The world is a good example of what happens both when we do, and when we stop doing it.

Everyone talks to themselves. Whether we process knowledge we have acquired, or treat what occurs spontaneously from sources within us. What we often do not think about is that we also do it through others. We use others both to talk to what affects us spontaneously, and for the knowledge we have obtained and transfer back to others or to society, regardless of whether it has something to add to the other person’s interaction with himself and his sources or not. We transmit ourselves, often not even noticing that we are doing it. In that way, we lose communication with ourselves and we become dependent on the objects of our interaction with our surroundings. We forget our own conversation and try to replace others with our own. We do not listen to the common psychic sources we have and how our forces there affect us independently of our desires or cultural needs. We just keep on trying to control our communication to our self by flooding others. People who do not acknowledge this always tend to get annoyed and perceive others as self-absorbed, not that they themselves in the same way ignore their own inner conversation by denying it in others. Anyway, the one I have with myself gives me the peace I need to be able to have a relationship with my nature and with others who are aware of it. The rest is just noise.

I relate to my surroundings with smell, taste, touch, sight and hearing. Everything else becomes metaphorical. Even though we know that the metaphorical is also energy, we confuse everything in our interaction with it. We think that we are not allowed to have a metaphorical mind which is not conceptualized by thinking. But it is our denial of that which make us feel bad about ourselves in relation to it. Because what we deny in us, we also deny in what exists as a reality in everything around us.

He who has never been captivated by his inner psychic being knows nothing about life. Because he or she does not have a relationship to his or her own reality. And he who drowns in it, and disappears will never grow. He will lose his presence, and the relationship it needs to its external form, the connection beingness have in the sense of its totality.

In some of the encounters we make with others in our lives, we get to experience the full power of our combined inner energy. Henki if you are Finnish or from northern Sweden. ”Libido” if you are psychologically oriented. We will see it in something or someone else. It is through that person we then try to approach the raw power we experience in ourselves. Many people think this is love, it is not. It is the real encounter we have with ourselves without reservation, but seen through someone or something else. We have dressed the other person with our inner form and energy, and then, unknowingly we think that we can make them go beyond themselves, because we cannot allow them to restrict how we see that other within ourselves. It is when we do not understand this that we become narcissistic. So we have to find a new way of relating to both, to what is in us and what is in others. Because what we see and reflect in ourselves has very little, or nothing to do with that external person, and that person can never be the experience we have of this, no matter how much they try to fulfill the form that begins to take shape within us. No one can carry our inner psychic person and the energy it conveys to us. But later, when we have endured it long enough, we may discover its existence, and that it is also something we experience in everything around us. It becomes a reality when nature itself is embodied as a psychic experience that is neither within nor outside of us. It is both.

If you grew up in a city, you are likely to relate to yourself through others and through comparative values. Or by things. But if you grew up in the country, it is more likely that you relate to others through a common connection to nature. In this context, the northern word luonto is more than just nature. It is a psychic experience. The reality of the intangible substance behind everything that is. That which surrounds us, and that which connects us with each other and all life. Yet it is both a personal subjective experience and a shared objective influence. It is the vessel of being, a property of space as a psychic quantity.

There are two forces in us that work together and that most often appear in opposition because they are perceived as separate. On top of that, we often reject one of them. Regardless of how we choose sides, they both seem to us as two different realities. One as raw experience, the other in connection to how we formulate it in relation to our lives. When one or the other side is oppressed, we end up in an opposite relationship we can only solve by rejecting what is not compatible with the attitude of our choices. Our reality becomes insufficient for us. We blame it on our opposite. It is in this soil that all sorts of personal incongruents, ideology or movements occur. We refuse or are unable to take into account how the other or opposite side formulates or experiences reality in relation to the other within us. For example; If I deny something essential in my actual external reality, I become completely dependent on my psychic experiences, on my nature and the inherent creativity that is in it, and my objective psychic reality becomes separated from my relationship to my external world. I will replace it with what spontaneously emerges from within. Which I will use to restrain my external reality in order to be able to maintain my inner balance. I must expel one part of the equation of that duality which has created tension within me if I do not choose to acknowledge them both as acting forces in me. Either I will restrict my ability to formulate my relation to my external reality by lack of knowledge, or I will restrain the relationship I have to my own psychic nature by lack of experience, and my ability to relate to the same forces and their presence in others. We run the risk of making a fool of ourselves. What I deny in myself I will deny in others. The dissonance I experience in others is something that occurs within me. So I will have a compulsive need to prevent others from expressing themselves independently in relation to any of my contradicting realities. One of them is in constant opposition to the other so the one I reject must be repressed in others. Which means that we experience it as oppression from any person we do not agree with, as he becomes the opposite side of that we surpresses in ourselves. The prevailing collective personality today is quite the like this. Because it distorts our psychic experiences, which makes us overly dependent on our sense of physical reality when formulating our relationship to what spontaneously arises within us. It will constantly replace what emerges from our psyche with the external or physical world. The sad side of this is that this is something we learn in our childhood. Few of us have the wisdom of older people around us who teach us to see the greater whole we have in ourselves. The knowledge that the current generation acquires is never sufficient. We need the combined experience from several generations to be able to meet ourselves and others in relation to life. This is what we like to refer to in the sense of mental or spiritual maturity in people, something which our current societies has so little of. We relate to the world with our body, through our eyes, by touch, taste and by listening to it. Through our psyche we interpret it. Somehow this world describes itself through us, and guide us to how we interpret it. It’s a wonderful mystery to me. And that requires a lifespan much longer than our current living generations can manage.

Everyone takes for granted that there is an external, absolutely tangible reality. But it is not as obvious to us that we in addition to this are also inside an equally absolute reality whose connections we discover in the relationships we see between everything as something we relate to in ourselves, which allows us to simultaneously discover and experience that we are profoundly related to the people and events we observe outside of us as from within, and that this appears in the space between us and others, and in the relationship we have to the Nature that makes us a part of it. Most importantly, if we deny this in ourselves, we also deny it as something that occurs in others. We make them what we do not see, or reject in ourselves. To something we do not recognise as having any influence on us. We turn it into our invisible enemy. To Ruohtta, a human plague. We discover it continuously within ourselves, not only in our matriarchal relationship to the nature that surrounds us, but also individually, in our contempt for the larger dualistic reality that recognizes them both. The two are treated solely on the basis of their relationship of being opposites, not on the basis of their common ground in consisting of an energy that is experienced both in a physical and psychological sense, and in a larger coherent total reality.

There is a field of energy, of the unformulated and formless that has not yet become thought. Which is still just raw energy. Or shapes that lives in everything and keeps everything separate and yet together. Of which everything is made. It is the background of all things. Of the atmosphere, the world itself. Like the casing around the the earth. We all have it in us. Some just call it to reflect on something, to think and are drowned in it. But what we do is that we listens to its sudden bursts of energy and the information inherent in it as it transforms into something tangible within us. I think this is what we call spontaneity. When we are receptive to it. The creativity that teach us what we are. It also happens everywhere in Nature. The entire visible order of the world is determined by the interference of the wave patterns of this energy. The molecular wave forms themselves seem to be determined by this energy to decide how molecules should interact and create comprehensible forms out of raw energy. I imagine this as space-time, as the encounter consciousness have with the self-organizing forms of psychic energy that we are affected by. The place where the present becomes timeless, and time moves both forward and backwards. In that sense, we all seem to be both a part of and a mediator of the insight this field of energy transforms into psychic reality, as we try to formulate our truth independent of to rigid subjective motives and listens objectively to what is transferred to us. We are at the receiving end of, or objects of all of that within us that are the original influences that define what kind of experience we have of ourselves and other beings made of the same psychic substance, or transformable energy in this world. Maybe the higgs boson represents. This thinking also leads me to recognise that the Grand Unified Theory must include the imaginative mind and its experience of psychic energy as a force that coalesce with nature and is directly observed within us and merge everything into a single state of existence. This unifying is made of experiencing the products of our imagination as something that we are both in, in the sense that it surrounds us everywhere, and something that we are because we embody it. The grand theory’s interaction of cosmos and the psychic interaction of the individual mind then unifies into a single electronuclear interaction. Everything we experience is an energy wave, and everything we formulate transforms into something tangible.

What I see in physics today is also our inner cosmos seen through an outer infinity. The two seem to be one for me. An example is how we imagine that the background of our world consists of energy, our psychic energy, what we also experience as a life energy sometimes generalized as libido. We imagine that it is a field of forms consisting of raw energy which in itself is information or mental events that affect us with material properties. We experience them as pure energy or waves that appear within us with information that is transformed and visualized, then transferred by minds into tangible forms and matter. It means to me that a simultaneity arises in physics where parts of this psychic field appears both in a timeless event horizon and anywhere in the external tangible reality at the same time. It does not matter where our present is. This event horizon appears within us as Nature herself, as a creative imaginative field of raw energy that appears in us in a kind of simultaneous psychic reality, also imagined as being outside of time, as its interior. That which we carry within us of the cosmos itself. With all the forms of information there, which is transformed by everything that is in that space wherever it appears in time. That is why so many intuitive forms of experience are so similar. What we experience has the same original energy and form. But we describe it differently depending on where in time we are. Where we happened to be localized in that space itself. We shape it through our time to be able to make its impact on us understandable. Although it is then valued differently depending on how it is applied. This is also how introverted intuition works. We are all both a part of the energy behind what we are, and we perceive it as the other within us that shapes how we perceive ourselves and others. But when we look into cosmos and visualize its energy within us, we are all there as one.

Stalo is a one-eyed and cruel giant who wears black iron clothes that make him impervious to objectively encountering emotional nuances in a human psyche. He becomes an evil man-eater. However, since he is unintelligent and gullible he is outwitted by cunning Sami, often by the children he intends to eat. To me they are the perception we have of being in an experienced psychic and emotional totality with all things. The Stalo is a kind of deformed personality, a superego and our collective impression of how people are shaped by the internal social order of their society. Sluggish, irritable and instinctive. Stalo’s emotional vulnerability puts him in a constant state of defence that makes him stupid and aggressive. I can see him everywhere in social media, everywhere in public life and in all political debates where the position of the other is constantly ignored or diminished. He is the rejected objective life of our mind that makes us deny it in others. Those shared mental experiences and their transformation back and forth between mind and matter, from non-material psychic occurrences to tangible form. When ignored in ourselves, we become excitable and instinctive, and we behave like cattle. Since we have no psychic life of our own we tend to defend any beliefs recognized by the collective we try to unite with, and to be accepted by, as we compulsively try to conform to its split up and incongruous contexts of moral values. We are not even affected by the consequences it may have on us, or other people when we have such a unproportional approach to life. We completely lose touch with the forces that affect us and others from within ourselves, and we cannot accept other people as something that is not what we are, as something else in relation to the same psychic source, but still independent and in itself separate from us. We have become cut off from experiencing earth, and life itself.

We’re all like Alice, we fall into the rabbit hole. Where ”logic and proportions have fallen sloppy dead. And the white knight is talking backwards.” I was also brought into the presence of the other. To the primordial center of the earth that is everywhere. An intermediate place where others also exist with that embodied, which unconditionally and without interference, spontaneously shows us what we need to know. Its obvious to me in social surroundings if it is there or not. Most are just drown and their minds are split up in a thousand pieces. They cling to them as life jackets and try to hold on to whatever piece they can attach to some other. ”One pill makes you larger, And one pill makes you small, And the ones that mother gives you, Don’t do anything at all”. But it will not work. Thats not the reality of the mind. Go ask Alice.

Yesterday we saw the movie Tomb Raider. About in the middle of the movie, it struck me that I was watching something else. I saw the film in a different way while watching it. In a kind of double vision. An overall structural layer appeared with its own internal logic keeping its parts together. A young girl, Lara Croft or a woman’s dream self has grown up and does not want to take on the role that tells her how she should act according to what is expected of her, out of grief over her ”dead” or missing father. She finds out that he had another side to him that she did not know of which was related to the supernatural / psychic / mythical. A side of him that in her makes her go after it as that makes her think that he might still be alive. Which he apparently is within her. This in turn leads her to a deserted island in the middle of a wild ocean, to what she does not know of him in her. She manage to get to this island where she also meet the other side of her father, the one who was constantly turned away from her and made her emotionally and psychologically absent. A ruthless and cold-hearted man in the form of a villain who stops at nothing to reach his goals. She really finds her father again, and at the same time descend into the underworld together with both him and his unknown ”villain”. That is, the one who makes her do this descent into the unknown in the first place. Together they find the buried Queen of death down there. But she become forced to let go of her father and leave him behind to be able to leave this underworld. She also found out the real reason to why the queen has allowed herself to be buried alive. The queen suffered from a fatal psychic infection that made her voluntarily choose to get buried to save the world from her, from the disease she carried within her. That a human touch means loss and abandonment. Emotional death and burial. The Queen of death infected others by her touch. By her need of human warmth and bodily contact. Lara gets out of the underworld, and left its old structure as it fell apart and got destroyed by her infected father. She came back from the other side and agreed to take on her responsibilities to be able to continue the research of the unknown other side of the family. I imagine the touching and infection by closeness the Queen of death had, can be thought of as the contemporary negligence we all inherit from our parents, their ignorance of our common inner source, which then become heavily guarded by our buried Queen and grieving other within. Up until now she have never had any reason to confront the influence it had over her, but now she had to find the Queen of death inside of her to be able to realise what power she has over her. She does that in leftover clues, disorderly and randomly scattered around in her. She followed a treasure map that lead her to the island on the other side, to what she has within her, to her own personal experiences of her nature and the sense of a wholeness that it is part of. This wholeness is her treasure. I have no idea how this came about, why I got this ”image” of the movie. But I do now that it was not meant for me. It was most surely meant for someone I know.
Perhaps one can see these elements in the film as creative symbolism, as something that has historically also been called visions or visionary states. In any case, it does make this story more comprehensible to me, and it also gives a personal touch to the occurrence of holy men and shamans. Also, by making this summary it almost turn it into a fairy tale. Which makes me see storytelling and fairy tales, their generic summary of a story, as the inner logic of the overarching connections we process in parts of human relationships and the significance they have for our psychic organization.

Morning peace.

I hate the surrounding societal influence that created my father’s behavior in the man who was then constantly preoccupied with how these influences shaped the expectations I was forced to carry for him in order for him to feel accepted by the society that was forced on him. Which then made me lose what was his reality inside of him when I was growing up. I hate to see this in other men and women around me. Seeing my own loss, my own pain resurface in others, which constantly exposes me to it again. There is nothing in my own being or in the nature I belong to that has anything to do with it. Go away, be gone, just be somewhere else. I dont like what you have left behind in me, in all of us, what we had to deal with in ourselves. A game of attitudes that turns us into cattle. My father, like many other fathers, had abandoned his source. So there was no space between us where I was shown to it, or to the intermediate space where all the transitions take place. He had abandoned it and stopped listening as he was trying to justify it in himself through others and me. Which only made us feel redundant. Sadly he died without finding it so we could be close to it together.

What I experience are not theoretical concepts or terms in an academic discussion. If I say psyche, I mean experiences as such, transformed into reality. Their origin, and behavior is something beyond me with an intention that makes my experiences relative to me. The I, and what the nature of my person within me mediates to me, are my recipients of experiences that have their own independent background in a vast psychic space of timeless reflections. If I relate to something in others, it is to that person, in that kind of environment. What I am trying to say is, I share experiences from this with others, besides how we define them in a specific external form, or context. Although it is always present to us externally in a historical sense, and watered down in a cultural community of established and widespread cherished values, of how we imagine our relationship to our common psychic life. So what our scientific approach has in common with this is, that it interacts with the material reality in the same way that our belief system does with our psyche. It is basically no distinction between them because the source of both is the same. We cannot escape the fact that their origin has a common source that we try to describe by way of how it interacts with our imagination when we apply it to our existence. My relationship to this source that my inner person emerged from, is therefore not determined by what words we use for it, but how I can relate to myself in a wordless manner if I pay attention and listens. Also, this relation is something that was already there before I was. It is the force of our nature’s spontaneity that we receive, which is conveyed to me by my inner person for whom I am an object. I think it is this relationship that we have to the other within us, that we refer to when we say that we reflect on something. We reflect on what it negotiate to us. How we then imagine something in this world is a result of this relationship. It is the source of all our thinking and feeling, our intuitive processing and its sensations.

It’s like a state between two attentions called ruohtta. This is where we end up when we have lost the relationship to our psychic or traditional world, or been called back to it. It is neither good nor evil since it is both, and it is most often perceived as a personification of a desolate emptiness without content. But it is not empty, and without patience we can never perceive it. And without perseverance we can never understand it. It calls for a different kind of courage. In a literally sense we experience it as an endless nothingness, and fear of the dark. For what is in the other. Something we find by listening to what our nature encounters in there. It is a flow and a passage that goes in two opposite directions that wears and pulls us until we break. But that’s when we start listening. It is our relationship to our instincts, the impulsivity that constantly claim our immediate attention that make us go crazy because at the same time, we are moving in its opposite direction. To the other, psychic personality. Where our primordial senses and the content of that world is still a force of influence, making its presence felt everywhere. No matter what a collectives perverted and rigid sense of this possesses. After all, it is what we have to face personally, on our own. To explain it away, or with scorn and prejudice be condescending, comes from our lack of courage to experience this reality. It is about our endurence, our fears, and of being alone in ourselves, and with what we contain that only our relationship to this content can convey both in ourselves, in others, and in the living environment that surrounds us. We are both enclosed in it and embraced by it. It is about character, about being attentive, and respecting both the physical and mental relationship we have to it.

I think it’s not just where my reflection comes from that I try to understand. But also the part of me that is that other, that which I embody who is connected to earth and physically relates me to the sky as an embrace from the perspective of what we contains. Where its circumference becomes a vessel who involves me in its presence, to become one with Nature. I cannot explain it in any other way. But he is also what connects me to everyone in my background, to how they related to him and what kind of relationship to the whole that we have within us, and what they have been exposed to that is transferred to me. How that acts in me. It always works both ways. So part of what I have to suffer and go through, is transpersonal and independent of time and related to experiences by those who came before me. We are also living our ancestors life in relation to our psychic architecture, and by listening to their voices they also help me find my way back to where it first was lost. Some psychic sufferings cannot be solemnly explained by a single individual like myself. Because we emulate our relation to how that structure was made in the first place, a long, long time ago. It is what is behind our experiences, and make them in a certain way. So some of our experiences are not our own, but transferred by our ancestors through time, and is the result of how they have related to that structure. What some of our sufferings then is made of is due to how they interacted with it in the past. Or what made them stop doing it. Their past is what I interact with right now. What I am trying to say is that if we extend our understanding beyond ourselves and our ancestors, then we are making experiences that are similar because they are relationships we share to the same structural source of psychic life, not the experiences in themselves, but how we are involved in our experiences as a whole, in a sense of affinity.

It is as if I have to purge myself from public opinion. From the great Swede attitude that was put in me to replace my inherited and original psychological architecture. To be colonized and invaded by the emptiness and moral conflicts of a psychic belonging that prior to this did not existed in me. It is like an endless stream of broadcasted knowledge and judgements that constantly overlaps itself without any real connection to me. I usually find my way back to this order of awareness again when I spend time in nature, in the mountains, or just outside the psychological infection of the general noise. My senses become clear again and I can see myself in the psychic totality that we are in, of which I am made. Of that something that I am part of. It is the space that is in everything and that encircles everything. It is from that I originate. I belong there, in that manifest other, where I am together with the timeless presence of my primeval double. All who endure it long enough will discover that the emptiness we first experienced there is not, or has never been empty, and that we were all transformed by the mindset of the collective, and that our original whole almost lost its own reality. Just because the external personality cannot understand the reality this emptiness conveys to our psychic personality. It’s like wrestling with a giant. It is impossible. With its strength, or its instinctive and immediate demands for the satisfaction of desires and needs. It cannot tolerate any deferral of them. But if I pay attention to the other, the source of the whole we share and which is each one’s unique experience, then the giant loses his strength. The reflection of the other in us is what makes it possible for us to hear our own inner voice. The giant becomes benevolent and helpful. Although constantly attentive and irritable to a complacent environment.

At some point, everyone will be called to face it. The collective power of our psyche. It’s often the introduction to our initiation. Most people who experience it unknowingly just give in to it and seek liberation from it through a person outside of ourselves. Or we laments that the external person is not accessible to us, or able to carry what we are experiencing. We have to suffer the tremendous impact it has on us. But when it withdraws, as it have to, to bring us back from that person to its primordial origin. The original power is usually lost, and a depression may follow, since it is not conveyed with any insight into what kind of significance it has for us when it happens. Partly because it is about being able to stand up to it in ourselves. We have to recognize our bodies, our physical presence. And to realize that it is working through us. That it is there both within, and between us. It is what will make us grow. It is the power that takes us out of our psychologically perceived dependency, away from the relationships that characterize our personal childhood and the undeveloped experience we have of this force as an end in itself. As something we indulge in with selfish purposes instead of being something that gives us a powerful way of looking at ourselves, at our own nature and the world around us. How we and others live in relation to it both mentally and physically. For most, it stops there as an end in itself. We cling to it through others in a grand way, or we may cling to it as ”the suffering of the world”, where there is never going to be enough suffering that we address and indulge in. Because we haven’t seen it as something we have to face in ourselves, personally. An almost unbelievable amount of suffering emerge from this experience. I also think that it is most likely why people tend to cling to all kinds of different authorities. They think that they can end ”their” sufferings of the world.

I do not relate to my surroundings with the views of public opinion, about what is generally recognized and accepted there. Or the perceptions it has about what is right or wrong in a world of thought separated from the experience of where our nature and social life interrelate in an embodied sensory manner. That just transforms someone’s assumption of what something is, into someone else’s assumption of what also is, where we infinitely deny the ’other’ within ourself the right to exist. There is never any real interior involvement. Because there is no such thing. That kind of assumptions have no roots in the other’s psychological space. The world of personal subject-to-subject sharing of presence where we actively participate in each other’s existence is not present, and I don’t like to be outside of the center of my being. Outside of what is taking place continuously, that is, from behind of the mainstreams assumptions, and that which matters most. Both humans, non-humans and places exists within its own existential space of value and meaning, and that space between nature and society is in itself social. It is where we get our reflections of what we are, and mutually co-create each others’s sense of awareness of the other. Be it a place, a human or a non-human sensory experience of our reality. We just become involved in what it is that is there, and since the dawn of man we still make experiences that are widely recognized and accepted there too. We have just learned to ignore it, to reference and pay attention only to what is outwardly recognised, and only look at ourselves like that. The cultures of any indigenous people of any traditional origin may confirm this to us. We are completely out of our minds and we dont even now it.

I no longer have any hope. Its gone. It just isn’t there anymore. I see no conceivable continuation to the better of how we act on this world from its present state. I see myself in it, but not the world in that content. My experiences do not connect to its present state of mind. The part of me that has to do with it has lost the old transference from which it was made. The civilized part of me that was created for me have no connection to the nature that transforms it. To the Nature I come from and who involves me in my existence. What we call culture has no meaning for me because it does not embody anything in me, in my nature. To try to emulate it, to be ”civilized”, is to deny how it behaves spontaneously, and the directions it conveys to me. I think that as long as we deny our nature, there is nothing civilized in what we call culture. Because humans are not the only acting subjects in our environment. I experience an active interplay, or a coupling between the perceiving subjective experiencing, together with that which it perceives. It makes perception participatory for me, since places also gather experiences and histories. By doing so, they do themselves become social beings and actors. We mutually co-create each others’s sense of being with them as well as with all non-human minds that is part of the psychical nature we are embedded in, and the knowledge it is producing. It is more real to me to say that we live as objects in an inter-subjectivity than anything else, in a direct subject-to-subject sharing of presence. But most of us has lost, denies, or never had any language to be able to participate in it. And without it, there is only a surface left of how we are formulated by our culture, by its empty political correctness. There is no hope in that, and we will perish by it. This means that when we do, we will have nowhere else to go than to our Nature. But we never get there if we cannot acknowledge that the world is at least partly evil, and that that evil is there because we are also part of it through ourselves. In how our civilised social attitude denies the validity of others in their relation to their own nature as formulated by them. Which compulsively will make others an image of ourselves, not letting their subjective presence count. In this we tend to make the whole of mankind an opposite of its parts.

We do not share experiences per se, but we do share the impression of a background force in our psychic organization that makes us have them. How many of us willingly take the journey to that kind of understanding? To live it together with others? Without that experience, all relationships become dependent on their material aspects only, and can only be confirmed by the tangible. Only our instincts will remain for us, which must then be the only supporting undercurrent in all our relationships. This was what the spiritual teachings of indigenous peoples were about. To define our relationship to the organization of this background structure apart from our instincts. They were interested in the forces that influenced how we made our experiences. The influence it had on all life. It is this origin that we feel in the immediately present and infinite nowingness, which manifests itself in the experiences we make and call psychology today.

My grandson and I where building plus plus together this weekend. He asked me what I was doing and I answered that I was making a plant. I then asked him what he was doing. -I am building space he said. Ok, what does space contain? I asked him. His answer was as obvious as it was immediate. -Everything I dont know he answered me.
And a few weeks ago, he built a sand castle with a sleeping queen in the house in the middle, surrounded by a ”castle wall”. He said then, -Tobbe and Lotta with their kid live in a small village there.
I guess personal space and the person that is to become its inhabitant is making room for itself ..

Three things must be experienced for what they are during some period in life in order for us to be involved in the initiation that we encounter and that runs within us throughout our lives. We must be exposed to and feel real vulnerability, experience real seclusion, and understand and find our access to the inner nature that is one with the one that embraces us, something we must also face alone in our experience of how darkness affects us. I believe that everyone goes through them individually and in different forms, and that some of us stay for far too long in deviations from them, and in what then arises when we do not understand what it is we experience when we go through it. What it is within us that is a part of it. We tend to suffer from it in silence or in seclusion without knowing why we do it. We feel exposed and vulnerable without knowing the cause of why it appears. We can experience fear of our own natural instincts through others, and of the darkness that naturally arises around us, which can then trigger our own sense of insecurity that we carry within us in the encounter with our own nature, and we begin to see it through people and things around us. That’s why exposure to seclusion and darkness is so important. To experience our nature in its embodied sense of that wholeness that encompasses us. Because if we ignore our part in this, it will silently haunt us and cause anxiety. We diminish ourselves and become irritable and defensive. If we accept it, we will be guided in the experience of our psychic architecture. We become part of nature instead of repeating ourselves in our fears, or in our feeling of loneliness and vulnerability which is where we are made unique. That is, we constantly try to rationalize this away while our reality speaks a completely different language that says something else about the truth behind our attitude. We are not involved. What I mean is, our fears, feelings of vulnerability and loneliness are intimately connected to the experience of the psychic initiation everyone has within them. Whether we are aware of it or not, it will be expressed through us as a physical experience. The question is if we are able or willing to follow its lead. Which initially is painful and tremendously disturbing for the mindset we are growing out of and leaving.

To me it seems that finding our double is crucial for all types of human relationships. It is about our recognition of the arguments of others. If we deny ourselves ”the other” within us, we do not recognize the other person’s validity, so we deny them this other, or his / her’s double’s right to exist. When we do that, we become two-dimensional and have no standpoint in ourselves. The other have no say, because we only let our ”civilized” ideals decide what is to be accepted by us. Completely leaving out the rest of our shared psychic Nature. We become a dummy for what is generally accepted regardless of its consequences for the individual, and for ourselves. We become our own enemy without knowing it. Grand ideas and flamboyant ideals become guiding principles for our human actions. Something that is constantly going to remind us, and shame us as inattentive people. An experience that we are constantly influenced by in others. We let it ravage freely and wonder how political phenomena seem to arise out of nothing, and how isolated outbreaks of atrocities are carried out by people who have lost or never had any contact with who we also are within us. We dont even recognise how it appears in our own personal life. Scale it up to leadership over large companies, organizations or countries and we see more clearly what is behind our news. What is happening in the world. We just let the world suffer it for us. It is about finding our true voice, or our real name. Or we only know of others what we think is civilized, or generalized in ourselves through our compressed dummy. Not through our conversation with ourselves that is something that also exists in others. It is this that makes us impenetrable, to a mere facade, isolated and inaccessible to the world around us.

In Finnish folklore, an ‘etiäinen’ is what a person is a reflection of, a sensed impression of a double that precedes him or her, and does, or do, the same things that a person does, and have to encounter later on. To meet with such a ’being’ can be called an etiäinen. An etiäinen can be heard and sometimes also seen. In sami it is called ”Ovdasas” (forerunner or forewalker) or ”Mannasas” (walking afterwards) or ”Forrosas” (traveller), This Farrosas (traveller, covering both terms) refers to that everybody is born with a double, which is also the person’s guide. Ovdasas in Finnish is oudastaa, which means to detect, or see through things. An awareness, and a promonition, hence the term ”forerunner”, when it refers to the double or the template of our being. It is often confused with the image we have of ourselves, our autopilot or the ”civilized” version we use in our social interaction with others. But they have nothing to do with each other because they are two separate experiences. One of them, our Nature, is in us what is constantly evolving, the other is that which is already known, and generally accepted.

I’ve always had a companion who is what makes me se ahead, like in a premonition of people and events. Recently I also learned that it is a norm, something to be expected with my background. In a way one can say it walks ahead of me at the same time as it follow me from behind. Like someone giving me directions and points me to how I react to the experiences I have to dwell in, that occupies me. This activity freaked me out in my youth, and made me prefer to spend much of my time alone with myself trying to figure out what this was, to contain its energy, since no one around me seemed to take notice about such things. In the past, the Finnish language had terms that referred to it, oudastaa, and etiäinen. Which is the double that we are a reflection of, or have a sensed impression of. By using its raised energy, it was used to perform some needed tasks, and get help or guidance. We still sense it in that way. An impulsive force of nature that is inspiring us with its close physical connection to earth. Which make us feel part of it. But its first appearance in my youth really made me question my sanity. Among other things with auditory visions that was threatening my sense of reality. Later it forced me into a complete breakdown of how I previously perceived my world. To shift my stand about it. I am deeply in debt to those that was close to me for taking it for what it was. To let me ride it out. It opened me up to what I had in my bones, deep in my marrow. It was a release of the experience of that other nature I had within me. This in turn also made me realise that people talking of having had previous lives, or identifying with it in our present one, and respect that layer of experience, are worthy of more than scorn from people around them. The undercurrents of our current time do still hold old layers of experiences close to us in the architecture of our mind. When we begin to realise that we have a double within us, a kind of universal human template, we may also be able to experience where its reality was cut off from our life together with others. To connect to it again is to embody it anew, and translate its experiences to our present time. We reconnect our true being with our lives. The content that previously made us see through things now turns into a living reality behind the person we have learned to be. What we have seen between the lines becomes our reality, and the energy level of the double now becomes the center of our world. The person now faced by our doube becomes a ghost of what we once where, of what we had to let go. He was just a make believe, a smokescreen, not what we truly are. We can relate to the psychic layer and its functioning in us that we were born with, which will connect us with our ancestors, and help us to understand how its influence affect us in our lives.
That person we where, the reflection of how our world wanted us to be, not what our double really are, and the name that has been attached to his, or her reflection, is a mere mannequin, a dummy and a compromise. An idealized version of what is considered to be civilized. It becomes a threat to us when we realize that it is not at all civilized. That he cannot make our decisions for us, because he is an empty representative, not of how the content of our psyche, as part of our common human nature is transferred to him by us. Or as our threshold to the world around us. He is not something we should identify with. If We do, we just become empty shells. So when we complain or criticize others, what we feel is psychic starvation through him. I think that’s why many relationships in ”civilized” societies are so turbulent, and become violent.

I also believe that it is our own external substitute, that ”civilized” perception of a personality, which only resembles and serves an image of the real one, that is what our psychopathic culture forces on our indigenous peoples. Who then just like us when we have lost the relationship to our own psychic architecture, try to relieve the pain in it, with psychotropic drugs, alcohol and other self-medication. We suppress the relation to our own inner origin by oppressing indigenous peoples in the outer. Often, this sickness comes disquised behind words like developement and globalisation. But a clear language is extremely important to people, because in its natural context it refers to our original experiences, which are then through language transmitted to us by our grandparents’ parents’ parents, and then by us to our children and grandchildren. Without it, we will be deprived of the geography of our psychic extistence. Our experiences becomes disconnected from its relationship to our immediate reality.

”People sometimes talk about ”schamanic disease”, a special condition, a nervous disposition combined with artistic talent and extraordinary irritability.” (Wiklund, 1978: 166)
Traditionally, some individuals had the ability to raise the energy level of our double, in order for it to perform certain intended tasks, drumming was the ceremonial way to do that. Today we experience it in many of our relationships with each other and in nature but also without having a psychic architecture that can put what we experience into a psychic whole. So we look for explanations instead of a relationship to that which affects us, and which is beyond our control.

I think this ”disease” is our kind of initiation into our interior form of being as a container for experiences of psychic nature. Like how women understands how they can manipulate men by becoming a container for it, and for men, the relational nature of life that men see of themselves through women. In the same way that men casually embody the ability to formulate that container, and what it contains for women who are reluctant or prevented from doing so. Herein lies much of the conflict we experience later in life with still youthful minds in an unprocessed interior. Obviously this is based on culture and not on gender since both the experiencing and the formulation of it will occur regardless of how culture define it. It is annoying as hell for any reality outside of our instinctual sexuality because so much confusion is put into it, to how we victimize each other and force the other to emotionally give in to what we ourselves have unprocessed within ourselves. With what our lack of self-independence imagine identity is all about. That blame is all over the place when we do not work through the insights of what it means to see through everyday events on a human level. And I am not referring to hearsay, mindless thoughts, gossip or guilt that floods us on a daily basis. That will not create any genuine reflection of this process we have within us. It is like a primordial initiation into a world of psyche and to independently discover our own constant dialogue with that other in a world of experiences. Of course, depending on how this has first been translated to us in our surroundings, by our heritage. But it will work through us in one way or the another anyway. Even if we do not recognize it as something that exists as a part of ourselves.

Casually, many today believe that we must make ourselves victims of its influence on us. While we are, in fact, called by our nature to walk the inherent path that it currently leads each of us to follow in ourselves. We are all alone in listening to what it has to say, and following where it leads us, but we share that calling with everything around us.

.. when a Sámi becomes closed up in a room, then he does not understand much of anything, because he cannot put his nose to the wind. His thoughts don’t flow because there are walls and his mind is closed in .. But when a Sámi is on the high mountains, then he has quite a clear mind.
Johan Turi – An account of the Sami.

I could not agree more. There is a Sami word, meahcci, which is a perceived moral dimension with practical consequences, where psyche and nature are experienced as one in our interactions with it. There are practices of enchantment there that is not possible to squeeze in to closed spaces.

Perhaps it was the experience of this that organized religion later came to recognize as the concept of soul, which in its external form in a Sami context was called radien neita, and which inwardly was called saivo neita. But no matter how we choose to name these types of experiences, they do not differ, because this occurrence is in them both. This is not the gender issue it is often formulated as. Radien giedde is as important to the understanding of the content of inspiration as the soul is as a container for it.