in the wilderness of instinctive energy, and the questioning of the heart of a distorted identity

There are some general steps that I have gone through on and off throughout my life that I think I have in common with everyone else. They were first brought to my attention and formulated in the movie Ghandi. An order that for me is about how we descend into our basic human values. In the movie it was the act of non-violence against the British occupation. This is about the occupation of our individual basic human values. They are of course the same because the collective identity is the individual in pluralis. But we have different experiences in relation to them, so we get to deal with them differently. First, we are too young, we may still be well into our adulthood for this, but we ignore our basic human values ​​in our adaption to the environment. Then we become condescending and look down on them. We also begin to defend ourselves and become threatening and aggressive towards them before we finally accept that we have them ourselves. In this sense, people around us, our collective, which our parents are an extension of are not necessarily evil. But when our basic human values ​​are one-sidedly judged from their external, material side, and we judge ourselves and the importance of others exclusively from it, we do harm because we believe that our value solemnly rests on a collective basis. Outside of us. In other things, ideas, and in other people and social contexts. Not on basic values ​​that exist within ourselves that we share with everyone else, and in a psychic awareness of them that we can safely share in our own way. If we are so preoccupied with our own importance in the opinion of others, we experience them only superficially in ourselves and we usually do not even perceive them in relation to each other. We think we are doing good but we are the cause of a lot of pain and suffering. So evil exists in our midst. Among the ones we like the most. We are that evil. But it is also something we have to face and relate to anew every morning we get out of bed. They also decide how we ourselves want to be treated. Who we want close, and who we want to keep at a distance. Some of which we have to avoid completely because they have too many layers of defensive protection for the pain our basic human values causes in them because of the abuse they have been subjected to. We just cannot share our vessel with them, or our psychic consciousness without being hurt or getting ourselves pulled into their circle of conflicts. It just doesn’t work if they can’t be that vessel for themselves. There is no point of entry. But apart from the sense of becoming invaded by such a person, of its collective identity. We already got our meaning in relation to the inherent values ​​of life that were given to us when we came into this existence.

the nature of our life reflect how close we are to the principles inherent in it

Honesty, closeness, acknowledgement, trust. The pillars of our basic human needs. Everyone has them. It doesn’t matter what opinions we have about them. They are just a convinience. A way of maintaining a superficial jargon to protect our woundings, which blinds us from the essence of our human reality. Because how we are affected and assimilated by our basic needs will also determine our ability to genuinely relate to each other with the behavior we and everyone else possess at the core of all our relationships. It is what we are. Opinions not based on our basic human needs are just complete shit. An excuse to not have to deal with ourselves and grow in our relation to our psychic consciousness. To accept ourselves, our tensions, this charged air we breathe, the fragility, the emotional outbursts, the defensive wit. All this touchiness and its background wounds. Its fears and the lack of feeling grounded in our humanity that tears us apart from the inside. There are no exceptions. This is what we all are. Medication may postpone it, put us on hold, but it will not do it for us. The only thing that help is to dare it, and rebuild our relation to what they are to us in a safe vessel. Which is provided by the ground of our being, by Nature, and together with someone or people around us who honestly respect it.

we are all life that exists, and how it imagines itself in us

The majority of people in this world, that is you and me, are the cause of the condition it is in. We cannot or do not want to realize that there are more to us in our psychic consciousness than we are culturally willing to accept. We only see the image we like to see of ourselves in there and exclude the rest with hostility. As a threat to our made up self-image. Within a collective of various kinds, we try to create conditions that make it easier for the people within them to live. But that does not mean that we have to interpret the relationship we have with psychic life in an exclusive manner. Or that we need to change our unique personal characteristics to unconditionally conform to it. Every time I get exposed to media I am horrified at the limitations of human needs we have imposed on ourselves through others. We are all someone’s child or grandchild. We all grow old and become the old ones. Our human needs are not subject to anyone’s idea of what they are. They are what they are. Everyone has them. It does not matter what opinions we may have about them. They are just a convinience, complete shit. Until we understand this, we will always create suffering and act psychologically immature in an undeveloped and destructive way in this world. We can even push it to the point of no return. Both individually and together. That is what we do and it is destroying us. We are even about to perish from it.

my mental well-being and the relationship it has with the world around me

The repetition I can end up in in my mind has two sides in me. One is a representation and the other a participation. My participation is the conversation I have with the representation that formulates my experience and its relationship, my commitment to it. If we articulate what we experience in our psychic consciousness within ourselves, not through a vicarious external physical person, then we experience our psychic awareness as something within ourselves while it is also my participation in my inner flow which I also share with everyone else. I am both. I relate to it as being it at the same time as I am in it. But when I relate it to my inner person, by the inner person I mean who we are behind that attitude we wish others to see us, then we discover that our psychic consciousness is of the same kind as our inner person. Both consist of the same psychic substance there. I think we learn to relate to a counterpart in the psychic field of consciousness we are a part of with our inner person by this. At the same time, we also discover that we are formulated by the influence of a larger underlying whole on us, and that this gives, and has constantly given us formulations throughout our lives. And that we have mixed it up with our external fathers. It is our personal kind of inner road in life. And we realize that those who haven’t taken this seriously get sick and act in a contradictory and confused manner. With this insight, we see it as both a conscious and naive malevolence. But if we constantly see ourselves through others and in an image of them that may represent our inner counterpart, we end up in a repetition. We also believe that if, we don’t maintain the relationship to the experience of our inner counterpart that we see in someone else. We get lost. That we loose our relation to what it is in us. The other becomes the bearer of the relationship in the repetition of our own experience. We live in a representational relationship with ourselves that may be shaped by some external physical person who may, or may not be able to carry it for us. Which is of course impossible. But in order to keep it, because we constantly lose it when that person is not present, we live with an image of our experience instead. Something that is completely natural. We have done it with our parents first. In our childhood, when our psychic consciousness was carried by our mothers since we related to ourselves through them as children. Our inner voice which is mediated by the formulations of the greater personality within us is carried by our physical fathers when we are young, and they gives our conceptions their authority when we transfer our voice to them as our relation to the outside world. But then something happens. We are separated from our external representation of the parental couple and end up in a state without an internal organization, but with time spent in that space, a new primordial psychic structure also appears that we have mixed up with the influence on us that comes from the outside. Our inner psychic participation and the communication we have had in relation to our inner being has stopped and been lost in externally fixed and permanent notions outside of our own personal experience of the psychic flow that surrounds us everywhere. We find that we have limited ourselves and allowed ourselves only that which confirms the already known and generally accepted, and excluded the relationship we also have with a greater psychic field in our lives. We have chosen a custom social practice, with the conditions and social rules defined by it as a basis for our relationship to ourselves. But the original underlying psychic structure and organization that begins to emerge questions our behavior. We begin to see ourselves from a new perspective. We discover that we share a greater psychic consciousness with everyone else behind our cultural adaption. In the nature we are a part of and everything that affects each other that is in it. We interpretate it in our own personal way as we experience a new community with all living things in a direct relationship to the presence of others in the wholeness of the psychic background we share together there.

a kind of forgotten negotiation with life

A word I often heard about me, which was addressed to me many times throughout my childhood, which I suddenly remembered a couple of days ago. It was now brought to my attention again by my late mother. For some time I have been thinking a lot about how we ourselves view our inner forces and how our own way of suppressing them then limits them in others, and conversely how others affect that relationship with ourselves. An expression my mother, grandmother and great-grandmother used when I turned to them inspired, or came up with things that I intensely wanted to convey, or when I went off into the forest or out on the river for myself was ”It’s liikutuksia”. “He has liikutuksia”. I didn’t think much of it at the time. That’s how it was. Sometimes it was an epithet for my need to spend time with myself, and sometimes also because my intensity was becoming laborious and intrusive to them. But I was thus allowed to listen to it. It was my second attendance. Or noaidevouhta, but they used this later more accepted word for the older Sami experience of “the calling,” as I have learned now. It also means that you express yourself differently, that you are a geaiddut, a vision changer. I think that what is meant by this today is, that there is a tendency to defend ones integrity with sudden almost inexplicable outbursts of anger, like a bear. Which may explain some of the occurrences of bears in my dreams. But also having a need of a withdrawal at times that makes you invisible and disappear. Such a person could also change the direction of others attention and conjure up a psychic perspective to life, to the content of that space which is not always visible to the naked eye. Those who had this where the ones that had their attention on that psychic consciousness we share which is the mind of the within in the without. It is as common today as it was in the past, although we use different terms to describe it now.

urban environment and its violence on psychic reflection

In the urban mind and its way of working there is no Nature. It does not see itself through it, so there is no embodied Nature within that mindset to relate to that which will mediate between the opposites of the ego and its container. There is no place for psychic reflection as something contained in people as a relation between them and the within in the without. Such an internal point of reference that is everywhere at once has lost its pre-existing primordial patterning. And its self organising principle and psychic perspective as an intersubjective individual path of development have more like turned into a severe loss of orientation, even more so if someone has a non secular psychic background. Individuality in this sense has almost become obliterated, and is lost as an unrecognizable part of the morals and conformity the herd. It is precariously obvious in its relation to nature. To the environment it does not recognize as a basic condition for sustaining its life, and the internal dependent relationship everything has to everything else within it.

our psychological background and austrailian aboriginal dreamings relation to saami saivo

Every morning I have to get out of my psychic reflection, out to the allness sense of nature as being, of which my mind is only a part, out to the earth as the experience it is of the totality that is the psychic flow in the within of the without. An attention that is aware of and listens to all background forms of energy in a psychic field that spontaneously directs everything from its source together with a creative primordial singularity that acts as an organizing principle in all that exists. A kind of background to life that is the non-material potential and intersubjective experience of all psychic processes, and the information that coordinates the creation of the material world as objects for our external senses. Where matter is considered etymologically as in mater or mother and our bodies act as a conscious interface that interprets how she makes herself known. It is like a reference to life as the psychic flow both underlying, and constantly present in all events and happenings that occur in and around us. This is what I have always tried to relate to, and think that everybody is trying to connect to in one way or the other. The forms in that something we commonly refer to as our experience of everythings potential in reality.

When writing this above, I suddenly was reminded of a dream I have had where the dream self cut through a cabled electric fence to meet my inner couple, my guide and his female counterpart, or psychic reflection. Wherein I at the same time also liberated mother nature, where she, dressed in traditional Saami clothes, stepped out of her earthen peat-goahti, and greeted the rising sun with open palms inside the now broken enclosure that previously held us from being part of a larger whole as prisoners. I passed through the opening I had made and went towards them to meet them, and I also show them the luggage I carry with me packed on the snowmobile’s trailer. This earlier dream almost becomes something of a premonition of later events in me. That was the first time. Now i pass through that opening every morning.

my gender versus cultural and political correctness

What often amazes me is that it is not entirely obvious that we on the one hand are identified with the presence of our body, and our physical existence characterized by our gender. On the body as our physical experience of ourselves as human beings made of flesh and blood. And on the other hand, that we are our psychic existence, the psychic reflection as our very own version of our inner opposite sex. We are brought up to to usually see our physical gender through the culture we grow up with. Which also makes us look at our inner opposite sex in a strange way. It becomes impersonal in a way that ends up in conflict with what this is within us. But regardless of which we identify with, we are both of them. From time to time one is more prominent than the other, and sometimes we need to relate with one more than the other. Either way, both are equally real to me. But when we mix them up, nobody feels good in any relation to them, and we have prejudices about everything from masculinity, femininity, homosexuality to transsexuality. But really it’s about the relationship each of us has with how we meet them in ourselves. We are all of them.
In old Sami thinking of this experience, they are both present as a reality in relation to psychic adulthood and Liejbbeålmáj all the time. But even they have been screwed up by how we “should” look at ourselves in order to be seen, and to feel witnessed by the other. By cultural and political correctness, and its constant intellectal recursion.

my ego is a kind of concentration of influences it cannot control

The ego has a kind of strange relationship to memory because it uses it to be able to acknowledge anything that spontaneously appears as if it were a product of it. Not that there are other actors behind that gives rise to them who remind us that there is also something beyond what affects us, and teaches us things about ourselves in it. Something the ego can realize when we embody it by being exposed to it. The ego then becomes more like a reference to Liejbbeålmáj. To the alertness and concentration of a hunt, its attentiveness and integrity. So that we can achieve our desired goals, in flesh and blood as in physical reality, and simultaneously to be aware of its relation to the contents of the mind. To psychic awareness and adulthood in a greater sense, and to the intersubjective closeness of the Nature that surrounds what the great mother, Rádienáhkká makes us participate with in the forest, by the lakes, the table-lands, in all that which is conveyed to us by the experience of her. Juoksáhkká gives us courage, testing us incessantly, enforces us to acknowledge this and develop, and provides us with the focus we need in relation to the primitive forces that govern our lives from the within in the without. But because of its ignorance, the ego really imagines that it is the origin of everything. Not that it is given directions. And all the time our true nature and our relationship to it, regardless of what we feel accustomed to when we refer to our formless potentiality, is disconnected from our life by the ego. But our psychic being seeks embodiment, it seeks to come out while we seek to get to him. This is where we can experience our own pain, the one we feel in this relationship to ourselves as we identify with it in others, and it is denied by the ego of that other person. Or even worse, it becomes completely ignored. The tension this creates within us is tremendous because of the ego. But it gives us a clear view of our relationship with the one we have within, which guides us to the common aspects made of the content of the singularity we are part of, that is the source and event horizon of the psyche, the night sky, cosmos or Rádienáhttje in sami. Which is the animating principle or force of the indwelling allness behind everything. Its makes itself present in Rádienáhkká, the earth as the physical flow of our psychic reflection, which makes it the intersubjective center of all things as it is the potential that transforms itself to matter(mater, or mother).

our primordial natural awareness, as the essence of being

I like to think of the concept of the event horizon in physics as the boundary beyond which psychic events cannot be experienced by an observer. As the psychic place where there is no embodied difference between one aspect of the psyche as a singularity and another. Where the difference is in terms of its embodiment and expression but not in itself. A psychological perspective on the space between everything where we are the observed. Where everything is subject to a spontaneous intrasubjective flow of realisations. Of which we, our inner person and the ego is a part. An energy field that is experienced as coherent subjective units of psychic mass that affect us at different stages of life. Which we first interpret in the sense of our relation to our inner parents, and in opposite accord with our own gender as its smallest unit and context of psychic consciousness. An embodiment which is then transferred onto women outside of this first smallest maternal sphere before being transferred onto “femininity”, the world outside and on earth as its natural element of psychic influence of the within in the without. It’s like our psychic consciousness develops from our physical mother within us, to our relationship to the earth and to the night sky of creation as its highest subjective sense of belonging. And women as an embodiment of all these stages. Thats why our relation to earth and to women mirrors our relation to our self. It’s about our consciousness, about our relation to our psychic reflection. When all this energy is fully focused on how it can be applied and not how we experience it when we spontaneously image the intrasubjective relationships that are emerging from its origins, i think it is out of this, that much of our psychological anxiety and its suffering arises. We exclude ourselves from the equation we are part of, and it tends to define our world as masculine, and an one-sided and unchanging material reality through its absence of our personally experienced interior psychic opposite.

we meet ourselves time and again in an expansive way of being

In my life there is always this “wireless telepathic connection” as the connection that occurs behind the face in what we let others reflect of us in an external sense and the relationship between the inner person and the person living in the other as that reflection which is constantly going on in the relationship with ourselves. But if we have never allowed it to be expressed in our lives, we fall head over heels for it when we discover it and it then demands that it be allowed to remain in our lives through someone else, and forces it on them. Or we defend our external attitude and how we have adapted to it by trying to control what we think we are through its influence on us and others, and then wonder why we are so tormented and full of anxiety. I never cease to be amazed, neither by myself nor by others, how it is constantly going on inside of us without anyone really consider it as a living connection, enter into it and truly be it without getting caught up in any of its internal opposites. It is that space between us that is both of us at the same time as it is each separated from the other. The psychic experience that both makes it our inner reflective counterpart and inspirer as our relationship to ourselves in others.

the mind as the within in the without of a society

Few doubt that we have individual experiences that have a common psychic origin. However, almost no one has their own formulated and pronounced relationship to what affects us all from there. And without it, we lack a psychic perspective, an ability for psychic reflection to the common experiences we formulate personally and culturally. The social organization of our societies will come to lack a psychic consciousness as a common expression of its internal relations. And such a society does not see and does not pay attention to the individual. It has lost its human origin. People in it have no way of true self-reflection. A relationship that is based on what is between them and themselves. The anxiety this creates for the individual is then not seen as a symptom of a psychic consciousness making itself known, but because it deviates from the social organization it is not recognized by and adapted to, and which must be suppressed in order for its fragile relations to persist and be maintained in its superficial formality, it will just be seen as a result of that deviation, not for what it is in the individual that lacks his or her’s relation to a common human origin. What we call psychic reflection as a joint activity that our relationships relate to individually constitutes its inner personal context, and without any relationship to our psychic nature in a personal sense, our societies will always fundamentally be power-seeking, brutal, controlling, sick, unjust, greedy, opinionated and destructive to those who live in and around them. Without any relation to our psychic origin we will constantly seek to exploit it for our own ends. Because that is what is left behind when we unilaterally romanticize our normality by suppressing the reflection we share with all that exists between us and ourselves. But by just paying attention to that we turn to something, to that other than the me when we think or are called into reflection, voluntarily or not, because since we are drawn into it independent of our own act or will, it will make a significant difference in all our relationships.

an emanation out of a psychic realm of potentiality

The mind is not emptiness, or just biochemical circuits, it is our psychic space experienced as consciousness and a relationship to an active participation in the source of its expression. Undeveloped as a kind of sleep state where we get lost in a floating absence and drowsiness, a social awkwardness from an interior perspective of information. A kind of inner embrace from which we are not yet born in an intersubjective sense. A condition we try to adapt to in our surroundings. Often with an obsession with detail. Ideas and opinions out of touch with our relationship to its inner psychic source. We still live in the protective embrace once provided by our physical mothers but in an interior sense. Connecting to it everywhere. But our mother’s mother, Mother Nature in her might and psychic presence is the one who will lead us back to our senses. To the presence she has as psychic reflection and embodied awareness of everyone’s and everythings relationship to her. She is the one who guides us to the place and psychic perspective that our consciousness shares with everyone else. To what then becomes our relationship that we actively listen to with our inner companion and his counterpart, which is our mind as the integrity of the psychic consciousness in a worldly sense. A spherical experience of participation with the spine as its primordial moral center of support for the constant flow of embodied psychic energy, transforming mind into matter. A kind of pillar that separates the earth from the psychic night within us, which with its other end holds up the sky, and creates consciousness in the space between them.

its probably me ..

When we choose to identify with an attitude, an idea, an opinion, or the image of ourselves that it creates for us, we also simultaneously create an enemy of its opposite. Our actions will provoke those around us to respond to the transmitted image of hostility to how we want to see ourselves. And if they defend themselves, it will generally be seen as evidence, not of our provocation, or attitude towards others, but of the right to see them as an enemy because they will question the identity that the made-up self-image behind our provocation conveys. It is then no longer about our relationship to ourselves, the unique personal reflection we carry within us of the psychic consciousness we share with everyone else in our own individual way. It’s about creating a self-image of our limitations, in which we are hemmed in, and abandoning that psychic consciousness that makes us what we are, so that we can unilaterally live up to that within our self-image that is the opposite of what we don’t want to be. To what constitutes how we conform to some of the general morals that suits our view of ourselves. We become our own worst critic in the image of ourselves. Or we will defend it by seeing its enemies in people and the world around us. But in the end it will be the world around us that will suffer from it.

the other and the middle of everywhere

Whatever image we have of ourselves, whatever attitude we have towards others or towards life itself, all we can say about it is that it is an outer reflection of an inner fact. We have a constant dialogue with our second personality as it constantly reflect on itself through its bodiless gender opposite as psychic consciosness. It is a kind of ongoing active meditation with that source and to those who willingly or not have chosen that path.
Seen in the light of that relationship to ourselves, the full extent of the limitations that have been imposed on us by inheritance from our immediate surroundings becomes painfully clear. It will be our task to replace them in their entirety with what we are in our psychic consciousness and in the totality it is a part of.

a way of being in the world

With our psychic consciousness we are in contact with what is within what is outside of us as everyone and everything has a part in it from within. Without a connection to that energy and tension within which is greater than the ego and come into existence in others at the same time as it come into existence in us, as if it were our own personal experience, we only feel half together with others. We live with a basic feeling that there is no greater authenticity in our relationships, between ourselves and others. Our relationships with our surroundings do not feel genuine enough. We are not in the psychic force field that animates them. There is always something that is or is being left out and missing. We don’t feel whole. That is our psychic consciousness, or the other half we come to know through others. The lost connection to our sense of being part of a greater totality. Our psychic birth depends on enduring this tension. Which is traditionally what religious thought and spiritual training has been about in the past. But this is beyond that. Where words have no meaning. It is the direct experience of nature as something out there of that which is also something within. That is why the meaning of psychic reflection now comes with the realization of the oldest ways of being in the world. And the worst thing we can do to this is to use words and thoughts that limit or distorts how we get to experience this relationship to the underlying psychic functions that formulate the forces of the whole of which our inner person is a part.

.. and there is also a psychic consciousness we share

We do not live and experience ourselves only through our bodily reality, by identifying with it as our physical reality and the gender it conveys. We also have a psychic consciousness that can be described by us as the experience of a presence of our own opposite sex. Which makes us reflect on ourselves and feel involved psychically with others. We constantly oscillate between the image we have created of ourselves and our bodily existence, and the shared psychic consciousness we are in with others through the experience we have within ourselves of our own interior opposite. Our partners will make us aware of that whether we want it or not. A woman can become extremely irritated by a man’s undeveloped psychic consciousness, or interior counterpart when reflection turns into a psychic absence or self-pity in the same way that man can become equally frustrated with a woman’s absent mindedness and over-detailedness that misses its own overall context of becoming its own individually ongoing self reflection. In both ways, we identify and rely too much on the self-image we have created for ourselves in our adaptation to the demands and expectations that the environment places on us regardless and even condescending to the relationship we have with our personal psychic counterpart. Often to the point of completely neglecting the opinion of others for the content of that image. It will then instead have a coercive and sadistic influence on us and expresses itself in tormenting self-criticism for the spontaneous influence our inner partner have on us because its effect on us is not considered as “real”. We have a neglected and undeveloped relationship to the importance it has in our lives. So instead we are affected by it in a way that completely destroys the self-image we have built up and identified with when the force of our nature compulsively, for the sake of our psychological balance again tries to find an expression for what it is in itself for us in our lives. The tension this creates tear us apart. But we also discover that we have a parental couple within us that we have been together with for long enough. They now mediate a relationship with what is within us that opens up a larger cohesive psychological whole. A participation in the life processes and inner forms that lie behind all life and that our inner being is in and shares with everything else. There are many ways to describe it. I have only peeled off what I use for my own sake to make it more visible for others as well. But each of us must find our own language for what our relationships look like in this larger sense. Initially it is quite a brutal ride which later turns into a day to day challenge. That which we are confronted with to be able to face the spontaneous impulses that so obviously affect others as if they were also our own, and we must face at the same time they simultaneously arise in ourselves. It is that which is going to make us feel authentic. With an expanded sense of what reality can be and what it means to us in that which is behind all the words I use to refer to what it is.

my life as image and reflection

When we grow up and still have a strong connection to the larger whole we are a part of and come to develop the image of ourselves that we then adapt to in order to correspond to the expectations and demands placed on us from outside, we also simultaneously through all that which are not part of the image we have developed, create our constant adversaries which are all that which are not part of what constitutes our adaptation. Children with a close connection to nature experience this as a severe limitation, to be forced into such a reduction of the whole that they are a part of. It is also very confusing to be forced into all of the opposites it creates by the expectations found in that self-image when we try to live up to it. Because alongside it, we live with the psychic dominants that organize our within through the reflection we have access to by our psychic consciousness, and in relation to the forces that exert their influence on us since they are part of the wholeness we are accustomed to when we grow up. If we are not introduced to these expectations as something belonging to that image as a kind of vessel for the external adjustment to the impersonal social relations we must make, our lives will turn into a constant struggle between the opposites it creates for us and our intrasubjective world becomes a turmoil in black and white. We will be constantly torn between good and evil and the distorted morality it creates within us. That in turn, will be the experience we then get from the world around us. No matter what we are told about it. As long as we are not blown out of ourselves by others’ need to be self-affirmed, by the psychic winds of their self-image, we will always have the connection we need to the person within us and his companions in our shared intra-subjective world. They will always guide us and give us instructions as we walk further and further into life, if we have learned to pay attention to them. We are really going to need to muster all the heroic strength we can to navigate between these opposites, but only partly in an external sense. The true strength we must find is to uphold this tension and not put on a blind-fold for one to the benefit of, or suppression of the other. It is truly mentally exhausting to experience the one-sidedness of this attitude that is prevalent in our culture’s psychic consciousness. Any change for the better, or doing what needs to be done is lost in its potential, in its own opposite, and in a constant competition driven by the ego’s confusion with the influence of heroism, which in that sense loses its connection to the within in the without.

math as a kind of relation to my mind

Mathematics seems to me to be the balancing of the potential and the actual in the perpetual flow of energy where numbers symbolically represents the imagination to which the underlying unconscious content relates to the conscious in an equilibrium where the content of these opposites is maintained on both sides of the equal sign, and the relationship to the unknown every mathematician then tries to make conscious through the psychic tension then maintained between them in their work. This in itself creates an interface to psychic time and the elements there that organizes it. It is also where that energy is transformed, and converted into its embodied mass. In fact, they are both the same thing, or just nature making itself conscious about itself through our personal reflection. By referring to various aggregated amounts of psychic energy in the larger flowing field of which they are a part, we get a way of defining what the value or source of that energy may be. Not just how we can utilize it in a physical sense by math. But also so that we can interpret the information it conveys in direct relation to the influence it has on our senses. This is where an interaction takes place between body and mind, as our senses are experienced to be the formless psychic intersubjectivity of all life and all that is, has been, and is yet to be, and what people using mathematical thinking is trying to describe.

the loss of the psychic flow of life

Once again, I notice myself through my grandson, what I have been through and what has, and is happening in my own life. A phase in his life is the transition from the whole he is one with, his mother, his father, the enveloping feeling of nature and the people who surround him, to a more concentrated self image. Focused on the demands and expectations that arise in an external social community and its cultural conditioning. The one we are forced to create for our external needs. The feelings that arise when we step out of our psychic time and limit ourselves to our ego and to what arises when we experience this loss of being in a greater whole. A totality that includes all people, all life. The first times we experience this loss it feels as final as absolute. As if there is no turning back. Most of us are offered no imaginary security to retain a reference to it. We are just cut off from ourselves. In that way, we only learn that every time we need to return to ourselves, to psychic orientation and psychic time, we ignore it as we are taught to trust and refer only to external authorities for our needs. We learn not to listen to the psychic dominants that will guide us through our lives whether we obey them or not. Perhaps they will only remain in us as both personal criticism that comes from our loss, or as a criticism of the constant assault that takes place on our psychic integrity from this. No matter which, it is both the first few times, and then throughout our life extremely important that we do not lose our reference to the whole we are a part of, which we always carry with us, and which is our psychic inner flow we share with everyone and everything else. Without it, we lose the meaning that connects us to life. We don’t experience it because we lack the connection we need to access it from within. We lack access to our psychic consciousness, or in other words, our own reflection. It is the unpleasant experience I share with my grandson, which he experiences when he now suddenly gets to see the psychic whole he carries within him for the first time in his life in relation to his outside world. An experience I have shared with him daily throughout my life from my own first years at school, which no school can never give back to him. Because everything there strives to replace what this is with notions that do not guide him to any references to what his natural psychic influences are and come from. Without it, he is left completely alone to fend for himself, to the overwhelming forces affecting him from the within of the without.

on psychology and experience

The general view and attitude towards psychic consciousness that most share is quite distorted as it does not emphasize others experiences from their occurrence point of view. If people experience anguish or anxiety because they feel separate from the processes going on within them, then these processes get classified and evaluated outside their context and considered from a perspective separate from our experiences. But the people who go through them and have to deal with them themselves have nothing to do with what anyone thinks about these processes separately. They experience them directly. The treatment then does not end up with the person who experiences them, but in someone outside of them trying to treat the description they have of what they are going through. Also, the language that describes these processes are individual relations to a living reality quite different from the terminology generally used to formulate this kind of influence, since we recognize them not just by what they do, but also by their personal character in relation to our senses in our daly life. In this manner, self medication in various ways becomes a viable alternative to many people today. It has almost become a sacrament, a dark religion.

the underground home for all people, and the dead, where everybody sleep

Emptiness and anguish is what we feel when we fall into Jabmeaimo, when we can no longer cling to the person we invented to protect ourselves from the worries and anxiety of those around us, their need to be seen and to avoid falling helplessly into the collective consciousness’s lack of psychic structure. In Jabmeaimo we meet all the guises of influences, the forms of the psychic persons we carry with us, and which we meet when we enter psychic time. We discover during our psychic reflection that we have emptied ourselves of the abuses that our social context superimposed within us, and that the impressions we have are spontaneous and no longer have our will-controlled origin but act independently of us there. We are no longer filled by the need for fulfillment that our surroundings transferred to us. We can no longer dutifully be that for them as we cannot exist and operate in others from within them. We can no longer create them to exist in ourselves there. Or be who we once were. It is no longer possible to imagine that we see the other from within himself. But that we instead need our own emptiness to be recreated by what was within us from the very beginning, anew. Only then do our primordial parental couple emerge from Saivoaimo with new directions, and with that we are no longer going to need the constraints of others to control our social settings. They, like us, must find what lies beyond them, and go beyond the looming awareness we sense of the conditional limitations that exist in their inner background that we have adapted to with artificial means. We cannot enter into our end of psychic time from within another person. But we can be there and by that beingness point to its existence, and be there on our own terms as we meet them there. If they dare to step into it for their second birth.

psychic time and the embodiment of the constant return of gender opposites

In the realm of the mind, or in our psychic consciousness, there are layers that the Sami refer to in their own visual way. On the one hand we have Jabme-aimo, the constant flow within us of the departed, of the individual potential, and the patterns of energy that forms the shape of the personal character in all of us. Our inner qualities, what they are as they are resurrected through soul migration. On the other hand, in Saivo-aimo we have the parental figures and the greater beings they teach us about. The energies of Nature, its continuous flow through our minds, and nature as a physical experience of the world as psyche, and also, Nature as a representative and counterpart to the one we have within us. To our inner companion and to its connection to a source which in turn refers us to our relation to nature’s own constant embodiment of its potential. If we ignore this, we end up in that state of anxiety and mental suffering called Ruohtta-aimo. A made up world of isolation without meaning. It knows nothing about a shared interior psychic time. It have lost touch with what constitutes our psychic consciousness, or not yet entered into it. Either way, it is felt like we are empty, not alive, or maybe just having a kind of potential reality. A constant becoming apart from our inner reality that never is. A part of us always exists in our physical and bodily reality. Another is our psychic potential, a psychic consciousness experienced from within as of the opposite sex, regardless of our own gender. We may prefer one to the other despite of how they are embodied. But both are always present in one way or another in the living intrasubjective whole in which we find ourselves. If we do not have access to this experience, we become confused by the amount of information our internal processes create for us. We do not perceive the underlying whole upon which they depend and emerge from. Our minds go astray because we are out of alignment with our psychic foundation and how it affects us.

our world of non-existence

If I don’t listen to my center, the other within me which is my relationship to myself, I compel my connection to myself into a shadow existence. In that existence, it is then easy to fall into, and become a victim of others’ contradictory, and conflict-filled relationship to the torments of opposites they suffer in themselves. Which we then live out in a kind of twilight with our surroundings, or forces them to support unless we have a center. That inner companion has its own relationship to our victim-making, and to the character and courage that is required of us to find it. Because if we don’t, we condemn ourselves to a kind of background world like non-existence, to a living in both our own and others’ opposites. In an abstract world filled with contradictions and self-proclaimed saviors. We never get in touch with who we are and instead submit that to authorities of all kinds just to try to find something to hold on to. But they can never give us what we have to find out in ourselves. We make our world the conflicted confusion we have within us. If we do not find that within us which in Sami is called Radien-gieddte and Radien-niejta and their relationship to the inner parent couple. What they convey to us. We fall into Ruohtta-aimo and an anguish-filled existence that torments us when we don’t listen to our inner companions. To our center. Without it we just fall apart. We live in a hell of constant repetition of opposites as our one dominant psychic process. And we do it for others too. There are of course many other references to this. Living images that facilitate our relationships to the psychic world we carry within us. Images that refer us to the Nature of our relationships with the processes we have within, and to jabme-aimo, to those who came before us, and to the ones that have their own independent life within us, who make it possible to us to refer to what the within is in our without. This courage and and its relation to our inner center that we need, is what Juoksáhkká demands of us. Just the name of this twilight place, Ruohtta-aimo, deep down in our psychic underworld says it all. In Finnish it means torment or pestilence, and it is the place our minds end up in and what we become to each other, if we don’t face her.

opposites create experiences, illumination comes from another direction

The opposites of the ideas we verbalize create experiences through conflict. By endless repetition of its processes. Our mind becomes noisy because our relation to psychic space has been compromised and substituted by the externalization of its content as consciousness, and of the mind of society in a constant confusion between opposites, and that creates a tension within us since that primordial space in the individual mind constantly tries to make itself known to us, as serenity, apart from the opposites we experience as either a kind of flooding, an impatience, a disturbance of our limitation of the senses, or as the personal conflict we have with our conditioning and desires. We are no longer letting ourselves be related to, or observed by the space of our psychic totality because we resist its influence on us. We do not allow ourselves to be recipients of the full psychic experience of Nature as beings in its space. Something that is the world as mind, a consciousness in a space of its own stillness. Of the mind’s embodiment of our relation to life from where it originates. We are the silence of that Nature. A morning mist that sparkles with the sun’s first warming rays. A silent participation in the observation it makes of us as we receive its affection with inner joy and reverence. There we meet each other, or try to meet in the madhouse of the terrible mayhem that arises in all of our interior opposites. No relationship can handle this in the long run. We have to find our way out of this inside ourselves.

Its presence is that nature of an advisor, a protector of our psychic essence

Yesterday, at dawn when everything around me in the forest lay still at rest, I suddenly realized my individual part of the world as spirit, a psychic body in its own right and its disjointed aspects of that content. Aware of my relationship to how that began to awaken with what it was beyond this. The source of the beyond of me as my relationship to the psyche as world, a consciousness in itself. Its constant stream of actual psychic content as it manifests in me, as thoughts and ideas, as of an unknown origin of energy and power which within me is transformed into soul, into a tangible experience as it spontaneously transforms itself through psychic reflection into matter and life. My experiences and the embodiment I make of this is my entire physical relationship to the world, and to the psychic person within me who conveys this to me as he constantly develops my relationship to him in that presence as consciousness. There are many ways to describe how we relate to ourselves. To not let my own awareness, to what I am included in get mixed up with what is beyond it as consciousness. I can physically feel my belonging to the forest around me there, to the table-lands. Its inherent power as a part of me. But without my references I wouldn’t be aware of it. Of how I was related to them. About my longing for them, and what effect the distortion of the world as mind has upon me, on how it perceives itself and wants me to be in relation to it. It is part of me and I am part of it. It is both me and not me. But we are not the same.

the involuntary drive we have to participate in the activity of life from within

The only way we know how when we are young is that to mix up our psychic reflection with sexual attraction. We didn’t learn about it otherwise and it got mistaken as the force of life. So that became what we had for it. Our sexuality became a kind of pent up need for our inner reality. For what we needed, to be able to surrender to the forces of exaltation, euphoria and bliss that worked through us. We had nothing else because the psychic forces conveyed by our experiences could not contain impressions that deviated from, or threatened our habituated relationships and shared values. So sexuality became what made us allow ourselves to express what we experienced outside the social pressure. But its embrace only goes so far. Somewhere along the path of life, our psychic existence just have to separate itself from our sexual drive and start searching for a new direction by itself. Outside of our instincts but still very much aware of, and contained in our embodied existence. It is as if our psychic reflection was constantly accompanied by our instinctual urges. Maybe because we where not ready then, and maybe because the traditional outlet was not there. So that was how it found its way of expression since we are constantly thrown between these opposites within us. But if we don’t want to get bored out of our minds, we have to deviate from our previous attitude towards our selves and begin the transformation of our spontanaeous content and turn it into psychic reflection. Back to its primordial origin and to the powers behind our human behavior which lies beyond the control of our ego’s and the consciousness of the collectively governed mind. Otherwise, we are just ruining our lives as ignorant victims of the forces of our nature working on us from the inside out.

the mirror effect of that life where everything finds its counterpart beyond what is visible to the naked eye

A mother who sacrifices her femininity for motherhood teaches her children that there is a mother in the inner parent couple who embodies the experience we have of our mental body, in its sense of a fundamental belonging, as being a physical part of the earth, and the power that comes from that relationship as a personal reality of the world as mind, and the mother in the woman. A father who does not sacrifice himself for the fatherhood disconnects his children from the whole which is both a source and an origin, a conscious discernment of the content the energy and raw power that masculinity conveys beyond the ego in an undifferentiated form of acting meaning in all of us. He does not teach his children that there is a fatherfigure within the inner parent couple that mediates the experience of the underlying psychic structure we are a part of within that which is the intersubjectivity of our temporal reality, and a father figure in every man. We become confused and disoriented within ourselves, and we seem to have no connection or nothing to do with the outside world with which we interact in our psychic reflection. Our inner parental figures are the ones who teach us about our belonging to each other and to nature, which in our outer life is the relationship we have to our inner reality. That’s why Maderattje and Madderakka and whatever their likes are in people around us are so important. We just know when they are missing. People become disconnected from Nature, extremely vulnerable, self-absorbed, heartless, insensitive and authoritarian, and victims of the confusion that arises in the dynamics between the parental couple they carry within themselves. Something we then will confuse with others and the world.

nature has a mind of its own

The life force may be just a word to many of us, but put into perspective, it is the power of inner growth that is inherent in everything that exists. I think the term individuation by Jung refers to it in a way that wants to show that there is something alive that is constantly going on in and around us. We come close to what it is in our sense of being the same despite the constant development of our consciousness relative to that of a timeless inner context. We experience that we perceive more of our psychic flow in our inner environment, and we become more aware of this in relation to other beings in a much larger context. Both to people and animals, and to nature as a whole. We discover that it is a force inherent not only in us but in everything. We learn that that process is going on all around us. All the time. Everything is a relation to this background force. It has always been there, and it has been formulated in various ways by our psychic reflection since the dawn of man. We can also use the Finnish reference henki for it, or whatever is used around us as long as it gives us the relationship we need to it for its energy and power, for what it compels us to do in relation to everything in our interior which in its various parts gives us our experience of life as a living whole. If we deviate from it, or become distracted in a way that makes us no longer listen to it, then we experience anxiety. Everything feels pointless. We are no longer involved. The Sami word for that power is Rádienáhttje. And that is why our parents need to direct us to our intersubjective couple that we otherwise mix up with our physical parents. Máttaráhkká and Máttaráttje is the Sami names for the ancestor couple that prepares us for what this psychic content have in store for us.

we live in the mind as an envelope, a thinking substance of an inner reflection of the opposite sex

What I encounter in myself and around me has a lot in common with my 6-year-old grandson. He constantly confuses actual numerical values ​​and facts with emotionally experienced psychic magnitudes and their meanings. In the same way that we blend reality with the overarching and grandiose values of political, intellectual and ideological considerations. The reality of life is making a choice, and facing decisions where most of them are not based on what that reality is, but on how it resembles what we want it to be, or paint it so that we are humbly forced to realize how little our beliefs and ideals affect it. We turn the reality of the world we are in into our own personal psychic wholeness with ideas, feelings and perceptions based on a neglected view of what our senses is related to in ourselves. The world is mind and we transform it when we interact with its within in the without. But to ignore it, or not apprehend it is to act as my grandson. Which is wonderful when you are a six year old child, but creates confusing consequences for an adult person and for the world in which that person acts, since we do not really consider the inside of the world. Its within in the without. The influence our nature have on us independently of what kind of hero attitude our ego has to our interior, and its belief of itself as being the one omnipotency there. It establishes what it is but not where it comes from in our external environment. And enough is enough of that. The rest is just more of the same.

the act of accepting the psychic energy, will, or authority of that which is other within us.

There is a certain couple within us, in sami Maderattje and Madderakka which represents the ancestral couple of psychic life. They are the ones that conveys the structure that is beyond the individual mind. In a best case scenario they are transferred to us by our parents, and not their need to be confirmed by them. As it then get painfully distorted in them by their victim ego. Which only clogs up our relationship to the guidance we constantly receive from the intersubjective background of psychic life as a sense of wholeness and discrimination of Rádienáhttje by Radiengieddte. Maderattje in turn is closely connected to Radiengieddte, the herald or messenger of Rádienáhttje, in the same way as Maderakka is related to the psychic reflection and the renderings of Radien/Saivo-niejta, embodied in Rádienáhkká. They are our inner opposites, a union of the sexes, separated but still connected to the same energy since they are the ones who relate us to a life beyond the characteristics of the ego. They also have specific qualities that defines the process we struggle with, which the ego alone cannot bring us. It is here our ancestral couple comes into play. They bring with them what they have carried all the time. The structure or settings that constituted the waý of Radiengieddte and Saivo-niejta. The companion of the ego and the reflection of the within in the without. Because without the host couple, Maderattje and Madderakka at hand, we become confused and stuck in roles and attitudes of the opposites that our victim ego’s experiences will use to conspire for us. Which undermines our inner conversation. We never discover how our nature relate others to the within in us, what they are in their without as our within. Without attending to the journey we must embark on as we get exposed to Uksakka, Sarakka and Juksakka, we get stucked in the ego. Because among the many things emerging in this process, life is our confrontation with the energy and powers inherent in our meeting with them. And Sarakka’s importance here, the cleavage woman, cannot be overstated.

we live an interior life of external circumstances

The soul is one because she is an embodiment and gives flashes of insight and judgment. In relationships, she therefore takes a female form in me. He is many because her reflection is negotiated as parts of a psychic substance, and a whole that gives meaning to the flow of nature in its constant depiction of the inner in the outer. In this sense, femininity is materialized for me as an embodiment, or as a woman. And psychic life as parts of a whole, an energy consisting of many forms and transformed by masculine discrimination, by men. A constant discordant process of opposites in the life of the mind. Where, in the lack of a negotiator, which is us, we become victims to the violent influence our senses can have on us. As victims of them we then take it out on one of our internal psychic opposites, or its products. In reality by the concepts we create and our victim-ego conspires for us in these interior dynamics. Without having any psychic images for the impact of these forces on us, we simply give way to them. We turn ourselves into victims, and we try to circumvent them through the victim roles we create at the same time we blame each other for their existence. They are our internal psychic couple living their life in our physical reality. In Sami, their relationship to us are Rádienáhkká and Rádienáhttje.

place is consciousness, a mindscape

It’s like I’m not born here at a certain place in time, but into certain frames or pockets of the mind. A world which main substance is our senses. I think this is what is meant by listening to the wind. To really be in nature. To relate to our perceptions and not let ourselves become victims to how we imagine them. Every buddhist know what I mean.

the external influence my psychic world has on me, is determined by your victim ego’s

If we take on the victim role which make us victims in our relationships, either bodily – physical or in a material sense, or in that something we also transfer onto others as our psychic reflection, then we will never discover a kind of inner reality or psychic entity that historically has been called soul. Its female qualities or its counterpart, the activity of reflection or presence of beingness, in history called spirit. The “soul” part of us, which without us really being able to control it is constantly transferred to the opposite sex. What we separate out from us in the victim role in our own sex, we also transfer in the same way, but to a counterpart of our own gender. We discover the roles we disguised ourselves in to hide our victimhood. But beyond them the differences between us in the transference of our psychic reflection suddenly appear in a renewed way in our relationships. We suddenly have to choose how that transfer will take place. In which way we prefer to bridge our differences, both physically and psychically in our relation to our selves. So we dress them up in a context that can be accepted by others, outside of the victim role to express our relationship to our inner reality on terms common to all. Something that our victim ego can never accept, and that the victim role of others constantly tries to drag us out of and into.
To both my surprise and dismay, most of us seem to prefer to hide in the victimrole. Relationships are not both a physical and a psychical working reality. Or a mutual transference of spontaneous ideas and concepts, of sympathetic expressions of our instincts and feelings. Or a disciplined anger when we feel that someone is trying to provoke us into our victim ego. We seem to prefer living as victims. Politically, we do not do what must be done for others and for those who need it. Instead we make ourselves victims of other people’s opinions in a discordant version of us. From what we have separated out for ourselves. Our independent individuality does not include emotional dependencies, of genuine feelings and true closeness. One religion makes itself a victim of other psychic references and takes it out on it. We make ourselves victims of our bodies, our sexuality, our minds and how we transform psyke into life. Our own victimization creates the conspiratorial thought we transfer to an enemy of our own making, which creates sufferings in its limitation and abuse of others. We don’t do what is right, only what our victim-role dependency conspire us to do. Because we have excluded what the victim ego does not want to know about the role it plays in all our relationships. Both in our personal, intersubjective, and social life. We just prefer to be victims of the opposites of whatever personal conviction we are campaigning for. Because it creates a feeling of being invulnerable and inaccessible in our perfectionist view of ourselves and our ideals. As if it were something dangerous to be an empathetic person on several human levels.
For a long time in my life, I believed that the world was something that was only outside, not one layer of my inner personal connection to a reality of consciousness, where my interior was also a reality of other people in me, or that I was an influence on them in that reality which lied beyond the within in me in them, and that I somehow also was the others within me in theirs without. That we influenced each other there.
I was wrong then. My own victim-ego reveals that to me.

a blueprint behind our potential unfolding

In old Sami it was a matter of Sarakka, the inner female figure who presented people with their psychic body, which was associated not only with our inner birth, but she was also the one who set us up with our inner guide. A separate greater personality with pre-configured characteristics. Not to be confused with our inner companion Raediengiedte and his mediator of psychic content, Saivo-niejta. This guide has a kind of psychic teaching. A context he himself is a part of that he leads us through. Something that is displayed by him in a kind of predetermined inner psychic setting. And in this sense it is not personal, but part of a larger coherent whole. The Sámi experience of Sarakka, that is, our inner woman of cleavage, gets a greater depth through this, which also connects her not only with our second birth but with soul migration as well, and with our individual psychic origin. With the teachings of saivo, with jabme-aimo and the source of the place we experience as our shared inner relationship to that which lies beyond the ego. And with those ancestors who constantly influence us from there. Sarakka takes us where we need to be by fragmentation.

a personal reality in disguise

If we cannot have a personal exchange with others from the within in the without, between those we have within us, the heraldry of Raediengiedte and the psychic reflection and expression of Radien-niejta/Saivo-niejta, and their counterparts in others as well, then we replace that relationship with artificial means. With temporary roles and attitudes that we have learned to use to bridge the loss of not being able to feel authenticity in what we do, and in our relationships with people around us. We feel disconnected, by not being able to be in, or express the genuineness of the reciprocity between us in this psychic wholeness that we are connected to, conceptualised in Rádienáhttje and embodied by Rádienáhkká in old Sami references to psychic life. Which is what our inner companion and his or her’s counterpart there bring about to us. We reduce our interior with the same limitations that our surroundings have on themselves as if they were our own. We can sense it all around us. We may even get corrected if we reject the inhuman one-sidedness that is the required behavior by such a reductive view on us. Both in ours and their need to uphold the attitude we have created with our false identities or personalities. They are a kind of makeshift characters we regresses to from the person we are, to circumvent the discomfort that follows from our outward attitude. Of not being able to spend time with ourselves and share that with others. But here, Nature always come to support and heal us if we are open enough to let it in.

the experienced division between nature and culture

Time is a little different to me now from what I acknowledged before. Because in a psychic sense, we experience it both as something which is perceived as yesterday, today, and a tomorrow, a present future which is contained in a wholeness beyond the ego. A flow of energy, thoughts, ideas, images and feelings inside a cosmic whole of a psychic stream, where the within of life originates. Which is also from where I put my being in relation to time. But in an external sense it is also connected with the sun, the moon, day and night, practical things and seasons. It is from the behind of these things that I recognize that everything proceeds into this life. Time in this sense is a continuation of that, where we connect with it, and what we go through in its interior sense of a without. Like when we die, someone else is also born from that same source. We are all that source, a wholeness our inner companion Raediengiedte and we as children sense, from which we arrive here. Everything we imagine is that without of the within. We all are that which appear to us from there. Which we repeat and constantly try to transform into something tangible. We try to catch the content of a psychic wind, in the old Sami conceptual world, Biegg olmai, which is why a shovel was sometimes used as a seite, to discover what it says to us, and from where it blows. He can be furious and stormy, cold and reproving. As well as warm and affirming. All dependent on our attitude. That is what I believe was what the old Sami concept of Rádienáhttje was referring to, and Rádienáhkká embodied. And a seite was as a point of intersection with him. Meahcci practices another, a constant recognition of its influence upon us, and to never forget the dependence we have on it in our relation to everything else.

in its proper time and place, like an object entirely new and yet awaited in the sky of life

If I recognize my inner companion from how he is experienced by me, as a herald or messenger, and how our connection affects me. So I have to accept his female counterpart as well. As she appears to me in the same way with similar characteristics. The difference is that she wears female attributes and appears in dual guises. One way is through psychic reflection, something I have to articulate and conceptualize apart from my physical instincts, the other with the raw power and sensitivity of our senses. She constantly challenges my inner companion, confronting him to make him able to meet her on the terms that our psychic flow conveys. Pictured as a wholeness in old sami traditions, this reality is conceptualized as Radienattje, and she as Radien-niejta/Saivo-niejta. The daughter of embodied psychic content, of presence, and interiority. The one who refer us to the greater impersonal body of life. Radienakka. Come to think of it, conversely, these processes may contain meaning for women too. But with Radien-neita as their subjective counterpart. Which in this interior sense will make opinions about gender quite redundant, because it is about acquiring a relationship to a wholeness in which both are a part as a content of its higher meaning.

the pictorial and symbolic mind of streaming thoughts

Psychic reflection conceptualize, and separate psyche from its components as a totality out of how that experience has been configured in a personal sense. But the personal impression in this sense is always a part of the absolute totality it refers to. Psyche pictured and conceptualized is an object or figure defining that whole of which it is a part. That wholeness is the Great grand Father. The sky, or Radienattje in the old Sami world of concepts. Whose notion is personally perceived by Raediengiedte, the inner companion and messenger. Psyche as a referral, the goings on, and its embodiment that also makes itself a component of the flow it processes is the Great grand Mother, the eternal return, the earth or Radienakka. Personally experienced as a counterpart to Raediengiedte in Radien-niejta/Saivo-niejta. Together they constitute a vessel that is everywhere. Both personal and impersonal. That inside of us that has always been experienced as the inside of the outside. Where the personal nature of our experiences, of our within, houses natural life as psychic life. Formulated by a timeless system of energy and power in itself, to make us grasp its greater continuity. We may believe that we are everything that appears in our mind, and go from there, and we can see it as psychic objects, as influences that come to us from beyond our ego, which is from where they spontaneously seem to originate independently of how we choose to conceptualize its content and energy.

we love to hate the messenger that are not our own

We are all constantly trying to find a value system that is greater than what our surroundings convey. A kind of inner cohesive whole in our person with values that go beyond the ego’s control. Beyond the collective voice that the ego transmits to us through the roles we use to hide our suppression of the truth that our inner person provides us with. Which is the voice of our individual conscience. The ego imagines that everything that appears in the psychic stream of energy in the form of ideas and concepts, such as thoughts, feelings, images in whose flow it is itself a part, is in some way itself the origin of what it is exposed to. It is absolutely certain that the psychic objects which appear in the psychic totality it is surrounded by, which were there before it was even able to perceive them, are something created by the ego itself. Although then, it must admit that the other ego’s who are also in this psychic stream that make up that whole, clearly cannot have created it too. Because in that case it would have to admit that they were all the origin of all other personalities. That someone else have created ones own.  No one would be their own unique person in themselves in the psychic whole that we perceive that we and everything else is a part of. This is what covertly happens in a veiled form, when we express our ideals behind the roles we play as we try to surpress that fact. With its morality, we hide behind what we think things should be rather than what they really are. Just think how little we let the other person’s opinion count for the sense of being in a larger coherent psychic whole. We constantly allow ourselves to be caught up in countless references to facts in order to somehow find a substitute for the voice we carry inside us all the time. We become politicians in our own cause, and we learn to loathe it in others by the constant internal conflicts it creates within us.

outside of the perfectionistic standards that makes us feel foolish

In the beginning, we are as permissive to ourselves as our surroundings allow us in their limitation of themselves, which is what creates a cohesive personality for them that will then constitute the circumscription that determines how we relate to our inner parental couple. In the symbolic language of the Sami, Maderattje and the psychic flow of consciousness he refer us to, embodied by our fathers, as the spontaneous thought that is our within in all of that which is in the without, and Maderakka, the mediating function our mothers have to the Great Mother, our physical communion with nature of which we are a part that is experienced through her. For our own sake, as we develop our inner person towards them we will do almost anything to get around that first restriction of ourselves, to find that background our inner parent figures convey to us. Which many of our biological parents, for various reasons, learned to protect themselves from by formalized collective behavior. But it also means that we learn not to listen to the voice of our individual conscience. So we end up in a world of opposites. Where we, through our ego roles, try to find a personally composed whole. We make ourselves important, authoritative, know-it-alls, excessively caring and try to become irreplaceable, even martyrs in the artificial personalities we create for ourselves. All because we, with our relation to the inner person, in Sami Radien-giedde and Radien-neita, seek real and genuine relationships with both people around us, our physical connection to earth, and with the inner figures that formulates the psychic reference that is the basis for how we relate to each other. Something our false, or substitute ego related personalities cannot achieve for us. Instead, it makes us feel ashamed of what feels authentic to us, and a sense of being wrong to allow ourselves to be driven in part by the forces acting on us in the flow of the constant psychic energy that surrounds us and in which we live all the time. We are really capable of doing almost anything to recreate that all-encompassing sense of primal affirmation that we experienced from everyone at the beginning of our early relationships with the outside world. If we don’t succeed, because we mix the person within with a substitute without in a material sense. We fall back into the roles we have developed as a compensation for our original inner connection, and we then conflate our intersubjective relationships with the behaviors and attitudes we created in our adaptation to them.

the stressed and overworked psychic dance of collective life

We can really share the experience of that creativity and independence Radien-Neita radiates with women, she who we associate with the female inner person developing as a second part of ourselves, together with the feeling of the spacy embrace of nature, the embodied earth in Rahdienakka, the Great Mother, who are brutally disposed of by a distorted and sadistic perception of what Maderattje and our personal relation to the impulse of psychic reflection, and spontaneously obtained knowledge is in Rahdienattje. Imparted to us by Radien-giedde, our inner herald or masculine messenger. The distorsion of them often leads to an external life situation where we compulsively get overworked to exhaustion, and personally try to awake their favors in partners, coworkers and friends we feel to be totally absent in a psychic sense; we fantasize to be needed, valued and rewarded by them, and could not therefore, give up the enslavement this implies. Instead, our relations to them are sought omnipotently to redeem ourselves from the image we have put on our fathers as Maderattje, and in the same way as we have done before, we try to redeem our fathers from this image as sons and daughters. We do it in the same way that we once tried to reach our parents by differentiating between them and our inner parental figures, and what they convey to us. We unknowingly try to do the same thing over and over again in our personal life until we acknowledge the ulterior psychic structure to which they refer us. It is the intersubjective forms of energy making their inner workings a reality. What Maderattje do. But mixed up with people around us.

dissolving the union between the person and the situation

Psychic participation occurs to me when I know I am making realities out of concepts. When I admit that my conceptualizing is nothing but my imagination, and products of my feelings or of my intellect. When these abstractions or analogies are not supported by any physical phenomena. When the person and the situation are not inseparable but two separate things and I accept the fact that we are all references to an objective experience beyond that, out of which we make the intangible tangible. That there are timeless events influencing us from beyond space and time whose properties are recognized only by how they are transformed into matter. In the essence of our abstraction where their origins are experienced as an embodied power of intensity. Mediated to us by the person we are in the within, behind the without. This is how I come to sound when I get rid of all the symbolic impressions I have that formulates me and my inner world. When nothing remains of the living conditions that my psyche pictures for me. Which makes me part of it as it creates meaning. Its sounds good but it doesn’t contain anything. Just words. Because I am also something else. Something between the person and the situation. Something that the character behind my words use as a compromise to a one-sided collective mind of a society, as a bridge for me to itself. And to others like me.

to find our sense of guilt in half of what we see of ourselves in others

The most common way to attend to our within in the without, the symbolic person, our ovdasas or out-of-body experience, its immaterial presence, and the psychic and emotional reference we have to ourselves and others, is to covertly express our relationship to it through some form of socially accepted behavior. Although this collective’s behavior may go against our personal structure of psychic life, our moral principles as human beings and completely neglect the care of others and those who need it most. It is still something we do to satisfy our need for a relationship with the other within us for a greater cause or for an ideal. By believing that opposites disappear through righteousness and not through the morality that arises in relation to our inner person. We try to hide the fact that we have lost what we are between us and ourselves by trying with our anguished need of ourselves to regain the relationship we have with that which lies beyond the ego by force through others. Which breaks and splits us up. Some of us in there is driven mad by neglecting this relation. By its persistent and violent attempts to draw our attention to itself. Others become evil. This is what makes it so painful to come to terms with. That some of us have commited themselves to be ignorant of its influence on us, and make people follow them as their example. As if they did not have their own relationship to their own inner being. This evil is part of what we are. We can’t pretend it isn’t there to make it go away. Our indifference just pass it on to others to sort it out for us. It is something that those who have fallen for it, and those who take advantage of it, must find out for themselves by the hell of contradictions and opposites. Or by the hands of those who have had the strength within them to stand up to its assault on our mind. Not by those who pretend that the intersubjective object of our psychic reflection does not exist.

the earth and mind as body is at the heart of all existence

When I am thinking of those around me they are part of that flow of the mind that I am part of as they are thinking of me, or that place within the without, where that part of me coexist with them. This is Saivo and Japmeaimo in Sami, and it implies to me that we are all part of a psychic and emotional flow which we are contained in together also with those who came before us. They are living enteties that affect us from there all the time, our inner psychic reference together with other’s. But also our Grand mothers, Grand fathers, Greatgrand fathers and Greatgrand mothers, and so on further back, way beyond my historical recollection of people. They are all there. Both living and dead. Recognised or not, they are there. But there are also objective psychic influences that has always been there too. Which has influenced my ancestors in a way that leads to how I have come to relate to them. And if we dont pay attention to that we tend to repeat ourselves. Which we also do if we make them a sacrament instead of respecting them in our living relation to their influence on us. I think this is one of the greatest misconceptions we have of ourselves. When we deny ourselves the reality of our psychic and emotional references in relation to each other and to Nature, the living mind of the earth around us. To be with others between us and ourselves too.

Of course I can also use more technical and academic terms like, the unconscious and the personal unconscious and so on, but a strictly scientific mindset, focusing on the actual in a material sense only, tends to exclude the personal experiences I have of myself in an objective sense. They do not go well with, and do not describe my impressions. I would have to exclude the psychic and emotional references I have behind them. To what they consist of. I trust the many grand theorists who are so well suited to do that sort of thing, I’m just not one of them. I was made in a different way.

the symbiotical illusion of our habitual demandingness and arrogance

When our psychic identity or intersubjective personality has been forced to take care of our parents’ expectations that arose in relation to the visualization they have of their inner figure, we have to create artificial abilities for ourselves to replace the relation we have to our own in order to be able to cover and live up to their psychic reflection and mask our own to meet that character. In young adults it turns into a distorted perception of the connection we have to the symbolic person as a bodily vessel for our own experiences, and later in life we become conscious about this when we don’t feel authentic in relation to ourselves, and in the discomfort this confusion creates in our relationships. Especially in our early relationships since it is our developing outer reflection of an inner fact. Behind it is our repressed symbolic vessel, the embodied figure that is our connection to our body-self identity. But in a distorted form of psychic reflection and emotional needs, that by compensation demands to be served by others in quite an arrogant and greedy form of an unvoiced assumption, where other people around us have to compensate for our submission to their collective needs. As a kind of imperious justice for its service to the collective to which we have conformed ourselves. For which our parents abandoned their reality of psychic reflection. Which also means that we early on learn to communicate with ourselves through others and divide our world into opposites, between us and them, and divide that into good and bad. Instead of affirming the psychic root we share not only with others, but with all life as part of how it unfolds, by us participating in the conversation with its interior. We let others dictate our relationship to ourselves. To the other we have inside. We turn into lackeys and become dangerous to others because we are no longer related to our human form. We have no personal connection to what we are. We can shape ourselves to be politically correct, into leaders at different levels, or we can follow them in their deeds. But the relationship we have between us is ultimately determined by our relationship with the one we have within us, our inner doppelganger. Without it we feel disconnected from the interior person, or out of body experience of our self. This kind of double of which we are an extension. Often blaming others for our common distortion of the connection we have between us and ourselves, and its relation to what it means to us in relation to the within in the without. It is by acknowledging this reality within us that we have to realize that the world is at least partially evil. I think much of the materialistic mind, it’s arrogance and its greed that we encounter both in ourselves and in people around us in our societies today have its origins here. Regardless then of the fact that we constantly try to reconnect to the person we have within us through each other, and the unexpressed demandingness this creates between us. Today, we miss being introduced by someone to a psychic structure that allows us to maintain and develop the relationship we have with our inner person. This is why our aggressions often confuse the relationship we have between us and ourselves, with the one we have adapted to, that is, the one mediated by our collective’s need for its relationship to what we have lost in our inner conversation.

the encounter with interpersonal relationships

My sense of a body-self identity and integrity is both a real and a symbolic possession of my person, my symbolic person being a visualization in the form of an ovdasas, the Sami interior person or out of body experience of our self. A kind of double or inner interlocutor, of which I am a representative. Someone we approach and assimilate through psychic and symbolic reflection. Omit the symbolic reflection and we lose the vessel for our being. Something that is experienced as a psychic weight by our surroundings because we tend to lose our integrity and place the inner person in everything around us without realizing that we are doing it. If I do not pay attention to him, he appears as an unspoken desire or as a palpable visualisation, a requiring without expression that is obvious to everyone else but me. He then begins to act independently of me and on my behalf. Without me being fully aware of his deeds. Which some of them always are because he is also the forerunner of the whole and transfers its influence to us from itself through him. But apart from that he is also the one we intersubjectively share with others. He is that within us that is placed between us and ourselves. Without him there is no us, and transferred as a demand, as something we use to replace what he is to someone else, there is no I. We would live an undeveloped emotional and symbolic relationship with nature and with those around us. This is where the whirlwind of guilt, blame and anxiety creates psychic imbalances that makes us go crazy comes from. Where we get dragged into the underworld of insecurity and psychic sufferings. To Ruotta-aimo. Also, we cannot just throw people into it, as if it will somehow take care of itself. Or leave young people to face it alone without being made aware of the mutual consequences that encounter has for them. It will just be incredibly confusing, and sensed as a desolate and remote place, a nothingness, which will just make them feel deserted. We need an introduction based on our own experiences to the references that arise in our personal symbolic vessel, for what emerges there. Because if we are not ready for it, or if it is forced, we cannot receive the impressions our senses and emotions convey to us. They become too powerful for us and we cannot transform it into an emotional and symbolic encounter with Nature, the cosmic night, with animals, and other people.

we are what lives in everything, that keeps everything separate and yet together

We can try to live our lives by learning things by heart only and then exclusively work on having relations based on our understanding of the connections we have of  the things that we have learned. Obviously this will not work out well. Understanding without experiencing what it is that mutually affects us and make us interact with each other from behind the ego do not connect us to one another.  It is only half a life. We are constantly objects to the experience of our relationship to nature, to the one we have to earth, to darkness, the sky, the parent figures, the sun, the cosmic night, the constant return of everything, to people and the animals around us. Many of which we are directly connected. If we do not develop our personal relationship to this through how we experience those relationships, then we have no real contact with our physical existence as a vessel for our experiences. We have no personal relation to what they are. We can put them into words and we can say what we know about them. But we have not developed any relationship to the phenomenology of what is in there, between us and them. What it can mean for us to be in a context where our significance lies in how we are mutually affected by the psychological processes that arise there, powers that come into existence from beyond our rational control. One such raw power is what we experienced in guilt, blame and anxiety. Most people think they are of separate origin, but they are not, and we can find the consequences of that in our daily lives, in the world around us, since they arises from the relationship we have to to our senses. To what they convey to us. It is perhaps the most basic experience we have of our common pre-human past, and the forces that act on us from there. If ignored and is without a traditional reference of some kind.