The opposites of the ideas we verbalize create experiences through conflict. By endless repetition of its processes. Our mind becomes noisy because our relation to psychic space has been compromised and substituted by the externalization of its content as consciousness, and of the mind of society in a constant confusion between opposites, and that creates a tension within us since that primordial space in the individual mind constantly tries to make itself known to us, as serenity, apart from the opposites we experience as either a kind of flooding, an impatience, a disturbance of our limitation of the senses, or as the personal conflict we have with our conditioning and desires. We are no longer letting ourselves be related to, or observed by the space of our psychic totality because we resist its influence on us. We do not allow ourselves to be recipients of the full psychic experience of Nature as beings in its space. Something that is the world as mind, a consciousness in a space of its own stillness. Of the mind’s embodiment of our relation to life from where it originates. We are the silence of that Nature. A morning mist that sparkles with the sun’s first warming rays. A silent participation in the observation it makes of us as we receive its affection with inner joy and reverence. There we meet each other, or try to meet in the madhouse of the terrible mayhem that arises in all of our interior opposites. No relationship can handle this in the long run. We have to find our way out of this inside ourselves.
Yesterday, at dawn when everything around me in the forest lay still at rest, I suddenly realized my individual part of the world as spirit, a psychic body in its own right and its disjointed aspects of that content. Aware of my relationship to how that began to awaken with what it was beyond this. The source of the beyond of me as my relationship to the psyche as world, a consciousness in itself. Its constant stream of actual psychic content as it manifests in me, as thoughts and ideas, as of an unknown origin of energy and power which within me is transformed into soul, into a tangible experience as it spontaneously transforms itself through psychic reflection into matter and life. My experiences and the embodiment I make of this is my entire physical relationship to the world, and to the psychic person within me who conveys this to me as he constantly develops my relationship to him in that presence as consciousness. There are many ways to describe how we relate to ourselves. To not let my own awareness, to what I am included in get mixed up with what is beyond it as consciousness. I can physically feel my belonging to the forest around me there, to the table-lands. Its inherent power as a part of me. But without my references I wouldn’t be aware of it. Of how I was related to them. About my longing for them, and what effect the distortion of the world as mind has upon me, on how it perceives itself and wants me to be in relation to it. It is part of me and I am part of it. It is both me and not me. But we are not the same.
The only way we know how when we are young is that to mix up our psychic reflection with sexual attraction. We didn’t learn about it otherwise and it got mistaken as the force of life. So that became what we had for it. Our sexuality became a kind of pent up need for our inner reality. For what we needed, to be able to surrender to the forces of exaltation, euphoria and bliss that worked through us. We had nothing else because the psychic forces conveyed by our experiences could not contain impressions that deviated from, or threatened our habituated relationships and shared values. So sexuality became what made us allow ourselves to express what we experienced outside the social pressure. But its embrace only goes so far. Somewhere along the path of life, our psychic existence just have to separate itself from our sexual drive and start searching for a new direction by itself. Outside of our instincts but still very much aware of, and contained in our embodied existence. It is as if our psychic reflection was constantly accompanied by our instinctual urges. Maybe because we where not ready then, and maybe because the traditional outlet was not there. So that was how it found its way of expression since we are constantly thrown between these opposites within us. But if we don’t want to get bored out of our minds, we have to deviate from our previous attitude towards our selves and begin the transformation of our spontanaeous content and turn it into psychic reflection. Back to its primordial origin and to the powers behind our human behavior which lies beyond the control of our ego’s and the consciousness of the collectively governed mind. Otherwise, we are just ruining our lives as ignorant victims of the forces of our nature working on us from the inside out.
A mother who sacrifices her femininity for motherhood teaches her children that there is a mother in the inner parent couple who embodies the experience we have of our mental body, in its sense of a fundamental belonging, as being a physical part of the earth, and the power that comes from that relationship as a personal reality of the world as mind, and the mother in the woman. A father who does not sacrifice himself for the fatherhood disconnects his children from the whole which is both a source and an origin, a conscious discernment of the content the energy and raw power that masculinity conveys beyond the ego in an undifferentiated form of acting meaning in all of us. He does not teach his children that there is a fatherfigure within the inner parent couple that mediates the experience of the underlying psychic structure we are a part of within that which is the intersubjectivity of our temporal reality, and a father figure in every man. We become confused and disoriented within ourselves, and we seem to have no connection or nothing to do with the outside world with which we interact in our psychic reflection. Our inner parental figures are the ones who teach us about our belonging to each other and to nature, which in our outer life is the relationship we have to our inner reality. That’s why Maderattje and Madderakka and whatever their likes are in people around us are so important. We just know when they are missing. People become disconnected from Nature, extremely vulnerable, self-absorbed, heartless, insensitive and authoritarian, and victims of the confusion that arises in the dynamics between the parental couple they carry within themselves. Something we then will confuse with others and the world.
The life force may be just a word to many of us, but put into perspective, it is the power of inner growth that is inherent in everything that exists. I think the term individuation by Jung refers to it in a way that wants to show that there is something alive that is constantly going on in and around us. We come close to what it is in our sense of being the same despite the constant development of our consciousness relative to that of a timeless inner context. We experience that we perceive more of our psychic flow in our inner environment, and we become more aware of this in relation to other beings in a much larger context. Both to people and animals, and to nature as a whole. We discover that it is a force inherent not only in us but in everything. We learn that that process is going on all around us. All the time. Everything is a relation to this background force. It has always been there, and it has been formulated in various ways by our psychic reflection since the dawn of man. We can also use the Finnish reference henki for it, or whatever is used around us as long as it gives us the relationship we need to it for its energy and power, for what it compels us to do in relation to everything in our interior which in its various parts gives us our experience of life as a living whole. If we deviate from it, or become distracted in a way that makes us no longer listen to it, then we experience anxiety. Everything feels pointless. We are no longer involved. The Sami word for that power is Rádienáhttje. And that is why our parents need to direct us to our intersubjective couple that we otherwise mix up with our physical parents. Máttaráhkká and Máttaráttje is the Sami names for the ancestor couple that prepares us for what this psychic content have in store for us.
What I encounter in myself and around me has a lot in common with my 6-year-old grandson. He constantly confuses actual numerical values and facts with emotionally experienced psychic magnitudes and their meanings. In the same way that we blend reality with the overarching and grandiose values of political, intellectual and ideological considerations. The reality of life is making a choice, and facing decisions where most of them are not based on what that reality is, but on how it resembles what we want it to be, or paint it so that we are humbly forced to realize how little our beliefs and ideals affect it. We turn the reality of the world we are in into our own personal psychic wholeness with ideas, feelings and perceptions based on a neglected view of what our senses is related to in ourselves. The world is mind and we transform it when we interact with its within in the without. But to ignore it, or not apprehend it is to act as my grandson. Which is wonderful when you are a six year old child, but creates confusing consequences for an adult person and for the world in which that person acts, since we do not really consider the inside of the world. Its within in the without. The influence our nature have on us independently of what kind of hero attitude our ego has to our interior, and its belief of itself as being the one omnipotency there. It establishes what it is but not where it comes from in our external environment. And enough is enough of that. The rest is just more of the same.
There is a certain couple within us, in sami Maderattje and Madderakka which represents the ancestral couple of psychic life. They are the ones that conveys the structure that is beyond the individual mind. In a best case scenario they are transferred to us by our parents, and not their need to be confirmed by them. As it then get painfully distorted in them by their victim ego. Which only clogs up our relationship to the guidance we constantly receive from the intersubjective background of psychic life as a sense of wholeness and discrimination of Rádienáhttje by Radiengieddte. Maderattje in turn is closely connected to Radiengieddte, the herald or messenger of Rádienáhttje, in the same way as Maderakka is related to the psychic reflection and the renderings of Radien/Saivo-niejta, embodied in Rádienáhkká. They are our inner opposites, a union of the sexes, separated but still connected to the same energy since they are the ones who relate us to a life beyond the characteristics of the ego. They also have specific qualities that defines the process we struggle with, which the ego alone cannot bring us. It is here our ancestral couple comes into play. They bring with them what they have carried all the time. The structure or settings that constituted the waý of Radiengieddte and Saivo-niejta. The companion of the ego and the reflection of the within in the without. Because without the host couple, Maderattje and Madderakka at hand, we become confused and stuck in roles and attitudes of the opposites that our victim ego’s experiences will use to conspire for us. Which undermines our inner conversation. We never discover how our nature relate others to the within in us, what they are in their without as our within. Without attending to the journey we must embark on as we get exposed to Uksakka, Sarakka and Juksakka, we get stucked in the ego. Because among the many things emerging in this process, life is our confrontation with the energy and powers inherent in our meeting with them. And Sarakka’s importance here, the cleavage woman, cannot be overstated.
The soul is one because she is an embodiment and gives flashes of insight and judgment. In relationships, she therefore takes a female form in me. He is many because her reflection is negotiated as parts of a psychic substance, and a whole that gives meaning to the flow of nature in its constant depiction of the inner in the outer. In this sense, femininity is materialized for me as an embodiment, or as a woman. And psychic life as parts of a whole, an energy consisting of many forms and transformed by masculine discrimination, by men. A constant discordant process of opposites in the life of the mind. Where, in the lack of a negotiator, which is us, we become victims to the violent influence our senses can have on us. As victims of them we then take it out on one of our internal psychic opposites, or its products. In reality by the concepts we create and our victim-ego conspires for us in these interior dynamics. Without having any psychic images for the impact of these forces on us, we simply give way to them. We turn ourselves into victims, and we try to circumvent them through the victim roles we create at the same time we blame each other for their existence. They are our internal psychic couple living their life in our physical reality. In Sami, their relationship to us are Rádienáhkká and Rádienáhttje.
It’s like I’m not born here at a certain place in time, but into certain frames or pockets of the mind. A world which main substance is our senses. I think this is what is meant by listening to the wind. To really be in nature. To relate to our perceptions and not let ourselves become victims to how we imagine them. Every buddhist know what I mean.
If we take on the victim role which make us victims in our relationships, either bodily – physical or in a material sense, or in that something we also transfer onto others as our psychic reflection, then we will never discover a kind of inner reality or psychic entity that historically has been called soul. Its female qualities or its counterpart, the activity of reflection or presence of beingness, in history called spirit. The “soul” part of us, which without us really being able to control it is constantly transferred to the opposite sex. What we separate out from us in the victim role in our own sex, we also transfer in the same way, but to a counterpart of our own gender. We discover the roles we disguised ourselves in to hide our victimhood. But beyond them the differences between us in the transference of our psychic reflection suddenly appear in a renewed way in our relationships. We suddenly have to choose how that transfer will take place. In which way we prefer to bridge our differences, both physically and psychically in our relation to our selves. So we dress them up in a context that can be accepted by others, outside of the victim role to express our relationship to our inner reality on terms common to all. Something that our victim ego can never accept, and that the victim role of others constantly tries to drag us out of and into.
To both my surprise and dismay, most of us seem to prefer to hide in the victimrole. Relationships are not both a physical and a psychical working reality. Or a mutual transference of spontaneous ideas and concepts, of sympathetic expressions of our instincts and feelings. Or a disciplined anger when we feel that someone is trying to provoke us into our victim ego. We seem to prefer living as victims. Politically, we do not do what must be done for others and for those who need it. Instead we make ourselves victims of other people’s opinions in a discordant version of us. From what we have separated out for ourselves. Our independent individuality does not include emotional dependencies, of genuine feelings and true closeness. One religion makes itself a victim of other psychic references and takes it out on it. We make ourselves victims of our bodies, our sexuality, our minds and how we transform psyke into life. Our own victimization creates the conspiratorial thought we transfer to an enemy of our own making, which creates sufferings in its limitation and abuse of others. We don’t do what is right, only what our victim-role dependency conspire us to do. Because we have excluded what the victim ego does not want to know about the role it plays in all our relationships. Both in our personal, intersubjective, and social life. We just prefer to be victims of the opposites of whatever personal conviction we are campaigning for. Because it creates a feeling of being invulnerable and inaccessible in our perfectionist view of ourselves and our ideals. As if it were something dangerous to be an empathetic person on several human levels.
For a long time in my life, I believed that the world was something that was only outside, not one layer of my inner personal connection to a reality of consciousness, where my interior was also a reality of other people in me, or that I was an influence on them in that reality which lied beyond the within in me in them, and that I somehow also was the others within me in theirs without. That we influenced each other there.
I was wrong then. My own victim-ego reveals that to me.
In old Sami it was a matter of Sarakka, the inner female figure who presented people with their psychic body, which was associated not only with our inner birth, but she was also the one who set us up with our inner guide. A separate greater personality with pre-configured characteristics. Not to be confused with our inner companion Raediengiedte and his mediator of psychic content, Saivo-niejta. This guide has a kind of psychic teaching. A context he himself is a part of that he leads us through. Something that is displayed by him in a kind of predetermined inner psychic setting. And in this sense it is not personal, but part of a larger coherent whole. The Sámi experience of Sarakka, that is, our inner woman of cleavage, gets a greater depth through this, which also connects her not only with our second birth but with soul migration as well, and with our individual psychic origin. With the teachings of saivo, with jabme-aimo and the source of the place we experience as our shared inner relationship to that which lies beyond the ego. And with those ancestors who constantly influence us from there. Sarakka takes us where we need to be by fragmentation.
If we cannot have a personal exchange with others from the within in the without, between those we have within us, the heraldry of Raediengiedte and the psychic reflection and expression of Radien-niejta/Saivo-niejta, and their counterparts in others as well, then we replace that relationship with artificial means. With temporary roles and attitudes that we have learned to use to bridge the loss of not being able to feel authenticity in what we do, and in our relationships with people around us. We feel disconnected, by not being able to be in, or express the genuineness of the reciprocity between us in this psychic wholeness that we are connected to, conceptualised in Rádienáhttje and embodied by Rádienáhkká in old Sami references to psychic life. Which is what our inner companion and his or her’s counterpart there bring about to us. We reduce our interior with the same limitations that our surroundings have on themselves as if they were our own. We can sense it all around us. We may even get corrected if we reject the inhuman one-sidedness that is the required behavior by such a reductive view on us. Both in ours and their need to uphold the attitude we have created with our false identities or personalities. They are a kind of makeshift characters we regresses to from the person we are, to circumvent the discomfort that follows from our outward attitude. Of not being able to spend time with ourselves and share that with others. But here, Nature always come to support and heal us if we are open enough to let it in.
Time is a little different to me now from what I acknowledged before. Because in a psychic sense, we experience it both as something which is perceived as yesterday, today, and a tomorrow, a present future which is contained in a wholeness beyond the ego. A flow of energy, thoughts, ideas, images and feelings inside a cosmic whole of a psychic stream, where the within of life originates. Which is also from where I put my being in relation to time. But in an external sense it is also connected with the sun, the moon, day and night, practical things and seasons. It is from the behind of these things that I recognize that everything proceeds into this life. Time in this sense is a continuation of that, where we connect with it, and what we go through in its interior sense of a without. Like when we die, someone else is also born from that same source. We are all that source, a wholeness our inner companion Raediengiedte and we as children sense, from which we arrive here. Everything we imagine is that without of the within. We all are that which appear to us from there. Which we repeat and constantly try to transform into something tangible. We try to catch the content of a psychic wind, in the old Sami conceptual world, Biegg olmai, which is why a shovel was sometimes used as a seite, to discover what it says to us, and from where it blows. He can be furious and stormy, cold and reproving. As well as warm and affirming. All dependent on our attitude. That is what I believe was what the old Sami concept of Rádienáhttje was referring to, and Rádienáhkká embodied. And a seite was as a point of intersection with him. Meahcci practices another, a constant recognition of its influence upon us, and to never forget the dependence we have on it in our relation to everything else.
If I recognize my inner companion from how he is experienced by me, as a herald or messenger, and how our connection affects me. So I have to accept his female counterpart as well. As she appears to me in the same way with similar characteristics. The difference is that she wears female attributes and appears in dual guises. One way is through psychic reflection, something I have to articulate and conceptualize apart from my physical instincts, the other with the raw power and sensitivity of our senses. She constantly challenges my inner companion, confronting him to make him able to meet her on the terms that our psychic flow conveys. Pictured as a wholeness in old sami traditions, this reality is conceptualized as Radienattje, and she as Radien-niejta/Saivo-niejta. The daughter of embodied psychic content, of presence, and interiority. The one who refer us to the greater impersonal body of life. Radienakka. Come to think of it, conversely, these processes may contain meaning for women too. But with Radien-neita as their subjective counterpart. Which in this interior sense will make opinions about gender quite redundant, because it is about acquiring a relationship to a wholeness in which both are a part as a content of its higher meaning.
Psychic reflection conceptualize, and separate psyche from its components as a totality out of how that experience has been configured in a personal sense. But the personal impression in this sense is always a part of the absolute totality it refers to. Psyche pictured and conceptualized is an object or figure defining that whole of which it is a part. That wholeness is the Great grand Father. The sky, or Radienattje in the old Sami world of concepts. Whose notion is personally perceived by Raediengiedte, the inner companion and messenger. Psyche as a referral, the goings on, and its embodiment that also makes itself a component of the flow it processes is the Great grand Mother, the eternal return, the earth or Radienakka. Personally experienced as a counterpart to Raediengiedte in Radien-niejta/Saivo-niejta. Together they constitute a vessel that is everywhere. Both personal and impersonal. That inside of us that has always been experienced as the inside of the outside. Where the personal nature of our experiences, of our within, houses natural life as psychic life. Formulated by a timeless system of energy and power in itself, to make us grasp its greater continuity. We may believe that we are everything that appears in our mind, and go from there, and we can see it as psychic objects, as influences that come to us from beyond our ego, which is from where they spontaneously seem to originate independently of how we choose to conceptualize its content and energy.
We are all constantly trying to find a value system that is greater than what our surroundings convey. A kind of inner cohesive whole in our person with values that go beyond the ego’s control. Beyond the collective voice that the ego transmits to us through the roles we use to hide our suppression of the truth that our inner person provides us with. Which is the voice of our individual conscience. The ego imagines that everything that appears in the psychic stream of energy in the form of ideas and concepts, such as thoughts, feelings, images in whose flow it is itself a part, is in some way itself the origin of what it is exposed to. It is absolutely certain that the psychic objects which appear in the psychic totality it is surrounded by, which were there before it was even able to perceive them, are something created by the ego itself. Although then, it must admit that the other ego’s who are also in this psychic stream that make up that whole, clearly cannot have created it too. Because in that case it would have to admit that they were all the origin of all other personalities. That someone else have created ones own. No one would be their own unique person in themselves in the psychic whole that we perceive that we and everything else is a part of. This is what covertly happens in a veiled form, when we express our ideals behind the roles we play as we try to surpress that fact. With its morality, we hide behind what we think things should be rather than what they really are. Just think how little we let the other person’s opinion count for the sense of being in a larger coherent psychic whole. We constantly allow ourselves to be caught up in countless references to facts in order to somehow find a substitute for the voice we carry inside us all the time. We become politicians in our own cause, and we learn to loathe it in others by the constant internal conflicts it creates within us.
In the beginning, we are as permissive to ourselves as our surroundings allow us in their limitation of themselves, which is what creates a cohesive personality for them that will then constitute the circumscription that determines how we relate to our inner parental couple. In the symbolic language of the Sami, Maderattje and the psychic flow of consciousness he refer us to, embodied by our fathers, as the spontaneous thought that is our within in all of that which is in the without, and Maderakka, the mediating function our mothers have to the Great Mother, our physical communion with nature of which we are a part that is experienced through her. For our own sake, as we develop our inner person towards them we will do almost anything to get around that first restriction of ourselves, to find that background our inner parent figures convey to us. Which many of our biological parents, for various reasons, learned to protect themselves from by formalized collective behavior. But it also means that we learn not to listen to the voice of our individual conscience. So we end up in a world of opposites. Where we, through our ego roles, try to find a personally composed whole. We make ourselves important, authoritative, know-it-alls, excessively caring and try to become irreplaceable, even martyrs in the artificial personalities we create for ourselves. All because we, with our relation to the inner person, in Sami Radien-giedde and Radien-neita, seek real and genuine relationships with both people around us, our physical connection to earth, and with the inner figures that formulates the psychic reference that is the basis for how we relate to each other. Something our false, or substitute ego related personalities cannot achieve for us. Instead, it makes us feel ashamed of what feels authentic to us, and a sense of being wrong to allow ourselves to be driven in part by the forces acting on us in the flow of the constant psychic energy that surrounds us and in which we live all the time. We are really capable of doing almost anything to recreate that all-encompassing sense of primal affirmation that we experienced from everyone at the beginning of our early relationships with the outside world. If we don’t succeed, because we mix the person within with a substitute without in a material sense. We fall back into the roles we have developed as a compensation for our original inner connection, and we then conflate our intersubjective relationships with the behaviors and attitudes we created in our adaptation to them.
We can really share the experience of that creativity and independence Radien-Neita radiates with women, she who we associate with the female inner person developing as a second part of ourselves, together with the feeling of the spacy embrace of nature, the embodied earth in Rahdienakka, the Great Mother, who are brutally disposed of by a distorted and sadistic perception of what Maderattje and our personal relation to the impulse of psychic reflection, and spontaneously obtained knowledge is in Rahdienattje. Imparted to us by Radien-giedde, our inner herald or masculine messenger. The distorsion of them often leads to an external life situation where we compulsively get overworked to exhaustion, and personally try to awake their favors in partners, coworkers and friends we feel to be totally absent in a psychic sense; we fantasize to be needed, valued and rewarded by them, and could not therefore, give up the enslavement this implies. Instead, our relations to them are sought omnipotently to redeem ourselves from the image we have put on our fathers as Maderattje, and in the same way as we have done before, we try to redeem our fathers from this image as sons and daughters. We do it in the same way that we once tried to reach our parents by differentiating between them and our inner parental figures, and what they convey to us. We unknowingly try to do the same thing over and over again in our personal life until we acknowledge the ulterior psychic structure to which they refer us. It is the intersubjective forms of energy making their inner workings a reality. What Maderattje do. But mixed up with people around us.
Psychic participation occurs to me when I know I am making realities out of concepts. When I admit that my conceptualizing is nothing but my imagination, and products of my feelings or of my intellect. When these abstractions or analogies are not supported by any physical phenomena. When the person and the situation are not inseparable but two separate things and I accept the fact that we are all references to an objective experience beyond that, out of which we make the intangible tangible. That there are timeless events influencing us from beyond space and time whose properties are recognized only by how they are transformed into matter. In the essence of our abstraction where their origins are experienced as an embodied power of intensity. Mediated to us by the person we are in the within, behind the without. This is how I come to sound when I get rid of all the symbolic impressions I have that formulates me and my inner world. When nothing remains of the living conditions that my psyche pictures for me. Which makes me part of it as it creates meaning. Its sounds good but it doesn’t contain anything. Just words. Because I am also something else. Something between the person and the situation. Something that the character behind my words use as a compromise to a one-sided collective mind of a society, as a bridge for me to itself. And to others like me.
The most common way to attend to our within in the without, the symbolic person, our ovdasas or out-of-body experience, its immaterial presence, and the psychic and emotional reference we have to ourselves and others, is to covertly express our relationship to it through some form of socially accepted behavior. Although this collective’s behavior may go against our personal structure of psychic life, our moral principles as human beings and completely neglect the care of others and those who need it most. It is still something we do to satisfy our need for a relationship with the other within us for a greater cause or for an ideal. By believing that opposites disappear through righteousness and not through the morality that arises in relation to our inner person. We try to hide the fact that we have lost what we are between us and ourselves by trying with our anguished need of ourselves to regain the relationship we have with that which lies beyond the ego by force through others. Which breaks and splits us up. Some of us in there is driven mad by neglecting this relation. By its persistent and violent attempts to draw our attention to itself. Others become evil. This is what makes it so painful to come to terms with. That some of us have commited themselves to be ignorant of its influence on us, and make people follow them as their example. As if they did not have their own relationship to their own inner being. This evil is part of what we are. We can’t pretend it isn’t there to make it go away. Our indifference just pass it on to others to sort it out for us. It is something that those who have fallen for it, and those who take advantage of it, must find out for themselves by the hell of contradictions and opposites. Or by the hands of those who have had the strength within them to stand up to its assault on our mind. Not by those who pretend that the intersubjective object of our psychic reflection does not exist.
When I am thinking of those around me they are part of that flow of the mind that I am part of as they are thinking of me, or that place within the without, where that part of me coexist with them. This is Saivo and Japmeaimo in Sami, and it implies to me that we are all part of a psychic and emotional flow which we are contained in together also with those who came before us. They are living enteties that affect us from there all the time, our inner psychic reference together with other’s. But also our Grand mothers, Grand fathers, Greatgrand fathers and Greatgrand mothers, and so on further back, way beyond my historical recollection of people. They are all there. Both living and dead. Recognised or not, they are there. But there are also objective psychic influences that has always been there too. Which has influenced my ancestors in a way that leads to how I have come to relate to them. And if we dont pay attention to that we tend to repeat ourselves. Which we also do if we make them a sacrament instead of respecting them in our living relation to their influence on us. I think this is one of the greatest misconceptions we have of ourselves. When we deny ourselves the reality of our psychic and emotional references in relation to each other and to Nature, the living mind of the earth around us. To be with others between us and ourselves too.
Of course I can also use more technical and academic terms like, the unconscious and the personal unconscious and so on, but a strictly scientific mindset, focusing on the actual in a material sense only, tends to exclude the personal experiences I have of myself in an objective sense. They do not go well with, and do not describe my impressions. I would have to exclude the psychic and emotional references I have behind them. To what they consist of. I trust the many grand theorists who are so well suited to do that sort of thing, I’m just not one of them. I was made in a different way.
The intense scent of lady’s bedstaw is felt everywhere as summer begins to break into autumn.
When our psychic identity or intersubjective personality has been forced to take care of our parents’ expectations that arose in relation to the visualization they have of their inner figure, we have to create artificial abilities for ourselves to replace the relation we have to our own in order to be able to cover and live up to their psychic reflection and mask our own to meet that character. In young adults it turns into a distorted perception of the connection we have to the symbolic person as a bodily vessel for our own experiences, and later in life we become conscious about this when we don’t feel authentic in relation to ourselves, and in the discomfort this confusion creates in our relationships. Especially in our early relationships since it is our developing outer reflection of an inner fact. Behind it is our repressed symbolic vessel, the embodied figure that is our connection to our body-self identity. But in a distorted form of psychic reflection and emotional needs, that by compensation demands to be served by others in quite an arrogant and greedy form of an unvoiced assumption, where other people around us have to compensate for our submission to their collective needs. As a kind of imperious justice for its service to the collective to which we have conformed ourselves. For which our parents abandoned their reality of psychic reflection. Which also means that we early on learn to communicate with ourselves through others and divide our world into opposites, between us and them, and divide that into good and bad. Instead of affirming the psychic root we share not only with others, but with all life as part of how it unfolds, by us participating in the conversation with its interior. We let others dictate our relationship to ourselves. To the other we have inside. We turn into lackeys and become dangerous to others because we are no longer related to our human form. We have no personal connection to what we are. We can shape ourselves to be politically correct, into leaders at different levels, or we can follow them in their deeds. But the relationship we have between us is ultimately determined by our relationship with the one we have within us, our inner doppelganger. Without it we feel disconnected from the interior person, or out of body experience of our self. This kind of double of which we are an extension. Often blaming others for our common distortion of the connection we have between us and ourselves, and its relation to what it means to us in relation to the within in the without. It is by acknowledging this reality within us that we have to realize that the world is at least partially evil. I think much of the materialistic mind, it’s arrogance and its greed that we encounter both in ourselves and in people around us in our societies today have its origins here. Regardless then of the fact that we constantly try to reconnect to the person we have within us through each other, and the unexpressed demandingness this creates between us. Today, we miss being introduced by someone to a psychic structure that allows us to maintain and develop the relationship we have with our inner person. This is why our aggressions often confuse the relationship we have between us and ourselves, with the one we have adapted to, that is, the one mediated by our collective’s need for its relationship to what we have lost in our inner conversation.
My sense of a body-self identity and integrity is both a real and a symbolic possession of my person, my symbolic person being a visualization in the form of an ovdasas, the Sami interior person or out of body experience of our self. A kind of double or inner interlocutor, of which I am a representative. Someone we approach and assimilate through psychic and symbolic reflection. Omit the symbolic reflection and we lose the vessel for our being. Something that is experienced as a psychic weight by our surroundings because we tend to lose our integrity and place the inner person in everything around us without realizing that we are doing it. If I do not pay attention to him, he appears as an unspoken desire or as a palpable visualisation, a requiring without expression that is obvious to everyone else but me. He then begins to act independently of me and on my behalf. Without me being fully aware of his deeds. Which some of them always are because he is also the forerunner of the whole and transfers its influence to us from itself through him. But apart from that he is also the one we intersubjectively share with others. He is that within us that is placed between us and ourselves. Without him there is no us, and transferred as a demand, as something we use to replace what he is to someone else, there is no I. We would live an undeveloped emotional and symbolic relationship with nature and with those around us. This is where the whirlwind of guilt, blame and anxiety creates psychic imbalances that makes us go crazy comes from. Where we get dragged into the underworld of insecurity and psychic sufferings. To Ruotta-aimo. Also, we cannot just throw people into it, as if it will somehow take care of itself. Or leave young people to face it alone without being made aware of the mutual consequences that encounter has for them. It will just be incredibly confusing, and sensed as a desolate and remote place, a nothingness, which will just make them feel deserted. We need an introduction based on our own experiences to the references that arise in our personal symbolic vessel, for what emerges there. Because if we are not ready for it, or if it is forced, we cannot receive the impressions our senses and emotions convey to us. They become too powerful for us and we cannot transform it into an emotional and symbolic encounter with Nature, the cosmic night, with animals, and other people.
We can try to live our lives by learning things by heart only and then exclusively work on having relations based on our understanding of the connections we have of the things that we have learned. Obviously this will not work out well. Understanding without experiencing what it is that mutually affects us and make us interact with each other from behind the ego do not connect us to one another. It is only half a life. We are constantly objects to the experience of our relationship to nature, to the one we have to earth, to darkness, the sky, the parent figures, the sun, the cosmic night, the constant return of everything, to people and the animals around us. Many of which we are directly connected. If we do not develop our personal relationship to this through how we experience those relationships, then we have no real contact with our physical existence as a vessel for our experiences. We have no personal relation to what they are. We can put them into words and we can say what we know about them. But we have not developed any relationship to the phenomenology of what is in there, between us and them. What it can mean for us to be in a context where our significance lies in how we are mutually affected by the psychological processes that arise there, powers that come into existence from beyond our rational control. One such raw power is what we experienced in guilt, blame and anxiety. Most people think they are of separate origin, but they are not, and we can find the consequences of that in our daily lives, in the world around us, since they arises from the relationship we have to to our senses. To what they convey to us. It is perhaps the most basic experience we have of our common pre-human past, and the forces that act on us from there. If ignored and is without a traditional reference of some kind.
The feeling of being a victim, which makes us cling to role playing, to act on our gameface, and sacrifice us in the encounter we have with the one within us who is giving us the violent feeling of guilt and anxiety also experienced as blame, when he comes from others’ relationship to him in our psychic reality, has a purpose. That purpose is that he makes us individually reconciling, so that we can enter into a social psychological context with others without losing our integrity or ignoring them. It affects us all as a completely independent psychic phenomenon, and that means that we should not submit to accusations that come from others’ ignorance of him as fools and turn ourselves into innocent lambs. He is a psychic force and affects us in a way that prevents us from going beyond our selves, or stop listening to the raw powers that influence us, which express our natural impulses and “personal” psychic qualities. If we don’t, we will immediately experience his immense influence which, when he becomes present in this way, is sensed as anxiety. As long as we are true to ourselves, he is just close. But if we turn ourselves into lambs or become passively aggressive, that is, not recognizing and making the objective psyche count, we can trust that he will flood us with the full power of what guilt and anxiety means, as he immediately brings us into his field of influence. The atonement is in acknowledging his existence. Pay attention to, and continue our inner conversation with him. He supports us when we are spontaneous and express ourselves genuinely on our own personal terms. He kind of leads us to those within us who make us express the qualities we have there, and pay attention to what their potency means to us. In Sami his name is Ruotta. His kingdom is Ruotta-aimo. With him, everyone who does not listen ends up in darkness and violent anxiety and pain. Which happens when we ignore our psychic reflection, and does not respect his role and immediate psychic presence. We can choose to characterize it as mere anxiety, but it will tells us nothing about what it is we experience. Or how we can respond to the carrying feeling we have of being a victim of its power, since we are facing something that is far more powerful than the ego. Denying it does not change that relationship. Or any clinical description thereof. Nor to aggressively assert our independence because it is just something that makes us immune to what we really feel and insensitive to more authentic human relationships. Our feeling of being excluded from our mental context only intensifies. As does self-medication with alcohol and drugs, or the use of psychotropic drugs. None of this will make him disappear either. We can only let him be and reconcile ourselves to the idea that there are forces acting on us in this way, and they are much more powerful than we are, and it is not up to us to act in their place. But by acknowledging his influence on us. By having an open mind, and having an inner conversation with him, we are reconciled to its power, and we can allow ourselves to be inspired by him. To unleash our spontaneity on our own terms, and let the raw forces that operate within us lead us. It may sound like an easy thing to say, but to be part of and go through it is something completely different, in reality these are really quite violent and hellish psychic trials.
We are all part of the whole that our psychic person grows out of with our active participation. Each of us is a personal expression of it, and our relationship to it reflects a unique experience of what it is. How we relate to it also reflects our relationship with it in others. To nature and to how we let its influence in our conversation with it show us the way. If we allow ourselves to relate to it. Most often, based on what is of general and recognized value, and on cultural norms, we live in a one-sided approach to ourselves where we have learned to ignore this part of us, and we do not allow ourselves to have a living intersubjective relationship to it with our environment. Which make us lack a basic affiliation with life. Over time, this shortening of ourselves that we simultaneously create in others, will grow into a conflict. Either because we ourselves provoke it, or because it arises as a defence to the reaction our own one-sidedness extort in people around us. In any case, the absence of the psychic reflection we need throws us out of the wholeness we are all a unique expression of and descend from, and it creates an incredible pain and anxiety in those who want to come to terms with it as they try to endure it. This is what the Sami saivo doctrine is about. About the reverence for the whole within us that we reciprocally share with everything else. All the time. The most obvious thing about our psychic reflection is how distorted our inner conversation has become. According to an older way of thinking, it was a conversation with an ancestor in his presence to the living. A kind of psychic inner resurrection and support for the qualities that characterized him or her that were awakened to assist a contemporary need. Today we generally just describe them as different personal traits. But not what the urge is to be what they are.
For as long as I can remember, I have been fascinated by Orion’s belt. Since it always points to the sunrise those stars were the most obvious ones for me to refer to. Polaris and its axis was a given because of Christmas and Midsummer’s Eve. The polar night and the midnight sun. It has always been related to creation, to consciousness as a separation, and existence itself. Of corporeal belonging. But Orion’s belt was also up there, I registered it in the evenings, nights and early mornings without really thinking anything further about it. So one night it struck me after I pointed out its significance for my grandson. They are the ailekes-olmak, the three Sami celestial beings who always herald the sun, the arrival of light. Out of respect for them, for what they were, in traditional time they were noticed for three days, ending with Sunday, the day of the sun. In this way, the sun, the light, the light of consciousness were connected with warmth, energy, spontaneously obtained understanding, and the constantly recurring flow of life in a way that makes us feel directly involved in it. It was never about the composition of the stars. About the details of the sun and the photosynthesis. Just about day and night. About psychic sleep, and it’s relation to our living conditions. We know through them when the great darkness dissipates, when the return of the light and the world emerges from the unknown. From the great bottomless depths of the cosmic night. Something that city life, artificial climate, street lighting, sidewalks and paved roads obscure for us. We tend to forget the connection we have to the fact that the night sky orbits the North Star axis*, as much as we orbit the sun, that the sun moves to its highest and lowest position over the course of a year. That is, the winter and summer solstice. It is the sun that creates our light in the cosmic night. In the vast space of the unknown and in our unconscious sleep. The celestial objects we can see in the bottomless depths from which everything arises also point to patterns that have practical consequences for us if we consciously pay attention to them. Consciousness is our dawn, the light our psychic reflection creates from the impact it have on us. Without the sun, we would be eternally engulfed by the cosmic night. To psychic sleep. That is why we are the people of the sun.
My grandson expressed this in a child’s unconditional way when we talked about the night sky last winter, when we where lying in the snow and I asked him about what he thought was out there? ” -Everything I do not know”, was his immediate and lightning fast answer.
*Where I come from, the north of Sweden.
There is a kind of open conflict within us between the collective voice and the directions we get and refer to from within. On the one hand, they arise in our inner parent figures because when they are seen through our physical parents, they are characterized by how they mediated the collective approach they had to life. But behind them is also our raw psychic reality. Its messages as they are supplied to us individually beyond the ego, and which is what creates the perceptions that somehow already exist within us. They are also the transpersonal experiences we have of the powers that we relate to beyond them. When it arises from our dichotomy and opens us up to an intersubjective and complementary approach to the collective mindset, we also see that our parent figures lead us beyond this to a deeper understanding of the psychic processes we are involved in. And to the background of which they are a part that in itself determines the structure our parents where also trying to come to terms with. Through this we get a different way of relating to life as a whole in contrast to the fragmentation a one-sided collective relates to. For some reason, much older traditional and animistic motifs spontaneously appear here in both our dreams, in our imaginations and daily visions. All of which both transforms, and renews our way of looking at the life in which we are involved. In Sami, these parent figures who connects us beyond our physical parents are called Maderattje and Maderakka.
Having a connection between us and ourselves also means having a sense of morality. Not as a word or a concept, or an intellectual thing. Its the raw experience of it. Either you have it or you don’t. Indigenous peoples still in contact with their traditions knows exactly what I am referring to. When we are young adults we come to a psychic crossroad where we have to develop double standards for our psychic equilibrium. We have to come to terms with what we sense is morally right and with our victim-ego as a by-product of our society if we somehow want to align to it. Because coming from the victim-ego is all kinds of resistance to the supression of our connection between us and our selves together with our parental related rebellion as a split occurs in our connection between them and our inner parent figures. If we succumb to it, there is also psychic illness, substance abuse and alcoholism. Some people just can’t cope with giving up on this relation to the within in the without. And they won’t take position against it from the point of view of the superego and suppress the relationship they have to this psychic space. Because it also means that we have to ignore being affected by what we have suffered when we are exposed to it from people around us. Which in turn inhibits the receptivity of our senses to Nature and human relationships. We may seize brief moments of this connection as a kind of temporary relief when we choose side for those who do to others what has also been done to us. By doing what they do, it can almost make us accept ourselves. So we hide our own shame and guilt of what is done to us in other people by no longer listening to what is going on between us and ourselves. Instead, we defend our victim ego by joining the attacks on others who must endure this psychological abuse in a vengeful way. Above all we may notice it in our society in how little people are able to let the other man’s argument count.
It is easy to abandon the relationship we have between us and ourselves for opinions that make us feel that we belong to something. But it is something which without us noticing it will also be what evict us out of our reality and separate us from the connection we have within us to our own psychic reality and the figures we meet there. Which is also the ones that make us feel authentic. By taking side against our own connection between us and ourself we try to become aligned with the generally accepted morality and customs. By choosing side against the discourse within us, with the general alignment of opinion, we may imagine that we do belong to something, even if it is the side that distorts our original impressions, just to reconcile ourselves with the psychic abuse we have been and are subjected to. We even begin to say and do things that we do not agree with. “They put me up to it”, “I did what everyone else did”, I just followed the party line”, “Its the way “it” works”. Parts that stand for the whole becomes our standard. But we go along with it anyway because we no longer have a personal relation to our own voice. We have chosen to join the attitude that once was the one that pushed us out of our own relation to ourselves. An attitude that made us feel ashamed of listening to what the feeling of being authentic was saying to us, of what it’s relation to our life meant. So it is easy to begin to have an attitude towards nature and people that is not personal. It is just an opinion that is part of the belonging we have attached us to, since we have lost our connection to what we are. We may also feel guilty for having abandon it, and we defend this attitude to avoid the shame this has created within us. Many of us dont even know that a personal relation to both people and to people as part of a society is one and the same thing. Instead we treat them like the separation it is to us, as a conviction apart from our connection between us and ourselves, as something that defend us from the shame our guilt of abandoning ourselves have put us in.
When we experience our second birth and Uksakka shows up as our sense of a threshold, as a psychic atmosphere we can touch that surrounds us, we also meet Sarakka. She who conveys our inner division and make us experience our inner person, the human being we develop within us, together with Radien-gieddte and Radien-neita. She brings the psychic essence of all beings to Maderakka to be embodied by her. Because all people were considered to be girls until Juksakka took upon her to discerned the psychic quality that was the separating force in us. Juksakka was responsible for separating Maderakka, the primordial woman from the physical mother and make her visible to us. Along with our counter-sexual qualities that her power violently forced us to face and develop. The meeting with her made the psychological demands that turns boys into men, and girls into women. She also reveals the psychic form of influence Maderattje has on us by our fathers, because Maderattje introduce us to the relationship we have to an even greater inspirational background of life. To Radien-attje, who appears as an ordering field from where all the primordial forms of energy of all beings are kept. Something that Radien-akka embodied in a sense of the greater whole of Maderakka as the mother of all physical life. To be part of this kind of experience which seems to arise in our minds out of nothing, as the content that is the within in the without, and is our psychological reflection beyond the ego, is to go through a call from life to a maturation process as old as life itself. If we do not meet with it, it will appear to us only as a distant feeling of a lost perfect wholeness. A longing for something else, and the experience that once made such a strong impression on us in our childhood. Something we will look for everywhere. In things and people around us, as part of material knowledge, something which is not to be found there, but as a relationship to life itself. If we persist, we just make an endless repetition of it. Something we constantly have to get out of.
Contrary to what many believes Jabmeakka is not some queen of the dead. She is part of a duality as the dark aspect of Maderakka. Dark in this sense means that she is more of a caretaker of those living or dead who is in the eternal psychic sleep. It is Radien-giedte’s role, like a companion to her in this relation, together with the dual aspect of Radien-neita/Saivo-neita to bring us out of Jabmeaimo, out of this psychic sleep. Away from the company of the dead to be brought back to the world of the living. This dual aspect of Radien-neita/Saivo-neita contains both the emerging or unborn potential of life and the life of those who for various reasons have ended up in Jabmeaimo. This is very much like a kind of re-establishment of the connection we have between us and our selves. Of psychic reflection. It brings us back to earth. To Maderakka and to our relation to a greater whole in Radien-akka as an ongoing relationship between us and our deepest and most authentic experiences. If we replace the Sami words with contemporary terms from analytical psychology, it will be the same processes but with different names. The experience is the same, but how we choose to refer to them when we share that reality differs both in relation to where we are, and when we do it in time. Each time has its own way of choosing how we should look at the relationship we have to our psychic reflection.
Two things happen for sure if we are not aware of the relationship we have between us and ourselves. Between Radien-gieddte/Radien-neita and Rádienáhttje. Because we will replace it with what our collective places there instead. With what is of general and recognized value. Not with what this connection means to us personally. We will either take the side of this outside influence against what occurs spontaneously within us and deny us the relationship we must have that connects us to ourselves. Or, we will take sides for everything, which like us, suffers from being forced to submit to the psychic violence it entails when we or someone else force ourselves in between the other, and the connection it already has to itself. We become constant opponents of all kinds of psychological abuse and injustice, or righteous advocates of the social behavior our culture surrounds us with. Everyone in this situation will suffer enormously and feel limited by guilt from all around them. From the loss of this relationship to our inner self. Because we have no connection to what it is to us. We become psychologically lost in ourselves and suffer from the raw powers of our psychic nature. We end up in Jabme-aimo or even Ruohtta-aimo if we live in complete denial since we do not know how to come to terms with them by ourselves. Instead we let other suffer them for us by uninhibited letting them loose. We cannot stand being alone together with others with what we are in that relation that we share with everything else in this world. Which is implied as there are so few who are there who can share that relationship with us in an authentic way. We try to refer to its content as individuals in order to deal with what lies beyond the world of the ego, of which the ego is still a part, but it is made more difficult by the fact that we stand in the way of ourselves, of our own psychic reflection, and its initiating dualism that we are overwhelmed by. This also explains the either or reasoning we constantly encounter around us that also makes it very clear to us how little we are able to let the other person’s argument count. In his or her’s relation to him or herself. Which in turn creates the feeling of constantly being put in opposition instead of being confidently acknowledged in our relation to ourselves. It is the naive and automatic assumption that inner and outer reality are one and the same and that there is no psychological reflection in between.
When we celebrate the upcoming midsummer eve or the summer solstice, I was once asked what was the point of the midsummer pole. I think it’s forgotten but the midsummer pole is what unites the earth with the sky. The inside with the outside. The psyche with the world. It is a reference to the imaginary psychic axis that holds up and enables the light of consciousness to enter into us by the separation of the two. Not only that, it is the center of the world around us that is everywhere, and during the summer solstice, when daylight is at its longest, what we celebrate is the wholeness that surrounds us, supported by its center, at its highest point of the year. There can be no active mirroring connecting us to what we are in the absence of this relation. Also, at this time the earth is most fertile and produces the most. Which is what this relation is about. We honor the sustaining forces behind all life, its riches and the directions given to us by this relation. The constant return of everything that comes from this is celebrated by dressing the pole which keep everything up with leaves and flowers so that we do not forget how important it is to us. Where we come from. We celebrate this union, and the light of the sun as our connection to the earth and its circles of life. It is a connection to that we have within us that is not only part of ourselves, it is the within in the without. Without it, there is no psychological reflection, we simply do not exist in a psychological sense.
Radien-gieddte and Radien-neita is the one’s we are listening to who is negotiating our connection to a greater whole. He is the inner companion we turn to for psychic reflection. She relates us to it. Without this relation we have no true self-assertion. No protection against being exploited by our surroundings. If we have no conscious relation to him or his relation to the within and Rádienáhkká, the within in the physical without, we are made helpless. Because we are being turned into a figure who’s role will be to satisfy the standards and ideals of those around us, of the culture they transmitt to us. Not the connection we need for our own beingness. This will make us feel bound by everything and everyone around us, and that will become our identity. Something we experience as a kind of constant guilt for the repressed relation we have to the one we have within us. For the assertive instinct and sense of integrity he possesses which our guilt suppresses for us. But it is impossible to live up to someone else’s idealized version of the conversation they must have with their inner person. That will only leave us open to become colonised by people who knows nothing about what it is to be psychologically human, which is being done with a distorted relationship to personal integrity and our instinctive need of closeness. Some of us have such a broken relationship to what he or she is that they even believe that this junction within us does not even exist. They feel questioned when their collective views and ideals require personal considerations, and their instinctive anger and frustration is always present and breaks obsessively through when their rigid and fixed standards are met by spontaneity or psychic independence. Give voice to an alternative view, make a reference to psychic reflections of another kind and it becomes very clear to us how we suppress that intersubjective relation we have to what is beyond our collective ego’s. We become completely rotten, phony and dishonest, some of us truly evil, but we pretend it’s raining.
If we give in to the standardized way of looking at ourselves and abandon our inner voice, Rádienáhttje, the psychic reflection that regulates our inner balance and gives us guidance, we become the victim we must answer for by constantly accepting psychic gifts of reconciliation from the collective morality we submit ourselves to. No matter how hard we try, we will never wash ourselves clean of its guilt, of the feeling of shame we experience from having abandoned our inner whole. Before our eyes, people around us will constantly remind us of this guilt since so many have to pay the price for our collective deeds. They will always be affected by the sufferings, injustice, violence and horrors that different social groups expose them to individually if we choose not to listen to the voice of our individual conscience. The common morality of a society works in the same way because it rests on this individual sacrifice and the abandonment of Radiengiedte who negotiate this connection that we are incessantly trying to reconcile with.
In the deep psychic underground of Ruohtta-aimo, we are in the state where we deny ourselves or are denied the need for psychic reflection. We become an infection, a mental epidemic outside the whole that guides and regulates what is within the without, and we try to make others an image of what we think of ourselves in relation to the standards our cultural customs prescribes to us. We are not receptive to emotions, to their true origins. We are no longer sensitive to what they convey to us, or to the directions given to us from the outside of the ego. Our Nature has no place in the flow of our inner life. We lose touch with the intersubjective source of our renewal and decide for others what that relationship should look like. Not what it actually is. Everything that can not be fitted in to that relationship must either be questioned or rejected. We put our blame on others for what is our own rigid and fixed relationship to the perception of a larger whole and for how it provides us with instructions for the constant renewal of life. We are no longer open to the inner balance it conveys to us personally. Fragmented parts of our mind become substitutes for the whole. Our own voice will have no relation to the psychic flow for which we are an object. We are cut off from our participation with the nature that surrounds us. We end up in Ruohtta-aimo. Like ghosts in a dark and lifeless place, we are not alive and we are not dead, we have a form but no substance. It is the ultimate psychic suffering where we feel that there is no going back at all. We are no longer part of the recurring embodiment of psychic life.
Japme-aimo is psychic life. There, in what we call reflection. Where all psychic life is. At the same time a reference to reflection and to the objective experience of the world from within, personalized. It is the one that is the inside of the outside. The activity of mirroring. Without it, we are just cattle. It is the Nature as a relationship that we enter into everywhere. This means that Radien-neita/Saivo-neita merges with maderakka and Radien-akka appears in their place.
A dream I recently had relates to the Sami wind being, Biegolmai. For the spontaneous directions we cannot see. He blows interchangebly hard, hot and biting cold. But also with a whispering gentle breeze. He inspires, fertilizes and shakes everything. Or throws it around. At the same time, he also leads and shows us the way, then he is an instigator and creator. In being the self, Radien-attje’s right hand. But he also has a club to deal with if he is ignored instead of his usual wind shovel in his other hand. I think it was he who taught the Sami and everyone else in the mountains and table-lands to listen to the weather. To our inner wind. To listen to where it is blowing and is heading without judging it. He is also the one who drives the attitude of the Stallo away. Our delusions of grandeur. It has motives we can only discern by listening and following him, and showing our respect for his intentions, from wherever he meets us. If not, he will hammer us out of our minds with his club and torment us with headaches. That’s what I learned after my last dream.
When we live in the intensity that it means to face the energy, the authenticity and truth of the inner whole, and the failure we face around us to acknowledge it, we become like screaming prophets in the desert or noaidi’s who are accustomed to the experience of our inner wilderness. No one else wants to be there, but everyone is looking for it in one way or another. In spite of that, only a few can stand it. To find oneself in peace there without having any contact with people and human conditions for extended lengths of time. This is like a constant rebellion against the authenticity and truth that our surroundings repudiate. A kind of self-preservation far from the life our ego thinks it can control. It is a kind of meditation. An exercise in the enduring of the conditions that our psyche expose us to. This experience is everything. Words becomes shit. We become prophets for the genuine relationship to the wholeness and morality that is inherent in, and around everything. A kind of wilderness for mad men and women. Characterized by the powers we are struggling with. This is what happens when we cognitively end up outside our ego and experience the separate existence that is the subjective counterpart of our reflections. But without finding our own voice we cannot escape. We have to find a way to acknowledge its existence as an intersubjective reality. Or we perish from it. From this way of looking at it we have to start listening to our prophets. They are all around us. What all these “crazy” men and women reveal to us is that we also live in a connection to a wholeness outside of the ego, and the connection to it is broken. People who are struggling on the fringe of our ego controlled world are our modern day prophets. They live and suffer what we have lost in ourselves, and they pay for it with their minds.
Every one of us is in the center of a larger whole whose realization is its perimeter.
Fear of the dark is something everyone has experienced. Something that recently came up in conversation and made me think about it further. Fear of the dark does not mean that we are afraid of the dark, of its content. Nor can it be explained away by the fact that someone only has a vivid imagination. Fear of the dark is something else. It means that we are afraid of that within us we are not yet ready to face. What we cannot accept in ourselves of the spontaneous psychic activity we cannot recognize as having an independent relationship to us. We refer to it with something that may represent our fear. But most often it means that we do not yet have a point of reference within us, an inner person who can convey this content to the ego that makes us refer to what it means to us and to others there. We may even cast it out on someone, or something else. We become a plaigh, an epidemic. We end up in Rota-aimo. Or we may take it upon ourselves to carry it for people who do not recognize it in themselves. Either way, it is important to us. Without it we cannot pass beyond the ego. But if we reject it completely, we lose our authenticity. The relationship we have with the inner person that conveys what exists beyond the ego. Who is also the one who enables others through this to meet us there based on the authenticity they experience in themselves in their relationship to it. Outside of this, we find ourselves in a vicious circle where we repeat ourselves and constantly criticize everything and everyone for the confusion and insecurity we ourselves feel in the absence of the relationship it has to us. It may lead us to a kind of self-preservation and a diminishing of our reality that can have dire consequences in its ignorance of that in other people, in animals and in the experience of the mutual relationship we have with nature itself. It is a huge challenge for all people to face the diminution it entails of our person and the experiences of authenticity that it conveys in the societies we see around us today. Because it will question how genuine the relationship is to ourselves, to others and to how we can relate with it to the society we are in.
There is no doubt that there are places that inaugurate us to partake of their power and energy. These are places where these take place in us and communicate with us. We experience them in a different way. Historically, these are marked in different ways. In the mountain world, and in its table-lands, with what is called seidi’s. These forces are experienced in privacy and when we are not preoccupied with other distractions that make us unable to hear our inner conversation. When this occurs, we also begin to have an active conversation with ourselves in a way that is embraced and supported by the places that have this impact on us. Over time, this becomes natural. I’ve had it all my life. It also means that we have a need for privacy, of time both with ourselves and others to quietly let our inner voices meet others. To let it interact with the nature that surrounds us when it seeks us out. This is something that when suppressed strongly affects our psychic health. We are separated from a direct contact with ourselves and the communication we have with its source and the nature that surrounds it and provides for us. I live in a society with a culture that does not promote this. Which makes people absent in themselves and distorts how they view life around them. Many no longer see themselves as part of this important relationship, which in turn creates a circle where it encourages and creates the same relationship in others who are under their influence. We suffocate each other, and the more people who gather and distract each other, the more they lose this communication we have to our inner and outer source. It puts us in an intense tension to hang out with people who are so incoherent and bewildered in their inter-subjectivity. In the end, we call it normal, and we no longer know why we are not comfortable with the stillness we have in communicating with ourselves. In this way, some may give themselves the right to do to others what they themselves have been exposed to, and constantly tries to replace the inner voice of others with their own. Even against those who are still innocent in this sense, which may create an unhealthy and distorted form of justice in defense of our integrity.
In an old Sami tradition, we also exist in a relationship to a duality called radien-gieddte and radien-neita / saivo-neita. They were the mediating couple to the experience of a psychic whole and its constantly active flowing center of creation and creativity. But in an undifferentiated stage, or when we do not have a conscious relationship to our personality beyond the ego, we identifiy directly with what they convey, and through her we become self-absorbed, obsessed with our body-image. Her pride will really make us vain. Perhaps above all in our belief that what our senses offer is the same as our instincts. In this way though, she does not guide him to the all-pervasive source he naturally mediate. Also, as saivo-neita, she is the one who connects us to all life, human and non-human, to its spontaneous and common regularities, and to the world beyond the ego. She is the one who brings us closer to the animals, which makes us understand them as individuals in themselves, to the constant flow of relationships everyone has with everyone else there. Both living and dead. Undeveloped, our relations may instead become an end in itself. Hearings, gossip and rumors will then dominate our relationships. In the old Sami world this place was called Jabme-aimo. The underworld below this one and the world of a living psyche. Furthermore, when our self-image identifies with what radien-gieddte conveys, we become distracted, and capriciously preoccupied with everything he projects on us. We will lack a relationship to the background world and to the content our ideas have a reference to. The design that this psychic geometry of wholeness have on the spontaneous mind. But instead we make them a self-fulfilling purpose in themselves. Something the ego then personify as if it alone were the whole of our personality. Selected parts are then allowed to stand for the whole and we assume them to be something we imagine that we are. Our instincts and our ideas become almost indistinguishable from each other. We live in a state of the psychic whole we are identical with until we have undergone the inner trials that make us aware of them in connection to us, and theirs in their relationships to us independently. Both we and others who are in this undeveloped state with our inner duality will experience the relationship we have to ours and to others’ inner selves as if we are absent and distanced. We miss out on the relationships we are part of, and to an experience of a world we cannot share or recognize in others.
When we are in a meditative state, we train ourselves to be in the original whole that surrounds us, the one whose center is both within us and is the one that exists as a relationship to the embodied psychic space we are in. When we practice being in it, it trains us to be with it, and not to pass it on to others in an attempt to recreate it there. If we do that, it will only unite with others in such a way that it becomes a burden of the world as a personal problem that only crushes us or makes people around us feel inferior, and that creates a constant feeling of guilt around it because we may not see it as part of ourselves. So the connection we have to this sense of a whole is broken without our experience having anything to replace it with that allows us to maintain a psychic reference to it. It is the primordial insult we were once exposed to. It may once have been considered impermissible for people around us to openly relate to it, which in turn made us pass on our feelings of being offended to others, creating a vicious circle that in turn makes us see it as justified to insult and offend others. In various ways, however, we will try to recreate the psychic experience of the original whole in our relationships, which will expose those involved in them to tremendous strains, with expectations that are impossible for them to fulfill. The frustration that then builds up in them eventually causes them to explode from within, and the original insult and suffering is all that will remain in its ruins. But by allowing the whole to express itself as something we relate to on our own terms, as vulnerable as we come into this life, we help to free the world and our relationships from this frustration. We allow ourselves to rediscover our own voice, find it again, and recreate our conversation with the source that leads us from within that experience of being part of nature as a whole. We all share it, but how we refer to it is unique to everyone. It is in the state of this wholeness we experience ourselves in an embodied sense, a state that we mutually share with everything in our existence.
Thinking of a place, person or animal as a means of our own intentions and not as a means with its own dignity is an insult to them. A violation of the whole we are a part of that we ourselves have been exposed to and then pass on because we suppress it as impermissible. We do not allow us the reciprocity of the space we share with them. Something that will strike back at you. Dogs, horses, lakes, a glade in the woods, trees, mountains and table-lands, all kinds of wildlife, moose, wolves or bears – also have the power to anticipate your thoughts and intentions. We are composed of – and encounter relationships with a source that everything relates to, equipped with their own feelings of having this relationship. In this sense, all our actions, intentions and thoughts have moral dimensions which in turn means that they also have practical consequences to us. So everything we encounter is better understood as unfoldings rather than objects of our childish or psychologically naive intentions. This means that most of our actions and their intentions have nothing to do with interactions to insensate objects in a morally neutral empirical world. That has more to do with how disconnected we are from our senses. Rather, we participate in a world where what takes place is a mutual experience. We take place in it as it creates itself with us – or not.
Events in a psychic context are experiences of its facts. We refer to them by how we describe them. Facts do not describe them because facts are the experience we have and we refer to them through how we describe them. This is the closest we can get to them and share them with others. But how they appear in themselves is still not what they are because they are raw experiences. In that sense, they are universal and intersubjective. That is why, when we refer to them and use metaphors for them, we get closer not only to ourselves and other people but also to the world around us. Because every person essentially exists eternally in that place, which is also the space that is visualized as our greater totality. This eternal part of us existed there before the life of us as individuals begun, and it will continue to exist there when our life ends. The relation that part of us have with this greater totality is what develops within us as a self-image quite apart from that compromise we have set up to defend it from intrusion, that is, when our social contexts threatens our psychic integrity. What changes over time are our perceptions of what this is. Its influence on us, and how it direct us, has not changed since the dawn of man. So by scientificizing it, we refer to it in a rational and contemporary way. But the experience we carry within us has always been there. “mii gullo?”, [what do you hear?].
In order to face life as a human experience over time, we must also have a relationship to our birth and death since what we call life is our continuation of this. It also follows that in our lives we have a constant relationship to the experience of this origin, and because of us being alive, we share it with all other life. Without a living relationship to this, we do not really experience that we are alive. We cannot perceive that we as humans over our total life span as a species develop individually in relation to this experience. That each individual life is a continuation of this. That we are part of a development of what that is. Without this experience, we cannot meet there as human beings. We can only see ourselves as detached from our human context without any relation to the experience we have in common with everyone else. We may be told that we have a certain history, what we should be, that we are this and that, but without any real explanation to why we should rely on anything of that in particular, and in what sense it relates to us as humans, that lacks authenticity and meaning. Because it usually replaces our relationship to the experience we carry within us as a human race, and its relationship to the experience we have in common with it. Problems arise when our individual lives are a discontinuation from that experience, and we cannot continue that development in relation to our individuality. In this perspective of time, we can also see, with a few exceptions, that it is precisely this interruption that has happened to us and is still happening to us right now. We have lost the importance of being learned about this personal relation to what it is we carry within us which is what develop us into human beings. It is the place that is everywhere, both inside of us and outside of us, it is what always is all the time. Death in this sense becomes the experience of not knowing when we are going to wake up, and our birth the experience of not knowing when we fell asleep. But what that also means is that we dream all the time. Although we use words like we reflect on it, we think, feel, and fantasize instead. It is from that place that we are the human continuation of what we call life.
The realization of a psychic experience is always made personal by an individual, but the experience itself is not personal. The psychic revelations are personal to the one who makes them, but by explaining them we transform wordless psychic experiences into something specific, and in that context, when they are transformed, their existence as being intersubjective is revealed as they appear to us from a place beyond our ego. We then come to understand each other only by how we approximate our psychic experiences and how that existence affect on us is explained. That comparison becomes representations of what we experience. No one is right about them and everyone is wrong. It is quite strange, but regardless of how we want to express it, how we adapt psychically to our surroundings, it already exists beyond the personal level of the psyche both in form and meaning within us. It is in that sense that we are a part of everything. Because everything is in constant creation and transforms the wordless intersubjectivity beyond the ego into a context and embodiment of its content. Or we live in the materialism of the ego without participation in the life that has its own voice in all that is. Which in its absence and our sense of emptiness makes us hostile and destructive. We just approximate someone else’s experience as if it were our own and use that insight as an explanation of what it is without having had it ourselves. Or we disregard it altogether. But all we can do is affirm a psychic existence as something we try to comprehend that influences us beyond the ego.