changing woman and her son

Yesterday I came across this clip on Navaho traditional teachings. A link is provided below, and this is my impression of it.

We no longer fill Saivo with ancestors and descendants who own the knowledge that the Navajo has in their traditional teachings. People who can tell us about the psychic experience of “Changing woman” and the son, the monster killer who is the one she gave birth to to help us realize our relationship to what we feel and experience. Which makes it possible to formulate it as its own inner reality. The one who is going to make it possible for us to visualize what happens between us and what our experiences means to us. What that content will look like to us. He is not an outside person. Without the knowledge that arises in people as men who understand women, and as women who understand men we will remain unknown to ourselves. The monster killer is in fact the one who kills our identification with what we feel and experience, that which equates it with us in a way that makes us unable to differentiate between us and them. The forces that affect us before his birth will still be founded on the relationship we have with our primordial inner psychic parents. There is no “psychic” space there. No space of our own between what we experience and others. “Changing woman” has not yet appeared to us. I think the story of changing woman is wonderful.

Watch the Navaho Changing woman clip here »

within the heartbeat of our time

There is a place that surrounds us, that is centered everywhere. In sami it’s called Saivo. It is like a living extension to our mind beyond our ego’s. Most often we encounter it in nature, at special places that are sources of power. Places called a seite in Sami, or a hiisi in Finnish. We find them in the mountains or in the forest, or at a lake where we connect to the energies that affects us seemingly from all around us. They also mirror us from within and creates a kind of symbiosis between Nature and psyche. They are like an exterior stood for an entrance, a place where a contact to Saivo establishes itself. At these places we obtain another sense of ourselves, and a relation to a more complete body, Radien giedde, with which we can experience the world from within as a psychic phenomenon, and also encounter those who came before us with whom we must find a relationship in order to be able to meet the task we have been faced with. Something Saivo will confronts us with. Traditionally, what we meet is the Saivo-people, and they will give us our instructions. But our connection to their teachings have mostly been lost. Too few of us make the transition from being descendant’s to becoming ancestors. Which creates an inner confusion and psychic discomfort that makes us unable to see any difference between ourselves and others. Instead, it creates these grotesque giant like egos, or stallo’s. Big suddenly appearing movements, global companies and even countries that constantly see other individual ego’s unique relationships to Saivo as a threat that must be oppressed by them and their followers. To some extent, those who gives us guidance have almost disappeared and ended up in the background of an uninitiated incoherent noise, and a maze of incomprehension. Our ego’s functional relation to the energy of our helpers have to be recovered and understood in Jabme-aimo, a part of Saivo. They often behave as the earlier unresolved connections of relatives and people around us that we have to face again by ourselves in order for us to reconnect our’s and theirs lost connections to saivo, for both our own sake and the sake of others. That is one of our tasks. Another part of Saivo is Ruohtta-aimo. The nothingness, or non-existence. Ruohtta-aimo is the horrible torments that arise with oblivion, in our denial, or in the attitude we have towards Saivo both in ourselves and in our disrespect of other’s individual connection to it. In Ruohtta-aimo we face the anxious existence and mental infection we spread around us by the influence it has over us. In our denied sensuous involvement with living things, where the reciprocity of all energy has been blocked. We experience no relationship with our existence without this connection. So we have to mend that experience to people we know of there. Thats another task. If not, we become strangers to ourselves. Dumbed down, blocked out, and ignored. Dominated by objectification and stuck in the underworld. Today we most likely want to call Saivo’s living reality psyche. That we have trauma’s, neuroses and behavioral dissonances with unresolved conflicts within us that affect us from the unconscious. Dry and academically formulated but permissively open to individual experiences if given the opportunity. Behind them are motions that are unknown to us, that distort our imagination and disrupts our lives, and our relationships. As disgusting as it sounds, it is still good, because it’s just another way to describe experiences we have of the same kind, and it leads us to the task that seeks us.

another way of looking at femininity with the Sami Akka’s

When we experience our second birth and Uksakka shows up as our sense of a threshold, we also meet Sarakka. She who conveys our inner cleaveledge and make the experience of our inner person, radien-giedde visible to us. The first part of her name comes from the word saret which means to split and refers to a piece of firewood split at one end. She brings the essence of all beings to Maderakka to be embodied by her. Because all people were considered women until Juksakka discerned the psychic quality that was a separating force in us. Juksakka was responsible for making the primordial woman Maderakka, or Mother Earth, visible to us, along with our counter-sexual qualities that her power forced us to face. The relationship to the original celestial whole, Radien-attje then appeared from where all the primordial forms of energy of all beings are kept. Something that Maderakka embodied as all life. To be a part of this kind of experience, which seems to arise from our minds out of nothing, and as another content, an intermediary in our relationships, is to go through an initiation. A call from life to a maturation process as old as life itself. If we do not meet with them, Saivo will appear to us only as a distant lost perfect wholeness. Not as a relationship with the living cosmos.

our existence rests upon our sense of a threshold

In the Sami world of psychic experiences, there is a living thought of the doorwoman, Uksakka. She was connected to the earth, Mother Earth, and was responsible for the integrity of all who entered and left her world. The hut exemplified the balance she monitored, and the attention it is about. Whether we have access to it or not. She decided this by her will being noticed by the one who entered it. In this way, she was the one who guarded the threshold between the outer world, as it exists independent of us, and the inner metaphorical one, which creates our symbiosis with the outer one so that the transitions took place between them with respect. Uksakka also resembles the ancient Egyptian perception of this represented by Maat. She too, controlled everything that traveled over her doorstep. It was about balance, truth and the order of things. She was the platform on which everything rested and the balance between what we have within us and the Nature we are a part of. That respect was weighed by her against a feather. No access was given to anyone who, without her consent, tried to take his weight with him from our physical existence and transfer it without her permission. She demanded, just like Uksakka, that our symbiosis between them be obeyed without them mixing too lightly with each other. Because without paying attention to them, to their order and justice, chaos ensues, and we get stuck in the underworld. Without her, people are going crazy there. Every time we enter someone’s existence, whether it’s an animal or another person. His or her home. His or her essence. We cross a threshold. And this is what we need to pay attention to. Our world depends on it.

through birth and death back into a psychic essence, in perpetuity..

Originally posted August 25th but its meaning was actualized for me today again.

I have never really found myself in any way related to Buddhism in general. Nor to Tibetan Buddhism with its llamas. A very long time ago, I read Alexandra David-Néel, her stories and experiences during her travels in Tibet. I loved her adventures. But it never got me into Buddhism. It was too abstract, I had no experience I could dress with its teachings. I did not understand it. Because there was something else that was still dormant in me. I have long since forgotten her stories and looked with some skepticism at people who for various reasons became Buddhists because my experiences were never so abstract. But so today, out of nowhere, it dawned on me. I do not know for what reason. But suddenly I realized that my I-ness, ego, or bodily center in a world of matter, is what returns to our subjective person, to the psychic source of our being, who is the one who constantly returns to this world. It is that personality that is reborn. Our ego is created as its relation to the temporal and we develop our egos as parts of that in time. To establish this connection. It is truly a far-reaching idea that there are people who throughout their lives practice an approaching to our inner timeless personality in order to constantly develop it in its relationship to each return. Perhaps with the intention that it matures to such an extent, and becomes so aware of itself in us, that it experiences its own conscious presence in every human being regardless of time itself. Like it is moving in and out of time without loosing its knowledge about who it is in between every specific location it enters in time. This must really be the crown of the work of human achievement. And humanity at its best. To develop the recurring aspect of human consciousness that exists independently in every human being. Now I think I know something about the inner workings of Buddhism that make it a lot more accessible to me. Something that is also present in all indigenous peoples experiences of all living things. It is only expressed in other ways. This vision was about the essence of man. Of what we do or do not do with it. And how we relate to it. It handed me a different way of looking at the world. I think that the traditional Sami notion of Radien-attje and Radien-giedde is the equivalent of this kind of buddhist experience.

If I had to choose one aspect of Jung, one thing that made his view of the human mind, the whole person, and my inner self more accessible to me, it is this. I think this is what he meant by individuation.

the self-generative activity of Nature itself

The sami experience of our connection to the inner being, Radien-giedde, seems to be somewhat similar to the Kundalini experience of perusha on the threshold of anahata to visuhdda. Jung discribed it like this; “In anahata you behold the purusa, a small figure that is the divine self, namely, that which is not identical with mere causality, mere nature, a mere release of energy that runs down blindly with no purpose.” The concept of this energy resembles Henki in northern sweden, something that becomes more differentiated the more intensely we become exposed to it. A force of nature that unfolds as from within through this connection. It’s a feeling of a center in my chest. Of an inner subtle counterpart in a symbiotic relationship with nature. But with nature as Mother Nature rather than nature as something objective and beyond me. It is a physical relationship between me and my nature as an experience of a comprehensive whole. Since we are deeply connected to Nature in a symbiotic psychic relation, it creates a metaphorical property. Out of which perusha/Radien-giedde is born. He is also what connect us to the symbiotic experience of imagination that gives a person the ability to enter into, and understand the multitude of connections that exist throughout the animal kingdom and in the sense of a psychic field with cosmic proportions. It’s like a world held in a vibrant imaginative field of energy. In the experience of the Inuit, I think this is equivalent to Silap Inua. To the sami it is Radien-attje. The spirit that all things are made​​ off. He lives in everything and keeps everything separate and yet together. He is intelligence, the order of things, the atmosphere, the world itself. Or undertood as the casing around the earth. It is as though the earth is inside Sila/Radien-attje. In Anahata/Visudda, it snakes through what we experience in a symbiotic sense of the world only a metaphorical language can describe. Or as Jung put it; “the insurmountable power of reality no longer maintains this earth’s data, it is psychic data that does that”. It is a metaphorical psychic field that holds everything that exists together in a dynamic, living field of life.

the presence of a tree, a bird, or a slight shift in the breeze

Whether we are men or women, we often have a relationship with ourselves in a leftover state. And the one we have abandoned has his own desires, desires that often overflow the adult person’s external relationship to the world. The adult’s part of us carries our relationships to an absolute external world, and the person within us have our relation to a world of imagination, of energy. A world of the mind. And a metaphorical symbiosis with everything around us. To the experiences we make by imagination. Through our bodies we turn them into our physical reality. But in our present state, where that person inside of us is left to fend for him/herself, we do not listen to how it experience this. Instead, we deny ourselves the ability to be influenced by how it appears both from within and from behind our surroundings because we objectify it. We distort our perceptual reciprocity with it. We deny ourselves the ability to be engaged by it, in its own relation to Nature, to animals and humans in the forms of our imagination. It is our metaphorical notions that enable our relationships with others, and with nature, by having a kind of psychic symbiosis with the content of them. Instead, we take all the naive and undeveloped desires we have suppressed, a sense of having been abandoned as if it were only ours to bear, and not a relation to an abandoned raw psychic reality. Which we then transfer directly to our surroundings without taking into account their real significance for us in our relationship to a mutually shared world of perception that is part of us all. We then flood each other with our imaginations. And that leaves the world in such a horrible state. This does not mean that we have a responsibility for the whole world. It is a responsibility to pay attention to our imagination, the metaphorical relationship we have with each other. But no one can carry it for us, and we cannot carry it for anyone else. The world is a good example of what happens both when we do, and when we stop doing it.

I’ve talked to myself all my life

Everyone talks to themselves. Whether we process knowledge we have acquired, or treat what occurs spontaneously from sources within us. What we often do not think about is that we also do it through others. We use others both to talk to what affects us spontaneously, and for the knowledge we have obtained and transfer back to others or to society, regardless of whether it has something to add to the other person’s interaction with himself and his sources or not. We transmit ourselves, often not even noticing that we are doing it. In that way, we lose communication with ourselves and we become dependent on the objects of our interaction with our surroundings. We forget our own conversation and try to replace others with our own. We do not listen to the common psychic sources we have and how our forces there affect us independently of our desires or cultural needs. We just keep on trying to control our communication to our self by flooding others. People who do not acknowledge this always tend to get annoyed and perceive others as self-absorbed, not that they themselves in the same way ignore their own inner conversation by denying it in others. Anyway, the one I have with myself gives me the peace I need to be able to have a relationship with my nature and with others who are aware of it. The rest is just noise.

an absolute reality must b metaphorical

I relate to my surroundings with smell, taste, touch, sight and hearing. Everything else becomes metaphorical. Even though we know that the metaphorical is also energy, we confuse everything in our interaction with it. We think that we are not allowed to have a metaphorical mind which is not conceptualized by thinking. But it is our denial of that which make us feel bad about ourselves in relation to it. Because what we deny in us, we also deny in what exists as a reality in everything around us.

my presence embodies my beingness

He who has never been captivated by his inner psychic being knows nothing about life. Because he or she does not have a relationship to his or her own reality. And he who drowns in it, and disappears will never grow. He will lose his presence, and the relationship it needs to its external form, the connection beingness have in the sense of its totality.

energy as embodied life

In some of the encounters we make with others in our lives, we get to experience the full power of our combined inner energy. Henki if you are Finnish or from northern Sweden. “Libido” if you are psychologically oriented. We will see it in something or someone else. It is through that person we then try to approach the raw power we experience in ourselves. Many people think this is love, it is not. It is the real encounter we have with ourselves without reservation, but seen through someone or something else. We have dressed the other person with our inner form and energy, and then, unknowingly we think that we can make them go beyond themselves, because we cannot allow them to restrict how we see that other within ourselves. It is when we do not understand this that we become narcissistic. So we have to find a new way of relating to both, to what is in us and what is in others. Because what we see and reflect in ourselves has very little, or nothing to do with that external person, and that person can never be the experience we have of this, no matter how much they try to fulfill the form that begins to take shape within us. No one can carry our inner psychic person and the energy it conveys to us. But later, when we have endured it long enough, we may discover its existence, and that it is also something we experience in everything around us. It becomes a reality when nature itself is embodied as a psychic experience that is neither within nor outside of us. It is both.

of wilderness and tradition

If you grew up in a city, you are likely to relate to yourself through others and through comparative values. Or by things. But if you grew up in the country, it is more likely that you relate to others through a common connection to nature. In this context, the northern word luonto is more than just nature. It is a psychic experience. The reality of the intangible substance behind everything that is. That which surrounds us, and that which connects us with each other and all life. Yet it is both a personal subjective experience and a shared objective influence. It is the vessel of being, a property of space as a psychic quantity.

why we celebrate ”christmas” here in the north

In contradiction to what christianity had led us to believe, and later american consumerism, I suggest that Santa Claus origin is rather to be found in the northern folklore figure of Väinämöinen, the hero creator of our world anew. And in the stories about him where he is viewed as the bringer of conciousness. A seer and creator. A bard, and the spirit of chants, songs and poetry.

Väinämöinen is thus very far from the figure we invigorate our children with today. And he has nothing to do with our present day view of Santa Claus or its Christian substitution Saint Nicholas. But still, the exaggerated search for, and the original purpose of Christmas gifts becomes important in old northern beliefs, and it reveals another meaning to the procuring and giving of gifts. Since this old view got distorted and lost, the original intention of acquiring them turned it into materialism and greed. However, no wish list can ever replace the connection that has been lost to our original whole.

Väinämöinen is connected to the foundation of the world pillar, also thought of as the “world tree” that was thought to rest on the Pohjantähti or the North Star holding up the world. This is the very star that we put at the top of the christmas tree.
The north star and its position in the sky is also what guides the tietäjä’s, and noadi heroes to seek marriage with the daughters of Pohjola. Here in Pohjola the female Louhi is the powerful and evil witch Queen ruling over this northern realm with her ability to change shape and weave mighty enchantments. She appears as raw Nature, a Queen of great powers and she request a payment for the hands of her daughters in marriage. She seduces us into pretending to be her daughters. But it’s her way of being enchanting, hiding who she really is. It is deception through imagination, by magic. Being aware of this is the entrance to our psychic reality, our soul. Without payment she will not reveal who she really is. We have to give something up for her to change, to show herself. Louhi also sets difficult to impossible tasks to perform in order to claim such a prize, which leads to the forging of the Sampo.
The sampo is one such payment, a magic mill of plenty which churns out abundance. And abundance is what we feel when we are connected to this axis or tree holding up the sky. Separating out a conscious space between the unconscious and our instincts. Its churning lid have also been interpreted as a symbol of the celestial vault of the heavens, embedded with stars, revolving around a central axis. It can also be seen as the eternal sum of all time and our experience of being in its constant course, the relentless circling around its axis and the churning of our inner work, observing the timeless forms revealed to us in the ordeals we have to go through to enter her world in between. Her name Louhi also refers to this space as it is connected to the modern word “lovi” which in Finnish means cleft or crevice. And giving her gifts, like the sampo, can be seen as an act of being attentive in our personal work, of sacrificing ourselves and subjecting ourselves to the experience of her in the space where we will get to know her true character. We have to earn her acceptance before she gets visible to us and show us some of her benevolent and helpful aspects. The hero or Tietäjä has to give something up for his transference to gain entrance into Pohjola. To be able get himself this kind of a wife. Which is done with chants, songs and poetry. By developing his creative skills. Otherwise her magic influence will seduce him by using his imagination. Which is what true magic is all about in our everyday life. But maybe, if he can cope with this, she might come to his support with her magical abilities in return for the efforts as he get access to the celestial world of the heavens through her. But first the noadi hero must help to keep the world up on its pillar by some sacrifice. Because if there is no pillar, there is no wife. And there certaintly is no world.
There is also a good reason for doing all this at the time of “Christmas”. Christmas is celebrated on the winter solstice when the pillar seems to be at its weakest, and almost broken on the longest night of the year. Christmas was originally a ceremony linked to the winter solstice. It is a recognition of rebirth, of creating and balancing up the world again with the help of the spirit of Väinämöinen. We are trying to assemble back the lost gift. The Sampo that has been lost when stolen by Louhi, and broken into pieces. On the winter solstice we want to show that we have submitted ourselves to the search by bringing back the pieces of the sampo in our giving of Christmas gifts, to help the spirit of the noadi/tietäjä/hero to enter into this purely abstract place, a foreboding forever cold land far in the north. And to meet with Louhi. To get our souls back, and find our way back to a world of psyche.
By celebrating Christmas, we are actually trying to bring back her magic, the abundance of her shared space, to access what is inside it by putting the lost and broken pieces of our soul back together again, and go through the trials required in trying to work with Louhi in a ceremonial way. We do not celebrate “christ-mass”, we pay tribute to the sun and celebrate winter solstice. We are asking the spirit of Väinämöinen to help us find our way back to nature, to her soul.

the importance of people of old age

There are two forces in us that work together and that most often appear in opposition because they are perceived as separate. On top of that, we often reject one of them. Regardless of how we choose sides, they both seem to us as two different realities. One as raw experience, the other in connection to how we formulate it in relation to our lives. When one or the other side is oppressed, we end up in an opposite relationship we can only solve by rejecting what is not compatible with the attitude of our choices. Our reality becomes insufficient for us. We blame it on our opposite. It is in this soil that all sorts of personal incongruents, ideology or movements occur. We refuse or are unable to take into account how the other or opposite side formulates or experiences reality in relation to the other within us. For example; If I deny something essential in my actual external reality, I become completely dependent on my psychic experiences, on my nature and the inherent creativity that is in it, and my objective psychic reality becomes separated from my relationship to my external world. I will replace it with what spontaneously emerges from within. Which I will use to restrain my external reality in order to be able to maintain my inner balance. I must expel one part of the equation of that duality which has created tension within me if I do not choose to acknowledge them both as acting forces in me. Either I will restrict my ability to formulate my relation to my external reality by lack of knowledge, or I will restrain the relationship I have to my own psychic nature by lack of experience, and my ability to relate to the same forces and their presence in others. We run the risk of making a fool of ourselves. What I deny in myself I will deny in others. The dissonance I experience in others is something that occurs within me. So I will have a compulsive need to prevent others from expressing themselves independently in relation to any of my contradicting realities. One of them is in constant opposition to the other so the one I reject must be repressed in others. Which means that we experience it as oppression from any person we do not agree with, as he becomes the opposite side of that we surpresses in ourselves. The prevailing collective personality today is quite the like this. Because it distorts our psychic experiences, which makes us overly dependent on our sense of physical reality when formulating our relationship to what spontaneously arises within us. It will constantly replace what emerges from our psyche with the external or physical world. The sad side of this is that this is something we learn in our childhood. Few of us have the wisdom of older people around us who teach us to see the greater whole we have in ourselves. The knowledge that the current generation acquires is never sufficient. We need the combined experience from several generations to be able to meet ourselves and others in relation to life. This is what we like to refer to in the sense of mental or spiritual maturity in people, something which our current societies has so little of. We relate to the world with our body, through our eyes, by touch, taste and by listening to it. Through our psyche we interpret it. Somehow this world describes itself through us, and guide us to how we interpret it. It’s a wonderful mystery to me. And that requires a lifespan much longer than our current living generations can manage.

Follow the white rabbit

Everyone takes for granted that there is an external, absolutely tangible reality. But it is not as obvious to us that we in addition to this are also inside an equally absolute reality whose connections we discover in the relationships we see between everything as something we relate to in ourselves, which allows us to simultaneously discover and experience that we are profoundly related to the people and events we observe outside of us as from within, and that this appears in the space between us and others, and in the relationship we have to the Nature that makes us a part of it. Most importantly, if we deny this in ourselves, we also deny it as something that occurs in others. We make them what we do not see, or reject in ourselves. To something we do not recognise as having any influence on us. We turn it into our invisible enemy. To Ruohtta, a human plague. We discover it continuously within ourselves, not only in our matriarchal relationship to the nature that surrounds us, but also individually, in our contempt for the larger dualistic reality that recognizes them both. The two are treated solely on the basis of their relationship of being opposites, not on the basis of their common ground in consisting of an energy that is experienced both in a physical and psychological sense, and in a larger coherent total reality.

introverted intuition is the extraverted sky turned inside out

There is a field of energy, of the unformulated and formless that has not yet become thought. Which is still just raw energy. Or shapes that lives in everything and keeps everything separate and yet together. Of which everything is made. It is the background of all things. Of the atmosphere, the world itself. Like the casing around the the earth. We all have it in us. Some just call it to reflect on something, to think and are drowned in it. But what we do is that we listens to its sudden bursts of energy and the information inherent in it as it transforms into something tangible within us. I think this is what we call spontaneity. When we are receptive to it. The creativity that teach us what we are. It also happens everywhere in Nature. The entire visible order of the world is determined by the interference of the wave patterns of this energy. The molecular wave forms themselves seem to be determined by this energy to decide how molecules should interact and create comprehensible forms out of raw energy. I imagine this as space-time, as the encounter consciousness have with the self-organizing forms of psychic energy that we are affected by. The place where the present becomes timeless, and time moves both forward and backwards. In that sense, we all seem to be both a part of and a mediator of the insight this field of energy transforms into psychic reality, as we try to formulate our truth independent of to rigid subjective motives and listens objectively to what is transferred to us. We are at the receiving end of, or objects of all of that within us that are the original influences that define what kind of experience we have of ourselves and other beings made of the same psychic substance, or transformable energy in this world. Maybe the higgs boson represents. This thinking also leads me to recognise that the Grand Unified Theory must include the imaginative mind and its experience of psychic energy as a force that coalesce with nature and is directly observed within us and merge everything into a single state of existence. This unifying is made of experiencing the products of our imagination as something that we are both in, in the sense that it surrounds us everywhere, and something that we are because we embody it. The grand theory’s interaction of cosmos and the psychic interaction of the individual mind then unifies into a single electronuclear interaction. Everything we experience is an energy wave, and everything we formulate transforms into something tangible.

the sky of cosmos is the infinity sensed by introverted intuition

What I see in physics today is also our inner cosmos seen through an outer infinity. The two seem to be one for me. An example is how we imagine that the background of our world consists of energy, our psychic energy, what we also experience as a life energy sometimes generalized as libido. We imagine that it is a field of forms consisting of raw energy which in itself is information or mental events that affect us with material properties. We experience them as pure energy or waves that appear within us with information that is transformed and visualized, then transferred by minds into tangible forms and matter. It means to me that a simultaneity arises in physics where parts of this psychic field appears both in a timeless event horizon and anywhere in the external tangible reality at the same time. It does not matter where our present is. This event horizon appears within us as Nature herself, as a creative imaginative field of raw energy that appears in us in a kind of simultaneous psychic reality, also imagined as being outside of time, as its interior. That which we carry within us of the cosmos itself. With all the forms of information there, which is transformed by everything that is in that space wherever it appears in time. That is why so many intuitive forms of experience are so similar. What we experience has the same original energy and form. But we describe it differently depending on where in time we are. Where we happened to be localized in that space itself. We shape it through our time to be able to make its impact on us understandable. Although it is then valued differently depending on how it is applied. This is also how introverted intuition works. We are all both a part of the energy behind what we are, and we perceive it as the other within us that shapes how we perceive ourselves and others. But when we look into cosmos and visualize its energy within us, we are all there as one.

a giant is our mind enlarged to the point of being monstrous

Stalo is a one-eyed and cruel giant who wears black iron clothes that make him impervious to objectively encountering emotional nuances in a human psyche. He becomes an evil man-eater. However, since he is unintelligent and gullible he is outwitted by cunning Sami, often by the children he intends to eat. To me they are the perception we have of being in an experienced psychic and emotional totality with all things. The Stalo is a kind of deformed personality, a superego and our collective impression of how people are shaped by the internal social order of their society. Sluggish, irritable and instinctive. Stalo’s emotional vulnerability puts him in a constant state of defence that makes him stupid and aggressive. I can see him everywhere in social media, everywhere in public life and in all political debates where the position of the other is constantly ignored or diminished. He is the rejected objective life of our mind that makes us deny it in others. Those shared mental experiences and their transformation back and forth between mind and matter, from non-material psychic occurrences to tangible form. When ignored in ourselves, we become excitable and instinctive, and we behave like cattle. Since we have no psychic life of our own we tend to defend any beliefs recognized by the collective we try to unite with, and to be accepted by, as we compulsively try to conform to its split up and incongruous contexts of moral values. We are not even affected by the consequences it may have on us, or other people when we have such a unproportional approach to life. We completely lose touch with the forces that affect us and others from within ourselves, and we cannot accept other people as something that is not what we are, as something else in relation to the same psychic source, but still independent and in itself separate from us. We have become cut off from experiencing earth, and life itself.

the white rabbit of social life

We’re all like Alice, we fall into the rabbit hole. Where “logic and proportions have fallen sloppy dead. And the white knight is talking backwards.” I was also brought into the presence of the other. To the primordial center of the earth that is everywhere. An intermediate place where others also exist with that embodied, which unconditionally and without interference, spontaneously shows us what we need to know. Its obvious to me in social surroundings if it is there or not. Most are just drown and their minds are split up in a thousand pieces. They cling to them as life jackets and try to hold on to whatever piece they can attach to some other. “One pill makes you larger, And one pill makes you small, And the ones that mother gives you, Don’t do anything at all”. But it will not work. Thats not the reality of the mind. Go ask Alice.

Visionary states and the movie Tomb Raider

Yesterday we saw the movie Tomb Raider. About in the middle of the movie, it struck me that I was watching something else. I saw the film in a different way while watching it. In a kind of double vision. An overall structural layer appeared with its own internal logic keeping its parts together. A young girl, Lara Croft or a woman’s dream self has grown up and does not want to take on the role that tells her how she should act according to what is expected of her, out of grief over her “dead” or missing father. She finds out that he had another side to him that she did not know of which was related to the supernatural / psychic / mythical. A side of him that in her makes her go after it as that makes her think that he might still be alive. Which he apparently is within her. This in turn leads her to a deserted island in the middle of a wild ocean, to what she does not know of him in her. She manage to get to this island where she also meet the other side of her father, the one who was constantly turned away from her and made her emotionally and psychologically absent. A ruthless and cold-hearted man in the form of a villain who stops at nothing to reach his goals. She really finds her father again, and at the same time descend into the underworld together with both him and his unknown “villain”. That is, the one who makes her do this descent into the unknown in the first place. Together they find the buried Queen of death down there. But she become forced to let go of her father and leave him behind to be able to leave this underworld. She also found out the real reason to why the queen has allowed herself to be buried alive. The queen suffered from a fatal psychic infection that made her voluntarily choose to get buried to save the world from her, from the disease she carried within her. That a human touch means loss and abandonment. Emotional death and burial. The Queen of death infected others by her touch. By her need of human warmth and bodily contact. Lara gets out of the underworld, and left its old structure as it fell apart and got destroyed by her infected father. She came back from the other side and agreed to take on her responsibilities to be able to continue the research of the unknown other side of the family. I imagine the touching and infection by closeness the Queen of death had, can be thought of as the contemporary negligence we all inherit from our parents, their ignorance of our common inner source, which then become heavily guarded by our buried Queen and grieving other within. Up until now she have never had any reason to confront the influence it had over her, but now she had to find the Queen of death inside of her to be able to realise what power she has over her. She does that in leftover clues, disorderly and randomly scattered around in her. She followed a treasure map that lead her to the island on the other side, to what she has within her, to her own personal experiences of her nature and the sense of a wholeness that it is part of. This wholeness is her treasure. I have no idea how this came about, why I got this ”image” of the movie. But I do now that it was not meant for me. It was most surely meant for someone I know.
Perhaps one can see these elements in the film as creative symbolism, as something that has historically also been called visions or visionary states. In any case, it does make this story more comprehensible to me, and it also gives a personal touch to the occurrence of holy men and shamans. Also, by making this summary it almost turn it into a fairy tale. Which makes me see storytelling and fairy tales, their generic summary of a story, as the inner logic of the overarching connections we process in parts of human relationships and the significance they have for our psychic organization.

That cultural personality in me

Morning peace.

I hate the surrounding societal influence that created my father’s behavior in the man who was then constantly preoccupied with how these influences shaped the expectations I was forced to carry for him in order for him to feel accepted by the society that was forced on him. Which then made me lose what was his reality inside of him when I was growing up. I hate to see this in other men and women around me. Seeing my own loss, my own pain resurface in others, which constantly exposes me to it again. There is nothing in my own being or in the nature I belong to that has anything to do with it. Go away, be gone, just be somewhere else. I dont like what you have left behind in me, in all of us, what we had to deal with in ourselves. A game of attitudes that turns us into cattle. My father, like many other fathers, had abandoned his source. So there was no space between us where I was shown to it, or to the intermediate space where all the transitions take place. He had abandoned it and stopped listening as he was trying to justify it in himself through others and me. Which only made us feel redundant. Sadly he died without finding it so we could be close to it together.

the true force of reality is the psychic nature of imagination

What I experience are not theoretical concepts or terms in an academic discussion. If I say psyche, I mean experiences as such, transformed into reality. Their origin, and behavior is something beyond me with an intention that makes my experiences relative to me. The I, and what the nature of my person within me mediates to me, are my recipients of experiences that have their own independent background in a vast psychic space of timeless reflections. If I relate to something in others, it is to that person, in that kind of environment. What I am trying to say is, I share experiences from this with others, besides how we define them in a specific external form, or context. Although it is always present to us externally in a historical sense, and watered down in a cultural community of established and widespread cherished values, of how we imagine our relationship to our common psychic life. So what our scientific approach has in common with this is, that it interacts with the material reality in the same way that our belief system does with our psyche. It is basically no distinction between them because the source of both is the same. We cannot escape the fact that their origin has a common source that we try to describe by way of how it interacts with our imagination when we apply it to our existence. My relationship to this source that my inner person emerged from, is therefore not determined by what words we use for it, but how I can relate to myself in a wordless manner if I pay attention and listens. Also, this relation is something that was already there before I was. It is the force of our nature’s spontaneity that we receive, which is conveyed to me by my inner person for whom I am an object. I think it is this relationship that we have to the other within us, that we refer to when we say that we reflect on something. We reflect on what it negotiate to us. How we then imagine something in this world is a result of this relationship. It is the source of all our thinking and feeling, our intuitive processing and its sensations.

we are the vessels for the nature of energy

It’s like a state between two attentions called ruohtta. This is where we end up when we have lost the relationship to our psychic or traditional world, or been called back to it. It is neither good nor evil since it is both, and it is most often perceived as a personification of a desolate emptiness without content. But it is not empty, and without patience we can never perceive it. And without perseverance we can never understand it. It calls for a different kind of courage. In a literally sense we experience it as an endless nothingness, and fear of the dark. For what is in the other. Something we find by listening to what our nature encounters in there. It is a flow and a passage that goes in two opposite directions that wears and pulls us until we break. But that’s when we start listening. It is our relationship to our instincts, the impulsivity that constantly claim our immediate attention that make us go crazy because at the same time, we are moving in its opposite direction. To the other, psychic personality. Where our primordial senses and the content of that world is still a force of influence, making its presence felt everywhere. No matter what a collectives perverted and rigid sense of this possesses. After all, it is what we have to face personally, on our own. To explain it away, or with scorn and prejudice be condescending, comes from our lack of courage to experience this reality. It is about our endurence, our fears, and of being alone in ourselves, and with what we contain that only our relationship to this content can convey both in ourselves, in others, and in the living environment that surrounds us. We are both enclosed in it and embraced by it. It is about character, about being attentive, and respecting both the physical and mental relationship we have to it.

our senses have experiences that extend far beyond our time

I think it’s not just where my reflection comes from that I try to understand. But also the part of me that is that other, that which I embody who is connected to earth and physically relates me to the sky as an embrace from the perspective of what we contains. Where its circumference becomes a vessel who involves me in its presence, to become one with Nature. I cannot explain it in any other way. But he is also what connects me to everyone in my background, to how they related to him and what kind of relationship to the whole that we have within us, and what they have been exposed to that is transferred to me. How that acts in me. It always works both ways. So part of what I have to suffer and go through, is transpersonal and independent of time and related to experiences by those who came before me. We are also living our ancestors life in relation to our psychic architecture, and by listening to their voices they also help me find my way back to where it first was lost. Some psychic sufferings cannot be solemnly explained by a single individual like myself. Because we emulate our relation to how that structure was made in the first place, a long, long time ago. It is what is behind our experiences, and make them in a certain way. So some of our experiences are not our own, but transferred by our ancestors through time, and is the result of how they have related to that structure. What some of our sufferings then is made of is due to how they interacted with it in the past. Or what made them stop doing it. Their past is what I interact with right now. What I am trying to say is that if we extend our understanding beyond ourselves and our ancestors, then we are making experiences that are similar because they are relationships we share to the same structural source of psychic life, not the experiences in themselves, but how we are involved in our experiences as a whole, in a sense of affinity.

the manifest other, or ghost of the double

It is as if I have to purge myself from public opinion. From the great Swede attitude that was put in me to replace my inherited and original psychological architecture. To be colonized and invaded by the emptiness and moral conflicts of a psychic belonging that prior to this did not existed in me. It is like an endless stream of broadcasted knowledge and judgements that constantly overlaps itself without any real connection to me. I usually find my way back to this order of awareness again when I spend time in nature, in the mountains, or just outside the psychological infection of the general noise. My senses become clear again and I can see myself in the psychic totality that we are in, of which I am made. Of that something that I am part of. It is the space that is in everything and that encircles everything. It is from that I originate. I belong there, in that manifest other, where I am together with the timeless presence of my primeval double. All who endure it long enough will discover that the emptiness we first experienced there is not, or has never been empty, and that we were all transformed by the mindset of the collective, and that our original whole almost lost its own reality. Just because the external personality cannot understand the reality this emptiness conveys to our psychic personality. It’s like wrestling with a giant. It is impossible. With its strength, or its instinctive and immediate demands for the satisfaction of desires and needs. It cannot tolerate any deferral of them. But if I pay attention to the other, the source of the whole we share and which is each one’s unique experience, then the giant loses his strength. The reflection of the other in us is what makes it possible for us to hear our own inner voice. The giant becomes benevolent and helpful. Although constantly attentive and irritable to a complacent environment.

experiences beyond the boundaries of skin

At some point, everyone will be called to face it. The collective power of our psyche. It’s often the introduction to our initiation. Most people who experience it unknowingly just give in to it and seek liberation from it through a person outside of ourselves. Or we laments that the external person is not accessible to us, or able to carry what we are experiencing. We have to suffer the tremendous impact it has on us. But when it withdraws, as it have to, to bring us back from that person to its primordial origin. The original power is usually lost, and a depression may follow, since it is not conveyed with any insight into what kind of significance it has for us when it happens. Partly because it is about being able to stand up to it in ourselves. We have to recognize our bodies, our physical presence. And to realize that it is working through us. That it is there both within, and between us. It is what will make us grow. It is the power that takes us out of our psychologically perceived dependency, away from the relationships that characterize our personal childhood and the undeveloped experience we have of this force as an end in itself. As something we indulge in with selfish purposes instead of being something that gives us a powerful way of looking at ourselves, at our own nature and the world around us. How we and others live in relation to it both mentally and physically. For most, it stops there as an end in itself. We cling to it through others in a grand way, or we may cling to it as “the suffering of the world”, where there is never going to be enough suffering that we address and indulge in. Because we haven’t seen it as something we have to face in ourselves, personally. An almost unbelievable amount of suffering emerge from this experience. I also think that it is most likely why people tend to cling to all kinds of different authorities. They think that they can end “their” sufferings of the world.

meaning has a separate and different context in time than it otherwise has

I do not relate to my surroundings with the views of public opinion, about what is generally recognized and accepted there. Or the perceptions it has about what is right or wrong in a world of thought separated from the experience of where our nature and social life interrelate in an embodied sensory manner. That just transforms someone’s assumption of what something is, into someone else’s assumption of what also is, where we infinitely deny the ‘other’ within ourself the right to exist. There is never any real interior involvement. Because there is no such thing. That kind of assumptions have no roots in the other’s psychological space. The world of personal subject-to-subject sharing of presence where we actively participate in each other’s existence is not present, and I don’t like to be outside of the center of my being. Outside of what is taking place continuously, that is, from behind of the mainstreams assumptions, and that which matters most. Both humans, non-humans and places exists within its own existential space of value and meaning, and that space between nature and society is in itself social. It is where we get our reflections of what we are, and mutually co-create each others’s sense of awareness of the other. Be it a place, a human or a non-human sensory experience of our reality. We just become involved in what it is that is there, and since the dawn of man we still make experiences that are widely recognized and accepted there too. We have just learned to ignore it, to reference and pay attention only to what is outwardly recognised, and only look at ourselves like that. The cultures of any indigenous people of any traditional origin may confirm this to us. We are completely out of our minds and we dont even now it.

I am a multicausal process with many intentional origins

I no longer have any hope. Its gone. It just isn’t there anymore. I see no conceivable continuation to the better of how we act on this world from its present state. I see myself in it, but not the world in that content. My experiences do not connect to its present state of mind. The part of me that has to do with it has lost the old transference from which it was made. The civilized part of me that was created for me have no connection to the nature that transforms it. To the Nature I come from and who involves me in my existence. What we call culture has no meaning for me because it does not embody anything in me, in my nature. To try to emulate it, to be “civilized”, is to deny how it behaves spontaneously, and the directions it conveys to me. I think that as long as we deny our nature, there is nothing civilized in what we call culture. Because humans are not the only acting subjects in our environment. I experience an active interplay, or a coupling between the perceiving subjective experiencing, together with that which it perceives. It makes perception participatory for me, since places also gather experiences and histories. By doing so, they do themselves become social beings and actors. We mutually co-create each others’s sense of being with them as well as with all non-human minds that is part of the psychical nature we are embedded in, and the knowledge it is producing. It is more real to me to say that we live as objects in an inter-subjectivity than anything else, in a direct subject-to-subject sharing of presence. But most of us has lost, denies, or never had any language to be able to participate in it. And without it, there is only a surface left of how we are formulated by our culture, by its empty political correctness. There is no hope in that, and we will perish by it. This means that when we do, we will have nowhere else to go than to our Nature. But we never get there if we cannot acknowledge that the world is at least partly evil, and that that evil is there because we are also part of it through ourselves. In how our civilised social attitude denies the validity of others in their relation to their own nature as formulated by them. Which compulsively will make others an image of ourselves, not letting their subjective presence count. In this we tend to make the whole of mankind an opposite of its parts.

psyche and body, or matter

We do not share experiences per se, but we do share the impression of a background force in our psychic organization that makes us have them. How many of us willingly take the journey to that kind of understanding? To live it together with others? Without that experience, all relationships become dependent on their material aspects only, and can only be confirmed by the tangible. Only our instincts will remain for us, which must then be the only supporting undercurrent in all our relationships. This was what the spiritual teachings of indigenous peoples were about. To define our relationship to the organization of this background structure apart from our instincts. They were interested in the forces that influenced how we made our experiences. The influence it had on all life. It is this origin that we feel in the immediately present and infinite nowingness, which manifests itself in the experiences we make and call psychology today.

we are simply just not in there

“People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own souls. They will practice Indian yoga and all its exercises, observe a strict regimen of diet, learn theosophy by heart, or mechanically repeat mystic texts from the literature of the whole world –all because they cannot get on with themselves and have not the slightest faith that anything useful could ever come out of their souls.”

.. But this attitude, pervasive throughout the world, has resulted in “neuroses and similar illnesses,” the loss of meaning in life, “mental epidemics” and the “restriction of consciousness” which leads to emptiness in life.
Jung warns us that our denigration of the soul has left us “alone and you are confronted with all the demons of hell,” showing up as “anxiety neurosis, nocturnal fears, compulsions,” and all of this due to the fact that our souls have “become lonely;”
“Without soul, spirit is as dead as matter, because both are artificial abstractions; whereas man originally regarded spirit as a volatile body, and matter as not lacking in soul.”
— C G Jung

Our content must come from somewhere, experiences are not only formulated by our surroundings, they have once emerged from the formless events that appear in ourselves. By not acknowledging this origin and the content that our bodies are carriers of, and the inner organization it conveys, we cannot formulate the living influence it has on us. We can only look at and confirm what we see in a materialistic sense. But we do not feel more involved in our lives or the nature we are a part of and embody as psychic beings in that way. Some of us may even call it psychology to deny ourselves the individually experienced content that formulates what we are. They cannot see what they are when it is formulated spontaneously, and must be interpreted and understood, by and in themselves regardless of the prevailing perception as of how we should look at ourselves through our surroundings. Or in our time only by the material composition of our body. We can say and do things, but not with substance. With a relation to it, because it questions how we want others to think about ourselves too much. We must then constantly repeat our denial of the validity of others’ relation to their own content as formulated by them, and compulsorily make others an image of ourselves. Something we repeat in how we ourselves have been traumatized, and then traumatize our own children. They do not suffer from a mental illness just because they oppose it. They’re just not you. That’s what they and we oppose. But we will destroy both each other and the world before we accept this, what we have been exposed to and never dared to question within ourselves.
If we expose ourselves to what others are going through by letting ourselves face our own experiences of it together with them, but without taking care of what it is in them, then we are often considered insensitive. We live in a kind of spiritual exchange culture where no one should have their own relationship to our psyche without someone else’s involvement. But if we do not expose ourselves to what we are experiencing there, we are not involved in how our life affects us. And if we replace our own experiences with others, we deny others of having their own. But if we acknowledge its common origin, then we have in common that we formulate the content of that of us that we perceive individually but which is psychically common and shared with all. We do not share any experiences in itself, but we share the impression of a background power in our psychic organization that makes us have them. I think that’s what Jung is talking about when he refers to the soul. To our Nature.

wisdoms of infinity

My grandson and I where building plus plus together this weekend. He asked me what I was doing and I answered that I was making a plant. I then asked him what he was doing. -I am building space he said. Ok, what does space contain? I asked him. His answer was as obvious as it was immediate. -Everything I dont know he answered me.
And a few weeks ago, he built a sand castle with a sleeping queen in the house in the middle, surrounded by a “castle wall”. He said then, -Tobbe and Lotta with their kid live in a small village there.
I guess personal space and the person that is to become its inhabitant is making room for itself ..

initiation as an ongoing living reminder from our nature to become part of it

Three things must be experienced for what they are during some period in life in order for us to be involved in the initiation that we encounter and that runs within us throughout our lives. We must be exposed to and feel real vulnerability, experience real seclusion, and understand and find our access to the inner nature that is one with the one that embraces us, something we must also face alone in our experience of how darkness affects us. I believe that everyone goes through them individually and in different forms, and that some of us stay for far too long in deviations from them, and in what then arises when we do not understand what it is we experience when we go through it. What it is within us that is a part of it. We tend to suffer from it in silence or in seclusion without knowing why we do it. We feel exposed and vulnerable without knowing the cause of why it appears. We can experience fear of our own natural instincts through others, and of the darkness that naturally arises around us, which can then trigger our own sense of insecurity that we carry within us in the encounter with our own nature, and we begin to see it through people and things around us. That’s why exposure to seclusion and darkness is so important. To experience our nature in its embodied sense of that wholeness that encompasses us. Because if we ignore our part in this, it will silently haunt us and cause anxiety. We diminish ourselves and become irritable and defensive. If we accept it, we will be guided in the experience of our psychic architecture. We become part of nature instead of repeating ourselves in our fears, or in our feeling of loneliness and vulnerability which is where we are made unique. That is, we constantly try to rationalize this away while our reality speaks a completely different language that says something else about the truth behind our attitude. We are not involved. What I mean is, our fears, feelings of vulnerability and loneliness are intimately connected to the experience of the psychic initiation everyone has within them. Whether we are aware of it or not, it will be expressed through us as a physical experience. The question is if we are able or willing to follow its lead. Which initially is painful and tremendously disturbing for the mindset we are growing out of and leaving.

finding the image of the dialog with our being, or opposing other

To me it seems that finding our double is crucial for all types of human relationships. It is about our recognition of the arguments of others. If we deny ourselves “the other” within us, we do not recognize the other person’s validity, so we deny them this other, or his / her’s double’s right to exist. When we do that, we become two-dimensional and have no standpoint in ourselves. The other have no say, because we only let our “civilized” ideals decide what is to be accepted by us. Completely leaving out the rest of our shared psychic Nature. We become a dummy for what is generally accepted regardless of its consequences for the individual, and for ourselves. We become our own enemy without knowing it. Grand ideas and flamboyant ideals become guiding principles for our human actions. Something that is constantly going to remind us, and shame us as inattentive people. An experience that we are constantly influenced by in others. We let it ravage freely and wonder how political phenomena seem to arise out of nothing, and how isolated outbreaks of atrocities are carried out by people who have lost or never had any contact with who we also are within us. We dont even recognise how it appears in our own personal life. Scale it up to leadership over large companies, organizations or countries and we see more clearly what is behind our news. What is happening in the world. We just let the world suffer it for us. It is about finding our true voice, or our real name. Or we only know of others what we think is civilized, or generalized in ourselves through our compressed dummy. Not through our conversation with ourselves that is something that also exists in others. It is this that makes us impenetrable, to a mere facade, isolated and inaccessible to the world around us.

In Finnish folklore, an ‘etiäinen’ is what a person is a reflection of, a sensed impression of a double that precedes him or her, and does, or do, the same things that a person does, and have to encounter later on. To meet with such a ‘being’ can be called an etiäinen. An etiäinen can be heard and sometimes also seen. In sami it is called “Ovdasas” (forerunner or forewalker) or “Mannasas” (walking afterwards) or “Forrosas” (traveller), This Farrosas (traveller, covering both terms) refers to that everybody is born with a double, which is also the person’s guide. Ovdasas in Finnish is oudastaa, which means to detect, or see through things. An awareness, and a promonition, hence the term “forerunner”, when it refers to the double or the template of our being. It is often confused with the image we have of ourselves, our autopilot or the “civilized” version we use in our social interaction with others. But they have nothing to do with each other because they are two separate experiences. One of them, our Nature, is in us what is constantly evolving, the other is that which is already known, and generally accepted.

the geography of our common experience

I’ve always had a companion who is what makes me se ahead, like in a premonition of people and events. Recently I also learned that it is a norm, something to be expected with my background. In a way one can say it walks ahead of me at the same time as it follow me from behind. Like someone giving me directions and points me to how I react to the experiences I have to dwell in, that occupies me. This activity freaked me out in my youth, and made me prefer to spend much of my time alone with myself trying to figure out what this was, to contain its energy, since no one around me seemed to take notice about such things. In the past, the Finnish language had terms that referred to it, oudastaa, and etiäinen. Which is the double that we are a reflection of, or have a sensed impression of. By using its raised energy, it was used to perform some needed tasks, and get help or guidance. We still sense it in that way. An impulsive force of nature that is inspiring us with its close physical connection to earth. Which make us feel part of it. But its first appearance in my youth really made me question my sanity. Among other things with auditory visions that was threatening my sense of reality. Later it forced me into a complete breakdown of how I previously perceived my world. To shift my stand about it. I am deeply in debt to those that was close to me for taking it for what it was. To let me ride it out. It opened me up to what I had in my bones, deep in my marrow. It was a release of the experience of that other nature I had within me. This in turn also made me realise that people talking of having had previous lives, or identifying with it in our present one, and respect that layer of experience, are worthy of more than scorn from people around them. The undercurrents of our current time do still hold old layers of experiences close to us in the architecture of our mind. When we begin to realise that we have a double within us, a kind of universal human template, we may also be able to experience where its reality was cut off from our life together with others. To connect to it again is to embody it anew, and translate its experiences to our present time. We reconnect our true being with our lives. The content that previously made us see through things now turns into a living reality behind the person we have learned to be. What we have seen between the lines becomes our reality, and the energy level of the double now becomes the center of our world. The person now faced by our doube becomes a ghost of what we once where, of what we had to let go. He was just a make believe, a smokescreen, not what we truly are. We can relate to the psychic layer and its functioning in us that we were born with, which will connect us with our ancestors, and help us to understand how its influence affect us in our lives.
That person we where, the reflection of how our world wanted us to be, not what our double really are, and the name that has been attached to his, or her reflection, is a mere mannequin, a dummy and a compromise. An idealized version of what is considered to be civilized. It becomes a threat to us when we realize that it is not at all civilized. That he cannot make our decisions for us, because he is an empty representative, not of how the content of our psyche, as part of our common human nature is transferred to him by us. Or as our threshold to the world around us. He is not something we should identify with. If We do, we just become empty shells. So when we complain or criticize others, what we feel is psychic starvation through him. I think that’s why many relationships in “civilized” societies are so turbulent, and become violent.

I also believe that it is our own external substitute, that “civilized” perception of a personality, which only resembles and serves an image of the real one, that is what our psychopathic culture forces on our indigenous peoples. Who then just like us when we have lost the relationship to our own psychic architecture, try to relieve the pain in it, with psychotropic drugs, alcohol and other self-medication. We suppress the relation to our own inner origin by oppressing indigenous peoples in the outer. Often, this sickness comes disquised behind words like developement and globalisation. But a clear language is extremely important to people, because in its natural context it refers to our original experiences, which are then through language transmitted to us by our grandparents’ parents’ parents, and then by us to our children and grandchildren. Without it, we will be deprived of the geography of our psychic extistence. Our experiences becomes disconnected from its relationship to our immediate reality.

the primordial “disease” of the mind

“People sometimes talk about “schamanic disease”, a special condition, a nervous disposition combined with artistic talent and extraordinary irritability.” (Wiklund, 1978: 166)
Traditionally, some individuals had the ability to raise the energy level of our double, in order for it to perform certain intended tasks, drumming was the ceremonial way to do that. Today we experience it in many of our relationships with each other and in nature but also without having a psychic architecture that can put what we experience into a psychic whole. So we look for explanations instead of a relationship to that which affects us, and which is beyond our control.

I think this “disease” is our kind of initiation into our interior form of being as a container for experiences of psychic nature. Like how women understands how they can manipulate men by becoming a container for it, and for men, the relational nature of life that men see of themselves through women. In the same way that men casually embody the ability to formulate that container, and what it contains for women who are reluctant or prevented from doing so. Herein lies much of the conflict we experience later in life with still youthful minds in an unprocessed interior. Obviously this is based on culture and not on gender since both the experiencing and the formulation of it will occur regardless of how culture define it. It is annoying as hell for any reality outside of our instinctual sexuality because so much confusion is put into it, to how we victimize each other and force the other to emotionally give in to what we ourselves have unprocessed within ourselves. With what our lack of self-independence imagine identity is all about. That blame is all over the place when we do not work through the insights of what it means to see through everyday events on a human level. And I am not referring to hearsay, mindless thoughts, gossip or guilt that floods us on a daily basis. That will not create any genuine reflection of this process we have within us. It is like a primordial initiation into a world of psyche and to independently discover our own constant dialogue with that other in a world of experiences. Of course, depending on how this has first been translated to us in our surroundings, by our heritage. But it will work through us in one way or the another anyway. Even if we do not recognize it as something that exists as a part of ourselves.

Casually, many today believe that we must make ourselves victims of its influence on us. While we are, in fact, called by our nature to walk the inherent path that it currently leads each of us to follow in ourselves. We are all alone in listening to what it has to say, and following where it leads us, but we share that calling with everything around us.

a closed mind is a mind of its own

.. when a Sámi becomes closed up in a room, then he does not understand much of anything, because he cannot put his nose to the wind. His thoughts don’t flow because there are walls and his mind is closed in .. But when a Sámi is on the high mountains, then he has quite a clear mind.
Johan Turi – An account of the Sami.

I could not agree more. There is a Sami word, meahcci, which is a perceived moral dimension with practical consequences, where psyche and nature are experienced as one in our interactions with it. There are practices of enchantment there that is not possible to squeeze in to closed spaces.

Perhaps it was the experience of this that organized religion later came to recognize as the concept of soul, which in its external form in a Sami context was called radien neita, and which inwardly was called saivo neita. But no matter how we choose to name these types of experiences, they do not differ, because this occurrence is in them both. This is not the gender issue it is often formulated as. Radien giedde is as important to the understanding of the content of inspiration as the soul is as a container for it.

self-deception is not the way of life

To see through things is to pay attention to what occurs in the space between humans, animals and nature, to allow oneself to be mutually observed in it, to what is transferred as a transparent content between us. It is a kind of separation, where what we experience is removed from us and embodied in that space. Nature becomes something that embodies itself in us at the same time that we are embodied in it. It is also what I experience when my I-ness merge with someone or something else, and to take it back becomes a necessity for my personal inner balance. This often becomes obvious to us when we get annoyed at the dissonance that arises between what we want other forms of being to be, and what they are in them selves. If we do not have an initiated experience of the experienced, we try to coerce that other to bring it back to us because it is something we have transferred to them, to nature, to things or other beings. But they are already part of that space. The opposite is also equally true. When what we see through is something we embody for someone else. Like Nature or earth, forms or qualities that does not belong to us. Either way, it involves a lot of pain, and a genuine sense of independence on the transpersonal level. Here it is a shared experience of our origin and of the raw powers of Nature itself, that is, of the forces that independently of us work through us.

it is in the sense of something more

We will never attain the whole that embraces everything that surrounds us at the same time that it also exists within us only with our intellect. It is something we experience from how we interactively participate in the basic structures of our psyche. Which means that we must first go through the defences that prevents us from reaching it again, transmitted to us by our personal and cultural surrounding. People around us are not conscious about their relation to it. So by learning to omitt our own relationship to its experience, or having a conscious relationship to how it affects us will create the conditions to our attitude to defend ourselves to its influence. It overwhelmed us with confusion and threatened to obliterate our relation to our beingness with embarrassment when we where young. So we defended ourselves with obstinancy and scorn, or we learned to do it with a total submission to those who where willing to carry it for us and compensate for our wound. That wound then turn our original wholeness into a suspicion of authority, and the sense of wholeness became a threat to us. So we cannot approach it again through those external defences we have built up under the pretence that it is that which create our individuality. Or with our intellect alone. Because this will only create a state of coercion, where our relationship with the underlying forces that affect us from within constantly repeats our need to resist them. We will find ourselves in a kind of psychic recursion and we simply lose touch with what really connects us to other people. Of course, we can constantly try to criticize ideas and opinions and feelings that do not agree with ours, but that will not make us feel more involved in the underlying structure that powers them from within our greater whole, neither with others nor in the world we are in.

Have we not already identified how this loss affects us both personally and collectively. With leaders holding suggestive narcissistic mass meetings solely to glorify their own ideas, their own significance and grandeur, both in plan and execution, not for what they actually do for the individual to make their lives better, and then incessantly blaming others for the imperfections and failures that results from the exaggerated and unattainable. Eagerly cheered on by submissive followers and inflated lackeys who are appointed to important positions to maintain the impression of the perfect leader’s glorified appearance. We behave like children in constant need of attention. But in a child, these exaggerated fluctuations are natural in the weighing of the balance that arises to the whole that exists both within us and everywhere around us, and in the development of our independence in relation to it in ourselves and in others.

On the other hand, we also have the wounded whole we see in everyone else, where we then try to force others to engage in the pain of the whole we ourselves have lost. I believe that it is this search that makes many people look for it in psychology, but also to use these means to try to control and force others to a constant submission of what has been lost in themselves, or ignore by medication.

No matter how sadistic it sounds, it is also through this wound that we will relate to others, to the world that surrounds us and what makes us empathetic people. Anyway, it is still always going to be a balance we must find in ourselves between the two.

nature nows the difference between what is right and wrong

When we feel the full power of our nature, when we are no longer children and it goes all in, then I think we develop the sensitivity that make us able to be observed by it, both in others and out in nature itself, because with years of living close to it, it becomes nothing but this Nature who experiences itself through us. It is transpersonal at the same time as we experience it in our own unique way. We share the source of that experience. Violent at first, powerful, then wonderful at the same time that it is damn challenging morally. A constant balancing act.
There is a wonderful image of it in Egyptian mythology, the goddess Maat. She bound all things together into an indestructible unity; the universe, nature, the social order of society and the individual, were all seen as part of the larger order she has generated. It was against a feather from her wings that all hearts were weighed against before they could pass to the psychic nature which is the common whole that exists for all of us, and from which we emerged as children. But it is unique in our personal experience of it. We feel a deeper belonging to life from within this larger whole, and we just now the difference between what is right and wrong in the sense of balance and integrity, and we sense our independence by heart through that experience. Maat has a strong resemblence to the door woman Uksakka in the old Sami tradition. She who watches over the transition or passage between this world and the transpersonal one.

The difference between the transpersonal perception today and the traditional one only seems to be that today that is transmitted to real women and to men in our temporal world instead of to psychic forms shaped by our psychic experiences. We are no longer physical vessels of this. And a balance between them is probably what we call feeling whole.

Instead, we live on opinions and ideas that do not originate from the forms that appear from within. So our reluctance and natural fear of facing them, creates a market of drugs from the large drug companies that prevent access to ourselves through cynical marketing, and diagnostic simplifications of our experiences supported by that, creating a distorted view of what it means to have the experience we need to be able to get access ourselves as whole human beings. It is our reluctance to face the transpersonal as something universal within us, and ignore it with psychotropic drugs, that creates the conspiracy theories that emerge from this context.
This is the mental sickness that is raging in the western or modern view of the world today. Our world no longer experiences itself through us. We have lost our ability to hear it within us, because we no longer understand that this is the way we are a part of it.

a creation story as experience

Since the age of 28, and the mental tsunami I went through, I have experienced myself as part of a whole that surrounds me, which is also physically experienced as a center in me. I feel seen by it and by the surrounding Nature I am in. Strongest during my solitary walks in the mountains. But also here in the forests that are close to me. The sky above my head is experienced as a cosmic embrace from which everything is constantly created, and behind everything, are all forms of life existing in a psychic totality, of which my inner being, my psychic double, the one we refer to when we are reflected back to ourselves, is a part, and express itself through me. He who alternately follows me during the day and who I follow at night. In all this a moral balance arises. A kind of mental foundation on which everything is based. Our inner truth, and an underlying order in everything that is balanced by its own inner law bound to a justice that cannot be experienced with our outer senses. It is the one law we cannot challenge without severe consequences both to ourselves and to the surrounding nature. It is experienced in the consciousness as the spontaneous insight that follows us from within. A light that is accompanied by the insight that allows us to see through things and what happens, and that it is a natural balance between who I am and the morality that is included in it.

I know, this may seem strange, but it is my description of the sense of context and relationship I have with the nature that I grew up with. Both internally and externally. My inner conversation has been going on there since early childhood, though not visible to those around me other than during spontaneous outbursts of insight that were not immediately seen or recognised as a result of my age. I lived with it and trusted it.

When I am now able to formulate it as a psychic reality, and also try to understand the influence it has had on me in all the contexts I have been in, where it has been expressed, I can see how bound I am to nature. To a much larger immense whole, and to those who have existed before me, and those who are close to me now. It is in the mutual interaction with all this that made it possible for me to approach my inner other.

It’s like finding a myth I lived with, and have tried to grasp and understand. I have related to it in various parts linked to my origin that kept it alive. But then my spontaneous interest spread to the Egyptian creation story through the discovery of Maat. The balance in everything I have struggled with since the age of 28. And Atum, the underlying psychic substance everything is made of, and my being is connected to, the ongoing creator, father and king, or why not our spontaneous insights of the undercurrents we see of ourselves in events and people from the larger whole of our interior, and in parts of a totality that is transferred to an external authority. Also, Nut and Geb. The experience of the depths of the sky above us, and our physical connection to the earth, to the sun, to Ra, our consciousness that is accompanied across the sky by reflection and balance, with Maat, and Toth’s insight, to re-emerge from Nut in a daily recurrence. When Nut and Gebs embrace release their grip and become a new day. I can go on, it’s an inspiring story that constantly gives me mental nourishment every day. Not the story in itself but the experience it contains for me. And it makes sense to get out of bed early and listen to how it interacts with me in relation to my surroundings. Listening to my timeless nights, and go hiking. It makes what I perceive within me an absolutely living reality. And I can formulate something that is otherwise only experienced, and realise that it is something that I actually live in. Generally I do not like to personify it, but in different contexts it feels wonderful to me when the two are connected as a single whole, because it makes me return again to where my first experience of it came from.

I can see no other purpose in my life than to continually strengthen the bonds I have with experiences that I make of this kind. Without them, everything just becomes empty words.

are we just trying find the balance of the world

For a very long time, there has been an imbalance between our physical life and that which gives it its value. It emerges in relationship to our internal representative, or double in our psychic reality. The timeless human potential in our being that senses the transpersonal through our environment, without which there is no reference to our existence. It is the world, the forests, the mountains, the rivers, the living forms of reality underlying the world that perceive itself through us. The world as Nature within. We interact with these forms when they influence us. This imbalance of Nature we live in is beginning to make us acknowledge the sensorial world’s independence of us. To make us return to the wholeness of life. Instead of destroying the world while it is watching us doing it from within of ourselves.

the underlying reality of being a parent

In my 5 year old grandson I can see how he struggles to develop a sense of independence to the often violent forces that affect him as he tries to create his relation to them. How he alternates between independence and struggle through what is transmitted by him to his parents, and the need for tenderness and care that he is strengthened by having, in that struggle with them. Often to the embarrassment of not feeling that there is an independence between those forces and his parents. I think that’s the cause of a lot of confusion and abashment when we’re at that age. Through cultural constraints, we inhibit access to our psychic origins and to our transpersonal environment. Which only increases the vulnerability we feel. Because this experience will also determine how we are coming to deal with our Nature as we proceed further into our lives. This is what I see of myself in my grandson, and where the groundwork for our relationship to the transpersonal is laid. I have never before imagined that there could be a mutual task to develop that independence together with our children. Now I can see that without it, there can be no access to our own nature, and they cannot find theirs.

animism is today’s attribution of conscious life to events and objects

Religion has not been practiced in our churches for a very long time. I can barely understand how that can be possible in a building. Instead, it is lived out in a hidden way in politics, in sports and in music, in arenas, and on social media. There, the psychology of our religious life is expressed spontaneously, often with the violent influence its full power has over us as Nature. People seem to live in a severe lack of receptivity that rests on the absence of being an active part of that nature that allows one to exist as a reflective human being in a living world, and without a reference for one‘s own existence. We thereby block our perceptual reciprocity with that beingness, and go crazy. This is the animism of modern man that has been transferred to indigenous peoples still in contact with their traditional transpersonal life by suppressing it in them, and replace it with our own helplessness. No academic jargon can help us, or explain away the raw power of our direct experiences of the nature of which we are a part.

we are referenced by something experiencing itself

All true life experiences are based on the act of seeing through events to detect what it is that gives them their value. What at first seems to be personal, changes when we suddenly experience its underlying reality, where everything is saturated with psychic meaning and has hidden connections with transpersonal powers. It manifests in and through the participation of our beingness with the energies of life. Their intentions overlap all people and events to include the whole of nature with its personal and collective revelations. It is exactly this that make us sense what it is that is half about our life, and of each other.

the power of experience

What is perceptionally referred to as an archetype and its similar diversity of experiences in a psychological sense, has its equivalent in the exterior where we call them concepts and facts. It is not too far-fetched to also refer to it as things of the spirit world because its content originally seems to arise from there with our desire to understand how it relate to us. To get answers from the infinity that exists everywhere around and inside of us at the same time, we ask for it and it comes to our aid. We can just as easily call where psychology affect our bodies to pray. Because the substance and intensity of the powers that then appears to us there is common to us all. It does not matter how different temporal minds have referred to them. We still have to ask them by praying because we have reached as far as consciousness will let us. We can settle for the answer we get and move on as if nothing has happened. As a young mind do. But in the long run we are better off by also recognising those who assist us from there.

our nature does not like to be trapped in people, ideas or in things

To be out in the mountains, in nature, is to be close to the force that is both the whole that surrounds us and that which is the Nature that is within us. What we feel we are embraced by, and talk to within ourselves, and relate to in others. Which constantly reappears in and around everything. There we are close to what it is and the place it is in. And we hear ourselves most clearly there. The closer we can get them to each other, the healthier and more genuine we feel. Nothing may come in that changes and destroys it. Or try to replace us with what is already there. In that silence, we are close to it both in a bodiless, and in a physical sense. In integrity, independence and spontaneity. We materialize it in us. We sense it in certain places and with certain people. Often as something intensely alive and in parallel with our collective order. But not everyone realize it as within them. They experience it only on someone or in something. In something that has been. In some historical sense, in mobile phones, media or in buildings that will try to determine to us what it is. But our Nature only becomes violent then. And destructive. She has never liked being trapped. At all.
It’s like the ultimate challenge. Testing our courage. If we can face it, or continue to be children in relation to our being. One aspect of that is perseverance. This is why every traditional initiation ceremony has copied the element of mental pain and transferred it into a ceremony. This is what we reject and diagnose away. We make it a medical condition. Far from the experience we have of our nature. Which then drives us mad. This is where we learn that there are forces that are much greater than us that we must live with. Where words just become empty. To feel genuine is to experience love, integrity, creativity and sexuality also as independence. It’s energy. To be our nature without shame or guilt. We feel guilt and shame when we cannot share it. When we mutilate ourselves for those who do not want to see it in themselves.

the Nature that embraces us and the I-ness that materializes it

Since someone close to me goes through what I myself have gone through, and I had to formulate that intensity again, and for someone else this time. This in turn became what follows below. It really makes one feel genuine, to be able to share the force of experiences like this. But it is not just a one time event. I admit it is quite violent the first time, but this connection and its movement back and forth, between and into psychic events and back to the world of I-ness is something that is happening on a daily basis, and all the time. It really makes one feel genuine, to be able to share the force of experiences like this.
In our conversation with ourselves, friction always arises if we do not “materialize” the energy that arises there, and convert it into something physical. It then wells up and almost floods us. It’s nature. Our Nature. The raw natural power that exists “within” our personal space. And it feels like the more friction we can bear, the more of that nature we can receive. Like we become more us. That we are both independent of others, and lonely containers of this together with them. We “burn”, and it almost drive us mad. But at the same time we begin to see the difference between our life energy, what it is, and that Nature that we want to experience more of. We feel involved in ourselves and in it as an independent force that exists everywhere and in everything. A living entity or world soul. But above all, we see that when we are not really connected to it, there is only an undeveloped and unspoken demand for compliancy. Since those who have not endured the friction created within them must constantly “have” that power from others. Own it through them. Like children we believe that we can constantly get it just by wanting it. Not because it is a shared energy. As a child, it is an absolute necessity to experience it like that at first. But beyond our childhood, it is a have to, to discover that it is not dependent on anyone else. But that it exists within and through us. That we may own and express it as the natural force it is and that it exists between the I-ness and the self that materializes it. It is life-energy, self-preservation, creativity, sexuality and the integrity we express in the psychic space that exists between us, which acts on us from the Nature that is our common source. It is raw power. Unfiltered, unwavering and not diluted by “rules” about how it should be rather than what it actually is. It is as if we descend into our being, and finds the space where we become objects of the forces that exist in a Nature that are greater than us. As children we need rules and regulations to handle it. As initiated adults we have an approach. With statistics, we treat people like cattle, with experience as individuals. It is the way of life.

we are nature as one

When I am out hiking or in the woods, or in the mountains, I have always felt seen by the nature that surrounds me. It has confirmed me through my experience of it. It is as if the nature that I myself consist of has been confirmed by the one who surrounded me. But since adolescence there has also been a worriness that did not belong there. It was bigger when I was not out in nature, and almost completely disappeared when I was in it. Later in life it has come back from time to time. And been strongest in periods when I was far from nature. Since it did not originate from there, I began to wonder where it came from, and I realized that it was transmitted. I have always enjoyed spending time with myself. I have never been worried about it, instead it has been the other way around. I liked that more than spending it with people. So I left my thoughts on it a bit half conscious and waited to get an answer. And some time ago, I got it.
Loneliness is often not perceived as the integrity we need in our conversation with ourselves. Or as our need to develop an individual independence to the psychological powers that influence us. I began to see that I had taken over other people’s anxiety about this, their loss of an active inner conversation because as a young person I semi-consciously sensed that it was trying to exist in people between them and themselves. It is like living in a world of intentions but without form or material reality. I wanted them to formulate what this was. Their abscense became my concern. And a period before my teens, this substance became so difficult that I became afraid of the dark. It had gone so far that I was constantly aware of the influence it had on the mood of my environment. How that affected them. Made them distracted and disappear. I felt abandoned in their darkness. As if their association with themselves was somehow connected to my presence. That was what I later took with me out into nature. Sometimes I did not feel part of it at all, but I was tense and anxious all the time. It was new to me and the longer I was out the more relieved I became until it almost disappeared. But the feeling has come and gone all the time until the answer came. Even the fear of the dark reappeared when I lost touch with my nature. But then I realized that it was not mine. It was someone else’s, and a worry that was placed in me to try to control me with christian guilt. For a while, it even took my nature away from me. Imagine my surprise when this came back much later in my life to force me to go through it again. And this time I could see where it came from. Because it was an unconscious need to adress what I perceived in my parents, it created the constant attention for this that I carried with me into adolescence. And since it was an unconscious need that was not mine and yet obvious to me, it also came to be portrayed as fear of the dark. As an unknown influence. A darkness from outside for what was not yet comprehensible that affected me. To a child this is what was once called black magic. But now I could really see that when we loose the relation to the nature that exists all around us, and which is also something that interacts with that which exists within us, then we may come to replace it with an unhealthy need for attention and care that extends too far beyond our own integrity, which accompanies the anxiety that arises from causes that made us loose it. But most importantly, when it comes to children, it is important that they get to know that it is not theirs to worry about, or carrying. It will only obscure the view of the relationship we must establish with our raw nature within, which make us one with it outside of us. Any genuine relation depend on it.

through birth back into a psychic essence

I have never really found myself in any way related to Buddhism in general. Nor to Tibetan Buddhism with its llamas. A very long time ago, I read Alexandra David-Néel, her stories and experiences during her travels in Tibet. I loved her adventures. But it never got me into Buddhism. It was too abstract, I had no experience I could dress with its teachings. I did not understand it. Because there was something else that was still dormant in me. I have long since forgotten her stories and looked with some skepticism at people who for various reasons became Buddhists because my experiences were never so abstract. But so today, out of nowhere, it dawned on me. I do not know for what reason. But suddenly I realized that my I-ness, ego, or bodily center in a world of matter, is what returns to our objective person, who is the one who constantly returns to this world. It is the objective personality that is reborn. Our ego is created as its relation to the temporal and we develop our egos as parts of that in time. To establish this connection. It is truly a far-reaching idea that there are people who throughout their lives practice an approaching to our objective timeless personality in order to constantly develop it in its relationship to each return. Perhaps with the intention that it matures to such an extent, and becomes so aware of itself in us, that it experiences its own conscious presence in every human being regardless of time itself. Like it is moving in and out of time without loosing its knowledge about who it is in between every specific location it enters in time. This must really be the crown of the work of human achievement. And humanity at its best. To develop the recurring aspect of human consciousness that exists independently in every human being. Now I think I know something about the inner workings of Buddhism that make it a lot more accessible to me. Something that is also present in all indigenous peoples experiences of all living things. It is only expressed in other ways. This vision was about the essence of man. Of what we do or do not do with it. And how we relate to it. It handed me a different way of looking at the world. I think that the traditional Sami notion of Radien-attje and Radien-giedde is the equivalent of this kind of buddhist experience.

into the minds of creation

Yarning is a wonderful australian aboriginal way of learning used to expand on the traditional way of seeing through events and experiences, to connect to and share that which gives them its value in an agreed context with one another. To become one with creation together, and explore its emerging patterns. We can get glimpses of them in our daily lives. We meet people or find ourselves in places where creation suddenly connect us and we open up to have an experience. But yarning is a deliberate gathering, provoked by the urge to see what the patterns of creation want to spin for us. For me this is what learning is all about. What genuine relationships are made of. But I have always been muted by the fact that I have never been in a learning environment where there has been a clear relationship to creation as it appeared in me, or in other people and places. I have learned a lot of things, but nothing that had anything to do with the experiences I had, or the life they connected me to. There have been personal moments when it has happened, but most of the time people I have met have felt uncomfortable both in a physical and mental sense, of being outside the generally accepted, of what is already thought and known. I have always felt genuine in the presence of the ongoing of creation, it is very powerful.