observing the game of sensations

By combining experiences from both Indian meditation practice where one seeks the truth one experiences directly within oneself, and the separation that this can entail with the traditional initiation that is inherent in nature itself where soul is manifested spirit and the direct knowledge and insight we experience there, we simultaneously bring together the imaginative quality and function we have within ourselves with the origin of the experiences we have when we formulate and portray them. It is this ability to portray them as within a psychic space that I want to call soul. The initial undeveloped jumble of ideas, opinions, impressions and instincts that we first encounter in it before we have undergone the practice of self-observation that allows us to see beyond this chaotic disorder, into an inspiring mental state of direct knowledge and insight, is what I like to call spirit. This is something I encountered when I was very young but without being able to put into words what was happening within me. It was much later that I would understand it outside of the conditions I was facing. But soul in relation to land and to the psychic space it contains for the information that arises in it was something that was in me from the beginning. It is even possible to say that the inspiration that arose within me as an original guiding principle first arose from the landscape in which I grew up. It was manifested in it through the seclusion and in the closeness I experienced in my proximity to nature. For me, it was a very early self-observant daily practice in experiencing the inner truth and the real directness that the awareness of this connection brings when the mind is concentrated and manifested as psyche. Not just as something within myself but as something inherent in nature itself. It also became confusing early on to see this incoherent jumble of impressions outside the environment I grew up in when they were expressed directly without their origin being known or in any way noticed. Learning to see past it and into the emptiness that it had become was incredibly painful and something that lay dormant in me only to become something much later to be encountered again and, out of pure self-preservation, to go through, albeit as an adult. In ancient Sami tradition, they were part of nature and conceptualized as Rádienáhttje, as the inspirer of direct knowledge and wisdom, materialized and embodied as experience in everything everywhere as the nature of Rádienáhkká. But also as part of an androgynous totality beyond them, in our first encounter with it, and we no longer immediately identify ourselves with every whim, a nothingness, of which they were parts with masculine and feminine traits. It was something one likened to nature’s own inner law, which one was called to and encountered and matured from in self-observant solitude, alone with oneself in nature.