the unfolding depths of totality

I have always had a relation to a kind of source in a middleness as a part of a relation to infinity. A space that existed before everything. It’s like an interior non-empirical realm that doesn’t consist of material things, but of forms from which everything then emerges. Its like a part of us is the offspring of a separation between that unfolding space and nature itself. A beingness where our model or preformed original individuality appears. Creating this expanse together with a true relation to nature, and to earth itself whose forms appear as physical structures of thoughtlike concepts in our mind. Its like experiencing the living reality behind imagined creation as the vertical experience of the flow of life in an opening to the universal depth in its perceptivity of influence and inspiration. A kind of beginning caused by the union of a psychological space that all things are made​​ of, and the very substance of which every psyche is in its material form, in Mother earth. In relation to them there is this personal being. Our duplicate who lives in the world of the middle as a child, and it is tied to every person in a kind of fate. But the influence of this expanse and ”our” relation to earth cling onto one another in an eternal embrace, leaving no space for our individuality, for any light and air of the world to get through. Consequently, this interior twin, this child, is trapped in their eternity. Fighting for air and for beingness. This is the empirical world as an emanation out of potentiality. These forms of energy are very real, even though they are not immediately visible to us, but they have the potential to appear in the world and act in it. Ask anyone in love. Or anyone who is opposed to something. It is the interior world of our imagination which transforms itself into culture by our actions.

where to find a way of recovery of our personal space

Listening to the quarrels in the current collective space of projected narcissism, and to the politics of a lost cultural memory, which is the reality as it is conveyed by today’s journalism. Is to listen to how we add our personal problems to our shared space and then merge that with our collective individuality. By further adding to this mixed up complexity, we blend the unprocessed reality of our interior space from which we are cut off, with other people’s personal problems and lost sense of having that beingness. We then try to recruit others to a cause where there is already too much of a “cause”, and hide our loss of being a person in our own right in social issues where we then constantly try to recruit more and more people into our own sense of isolation, and then spread this madness around us in our sufferings and lack of genuine relationships with others on a personal level. No one really asks the important question; How do we bring our personal values ​​as individuals into our social sphere, instead of constantly trying to create the fear that this space will become violated by us and others, acting as recruiters to some cause, where we just isolate and distance each other further from the reality and experience of our own true nature. Which is the flow of psychic life that lives in everything, and all things are made of.

communicating beyond the essential privacy of individual subjective experience

We have these presences which formulate our energy when they accumulate over time. They transform our experiences of individual consciousness into a living existential confirmation of cultural imagination when they emerges and come into being to embody this nearby realm from which all beings originate and visit us. They are our forgotten ancestors beyond what our thoughts want to accept about the interior reality of this world. We are standing on the edge of our collectives lost memory, but we still carry its traditions like a second identity, or angry twin, showing us a direct connection to these forms of life and a world of nature. On a personal level, they are most often manifested when our creative impulses are compulsively transformed into facts, or into a policy that we materialize by turning them into impregnable ideas, which are accompanied by the raw instincts of our nature that we ignore. This is the reason there is a constant revolt inside all modern societies. It is this petrified human view that will also ultimately always leads to its collapse. I think it is about individual mental hygiene. This angry and frustrated twin is the one who is telling us if we are losing contact with our true nature. If we do not respect the processes of transforming imagination to culture wherever it occurs. Because he is the offspring of mother earth, and without a relationship to her, he will roam around in the wild without any close contact to real human relationships. No wonder he goes crazy and doesn’t trust people.


The vertical system of the world

When it is incomprehensible that the transforming of imagination to culture is natures vertical system of the world, or interior pillar, that we are not restricted to the one-dimensional horizontal world we are custom to, and that a vertical cosmological image of an axis involves a conception of a break in the homogeneity of the world as an opening of a passage between different states of our psychic life. We loose the representation of what makes certain places special to us. We loose our connection to life and to earth as we enter it from a world within in adolescence. With this axis, we transform our world. This is expressed by the communication we have with it. Because it forms an important link to our reality. Today this image contains a view understood only as hierarchies in collective individualism. But hierarchies are distorted projections of this image as a center of our world which connects people both to the above and to the world below by reflection. We live and travel up and down on this axis, and we find people along its entire stretch. This is our opening to transcendence and to a vertical world of a naturally maturing consciousness. But as long as we see this system of the world not as a dimension of having access to a psychic realm beyond projected narcisissm or collective individuality, but as something material in the sense of socio-political or philosophical ideas forced on people around us, we will not have this kind of communication with ourselves. Because behind all our different combinations of hierarchies is this experience of a center, a world that lies around an internal axis that we climb up and down together. This vertical climb does not depend on any combination of collective identities such as gender, race, social class, profession, nationality or religion.

a sense of oneness

There is a fundamental and underlying similarity throughout life that organizes and integrates our experiences. It is also so consistent over time and space, and creates such an identification to my person that it gives rise to a specific sense of relation to being in its procedural form of reflective experience. I perceive it as the great animating force of unity, of “an interior type of constant renewal”, that dissolves the boundary between nature and culture in a way that makes us understand humanity and nature as one. It is this notion of a cumulative, practical and subjective experience of the environment, and the collective experience of the relationships that we as humans enter into, where we become participants in nature’s own emerging process of reflective self-awareness and continuous rebirths in the cycles of life.

about the movie – The Wind

In the movie “The Wind (2018)” we get to follow how we face our interior life in the shape of a woman. Like her, it is done with a disconnected collectives mindset, stuck on the prairie without a living communion to the environment. So that place becomes forbidding and it will be perceived as something wild and hostile that must be cultivated. That’s why it turns violent on her when it is being neglected for trying to relate her back to its origin through her. In this way, the woman comes into conflict with her own interior in the form of a vision of a ghostly priest when she tries to force her collective individuality to the land during her attempts to apply a relation to nature, outside of nature’s own inherent moral conditions. But her true nature is much closer to the earth and wants to use her connection to reality as a means of reinterpretation, and to create a new perspective on their relationship. But her principles of life seems to be in contradiction to the personal nature of her unprocessed mind and religious views. She fails to establish a relation to the flow of her imagination, and to her life as an ongoing individual process connected with earth and to a reflection on her relation its imagery. As with people of today, this is driving her out of her mind. She get lost in herself, and in the end, she becomes a victim of her inner world, and her own nature as it tries to be recognized even without her commitment. To sum up, this is a frighteningly realistic movie on what is happening to us in the world today. As individuals we get lost on the prairie. Our inner house is constantly assaulted by forces out of our control. We try to keep them away with a compulsively rational attitude. With ideas about what it is that haunts us. But no ideas can prepare us for this reality since our ideas are that reality. They emerge out of it. Also, we can visualise this movie as an image of a collective, as the raw unprocessed nature of what may be behind the attitude of the west and the impression we get from modern United States. And looking at it from yet another perspective, if we don’t listen to that continuous voice we have of mother earth, to being, we will get lost in it. Her dreams in our interiors will become confusing and incomprehensible. The relationship we have with our living environment will turn itself into a nightmare.

about identity and origin

In a way I imagine that people are coming from a living “subterranean” depth of psychic origin. Its like we are beings in an energy field of potentiality in which we are undifferentiated from every other form of life. To experience this we have to go to the regions ”under” the world, and transform our physicality. It is after we have emerged from this potentiality that we distinguish our place of origin from anatomy and physical appearance although it is still present in us. But still, we are constantly growing and developing this reality through our birth and by the relationships we have with other people, and in this way we are also continuing this extended world by constantly processing it in our contemporary relationships. I think it is out of this we experience our identity, and it is as much procedural as it is relational.

life is a sacrament

We all need calories and carbohydrates along with a variety of nutrients and minerals of this earth to live. These nutrients are energy. We are made of this earth and we need elements of earth that contains its potency. It is this energy that flows through all life. We get this energy through animals and plants when it is transmitted to us by ingesting it as food. In this way, all life is a sacrament and we pass it on by transforming this energy as our mental conceptions into social reality. The meaning of this is that we have the ability to become persons who know the difference between the interiority and the physicality of the world. And without an interior relation to earth there can be no morals. We have no integrated experience of space and time, and of this energy as a unifying life force behind the emergent structures of culture and society. Of nature and our environment. This energy constitutes the ever-unfolding process of reality and it insists on a space of relations based on its own conditions.

Behind the composition of my world

We all live in this basic underlying continuum of ontological similarities that organize and integrate experience. It is so consistent over space and time that it actually extends beyond what can possible be described by any singular timespan alone. All life emanates from this active principle. It is what I always associate with intentionality, the endless return of all there is, of creation, of creativity, and of the interiority of all forms of life. For me, this is the ever unfolding process of reality.

now is everywhere in time

I have spent most of my time since my late twenties trying to deal with what was then the emergence of new forces that came to the surface from within, and to adapt them to my life. At that time I also had to become them. It’s been a while, and I’ve been trying to find out what form they have by formulating them, trying to make them human, following their purpose to find out what this means to me and listen to what they have to say. This was something that came naturally to me because at that point in my life I felt that I had to take back my projected identity and retrieve it from the group or collective mind to integrate it with my own true nature. My old forms and their expressions have since decreased in strength. The energy they had conveyed was no longer there, and their old purpose was no longer serving me in my life. The new energies that appeared to me at that time are still here, but in a larger sense as subjects in a we-field, and I am more there with them than they are here in me. I’m still trying to bring them into my life. They talk, I listen and wait. Above all, I wait all the time. Since I always have to compare my impressions with them, let them articulate me and hope that their origins, which I share with other people, also link me to my own.

I look into a dead society

We have experienced the colonization of psychic reality and its resulting disregard for the societal systems, its beliefs, and support structures, fundamental for us in processing the experience of nature as representatives of an inner realm we have elaborated to culture for generations. This was something central to the well-being of people and communities. But our cultural body of today no longer supports the reality of this connection. This intrusion into the human world of morals and society have wreaked havoc in people an created an illness that manifests itself between the agencies of our shared nature, behind the scenes of the visible world, and the definition of ourselves as members of a greater community. People no longer know how to contain or express the activity of their own invading nature. And the societies of today cannot maintain that integrity, so people feel separated from their communities by the intensity of felt inner experience and turn against its lack of facing true reality. This is what every upheaval of a modern society is really about. Its about our projected narcissism and its one-sided collective individualism. And speaking collectively, it is the extraverted opposite of the madness in the Middle Ages. What I am trying to say is, we should be very careful with what we add to other people, since the problems of being an individual often stems from the crushing demands of collectivity and its unrelatedness in being cut-off from a genuine connection to the forces of our inner nature. It does not matter how skilful or well thought of a theory about the psyche or diagnosis is if it doesn’t relate to our personal experience of psychic reality.

solitude is also my presence in you

When solitude becomes compulsive like in an illusory blame, thinking about ourselves as a one-sided, non-related, self-sufficient being, we deny the inner reality of others as well as we deny our own. This seems to happen when people are not aware of what we add to others, not realising what that contains. Most people just become frightened by this sudden experience of fragmentation and turn to group thinking, and some put their beliefs in a special group as a body for this unsettlement. Often characterizing themselves as equally special or chosen by elitism. They don’t see it as projected narcissism. Or as an unrelated collective individualism. All kinds of tragic things then happens when we are not ready to be visited by our raw unprocessed nature that formulates itself through us in the realm of our shared psychic reality.
We fall victim to isolation. And to the individual problems of other people thinking about themselves as singular beings cut off from the reality we share from within. Contrary to this, solitude is about being present in what is behind the world. With or without the shared presence of others.

about psychological solitude

There is this compulsive force or quality inherent in us. It is as if nature itself wants to re-link our mind to where it came from. To its origins. And if we don’t do it and process our raw nature, or develop our relation to it. It will just continue to use us for its own ends and live itself out in the world without us. We will just tare ourselves, our  relations and the world apart.
Wait, isn’t that what we are doing right now?Seeking fullfillment at the expense of others. Displacing our relationship to how we imagine our unworked nature within.

being is close to life

There is an active, intelligent consciousness in the space that is us. We turn it into a common me and our relationships between you and me in an independent interaction. It is like a timeless body of now, everywhere at the same time. It is also a body with a kind of shared participatory power and knowledge outside of the individuality that is common to all of us, and in this way it is also a non-material experience of an immediate space of information that wants to be expressed by itself through us. Here we take the invisible to the visible and materialize our non-material reality. Our senses are part of this space with our impulses, and we cease to exist as a property of mass and become patterns of psychic energy. These patterns, or forms of energy, determine the true nature of our relationships, and we visualize the order of this information as we interact in this shared energy space between us.
We move into it, release our physical energy, show ourselves, and then flow apart, but we can stay in touch and act as if we were one thing, no matter how far apart we are. We are these shared mind-like forms of a potential that finds its reality in us. It both directs and coordinates our flow of life whether we want it or not.
It is as if our choices are being routed and meandering along an internal roadmap.

a new morning

I am sleeping where my head flowers
like a warm garden inside your dancing hands
It is a silk dance
displaying our clotted adornments
in coagulated tears of white frost
On this fur of cold interstellar diamond winds
that pulls the nighttime horses on the pillows
of timeless marble to harvest our bodies
in a volume of lunar flesh
I will always wear your morning ceremonies
in mosaic adoration of sparkling daylight sins
Born by gentle sirens legs
with the color of my salt
blessed by the praying postures that you close
by means of that which I will always greet you kindly
with my lips at the foot of the sky
so many of us has forgotten




What is not obvious in poems like this
is that its energy content does not belong to anyone,
It is something that relates to a source outside of us,
which is then added to someone.
But we cannot be this other,
because this one other than us
has their own relationship to this source
as defined by that person
The thing is,
that its real meaning, comes from
how we then formulate that relationship
in ourselves
and follows it back
to its true origin
Because it is from this reality
in that space between us all
everything begins.

the second birth of life

When experiencing our second birth we experience the substance of which our being is made of. I have spent most of my life to come to after being overwhelmed by this. Here we meet the very source and ideas expressed by psyche on itself. This is a shattering experience of raw nature in the flow of undifferentiated existence in the great mother nature of the unconsciuos. We turn our existence into a place of between in a vertical mode of being where the axis of the world is an internalized experience of the inviolable, and to a sacralisation of nature both within and without. It is our bare bone symbolic death, and the threshold through which imagination is poured into us as raw nature turning chaos into cosmos. Life itself becomes a sacrament. We are pushed into a tremendously painful and desorientating experience of life where we discover that we are not only in nature but of nature. Initially, we are really acting as we are crazy if it is viewed only from the point of view of some compulsive cultural ordinariness. After an experience like this, one will really become a bit odd to others for the rest of one’s life. But I liked the discussions I had in solitude long before that. Or as a young woman once told me: ”You are born in the wrong time!”. Now I can respond to her: A part of me are.

the all-encompassing intensity of our nature

We are constantly being intruded on by raw nature, and it behave so autonomously. It can literally deny tangible reality, and claim priority over of it, so we are in no way sheltered by our outer senses. These experiences does not proceed from physical facts, but from how we perceive them since we are not only in nature, we are nature. Nature is in us, in raw unprocessed form. And we evolve in this relation since it expands in us. It is this unconditional aspect of nature that we share with everyone else. We are made of this earth. From this eternal field of energy behind all creation. It is mother earths own source of dreamings behind life. Without working this connection there can be no morals. We become purely instinctual creatures in an undifferentiated existence. It is by processing our relationship with her our imaginations are transformed into social reality.

it is as though we were one thing

Just think about it. Two or more people can access the same content of the psyche and share the experience of that content with each other however different they perceive that content to be between them. Haven’t we all been in love?
We use expressions like, I, me, my. And you, we, or us to tell the difference.
When we have trouble agreeing with its content it is common to group it together like in they, that and them to distance us from it, or just treat some of its content as if it were not part of our psyche.
Throughout my life, I have longed for, and searched for this type of connection just to find that most people don’t want to have anything to do with it. Which makes it almost impossible to access life with that kind of relationship in mind. There is a too big a difference between boosting our self-appreciation through others, and establishing a relationship with this shared content of raw nature. So it has been purged from our reality and become limited only to what is useful in a social sense.

a world of imagination

People in the world seems so out of themselves, so far off into a dreamstate of all kinds of imaginations, that they cannot even begin to realize that what they do to each other and to the world is created by their own staged actions in relation to the contents of a shared psychic reality, that they experience in a unique and personal way. And since this reality is common to us all, and when unrecognised, we blame people around us and ”others”, for the dramas we provoke out of our own imagination when we pull them into our force field. And we are going to blame them for not acting according to the laws of the script of our thick, unbreathable and heavy goo of projected expectations. In reality, they just resist being held hostage by another person’s unprocessed nature of psychology.

on the nature of between

When I feel moved by raw nature within, or sense the desire to formulate things, or create things, I am obeying this ancient human urge to process nature in human form. I don’t do this for mental health, I do it because I want to feel real. And I don’t do it because of some collective disobediance to adjust, but because I want to feel alive. To dare to be on the border of each other. And to be on the border of raw nature, whether its experienced inside of me, or in someone else. Either way, I will always be in between.
I have no choice in the matter.

on the experience of uniqueness

We all fall in love. Duh. And the feeling is common to everyone. Duh. But we can only experience it individually and personally. Also duh. When we are in it, it will really make us feel unique. The same is true with all other experiences that moves us whether it’s just this one experience we want to share with others, or it’s something else we all have within us. Being intruded upon by raw nature makes us feel unique. And we sense ourselves as equally unique however we come to express it. But when we do, it is not doing it that makes the other unique. It is his or hers own experience that does it. There are so many other things that makes the other a unique person, without what we add to that person. So the real question is whether what is left in that other person without us will be enough for a lasting relationship afterwards. When our sense of feeling unique needs us to share more of our unique experiences. For the more we share, the richer the relationship becomes and vice versa. But in order to share the personal experiences of our nature, it has to be processed a little because we can’t share them raw. Much of it may also be new to us. We don’t really know how to relate to it yet. But we must dare to access it, be what it wants. Not through anyone else. But to access it as something that is also part of everyone else in a non-processed form. Just like when we’re in love. It is actually a little strange that so few dare what we experience beyond the initial intoxication of it. But to make us feel more real we all want to be more in a relationship, not less. We want to feel a little intoxicated by ourselves. But together. We just have to go after it.

personal experience is statistics

Myth is the statistical accumulation of collective psychological dynamics experienced by individuals in a personal way. Through myth we can access our inner experiences and express them as statistical references in the symbolic language of self observation.
What I am saying is, that there are more than one way to deal with statistical analysis. At least when we talk about our imagination as experience. When we come to the current scientific view of man, the prevalent statistical approach, it is far from the study of man as an experiential being.
From a point of view of any psychology, I think the processing of imagination as inner reality through symbols and metaphors is the human perspective of lived statistical analysis.

all nature is a psychic substance

Sedna is the inuit mythic representative of the Great Mother forces of nature. Of our flow of life viewed from the inside out. If we look more closely at the unity of nature and culture we all become part of the nature of Sedna. We have to attend to her as a representative of the realm of inner life, because every time we have a creative impulse that moves us, we are visited by raw nature trying to formulate itself through us in the feeling of psychic nourishment from her. She does this in order for us to transform our emotional bind to her, and relocate our body to life, while we turn this relation into something less material, and to abstract forms of mental or psychic representations.
It’s like we have to “penetrate nature so deep that it becomes spirit. -Robin Van Loeben Sels.”

the subjective experience of bleakness

Sometimes I feel like an intermediary connection between something old and fusty, and something else in the middle of our everyday lives, and a real dimension of reality: between an old, unkind feeling of being enclosed in someone else, and what is my own natural sense of raw individual strength that is brought about by all the transferred needs scattered all around me.

about our psychological survival

If people could only conclude that what we call culture has always been a world in which our individual imagination creates our social reality, and that our personal experience of what we are, creates a perception of our being out of this in itself. And that this distinction between the two, is about the survival of both our inner and outer world. From all of the reality that we can choose to create, we choose the one with a distorted view of how our source of raw nature is related to culture.
We seem to have lost contact with this, and the primordial ancestors we carry within us as a psychological reality. And that has become our social reality.

on the symbolic sense of the world

There is a symbolic language of reflection that we observe in our inner space which emerge between ourselves and the world of others. It is a listening to interpret a voice that contains a sense of meaning. It cannot be learned by memorizing facts like we do with the ego since this is our primordial voice. Both men and women must really question themselves and focus on it because the reflection it creates is our own voice. Otherwise we will just become parrots by quoting and copying what we have heard, or learned from whatever source of importance we have committed ourselves to. In the end we have to make up our own mind. And learn its language to find out in what way we can hear it most clearly. To really listen to what it has to say about us, about our experiences, and of that which we are behind our impulses. The person we are without reflection. Only then the world becomes a world with others. A world that make ”sense” to us. With a language of the sensens. Not a world of opressive opposites.

another reason why we celebrate Christmas

In contradiction to what christianity had led us to believe, and later american consumerism, I suggest that Santa Claus origin is rather to be found in the northern folklore figure of Väinämöinen, the hero creator of our world anew. And in the stories about him where he is viewed as the bringer of conciousness. A seer and creator. A bard, and the spirit of chants, songs and poetry.

Väinämöinen is thus very far from the figure we invigorate our children with today. And he has nothing to do with our present day view of Santa Claus or its Christian substitution Saint Nicholas.

Väinämöinen is connected to the foundation of the world pillar, also thought of as the “world tree” that was thought to rest on the Pohjantähti or the North Star holding up the world. This is the very star that we put at the top of the christmas tree.
The north star and its position in the sky is also what guides the noadi heroes to seek marriage with the daughters of Pohjola. Here in Pohjola the female Louhi is the powerful and evil witch queen ruling over this northern realm with her ability to change shape and weave mighty enchantments. She is a queen of great powers and she request a payment for the hands of her daughters in marriage. Without payment she will not take on any of the character traits we experience of her in the shape of them. We have to give something up for her to show herself. Louhi also sets difficult to impossible tasks to perform in order to claim such a prize, which leads to the forging of the Sampo.
The sampo is one such payment, a magic mill of plenty which churns out abundance. And abundance is what we feel when we are connected to this axis or tree. Its churning lid have also been interpreted as a symbol of the celestial vault of the heavens, embedded with stars, revolving around a central axis. It can also be seen as the eternal sum of all time and our experience of being in its constant course. The relentless circling around its axis and the churning as our inner work. The ordeals we have to go through to enter her world in between. The giving of gifts as the sampo, can be seen as an act of that personal work and of our sacrifices where we submit to the experience of her, and where we learn about her true character. We have to earn her acceptance before she gets visible go us and show us some of her benevolent and helpful aspects. The hero or noaidi has to give something up for his transference and to gain entrance into Pohjola. To be able get himself this kind of a wife. Which is done with chants, songs and poetry. By developing his creative skills. Otherwise her magic influence will seduce you using your imagination. Which is was true magic is all about in our everyday life. But maybe, if he can cope with this, she might come to his support with her magical abilities in return for the efforts as he get access to the celestial world of the heavens through her. But first the noadi hero must help to keep the world up on its pillar by some sacrifice. Because if there is no pillar, there is no wife. And there certaintly is no world.
There is also a good reason for doing all this at the time of “Christmas”. Christmas is celebrated on the winter solstice when the pillar seems to be at its weakest, and almost broken on the longest night of the year. I think christmas was originally a ceremony linked to the winter solstice. And that it is a recognition of rebirth, of creating and balancing up the world again with the help of the spirit of Väinämöinen. We are trying to assemble back the lost gift. The Sampo that has been lost when stolen by Louhi, and broken into pieces. On the winter solstice we want to show that we have submitted ourselves to the search by bringing back the pieces of the sampo in our giving of Christmas gifts, to help the spirit of the noadi/hero to enter into this purely abstract place, a foreboding forever cold land far in the north. And to meet with Louhi.
By celebrating Christmas, we are actually trying to bring back the abundance of her shared space, to access what is inside it by putting the pieces back together again and go through the trials required in trying to work with Louhi in a ceremonial way.

my experience of non determinism

Every part of any consciousness is also a part of time that exists as consciousness all of the time. All we can realize about reality is what is shown as information in a time sequence where the past and the future interact with each part of itself as a single consciousness that contains all the events of all time. Therefore, when we become aware of its existance, we can experience events in our lives as something that happens because it acknowledges our individual expansion into a consciousness that is part of a greater independent sum of all time, and it interacts with us as spatial glimpses of that space as time.
We suddenly begin to experience meaning in events that happen to us. Almost like what is happening to us is in some way predetermined and organised, or arranged specifically for us in flashes of periodic patterns laid out specifically for our experiential understanding. Things start to happen to us that relates to that reality as an immediate experience independently of our rational views, or perception of causality.

space: the final frontier

I never know someone enough to really know that person. I have a perception of a person. An idea. But I never really know. I am not that person. I make judgements based on my own personality. But since I make that, I also have to admit that most of what I see in that other person is coming from me. From what I conceive about her or him.
What I can realise through experience alone, is how others by their individual expression relates to some psychological content that we may or may not have in common, and to how our personal aspects of that relates to our specific gender. We can get a hint. But this pre-manifest world is invisible to us. There must be a distorsion in this for us to be able to see it and reflect on it. Only then do we start to look behind what we put out there. And we may get a glimpse into that which distorts our relations and shapes our preconceptions. It seems almost impossible for us to enter into this space in any other way.

my psychological space also suffer from an anthropological distortion

I have ended up in non-linear space now and then in all my life. It is where I have regenerated myself and listened to another kind of “teachers”. In one form or the other, they have always had this habit of appearing when they are needed. Things just happen that somehow points me to what I had in mind at that particular moment. Small coincidences that appear as assistance to us. Like helpers. Most people around me does not recognise this. They become disoriented in a kind of nowhere. Which is horrible. I know, I have been there too. This is where we get dismembered. But since i have experienced this place from a very young age I have also learned to wait. To trust this and to listen. To look beyond the turmoil. And at those points in my life, I had to turn to what I knew were my own center of orientation, to the references that I was born with. Or get stuck in this “crazy” space of compulsive ordinariness. The reality of having this space of traditional psychological containment is a sense of having access to something timeless. Which, if not properly respected, or distorted would become profoundly harmful to everyone experiencing this. That’s why I have a problem with christianity and churches. They put this space in a building instead of under the sky. Because I think this is something that needs to be naturally enclosed and managed there. Uninhibited. Alone, by ourselves. Nothing should come in between that experience and us when we need it. With the exception of the aid of those who has been there before us. Anything else is just domestication and window dressing.

Soccer and finnish mythology

Louhi is a sorceress (noita) and the ruler of Pohjola. She has strong magical powers, and she is able to shapeshift. The name “Louhi” and it’s alternative versions are related to the word “lovi”. Lovi refers to a gap, or place in between through which a shaman could travel. This is most likely a reference to her as a Loviatar, or Louhi’s and the noita’s shamanistic abilities according to finnish mythology. She is this opening, or sacred space, as she is what we enter that is between us. And here, she may appear in many different forms since she has this ability to shapeshift. I listened in on a discussion lately where she suddenly became visible to me. By the feelings for a soccer team in Sweden she took a group of men into this middle realm. Their emotionality made her a kind of virgin mother. And in this form she instantly became untouchable. They were all spellbound by her magic. Nothing physical could enter her presence after this. She was truly invisible to them. In this form she was to be revered and protected as something not of this earth. Here she really was the wicked queen of the land beyond the crossing of a fiery stream. Which is the intense suffering we have to endure in ourselves in order for us to see her. So everyone was now intensively occupied with her, and shared her psychic energy between them while they treated this soccer team with virginal reverence. And of course, according to Louhi’s enchantment, everyone else’s team was a team of harlots and fornicators, and was talked about as such. This is also what you were if you were not in their magic circle. It was not about soccer anymore. It was about Louhi.
And suddenly I found myself to be in pohjola.

about zombie relationships

What we experience from our impulses are knowledge. When we are permissive in our spontaneity and at the same time observe it, it is knowledge. I believe that it is this ability, or the reflection it creates, that in its transferred form allows us to “lose” or forget about ourselves in our opposite gender. Its a wonderful thing too. Like when we’re in love. We have to be able to get intoxicated by ourselves. That’s how we acquire meaningful experiences. How we create our own space. There is a difference in this experience between men and women in todays world. Women sense it clearly when men are self-absorbed in their emotional lives. Or when they have to carry it for them. Men sense it when women don’t reflect, or really “think” for themselves. These experiences is the absence of self awareness. There is no personal space. We have transferred it. But no matter which, we become distanced and impersonal, and inaccessible to each other. All our relationships become zombie relationships.

about a personal center of life

I can find no center in the world by knowledge and reason alone. In this conventional space i have no immediate contact with the content of energy emanating from within myself. Or its center from which we receive our human orientation. Knowledge and reason can only become a substitute for having a true personal point of reference. Traditional space on the other hand, expands that energy and creates personally experienced values that incorporates conventional space. The problem is, if I experience this in certain places and people, How do I create a perpetual boundary, or a kind of mental enclosure for me to communicate with these kind of experiences in a regular way. Almost all of our relations to this extended space of consciousness are forgotten. It is our “crazy” space, where our ordinary consciousness is challenged, and our current life is felt as quite morbid. Most people doesn’t want to go through the individual ordeals that comes with it. Their views become quite off-putting when they habitually defend their conventional views by reason alone and prefer to stay in this horrible condition of knowledgeable anxiety. Outside of this space of eternal creation and renewal, as they are constantly putting opposites against each other. Tearing themselves and the world apart.
For the majority this intangible or unseen space is not a biochemical defect that we should “correct”. But a necessary part of our personal experience. We have just become too distant and apart from our own experiences to recognise it. It is this experience that the materialistic mind has transformed to what the philosophically oriented might call existentialism. Or whatever. The absurdity of this is to always rationalize experienced existence and turn it into a sterotyped way of thinking.

the mind of a situation or the group mind

This morning I was told about an event that is similar to what is often called a Freudian slip. In one way or the other I have thought of these things my entire life. Of some of the “zombie” motives behind our physical actions. In this particular situation it was an action that I think was due to the interference of a group mind none of the participants was aware of. They did not act out of their own minds, but out of the wishes and the internal trains of thought of a situation, or “group character”. Without going into details about it, it really struck me when it was told to me, that what was really creating a later embarrassment, or triggered this slip, was the “situation” or status of their compound mindset. They where not in themselves, as persons on their own, as individuals. What I was told would not have happened there. But still in the mind of the “situation”, where this group of people together was acting like one individual, with this one mindset in common, that mindset acted out its own intentions without this particular persons own judgement. The later embarrassment was done still in the zombie mind of this group character they had created as a form of an individual they had put together. None of them really gave this much thought, but when the act of this mindset was brought to my attention it really dawned on me how we work in most social groups. And it also became very obvious to me when we spoke about it, how the event that created an unpleasant episode later, that had to be dealt with, was created by this “character”. Most of our rational beliefs, -isms, political ideas, patriotisms and fundamentalisms grows out of this too. We really need to make ourselves aware of how we choose to give ourselves up to any “common identity” and as multiple beings of a single mind, if we ever want to be able to create good things for each other, and take responsibility for the actions we perform as part of “another” identity.

my practice of knowledge is almost ceremonial

When we attend to experience, we can say that there are two sides of it. The personal, inspirational side that is difficult to describe, and the other that is shared and defined over time through observation, memory and oral traditions. We embody it through our behavior and customs. What most people seem to have in common is this first part as a groundness of being, or primary source of inspiration which also contains a response to our personal experiences by maintaining an awareness to itself by its own constant renewal through time. And just by observing that, we really almost get like a ceremonial practice of personal knowledge from a collective source.

the world of the personal other

The mental illness created by the attitude of our world is that it does not provide any real space for the original human in each person in our public life. We do not respect that we must be given time to enter ourselves and consolidate the values of what we are that is also beyond it. We do not see our ego as a container present in a spaceless dimension perceptible in our concrete space of here and now. Or that we have experiences that originates from beyond it, from where we also find this incarnate space where infinate space in finite space interchange with values and inspiration to our personal life. We never really perceive that we have been evicted from ourselves. We just continue to make the world a private one, and it ceases to be a world for others. We merge our lack of personal space with social issues which then only increases its complexity. And we use the world as a hiding place for what must be faced on our own. The mind and the world becomes one, and it becomes an undifferentiated infantile and materialistic world. We never really face that there is a shared timeless experience dwelling among us, common to us all.
But we still generalizes, and most of us don’t even recognize what kind of relation we have to our ideas from within ourselves.
How often don’t we just quote or copy someone, or repeating what is already known. The question is, when do we really express a genuine relation to our immediate experience?

most often I am outside of my body perception

The insights we are “inspired” to by our personal impressions of an increased energy in our experiences cannot be exclusively described on the basis of our physical life. I find that the most important parts of how we acquire knowledge, and how our personality is composed is an experience that we in large part obtain outside of our body perception.

its my shared experience of place

There is an area or space between us where individual experiences and collective events form an overall comprehensibility that doesn’t originate, and cannot be explained only by the contents of my own single individual experiences alone. Its existence is apparent to us only through its effects. It is here we interact with society and other people, and where we bring experiences of the infinite and its numinous values into the social sphere of the finite.
It is an invisible state, or an active condition of pure space. Its like an awareness of an unmanifested realm present everywhere around us. We get it as an individual and personal impression, as an experience that is linked to events in our lives and can be described as having a shared access to a comprehensive and independent metaphysical information that has an impersonal origin.
The question is, where do we make room for this form of being?

I’m not an outcast from your loss of space

Non locality or shared space without time is also closely connected to beingness. Its a kind of awareness. When it is absent its like a personality loss. We have no presence. And we seem to be somewhere else. Instead of becoming moodiness it may also be a kind of constant looking after everything. We have to attend to something, take care of things, leaving our shared space and our relation to it, altogether. And after we have lost this space, we pull other people into it as “hostages” to fill the gap we have created by our loss. Or we create situations for it to happen. Other people then become substitutes. They have to handle or carry the powers of our impulses that inhabit our space. And they act as innocent participants of something existent in our own force-field of experiences that we have failed to realize as parts of our own personal reality.
We disappear into a behavioral feedback loop to incarnate the energies that fills our space with the content of its symbolic order and form. Or we just ignore it to continue to pollute each other with our loss as outcasts of ourselves.

about the sense of moods

This space without time that exists in between us is not a certain mood. What I refer to, is an inner activity that is going on all the time. It is what we are inside. And it also appear to us as an independently shared interaction there, in that space. A mood is something else. A kind of expectation. Like with a child. He expects to be cared for in a lot of ways, or he will become quite moody or even violent. At times he will also act in ways to release the tension created by moods around him. But we do not need his kind of expectations because we have this space, and its place outside of time. We express its activity directly in between us when it is allowed to flow freely in a healthy shared space. Free from moods. We just move in and out of it with what we are. These moods have patterns and certain roles prefixed in them. They passify us and turn the power of our impulses over to someone else, and us into passiveness. I think these roles are linked back to our first family. They are repetetive patterns of behavior, of moods to be fulfilled by someone else in a surrounding where they no longer have a purpose. They just linger on as moods. And as worn out behavioral patterns. They really are what destroys our access to this independently shared space without time.
I can sense them all over the place. And I always want to go beyond them. They are quite annoying.

more on our shared place without time

There is an active, intelligent consciousness active in that between of space that is us. We turn it into a shared me, and into relations of you and me in independent interaction. It is a timeless body of now, everywhere at the same time. It is also a body of shared participative power and knowledge outside of individuality common to us all. And in this way it is a non material experience of an immediate space of information that wants to be expressed in itself, through us. Here we bring the invisible to the visible and materialize its non-material reality. Our mind enters this space, or field of energy as impulses. And we ceases to exist as a physical property with mass and begin to act as patterns of energy. These patterns, or forms of energy determines the true nature of our relations, and how the visual order of this information interact in this shared space of energy between us.
We move into it, emit our physical energy and appear. Then we move away from one another, but we can stay connected and act as though we were one thing, no matter how far apart we are. Here we are these shared thoughtlike forms of a cosmic potentiality which finds this reality of consciousness in us. It also directs and coordinates the flow of our life.

facing the giant

The ordinariness is the community we have become that has clumped itself together into a big, stupid, contradictory and dangerous giant with an inferiority complex that makes it impetuous. It is constantly paying attention to everything around it. Not on what itself brings into it. But what it incessantly notices in others. Therefore, it also becomes a little sluggish and slow because it does not have a presence in itself, in its own feelings. And that will make it feel stupid and become self-defensive. In Sami it is called stallo. And it is something that everyone faces and must overcome. Otherwise, it will eat you. It is something I have to wrestle with every day when I get out of bed.

about anxiety

The anxiety of the ordinary, how false or genuine I am in it, and how much I want to dislike myself, is determined by how much I dare to be in line with the consequences of what I am, which does not fit into ordinariness.

my relation to inspiration

One aspect of ordinariness is its paternal “thinking”. And what it once decided to, was the way we should relate to our own mind, and where to find its source of origin. How we should act to acquire it. We have learned through paternal ordinariness how we should relate to the primal root of abstract inspiration. That it is ordinariness that should provide us with it. We should get it from there if we want to get acceptance. Not from any actual experiences of our senses in relation to individual life and its place outside of time, common to all of us with its unique expression in every individual. Even if you have a vague feeling of not being authentic, or true to yourself, your experiences and others. Ordinariness have this paternal way of deciding how you should go about relating to your mind, and mold your inspiration according to what is “accepted” through ordinariness. But what if my source of origin is a shared source, related to a creative property of something experienced from both within, and outside of individuality. A relation to this kind of primal source of origin often makes it difficult to align it with the “ordinariness” of what accepted “thinking” should be, or be related to. But I would embarrass myself if i didn’t listen to it. As I would try to be something that I am not, and dispise myself for doing it. Because this alignement is crucial to all my relations. We can have no common relation to being without it.
I think this ordinariness no longer have a relation to this origin and its source of spontaneus information.
It has only one source. The maternal “womb” of usualness.

about my relation to love

No one are like anyone else. If there is a feeling of cognitive distorsion with the ordinary way of things or usualness, there is something wrong with the usualness relation to my individuality. A consequence I can live with. Because if I try to live like that and it didn’t turn out like usualness wants to have it, I would dispise myself for not being authentic or true to myself and others. It would be quite embarrasing for me. And create a great deal of anxiety. Feelings is one such “thing”. As we learn to conceptualize it to control it. To make it an object for the mind. But to learn closeness by the controlled distance of usualness is not learning to be authentic. We just learn how to appease and behave with this “object” towards others as a substitute for our true feelings. Its a controlled feeling where usualness dictate the accepted ways of expressing what you feel. But no one really is this “usualness”. It is a learned behavior of adjustment to our environment and its commonality. Our feeling of love and caring is not something that can be restricted to certain conditions, or something to be expressed according to certain defined and accepted rules of this usualness. We learn this as we grow up. It is an immediate experience of sharing our genuine and timeless being with someone else. And we relate to it not as something dictated by an objective view, we relate to its source of origin inside us as a shared participative power outside of individuality common to us all, and in this way unobstructed in how it wants be expressed in itself.
There is of course nothing more destructive to this kind of closeness than making it common or ordinary. Like when we deform the connection to its power in ourselves. Or stubbornly stay inside the maternal womb of “usualness” for too long. Or get stuck in the paternal hell of objectifying our relations with a moral code.
How can anyone relate to that?

about tempiternity or the eternal now

In my view of life, it is all relations. There is no temporal priority of rationality. Because there is always a danger of “intellectual colonization”, in which we too readily apply our personal and cultural pre-conceptions onto someone else. Thereby making the other an intellectual extension of ourselves. This just reveals how far we are from the sense of our “place-without-time”. Or our inner apprehension of reality as a participative knowledge of consciousness. We live in a form of cultural amnesia, far away from the awareness of this place as a living condition of something both within, and outside of ourselves. Something that is alive inside both people and places.
It is not time that link us to the present. We do not derive our origin or identity from time.
Our life is an annexation of this experience of nonlocality. Or place-without-time.

a view from the inside out

If I resist the contemporary approach to make psychic experiences “objects” of my mind. And instead view them as a non-material reality of emerging virtual states. And consider my inner life as a process of that psychic reality coming into consciousness where I am located in my present particular “position” of mind, and in relation to that process, I then act on its appearence. This I think, better correspond to the pre-formed conditions of “information” that is my potential emergence of reality, than any restrictive materialistic objectification do. And I also think that this is what is referred to historically as the energy content of archetypes, the spirit world, and the personification of deities. The immediate source of experience in people and places. Also, my experiences will come to be determined by how I interact with that content of “information”.
Because I view these states of potentiality as an innate capacity. A process of life and of transformation, relative to our impulses that directs and coordinates the flow of our mind as a realization of consciousness created from this non-empirical property of reality. And it then appears to the mind as a phenomenon for us to interpret. Which is how we bring the invisible to the visible, and materialize the flow of our individual ”position” in this non-material reality, and its potentiality of emergent life that we share with others as an independent urge toward the growth of consciousness.
But by over objectifying this timeless state, or nonlocality, we risk loosing its living quality. We become too materialistic and stop listening.
We loose our psychic body of awareness, and the soul of the world.

Psychic stress, imbalance and spontaneity

Psychic stress is something coming out of an imbalance. We have created a society where we educate professionals, but not people. From an early age we are taught look at ourselves from a position depending on the wheels of commerce, and of servitude, where the nature of people are not accounted for. We are trained to live under the grinding demands of rationality without paying attention to our individuality, or its collective human aspects, and in tune with our own impulses. And we wonder why people get soaked up in self-pity, in anxiety and frustration, then flooding the world with it.
There is an obvious imbalance here, and many of us have to work ourselves through it, to find a more candid relation to ourself, and to something more of an unconditional spontaneity and individuality.
This disconnectedness seems to be the prevelent attitude in all public life today.