Stefan Stjernberg.com

I constantly make experiences that has aspects of another kind. These experiences have always had a meaning and a guiding principle attached to them. And they have always had this timeless revitalizing air about them.
Since i have always sort of accumulated these experiences in my life, i think that the knowledge following moments like this is where we are introduced and guided by a purposeful experience of personal vision. And by maintaining a connection to it, with its quality of renewal and revivification, we have a shared source of experience with others. A source of inspiration that turns itself into time. It is like our own psychic function of traditional life in a world where that is viewed upon as madness or some kind of mental health issue, since experiences like this does not seem to belong to the practical life of being in today’s world. And it is even more so if one does not have have any natural training or practice to articulate them in.
Both worlds are important to us, but our ignorance of this relationship will mix them together and make this world a hell.

Ecology begins with our most intimate sense of psychological space. It is something we try to define in the relationships that inhabits us psychologically in our daily life, as in a relation to our being by the actual inner physical nature of the world that we are made of.
But as we depersonalize its life into something contextual for our conscious intentions, it takes on spatial dimensions in a terminological overhead of disintegrating madness.
And from this point on, we are no longer able to respond to life from our psychological roots and with a natural moral sense.
We loose our subjectivity and the link we have to the experience of our shared source at the world’s expense as we become ejected from our presence in individual space.

I am a descendent of this place that we are made of. This place both lives inside of me, as i live inside of it.
So when I meet you I will come to materialize that place, to share that with you. Either by a kind of analogy where I will cover you with its objective content. Or I will subject you to its me-ingness, by trying to make you part of an associative inner process to connect you to it. To its forms and the psychic structures that we constantly share within its creation of the world.
It is something that we meet with, face to face every day.
I think the worst thing that could happen to us is that someone is trying to blow it away by opression of their ideas, theories and values. Leaving no space for human being.
This is what will get us lost in a terminological and structural overhead that will leave us open to the horrible invasion that is the infection of mass-mindedness.
We invade our environment with the alligator of conscious intentions and depersonalize our relation to being as we get sucked in to someone else’s drama of lost space.

There is this space of uniqueness in individuality where experience participate in a world of realities that simultaneusly acts within, as an interrealm of presence, with its own behavior patterns, and as a sense of that being something out of an external otherness in its own right. It is like an experience of the primordial material of life. The core of reality in a shared world of subjective existance and objective reality that spontaneously enters into life presenting itself as one place. Everything becomes both and neither at the same time.
It is the place of origins.
Of everywhen.

Rationality without the principle of relatedness, without its participation in experience directly just becomes a repetitive act of universal truths, generalized outside of any real personal space, and an abstract way of imposing collective views, dogma and doctrines that interferes with ones own living inner otherness, and others. It is an interference that over time will deform our psychic structure and its ability to relate to its own language of analogy, and to other presets that do not come easily to us with clear verbal associations. But as complete and vivid impressions of living processes.
So we habitually take control over others, and more or less intentionally contaminate them with our acts of oppression, and indoctrinate them with our values and ideals just to keep up our commitment to good behavior. We behave like uninitiated children clinging to ideas with our need to create a uniform reality, instead of relating to our real mother, to the soulful experience of a living earth and the spiritual laws that governs it from within.
Most people have to fear that reality in others, and in any participation of a direct experience of any kind, because right there we cannot control others since we seem to have lost the means to relate to that space with the content of analogy in our own innerness.
Thats why we are becoming alligators.
We do not pay attention to the experiences coming from the relations where the psyche meets the soul.

Central Australian Arunta people have the spiritual view that every person essentially exists eternally in all time or the Dreaming. And that this eternal part existed before the life of the individual begun, and continues to exist when the life of the individual ends. Both before and after life, it is believed that this spirit-child exists in this dream of dreamings, where time is this physical part of this set of time that contains all time, and that this child is only initiated into life by being born through a mother. In northern scandinavia there is also the view that this spiritual essence is first impregnated into the spiritual mother by the all creator being before being initiated to life and its physical mother, and then to time. This essence is brought to her for carrying by the spirit child. Here the child is the bringer of the relation to this spiritual essence in the set of sets, or ”all time”.
This spirit-child is the germ of a complete pre-formed individual.
I think its a wonderful way to describe the timeless experience we have of the human part of being.

To put ones self into experiencing the direct exposure of others is likely the most difficult and maziest situation you can be in. To sense the absence and confusion in the rethorical opposites of its nonsensicality and wickedness. Here you are suddenly thrown into the rationality of a sort of pre-defined emotional reality of someone else, and his or hers literalization of being.
To be able to stay with it, you have to be the extension of that someones pre-conceptualised way of what it is. But at the same time, when you step into that reality, you are in a strange way made accessible to your self. Its like we are playing catch-up with randomly appearing subconscious eruptions in the flow of life. And in a spiritual vessel the size of the world.
However, this experience is not really that apparent to everyone.

The authenticity of being is about the essence I share when I am tapping into the still places of direct experience outdoors, and I feel like I’m part of everything around me.

As we move further and futher into our life, the one sided exposure of christianity’s rationally accepted part of consciousness becomes a truly disturbing habitual world of behavior. We discover that we can no longer blindly identify with its need of hostility towards everything and everyone that doesn’t live up to its moral standards, and what those standards make humans create in inequality, injustice and sufferings in this world just to maintain its individually created superficial morals. It doesn’t even enter that mindset that it is something we create out of a relation to opposites of selected ideas in the totality of human consciousness.
So some of us come to this turning point of indoctrination and repetition, and have to turn around and head back to our nature and its calling.
From this moment of realisation on, you can no longer abandon your individual voice, or give up on its inner authority.
You can no longer put it on a society or a group, or a certain context of ideas. You cannot rationalize it away anymore because you no longer need that approval to become a human being. And you no longer need hostility and enemies to have an experience of a coherent reality.
The voice of conscience originates from this, and it goes beyond the rethorics of opposites created by a rational mind outside the total reality of our consciousness.
Because that is where these commandments created by people who have lost their voices comes from.
By having to give up their inner voice, it created a strange kind of behavior where people tend to either try to become perfect and flawless beings, and impose that restrain on themselves and others, or become martyrs with an indulgent tendency to claim a belonging to all kinds of personal and collective sufferings for acceptance, and to stay clear from the reality the impact of this voice of nature itself have on them.

It has always been a horrendous balancing act between our created social identity and what we are.
Most parents when we come to experience this for the first time in life just emphasize the need to develop the outer role, our gender, social class, vocation, nationality, race or some religion, and thus completely ignore the meaning of the social game that hits us like a tidal wave. We are called to relate to this psychological content here and now. And their ignoring of this naturally only makes us even more hostile. And as a kind of a compromise, we build ourselves a social personality out of pure self-preservation. Defiant as a hell. Usually it has very little to do with what the parents are, because this is about a strong defense against external influences. It is about what they in this way choose to represent. Our young people are involved in a heroic inner struggle, and it is not obvious to them how they could bring with them the absolute authenticity they sense into an adult social life. And for some of us it is just what we have to do. But it comes with a price, and parents routinely usually choose the part of being a single minded one sided outer personality. And since they themselves have abandoned their inner voice once, they abandon their children’s too, because they are experiencing the same horror as they once felt all over again. So instead of attending their kids’ point of view and agree on how terribly superficial, inauthentic and fictitious everything is. While at the same time claim that there is a price to be paid attached to maintaining this authenticity. And to embrace it all in. Our parents, and the so called grown up world regularly become vicious about it in all their well meaning acts of goodness.
This experience is, of course, individually deeply valuable to our personality from a human point of view, but it has a flip side. We cannot be, or sustain what someone else wants us to be. And we have to stand up to this.
Right here, is where initiations entered into traditional cultures of all time before our civilisation as we know it. They have learned about its importance from experience.
Over time it taught them that for most people it is enough to play along and just be what is expected of them in different contexts and adapt. But for many others, this is not enough at all. Not to say that you have to be an opportunist as an alternative for the rest of your life.
This uncomfortable situation in life have something very important to convey to us all. And this is what Christianity as a collective have made us forget.
What this is really about is how we are to become humans. And it is not like picking flowers at the roadside.

We don’t derive our individuality from some combinations of collective identities like sex, race, social class, vocation, nationality, or religion. In contrast, we have only one important sense of personal identity that is imbued in us in our earliest childhood. We are coming from one context only, the sense of place.
The question of identity, of who i am, is resolved in me as a child by being the full implication of where i am.
Personality is that connection, an extension of that childhood place. We are its stuff of existence. This life potential of land. Our mothers carries a life whose essence belongs to this place, and in that sense, a child’s identity will become determined by his or her’s place of derivation. It is that child’s self-sustaining and imagining substrate.
Life is this becoming of an annexation of that place.

My consciousness rests upon something that mediates reflection, a kind of place, and a perspective in its own right out of which moments of energized visions in ordinary events appear.
It is my guiding principle. I think it is a voice from life itself. A life imagined.
With that, there is always incredibly high expectations on women.
Why?

If i really think about psychic happenings, about our inner subjective life, our imagination, the ideas and perceptions that we use as tools to refer to them, its quite easy too see that our perceptions of life relies on something that is projected on to us. They contain the energy pulses of recognisable patterns originating from behind what we imagine, and it is from that source they are then formulated and transmitted to us.
Therefore, it may not come as a surprise that we as individuals from whatever different background, traditional or not, may experience this imaginative reality that is projected from the world outside as something not really belonging to us. Rather, it is something of a general agreement that is trying to turn us into an intellectual extension of their own imagination, of their ideas and their perceptions of reality. And if it originates from a christian background, its easy to see that images of authority and heroism stands out as very important for that mindset to maintain a coherent reality. It will appear to us as a kind of generic agreement referenced as the only acceptable use of psychic energy. However, if you have a different psychological setup than that, you are going to experience problems adjusting to this rigid and stereotyped reality. Because it confuses our total set of relations of living to only a few isolated moments of imagination determined by a kind of narrowed down inner life.
But from within our reflections our visions also occur. And as an inner guide they have a wider application than just being restricted to authority and heroism. There are many more attributes to psychic energy than that. And i cannot force myself into an unrepeatable creation, and someone else’s historical or subjective vision. That will only separate me from my own reality. From the ordinary, every-day, abiding experience of reflection and the interconnected unity of all things. With earth, the community, to cosmos, and with the ultimate reality as a perspective of individual relationships to our guiding principles of energy and inner reality. And even worse, i might start to behave like there can be only one single form of psychic, spiritual or intellectual reality.
So somewhere along the path of life, we have learned to put the unacceptable somewhere. What we are, but not allowed to express. I mean all of that which we now have to transform into guilt and blame. It is psychic hygiene. It is what we do to be able to limit ourselves to an agreeable reality.
What do we do with it? We cannot just turn all that guilt and blame loose on the world.
But still, this is exactly what we do.

Between me and the phenomenology of events there is a reflective moment. It appears as a vision of space, as a perspective that opens up a difference between me and everything that happens. This is where everything have always turned the goings-on into experience. And the quality of that have somehow had the ability to separate itself from all of my literal identification with its inherent affection.
It is in there knowledge leaves its dependency of physical representation. Every experience changes its objective in this space making me the recipient of its intentions by means of metaphorical logic.
I think it is this constant transformation of experience that is the only thing that can give meaning to life.

There exist a sort of reality consensus. A generally agreed upon to be reality. It is the source of all evil.
Of our guilt, and the blame we put on others to deliver us from our own evil doings by this consensus.
This is the physiognomy of the world. The world we live in as shaped by our minds.
It is what we all have in us. What we have forgotten about ourselves.
It is this psychic disease we infect the world around us with.

I have come to realize that what i think or imagine, and what i accept as my reality, really appears to me as having this physiognomic quality of its own.
What i relate to and call experience obviously has a phenomenology and a reality in its own right.
Its behaviour is actually independent of me.
I cannot recognize experience as the source of all things. Its appearance is more like the behaviour of an interior reality making itself personally known from behind what i imagine.
It is something making its point with the energy of my impulses trying to break free from the literalization of my perceptions.

Every individual is part of an underlying unified reality from which everything emerges and to which place everything returns. We live in this contantly re-created timeless substantiality.
Time in this sense, is a world of shared relationships with every other phenomenon as part of a total set of time. It is the absolute aspect of reality behind all life.
From this we are able to grasp the invisible patterns of life as they are composed of the impressions that creates a relation of continuity to being out of which we transcend the life experiences of a single lifetime. We use to relate to this by traditions, from where we observed and maintained all extra ordinary experience of energy that came into our existance in our daily lives.
It is a part of us that permeates all existance. It is what makes us human.
While a modern society primarily focus on making professionals, traditional learning have always focused on making people humans first.
Today we have taken on the painstaking dilemma of how to make them both at the same time.

I can only speak for myself, my soul, sui generis, when i say that my senses have been colonized. I have been this intellectual extension of something else.
By indoctrination my mind and essence has been the intellectual property of others, and in that sense my experiences have also been foreign to me and pre-conceptualized into that other.
To me, people really seem to believe that constantly having a lecture of ideas and presenting facts is how we should relate to each other.
But I do not derive my being from that. It is not how i am made accessible to myself.

From within the memory of our dna, we receive instructions from nature as a first-hand experience of having relationships at the heart of knowledge.
But for most people of today, the reality of knowledge is only to be found within the emotionality of collective opinions.

There is always a balance between our senses directed by the ordinary material world of what is knownable a posteriori and the world of experiences created a priori, of itself and complementary to what we do know. It is what we are from the point of view of our memory in the shape of our dna. We can never know what it is in itself. But we act on its impulse. On its instructions or guiding principles.
It is our relation to life.

Life is our religion. Of our belonging to a certain time and place. And to the sense of having experiences of continuity which trancends the individual experience of a single lifetime.

We are this shared relation of two different states of being with everything else. In our experience of causality it switch its behavior within the same objective phenomenon of matter from where it originates into personal energy, and at the same time, as it is able to act in different places interchangeably, and in completely different individual structures of space, this experience is an ongoing creation personally manifesting itself as imagination and form.
We share the same origin and phenomenological source that is described by theoretical physics. Another great way to describe it is by the term everywhen.

I now realise that the great emptiness i sometimes experienced in my youth was the missing and partly forgotten cultural tradition that i needed to have to be able to process the forms that provide us with the symbolic shapes and meaning of our physical reality. It is really a strange and bewildering experience for anyone to try to live and find a way surrounded with that kind of desolation.
Our experiences will not make sense to us, no matter what they will teach us at school.

Having previously dreamt of a bear, and not long ago being chased by a bear in a dream, later also wrestling with one until we came to an exhausted stand still infront of its cub. The bear obviously have a vivid symbolic reality in me. Some of the processes going on in me seem to have put the bear at its center. Suddenly i think i understand some of the rituals connected to the bear and other things otherwise unknown to me as they become realised in a way that is really not supported by my actual life. I try to follow up on it, listening to its almost imperceptible phenomenology. But in reality some of the patterns governing the bear in its life is simply something i just relate to as being a shared behavioural pattern by us humans. We are the same, and we share some of our personality traits as they are part of our behavioral setup too. And none of us like to be abruptly waken when we are sleeping.
It is really an impressive and dangerous animal when its private space is disturbed.

There is always some misunderstanding involved in words that make sweeping statements, like totemism, which is about our predetermined nature of behaviour, and the voices of energy behind all lifes instinctual patterns that is guiding man, animals and plants. A word says nothing about the focused listening that involves identifying and acquiring the gift of some esteemed patterns by man from within himself. Of what is to be achieved by deep reflection, and the finding of the same psychic patterns in the symbolic source of life for either a specific need, or for use as guidance.
What is called totemism is about coming to terms with our entering into life from behind life itself.

I live in a sort of inverted world.
People don’t use physical masks to personify or express ancestral powers. Instead, they use these invisible masks and postures to mimic positions and exercise the behaviour associated with them while referring to them from within their chosen incarnation.
It’s quite maddening because it turns people inside out and depreciates the experience people may have of their individual reality.

If i didn’t have this sense of a touchless, living framework forming inside of me to put my experiences in, my only option would be to put myself in a learned fiction of some memorised reality, and then start to think that the knowledge i now put in front of me, is what i am.
Oh my, isn’t that just exactly what I have been doing…
When i do this to myself, i become split up into a lot of different acts and fictions of reality. Of what is right or wrong, good or bad, or sick and healthy, as in the logic of the material settings of a completely intellectual approach to life. And i will fall into a behaviour of ethics totally depended on opposites, to keep up moral, to be impeccable and spotless. And i would constantly try to show others what my moral standards are in terms of dramas that i would create for them. Which i still do. These are dramas that would make me evil. It is what I bring to the world. Something i create to be able to hold the image i have of what i think i am together. I will become consumed by the idea that I am all good and completely loose my conception of what the reality of evil is.
As this is according to the collective beliefs we are trying to conform to, by which my parents where an extension, and to whatever role i may find appealing in a technical sense to present myself in. It is right here that a traditional framework will come in handy to support the energized experiences we have, and the ancestral source of reality as being something collectively useful coming out of us.
Most people are completely at loss in their own experience of having a metaphysical life. Because in this sense, we live our lives in a mindset, a nagging pain constantly battering our senses with a onesided rational environment, promulgating the view not to pay too much attention to our experiences, because of the questioning and embarrassmets that hits us from within our absence of its challenge.
Luckily, such experiences can only be erased when humans become extinct.
And there is no doubt we will be if we don’t come to terms with this anytime soon now.

Thinking in itself is the mechanical reordering of a collective set of perceptions and the logic of what is without any connection to the reality of our experiences.

Humans, plants and animals are related because in the beginning of a world of experiences they were interchangeable.
”That is to say that everything in the natural world has a relationship with every other thing and the total set of relationships makes up the world as we experience it.”(Vine Deloria)
And time as an experience in this sense, does not pass. It is an aspect of reality. Percieved as passed it is a set of different times in a constant reality of absolute time. Because time has to be part of something. This is what gives our senses the ability to take part in the relations experience have of everything simultaneusly.
It is a constant phenomenological reality we relate to as all time, or sometimes just as eternity.

It seems more and more obvious to me that the experience we have of our relations is rooted in the perception of a shared reality that goes far beyond any physical differences. There is this common essence of life. An interchangable ability that permeates everything in relation to an acasual natural phenomena of interaction, translated into this language of silence, reflection and nourishment present in all existance.

Animism is a word that is used when the phenomenology of a special relation to a place, to earth, to animals, trees or plants is beyond comprehension, because a single word cannot possibly describe the power inherent in the content of these relations. They have to be lived and experienced, mimicking is not life. The understanding of a word in itself cannot contain anything of that energy, or anything even close to the nature of its origin. At best, it is an empty attempt of a materialistic mindset to imitate these relations by way of abstraction.
The cogent respect to all life is absent. It is just not in there.

The identification of gender masculinity to the psychological conception of consciousness in both men and women, as an invokation of a distant christian authorative psychopathic god with a need to inflict pain on everyone who does not follow him, or show reverence, is a horrible mistaken identification of the relation we should have to the nature of this experience. And to the function of nature inside itself. This christian type of relation is an old culturally conditioned one on how we should act in its best interest, and in the best interest of it towards each other. Almost everyone in todays society has become this pain ridden follower to its madness. And most have learned its lesson very well, acting accordingly to everyone who do not listen to its substantial claims of the other, or to other peoples psychological setup.
This gives me a good reason to belive that this is the primal root of todays feminism. To the defenses it creates, and the increasing awareness that is experienced as a threat to an old outdated cultural conditioning.

I think we are all part of these vibratory patterns of physical energy, where causality in a sense turn our essence into notes in a wave of music that requires time to exist. We are vibrating notes in an unconscious symphony where both living things, and places in our world share a relation to two different states of being with everything else. Our experience of this causality can switch its behavior within the same objective phenomenon of matter from where it originates into energy, and at the same time, act in different places, and in completely different individual structures of space.
This is casuality experienced as an ongoing creation personally manifesting itself as imagination and form.