Many times before in my life I have been confronted by this invisible judge and prosecutor of individual adaptation to collective behaviour that no one dares to speak about. He was dictating the ways of my first world, how we should relate to each other, and to life. No one was able to stand up to its crushing force back then, to its hostile to life demands of being in a formless undefined reality. And it got transferred over to me.
Individual impulses, and inspiration originating in a psychic structure from which experiences take form, became suppressed by this silent relentless pressure of collective morality. To question its authority by opposition to its ridiculous attitude, and views of its own importance seemed impossible in my youth. No one told me what it was. How to deal with it.
We where just suppose to stay silent and try to suffer its might.
But now it has appeared again with its terrible demands of one-sidedness and sterility in human relations, which are planted in world views, in its approach to nature, to people, society and culture. Full of its own importance and unquestionability. We are pushed to the edge of insanity if we dare to question the established ways coming out of it, or its density of well intended abstract wordings and distant non-human presence. This silent force does not suffer that.
This is the same invisible judge all over again. The same prosecutor. And the same invisible punishment as i have met before.
It has just scaled up to the size of the world and improved on its terrible inhuman weight.