Etikett: natur

When I have experienced it up close and in my immediate surroundings a number of times, it has made me try to put it in a context that is understandable to me. Brain atrophy is something that occurs naturally but is accelerated by various diseases such as Alzheimer’s. But the decline of our cognitive and mental abilities is also a result of parts of the mental functionality that comes with age not being integrated. But it should not be confused with diseases that cause them to accelerate.
The body and psyche function like our muscles. If they are not used, they atrophy and create conditions that characterize both old age and disease. This makes me believe that it is up to each age to make its integration of our mental growth and deepening. Otherwise we atrophy. If for various reasons we cannot do so, it happens anyway without our participation and then we disappear. First occasionally. In absent-mindedness or temporary moments of emptiness and mental absence. Then longer and longer moments. Finally completely. This reasoning naturally implies that they mutually influence each other. Atrophy is something natural that occurs and accelerates both in the absence of mental activity and by the disease states with which we define them. Mental atrophy affects the functionality of the brain and the functionality of the brain affects our mental ability. Perhaps an absence of our psychic world in our close social relationships indicates an individual need for it to be noticed before it becomes so crowded and congested that it does so without our participation. Something that we discover both in ourselves and others over time. The mental dynamics subside and we experience that people we are trying to establish a human relationship with are no longer present and reflective in a psychological sense, but seem to have frozen mentally and end up in recurring and meaningless repetitions. On a kind of greater scale, it seems as if in this way we as adults return to the place we once came from to mature from within through meditative and psychological self-reflection.

Most of us equate our sense objects with objects that have a physical or bodily reality. As if they were one and the same thing. The ego, for example, is not an object. Yet it relates us to everything around us as if it were just that. As things, as material objects. Which turns everything our experiences conveys into something that it is not. Even though it is a sense object without physical reality no matter how much we try to make it one. The same goes with what we also identify with of the sense objects that revolve around the ego, in addition to the ego itself. We are neither the ego nor any of these sense objects, or the energy that surrounds them, but they still exert the same influence on us as the ego itself does. But when we relate to any of them in relation to the ego, we call it personality. As the tension that arises between them then, opens up the space and the larger mental scope that belongs to the original whole. This is where the process of objectivisation occurs. Or that which we relate to as objects of consciousness. Which from a meditative standpoint is the duality created by the ego, and the mental compromises it creates from the contradictions that arise within us when we confuse the objects of the senses with the ego’s objectification of them. Blending mental events with physical ones, and distort what we act on without truly knowing from where in this duality they originate. However, what we can know, is that when we turn inward, all directed thought of understanding cease. Even so the conscious process that objectifies our sensations of the incorporeal. Because we are then simultaneously both the space we embody as we are the space we find ourselves in. The two are one. At the same time as they are all that is not. To know this is to look inward. To observe in meditation the simultaneity of both that which is, and that which is not when we are. Because that is all that is. Understanding in this sense, is when our minds are used by it, in its own process of energy and movement.

Without the real foundation and the mental equilibrium it bestows on our person, we end up in a troubled relationship with ourselves where we are constantly thrown between different sensations, our compromises with them and the different emotional states they repeat within us. The most common way for us to deal with this turbulence is to identify ourselves, through the ego, with some of our compromises in order to try to create an ideal and lasting peace of mind with artificial or self-preserving hostile means that rest on the insecurity we feel in relation to the independence our psyche shows towards us. It is often out of this anxiety that we bring forth those we want to lead us. We want them to give us a peace of mind and deliver us from that within us that we have to face in solitude and within ourselves. But what often happens is quite the opposite. If I were an authoritarian person, a foreign leader who had developed these defenses to my inner life, a head of state, or the head of a political group or organization of any kind, and wanted to break down my own or any other country and its society and transform it so that nothing questions me or the liberation from what I seek within me, I would consciously or unconsciously try to find someone in it with a traumatic emotionally nonexistent, psychologically absent and therefore distorted relationship with their father figure within us, and with a desire for revenge against the society and the institutions he represents when not separated from a real person, and to whom our person never felt like belonging to due to a psychopathic human father’s emotional and psychological distance and ignorance, the belittling attitude it had towards our person, and the feeling of inadequacy and rejection it created in him. Then, in the background, I would provide that person with the support and resources he needs to reach its highest political elite and then destroy it from within. By humiliating their public officials, disregarding laws and regulations and use them for personal purposes, dismantling and dissolving it economically, militarily and politically from there. But do it under the guise of doing it for the good of others with grandiose and hopeless projects, and with the help of the groups that share his trauma. Because they would think he is doing it to bring order to things, when in fact he is the one creating the havoc. He should also continuously use national sentiment and patriotism as a means and argument to get the majority to agree to it and blame independent thinking and all forms of dissentent for it. That person would then be my best friend. Together with everyone who shares this father complex. Whether it is openly staged in front of everyone around us, or is suppressed and is something that someone else has to act out in our place when we submit to the roles we play for the meaning this complex has within us, as it is unknown and something that is in its raw and conditioned state within us. That is why I assume that an understanding of the real experience of the inner person’s relationship to a father figure in a traditional sense, the cultural expression of the creative source within us, is so important in its intermediary capacity and only indirectly belonging to our real fathers. We will acquire many substitutes for it, in many men regardless of our gender, as models or prototypes for many different situations until we realize that they all have the same origin within us in common. But as long as it has not been made conscious, we lose our real inner connection to people and to the collective context that surrounds us and we are part of.

At some point in our lives we will discover the dualism that arises between our inner person and the distorted union that has arisen with the original function of our inner father figure and the experiences we have had of it in our lives. The tension and energy expressed in their relationship causes the person within us to be called to develop as it is formulated and matures and the right psychic attention between them arises. If it is completely unconscious, then it causes us to try to be the reworking of that relationship that we have within ourselves also for others everywhere in all our relationships around us. Or just continue to be the infantile conditional and unchanging relationships that have existed between us and others since our childhood. We become unattainable for individual and genuine human consideration and annoyingly arrogant in a way that constantly diminishes others in themselves around us. We will have difficulty with quiet listening human to human relationships. Which with the right attention makes us walk the inner path we must follow and formulate for ourselves, with the help of our inner father figure in his role as a cultural mediator of the insight and wisdom that our inner source conveys to him through our inner person. For it is our conscious relationship to our inner person that makes us observe and convey what is within us in an interpersonal cultural sense. If we are completely ignorant of this relationship within ourselves, we instead begin to stage it with others. But then with the frustration that arises when we force our inner relationship, the settlement that we renegotiate between those within us onto others. Usually under the protection of self-absorbed ideological claims, a misdirected and misguided power of action that is based in the patterns of virtue that our conditioning provides us with. In any case, we live out the relationship between them within us in a way that makes us insensitive to others outside this staging of our psychic life and what we must face and go through there on the path to our inner maturity’s meditative independence from others, in their self-reflective relationship to themselves. In this way, we both reformulate and negotiate the compromise that our childhood conditioning has made us reconcile ourselves to so that our inner person can process that within himself that he reflects outwardly and that has its origin in the psychic sphere of reality we carry within us. But without first having found our absolute stillness, our inner mental balance in the space we have within ourselves, and the peace and quiet that allows us to begin to listen to what the source within us wants us to hear, it is not possible. We will just constantly act as if we were that father figure in front of others and try to stage it for them. Many will submit to this and find themselves performing that role for others’ perception of their own importance, because not everyone is willing or able to perceive and face this within themselves. We do it at the cost of our personal freedom and inner independence, and we pay for it with the contents of our soul. That which we in different forms call inspiration. Or life within our life.

Without any meditative self-inspection at all, our true person within us remains in a virginal state of imperturbability and naive innocence behind a conditioned worldly attitude through out our lives. We find us put in a kind of ideal state of existence, of self-absorption whose emotional world of ideas and compensations is in an undeveloped atmosphere of interpersonal psychic reality. A state in which we experience every inner event as an untouchable fertilization of our ego with its own perfect purpose in and of itself. Independent of the world and life as it is. A mans contrasexual psychic aspect, or figure of the soul is in a young girls pristine state. Absorbed in the experience of its innocence and in its untroubled relationship to the world as a personally perceived embellished psychic reality in its underlying current of rapturous influence on our mental life. Often it resides within us in a dormant state attached to someone or something like a mirage of personal life alongside our socially conditioned attitude. Something that we fiercely defend with hostility because we are attached to it as something inviolable and innocent within ourselves. Yet deep inside of us we know that if we violate it with our conditioned attitude, life looses its meaning. It will break us down completely. In women who have not yet found an observant meditative way of relating to inspiration, they see their internal gender opposite exclusively in a conditional sense, in the general consciousness and in impersonal references to its content. Not as an intermediary to a deep and peaceful personal source of insight and knowledge behind it. In the same way as men who have not yet in a self-reflective way separated themselves from their inner father figure in its relationship and significance for how we treat the psychic content in our cultural environment, and then become cynical and excessively materialistic in relation to the suppressed meditative self-reflection that is necessary for us to be able to develop and mature in it, in an interpersonal sense to the original whole. Something that has been psychologically and phenomenologically disorienting both in my life and in the world around me and has led to almost insurmountable personal and interpersonal complications. For between us and our soul we must take care of our mental balance and our person within us in its own sense of belonging and context. In an embodied world of potent and unadulterated mental phenomena and actions that we interact with all the time. In their dormant or suppressed state we do so at first with this original innocence and untouched experience of an ideal and inviolable sense of beauty. Which makes our interior stand in sharp contrast to the attitude we present to the outside world. If it is allowed to develop in meditative maturity of self-inspection into a greater experience of our nature in nature, as a sense of our being in nature as an aspect also of its whole, and our mind not as our mind but connected to a mind as a source insight we interact with in itself. We may then be able to come to the relationship within ourselves where the experiences we have, have been described in a figurative sense in different but similar ways as in older Sami tradition with the Sami goddesses Rana niejta, and in Sáráhkká, Uksáhkká and Juoksáhkká and their cultural expressions as formulated by Máttaráhkká. Together they are active in the original structural psychic whole they are surrounded by through Rádienáhkká. Or Nature in its total extent as that which Rana niejta conveys a connection to as our personal nature in its pristine state, of which it is a perceived part. But she is also something that we must separate ourselves from in order to cognitively grow and take in the larger whole and its content. We must observe our moods and emotional states. To access the dualism this fragmentation within us entails in our relationship to our nature with Uksáhkká. We must also take in Sáráhkká in her importance for our care and nurturing of our inner person. But also Juoksáhkká, her unwavering self-preservation and independence that challenges us, our moods, and makes us stand up for ourselves, for the right attention we need in our self-observation without us identifying with them and the conditions they create when we are confronted with them in our lives. Regardless of whether we notice them within ourselves or encounter them through women to come to terms with them within ourselves. It is in this encounter with them as cultural expressions of the content that spontaneously formulates our perceptions of psychic life that they are given a form in our lives, which at the same time forms the characteristics that go beyond any real person they are submitted to and is something of our interpersonal psychic space that we provide them with. I don’t really like the concept of soul because it becomes too airy in a spatial sense and therefore difficult to grasp when it unites with and becomes the same thing as with the relationship nature has to us in itself. But experienced directly in a personal relation to men around us, and as being men, in women of all ages in particular, it acquires a deeper and more lasting meaning through the content of our relationships to women. If, we are able to assume that our inner person shares company with a psychic counterpart, and a figure of our opposite sex both personally and culturally since that is what conditions our relation to them. I also suspect that this is something that has been known in many cultures long before our era, since it is not too difficult to discover how we, through our mental actions, weave in content from the psychic space that we then provide our physical reality with. Before our time, people had only another way of describing how the psychic atmosphere influenced our actions and explained the rapture that went beyond our conscious approach to ourselves, to life itself and to this in each other in a fulfilling way. For the sake of our own and others’ safety, it was something that we had to face and come to terms with.

Meditation or psychological self-reflection in its most complete sense is something we experience in the functional balance that provides us with the law of the mind that formulates the absolute foundation of our being. In its widest sense it also includes the peaceful calm, the stillness and community that we find in the experience of wholeness and presence in nature. With nature itself. This sense of wholeness, of true participation has been described for over 40,000 years by Australian Aborigines as dadirri. The inner deep listening and quiet still awareness. I do not think it is too far-fetched to also imagine that this practice lies behind not only theirs, but also all people’s inner need to seek the healing balance of mind and the communication it entails to our connection with our inner self-organizing source and its union of opposites that makes us seek our way back to it in seclusion and ”walkabouts”, both in our temporary needs to seek it beyond our societal contexts, and our own individual needs to experience closeness to nature as it is, and comes to us as a call both from within and from without. It is in the absence of ”dadirri”, or Australian aboriginal meditation practices, that we experience both ourselves, our cultural expression of life, and people that appear as out of their minds, doing bad things both to others and to themselves when they feel fragmented and do not experience that we have a coherent and balanced personality in relation to all of our parts. We see ourselves on the one hand as dependent on the goodwill of others, and become restless, erratic and incoherent when things dont coincide with the law of this mental balance. And on the other hand as dismissal in our exaggerated models of virtue, and in our need to show ourselves from an ideal collective code of conduct since it provide us with a sense of belonging. Either we see ourselves in others as unreliable and irrational, or too distrustful of that which does not take into account the notions and ideals that we have rejected and use to replace a genuine sense of mental equilibrium. Regardless of this, and whichever end of opposites we choose, we have lost the inner equilibrium to the tension and intensity that arises in the one-sidedness of one of the opposites, and to the absolute basic human condition that this source within us present us with. In short, we cannot share the vessel we call soul, or nature as something in us, our embodiment of the parts that unite us with its contents in our person with others, with that which gives others an experience and sense of a greater cohesive inner whole. Without dadirri, we risk distorting our meditative practice of self-reflection and transforming the mental states we perceive into more or less limiting behavioral standards that, in the worst case, may replace the direct experience that arises there, instead of setting us up with the right kind of concentration and awareness that allows us to communicate with our inner source on its own terms. However, in the end it is not about meditation or some kind of praxis of self-reflection, but about sharing a presence of mind where all there is mutually condition and co-create each others sense of being.

Without many being aware of it, we move between different states of reality. The experience of them has been described and reproduced in many different ways throughout time and by many different cultures, but their reality and content are still the same. Even though we formulate our experiences of the states that arise as patterns of the energy we encounter in a way that unites it with our lives in a unique way. But in order for this connection to emerge and become possible between us and this content, outside of our social conditioning, we seek it out together or individually more or less consciously in a psychic space where it can be enabled and occur on its own terms. We let go of our social roles and through the spirit masks that we put on and let ourselves be inspired by, we let them use us to produce the information we seek through the underlying sources of inspiration that interact with us. They do not use what we call speech, but they convey the information in a raw and unprocessed feeling of unadulterated truth, in sudden insights. The energy content we encounter is initially so intense that we are flooded with it. But by allowing other original sources to act upon them and have their say as we encounter them and process them through our psychically inspired conduct, it becomes possible to transform what happens to us into experiences that our consciousness can retain and we can embody in a psychically meaningful way. This then enables us to take that information back with us from this psychic space when we leave it and return to the physical world, to society and our social life, while leaving behind the original energy that inspired us, honoring its sources and putting the information we have received into practical use in our lives. This psychic content, with its spirits of inspiration, when manifested, becomes the various forms that we express as we allow ourselves to be inspired by them, and something that we encounter in the psychic space that we embody in an interpersonal sense of that experience and as something we often refer to as having what we call soul.

It is with a sense of shame that we discover our identification with the conditioned face we turn towards our surroundings with all its complex and confusing compensations that often have nothing to do with people around us, in the sense that we generate it through them in the absence of the mental balance and equilibrium of mind that constitute the boundaries of our own person. In doing so, we also pay very little attention to the mental states of these faces, which establish a connection between us and the psychic energy from which they emanate, and the various forms of expression in which they appear when we allow ourselves to be deliberately or compulsively substituted by, that is, historically speaking, the spiritual masks that we use as an outlet for the background sources through which we are used when we act them out, which the ideal of social convention is set to control and suppress in an external sense. Which we, in the absence of self-observation, confuse with others and with situations that do not convey their influence or significance to us on their own terms or suppress to the point that we completely lose our humanity and the nature within us that we are a part of and find ourselves in together with others. Even outside our social need to conform and to conditionally present ourselves as excellent models of virtue, we find ourselves in it together, and it in us from everywhere around us. For if we fail to speak to its content, if we are condescending to the expressions it seeks, it will take its revenge on us by intervening in a compulsive and unconsidered way that temporarily or permanently not only destroys our social life but can also, in its fury, destroy it in its entirety. It will constantly break down and try to dissolve our conditioned and fake personality. Which gives rise to the mental discomfort that our distorted compensations constantly give rise to without a living connection to our inner balance, our equanimity, which its opposite and an overly limited idealization also creates. Having said that, it is impossible to overestimate the importance of there being a personal correlation between the social roles we perform for others, in which they have a greater part than we ourselves, in a self-observant manner and in a conscious mental equilibrium with the psychic energy and the emotional movements on which we, in this psychic space together with others, are completely dependent. This is something that becomes obvious when we come to terms with and can reconcile ourselves with our inner parents. Especially in relation to the father figure that up to a certain point in our lives has been characterized by our conditioned relationship to its meaning by our actual fathers and not independent of them. Our own inner father figure in its cultural meaning becomes distorted and we become bad fathers to our actual fathers when we are expected to emphasize this inner father figure for them and for their inner person, and not come to terms with it in relation to our own. Behind this adaptation that has conditioned us to this relationship we find the different states of psychic energy that in most cases are expressed when we act them out through the spirit masks that we substitute for them. Something that ultimately makes us come to question the relationship that our conditioned personality has to our inner psychological equilibrium, and this has in relation to our inner father figures, what the correct relationship is to our inner moral and psychological equilibrium, and to the energy behind our spirit masks. We use them to gain access to and the opportunity to utilize their inherent psychic energy because it helps us grow and heal when we transform it, causing consciousness to expand from within. So it is not too difficult to see how they, when they remain unclear within us, makes us complicit in the tensions they create in our social life, and when they occur in a distorted way in our political life, the destruction we see in the world around us.

Suddenly it doesn’t work anymore. It’s not possible to act or be in the same way as before, and we no longer know how to be. The previous way has expired. It was not ours to begin with, and not connected to the inner stillness and balance that was there within us from the beginning, as something whole and true, but something that we added to ourselves. An attitude, full of borrowed words and adjusted combinations of them without them having any essential belonging to our own experiences and our own individual inner contexts. But we also cannot be in constant opposition to it, and live in a continuous compensations to it through others. In a tangle of objurgations and an eternal adjustment of more or less known intentions that are not our own. Which arise from the energy that shapes our experiences from sources in relation to our own senses, and which are the true relationships that we share with others from within. By their meaning and purpose for us in relation to how we live our own lives, not how we avoid them or act them out on others for them to compensate for us. Because then we just become an inaccessible and defensive one-dimensional surface. A superficial face without content and with a borrowed character whose morality draws its nourishment from the frustration of how it constantly compensates for an overall sense of inadequacy, and the rejection it implies of a genuine human participation of it both in ourselves and in its relationship to others. It is not a performance, something we act out for others but a genuine participation in life from within life itself. But how damn hard isn’t it to give it up and leave the character we pretend to be that has become our substitute identity, and put it with all its endless compensations aside. And at the same time really experience the feeling of rejection it creates for us by constantly generating it by highlighting it in others. For them to entertain so that we escape the emptiness behind a face that has no real relationship to our own content. And to make it even worse, we blame people around us for the criticism we experience from within our own self-regulating mental balance, or equanimity, for being fake since it questions our identity as we see it through the face of our own reflection of it through others around us.

We all try, more or less, depending on how present we are in relation to our mental equilibrium, to find a balance between our impressions, impulses, and instincts, in between our inner person and their original psychic sources by the states and reaction patterns they habitually create. Trying to do it for others is impossible and only leads to us feeling inadequate, frustrated and even inferior. We can only find our own balance between their sources and the compensations we ourselves make of them in our relationship to them and our own mental equilibrium. But by promoting equanimity in others we also generate it in ourselves, and the other way around. Not by trying to be it in others for them but by concentrating on it in ourselves because otherwise we are only back in the constant repetition of compensations and immature and childish mental dependencies on ideas, personal memories, collective history and sensations that arise around us in others’ compensations of the inner equilibrium in them, where we are incessantly trying to restore our own inner balance in the relationship we have with it through others, since we for various reasons do no longer have access to it in ourselves. In this way, we shape our lives according to others’ compensations for it and become spokespeople for how others’ mental balance is compensated within them. Not for the experiences we ourselves have of equanimity in relation to how we ourselves act based on it in our own personal lives. Establishing it is also where the original source of wisdom and mental healing appears as the insight that by itself naturally guides us with the right attention. But we must not get too attached to this equanimous function, because then we risk creating an impossible standard for ourselves and others to live up to. Because it is a mental balance that is part of life, where morality is something embodied in the experience of this balance, and not something we should judge ourselves and others by. Without equanimity, there is no genuine morality, no absolute essence of being, but only a concept of what it is and not a direct personally perceived experience of it. We become capable of almost every conceivable horror and abuse because without our mental balance we lack the fundamental state of mind that makes the true sincerity it implies a real and living reality. That’s what our conditioning does to it, and it becomes our world.

When we lose our mental equilibrium or absolute state of beingness, and its relationship to the original whole, we develop a constant defense against it as against an invisible enemy, against everything that threatens the little psychic peace and tranquility its independence still grants us. But that is not enough, we still feel exposed and vulnerable. Often defenseless against the violations of it by an unforgiving surrounding world. On the one hand, we are defensive against everything that seeks genuine participation and belonging, and on the other hand, we do the same thing to others in our attempts to hide our inner imbalance by making ourselves omniscient models of virtue. Since we ourselves cannot maintain our mental equilibrium, we cannot promote it in others either. We feel stressed and doubt our own resources and the support we experience from their original sources within us. Our world becomes the compensations we use to hide the vulnerability of no longer having access to it. We cannot share our own experiences of our psychic space with others without feeling threatened and rejected from them, because we understands it as an assault from others when our mental balance, regardless of our attitude, tries to recreate our relationship to the self-reflective inner peace and tranquility it constantly balances within us. Something we constantly carry with us and compensate for as part of the belonging it conveys to us in the whole of nature itself in its relationship to the function our mental equilibrium assists us with, of which we are a part as it relates us to it also from within ourselves. In addition to seeing and measuring ourselves against this invisible scale, it is also something we perceive in the motives that shape all the constant compensations that affect the personal equilibrium in the political world, in journalism, social media and the patterns of virtue we profess in all our ideals. So we constantly judge others on a scale we can never live up to because it is not based on our own personal experiences of it, but on how we compensate for its influence on us through others. Which creates a sense of inadequacy where we will do almost anything to free ourselves from the mental guilt and self-inspecting obligation we feel it punishes us with.

It is from the experiences we have of the reaction patterns that are shaped by the states their original sources have within us, whose inner figures are those that precede the emergence of that which leads us to the discovery of the functional psychic equilibrium that we perceive as the absolute state of beingness. Something that is not possible without our inner person and its communication with them. The first one of them we observe in our mood. Its emergence in the psychic atmosphere that it creates as a tension around us and that we then also perceive in others and as part of the psychic space that separates the experience we have of it from the physical world. Then it is the one who nurtures and cares for our inner person. To ensure that it enters this world safely. It is she who comforts and nurtures the body within the body, as a beingness of something in itself within us. Our subtle body. Finally it is she who challenges it. Gives it strength and develop our structural mental stability and curage. Who makes us stand up for it and the inner reality it creates as the inviolability of the nature she fiercely defends. The cultivation of our mental roots and its balance is then transferred to the relation of our inner person’s female sister, our companion and mistress. All in one in a single figure visualizing our former experiences of her relationship to motherhood in a cultural sense that we experienced through her in our conditional belonging and context. But her true meaning emerges in her relationship to Nature and the balancing of the mind she creates to it as a greater whole when we experience nature not only within us, but through her also our own nature as part of nature as something we are in, and as a mental balance between them, as something we are in as much as it is in us, all the time. Together they form a greater whole on which the psychic balance establishes itself in a functional sense, in relation to our lives. This balance is also the one that directs our attention not only to the original whole, but also to its original source of insight, and the wisdom it conveys as a guide in a meditative sense and in direct relation to how we apply this state of equilibrium in relation to our lives and psychic development as we live it. If we do not become too attached to the mental balance in itself in a way that is limited to its psychic functionality alone, and to the counterpart of our inner person in its relationship to nature, or just Nature, as an experience of the psychic sphere we find ourselves within, which in itself is something we simultaneously perceive as part of something that exists in that which is not us and is beyond us. In an older traditional sense, they constitute the sources in a figurative sense of the psychic background content that lies behind our sensations and formulate our impressions in their psychic contexts that form the states and behavioral patterns that surround their origin. It is when we exclusively formulate them and give them form based on their formless interaction and not how we experience their influence on us that we get stuck in thoughts, habitual behaviors and conditioned reaction patterns. Without a conscious relationship to this primordial mental balance, we turn ourselves and the interaction we have with our psychic content into a garbage dump not only for ourselves but also for others in their lack of a conscious relationship to it. Which creates a psychological imbalance with constantly unpredictable compensations that often, together with the imbalance of people around us, harm not only themselves but often many others. All kinds of psychological abuse, self-righteousness, war, flamboyant behavor, presenting oneself as a model of virtue are part of it along with the feeling of being excluded from the whole and living with a feeling of being inadequate or insignificant in relation to the original whole that we have within ourselves. The preconscious cultural layer of historical psychic content must be experienced and transformed within us in direct relation to how we perceive ourselves and how it affects us now. In order for us to be able to rediscover the original contact with our inner sources and the patterns that their states and functions give rise to. These ladies beyond the Arthurian lady of the lake could of course be seen against a strictly traditional Sami background, or solely as something transferred into our relationships with women through our impulses and impressions and instincts, offering an oppurtunity that is also a too great of a burden for any woman to carry for us because we will endanger to miss out not only on our original psychological background, its intentions and the experiential knowledge this conveys, but also in our true relationship to a real woman in and of herself.

When we spend days in solitude in a meditatively concentrated way, we will soon discover the absolute foundation we have within us. It expresses itself in an absolute state of mental equilibrium, stillness and peace. We become so attached to it that everything else in our senses will be perceived as questioning this original equilibrium. But it is not ours in the sense of mine. We will also discover that the absolute psychic foundation we are in is in the nature around us as well. It is within us, in all of us, and everywhere around us. It is in us as we are in it. We are all in it all the time. It can be likened to an initiation. Where we enter a balance in life that is determined by how we relate to it. Some will always remain psychologically immature in that sense because it involves a challenge of how we relate not only to ourselves but also to this balance of mind in relation to all life that not everyone desires or can endure. We are called even if we stay here and only experience it as ours in relation to our ego and see this inner balance from its meaning in relation to its fleeting compensations to its surroundings. Our inner equilibrium is a scale on which we are weighed against a feather. Before we discover this and let go of it, in the sense of our attachment to it, we will notice how our emotional movements, impulses and impressions move restlessly everywhere around us. But they are loosening now or have begun to loosen from their previously accustomed directions, and habitual behavior. Our mental equilibrium becomes how we weigh and evaluate how we choose to meet the original whole that nature has now become for us. Whether we encounter it as if it were outside of us or within us, it works the same way. If we abandon it too much and in our sense of accomplishments and brilliance, or make ourselves a kind of conditioned pattern of virtue, people around us, or if we ourselves are exposed to it, will perceive it as a psychological assault. We experience it as someone trying to hijack and replace our inner psychological equilibrium with the content of themselves and their merits. With their habitual patterns of virtue. We will experience it as if we are being rejected from the being that our nature is within us, and from the whole it is together with the nature we find ourselves in. That wholeness is experienced as being devalued and mixed with the feeling of insignificance that the violation of the equilibrium brings with it. On the other hand, it also conveys an experience of inadequacy because it is about experiences that we do not ourselves have in relation to our own psychological conditions and sources. Mixed together in this way, it will convey the impression of being incompetent, of never reaching a standard based on our own inner conditions. We will become anxious and psychologically stressed, and do real damage to the absolute ground we share with everything both within ourselves and in others in the absence of the balance of mind that this original wholeness is. We discover this when we become capable of observing it both in ourselves and in others from within its lack of concentration, disordered behavior, and in the constant flight it puts us in as it tries to compensate for its lost equilibrium through its reaction pattern of restlessness, because we are always in it, as an experience of this interior of the exterior, which we find ourselves in at all times. It leads to and functions as the living essence of psychic insight that results from accessing the right kind of concentration.

The further into life we have come, the clearer it becomes that the importance of the body as the only means of communication with our surroundings decreases. Our external senses convey information on its own conditions as usual and we observe it, but they no longer have the same importance if they are not also at the same time put in relation to our inner person as a subtle material presence, to the eidetic impressions and sensations we have, and to the meditative self-reflective content they create in relation to our surroundings. They are the original sources of our mental states who shape the behavioral patterns that characterize our experiences. They formulate in and of themselves the properties that we can derive back to our structural psychological conditions. The body in this sense and the conditions it conveys acquire a subordinate importance in relation to them. Through our self-observation, we begin to experience the meditative interpersonal space where we begin to perceive ourselves as outside the performance-oriented self-absorption and absence that we have instinctively repeated in relation to the body, where our sexuality governs our undeveloped mental relationships on the body’s terms. Which distorts and idealizes it with properties that do not belong to the relationships we attribute to it. It does not contribute the underlying information that constitutes the fundamental condition to which our being is related. But in balance, it conveys, together with our psychic life and its meditative space, the original place of wholeness that is fundamental for the person within us in its experience of a more genuine relationship to nature and the greater whole that it brings to us as a part of it from within. In a traditional meditative context, this corresponds to the first jhana and is something we encounter early in our young relationships. But without any way of understanding how our psyche operates and interacts with the body, what it means for our interaction with the mental processes they gives rise to, it is only later, when we have gone through how we have applied it in our lives, that we can evaluate what we went through under its conditions, why we sustained them, and why we had to do it. I also suspect that much of the strong opinions and uncertainty that arise around gender issues have their origin in this change and the conviction that our self-image previously had when it was only characterized by our relation to the body, and very little by our inner person in its meditative and self-inspecting context. Because when our inner person begins to emerge within us, we also gradually lose our old undeveloped identity whose belonging we have previously exclusively seen through the body, and through the preconscious mental processes we have expressed by it and associated with our sexuality through a person of our opposite sex. Which when this happens, begins to dissolve and change its meaning, and transform into coherent experiences of contrasexual qualities. Something that then occur both within ourselves and as a composite experience of qualities we discover that others simultaneously, without us identifying with them, relate to in their own way. We perceive them as if they were events that interact with us and that occur simultaneously within others as psychic properties in themselves, which also relate us to nature as a whole from within. It also brings about a separation that creates a greater sense of context and belonging.

Simply having a multitude of experiences and the opinions that surround them has no real authenticity in human relationships. It is when we absorb them in our self-observation and then laboriously trace them back on our own to their origin and source that we discover the experiental patterns that their mental states create, in which we also rediscover the absolute human foundation of stillness and calm that we have within us. But not by suppressing them because then we can neither follow how we have applied them, do it now, nor evaluate them. We can then stop personalizing everything that happens that makes us capricious and restless because we no longer have to resist an abundance of impulses and impressions and constantly meet them with objections and aversion. We can simply begin to acknowledge them for what they are in and of themselves as they arise or come to us even though the experiences we encounter of these patterns and mental states have arisen in the relationships that people around us have with these same sources within them. But as long as we personalize them, we will be the cause of and inflict on ourselves and others all sorts of psychological and social suffering.

For me, stillness is what makes it possible to see creation as something we can formulate in our own words as something present and constantly ongoing in our own experiences of it. It is like watching and participating in how our psyche works through self-observation as it engages in an underlying community with others and exchanges content while occurring at the outer limits of consciousness at the same time. And formulate what is from that experience. It is like staring into the void and the ongoing beginning of everything. As in a constant repetition of something out of nothing. From this nothingness space emerges. Space is consciousness, and consciousness is energy. This energy enfolds the information which materializes in the mind and creates content out of the energy states that in and of itself appears as perspicacity from its formless sources. When the Information is perceived by consciousness, the energy is separated from its information and released into space which causes it to expand, which means that consciousness also expands as more and more energy is released into it by the information that is processed by consciousness in its relationship to space. In this sense, the content of space that our senses convey, and its inherent energy, is also everything we relate to in it. Everything is related to everything, and forms a context of energy that constitutes the experience of an amalgamation with the original whole in which consciousness is what we use in it to observe the parts that relate us to its source as it interacts with the content we encounter in there. There is no fixed state to be found separate from everything else, and the ego loses its individual significance of trying to exist on its own terms. What we refer to as personality becomes the growing sum of the experiences we have of the interdependent relationships this fundamental content encounters in our lives. Apart from the repeated sum of mental accumulations whose events contain the ongoing human conditioning of all time. Nothingness is something that goes beyond that, to that which is in and of itself in everything, and shows us the formless pattern of becoming we see as a primordial state of all possible ways of relating to the reality and emergence of nature in consciousness, in space and time, everywhere.

The nothingness we experience so intensely when we see it through our own nature can be extremely frightening to us if we are mentally completely unprepared for it when it appears within us. We think that everything is over when we encounter it in any of the relationships we have to the world around us, or to it as a whole. Not that it makes us see creation as something within ourselves and others independent of them and the wishes and demands we want them to fulfill for us so that we don’t have to confront it, and the change in our attitude to our meditative attention it entails. It is truly a frightening devastation it creates around the special position that the ego has had until this occurs within us. But at the same time it also draws our attention to the source of the act of creation itself, the underlying qualities that surround it and whose origin is defining for different psychological states of consciousness within us, and also to what the relationship looks like around us to them. We see clearly the meditative self-observational logic that surrounds it within us and that it imposes a task on us in our own personal relationship to it. Were it not for this experience, the pressure from nothingness in its relationship to the emergence and content of consciousness would be overwhelming and we would perish by it. The step to seeing nothingness as space itself, its expansion as consciousness, and approaching it with the logic of the psyche as an integral part of the experiences we have when we interact with the qualities that appear in our preconscious background, makes us also seek creation reflected through the content of the night sky and in a mixed version of psychic content with cosmic events, and is something we have done since the dawn of time. Although today it seems to be more about the energy that formulates its content than about the context and significance of the underlying objective content in relation to its internal order. Anyway, we can never escape the fact that where space ends, nothingness begins. Whether we see it within ourselves or as a cosmic limitation of all existence.

With every insight comes a definite psychic pattern of how we deal with its meaning and significance. First we experience the direct rapture and involvement, the applied thought and our evaluation of it. Then our confirmation of it as an inner assurance of the authenticity that our involvement conveys to us in our rapture. After that, a deep pleasure arises in our involvement before it completely transitions into an inner equilibrium and clarity and an unconcerned state of stillness and awareness. But that is not all. Here also arises the psyche experienced as a timeless infinity. Where consciousness in it assumes an indefinite ever-growing expanse in a tangible sense of nothingness. Devastating for our inner balance if we are not yet psychologically mature enough to face the ego’s identification with it, or we are forced into this experience in our life when we are not ready for it. But when we prepare ourselves to let go of our ego’s hold on it, through our inner maturation process, we see how our pattern of insight and perspicacity repeats itself over and over again until we accept how our mind works and our sensations gain their independence in relation to our conscious presence in it. We realize that it has never been about our ego, but about how we relate to the information it receives from sources beyond it. How we conceptualize it is up to each one of us, but to share them culturally we need terms that give us a reference to them that at the same time make it possible for us to face the intensity of the states that they create within us. That is why it is so important that we also have some knowledge of how our meditative technique is structured when we interact with our psychic logic. Otherwise we risk it being lost in the ego’s limiting identification with our psychic content. Still unknown to many, this process was documented thousands of years ago. It was collected in the knowledge of the different stages of the jhanas and their relationship to our sensations, and still constitutes a good description of how our mind operates apart from our bio-chemical analysis of it. When we perceive this in relation to our own experiences, to the objects of our senses, our emotions, our body and our body perception, it becomes clear that our ego is not what creates our psychic content. Rather, it is each person’s own relationship to the content that consciousness consists of. Furthermore, it is probably from the experiences we encounter here with our underlying mental properties and the psychic states they are surrounded by that our creation stories come from. Where they try to describe the emergence of consciousness from nothingness. Into the infinite space. Where the psychic energy is transformed through its embodiment of information as sensations, and its inherent energy is released as consciousness and it shapes the world from its dormant and formless preconscious primordial state outside of time. It is to continuously observe the creation as it happens within us. All the time. Anyone who works at the edge of consciousness and with the knowledge that arises there knows what I mean. Even though we are most concerned with what arises there in terms of how useful it is to the ego, and not in the psychic environment that provides us with our content. Which turns our inner maturation process and how our minds work into a health problem because most of us have no way to assimilate what we learn through direct experience or what it is that is constantly going on inside us other than in a materialistisk way.

Breaking free from the psychic sphere of conditioning that has shaped our early relationships up to a certain point in life is no small feat. At best, it has served us by granting us a state of belonging which provides us with a sense of security in social conventions behind an attitude of righteousness and faith in the upholding of society’s laws and rules, and condemn everything that does not conform to the customs and practices that control our conditioning in it. Whether it concerns individuals or groups living in it now or that have lived in it side by side for several generations. But what are we really driven to break free from by the challenge that forces us into an incredibly intense inner ordeal. For around us, we can simultaneously see what happens if we fail to do so. The pressure from within creates such an inner imbalance that we often have to compulsively live out our needs to change as our impulses make unpleasant interruptions in our otherwise impregnable attitude of the right kind of conduct. Without really realizing that it is the identification with the righteousness of our conditioning that we are trying to break away from, and the experience that we no longer belong to it, and thereby taking it upon ourselves to personify and answer for what is not permitted by the righteousness-based attitude. But that doesn’t mean we are bad, and that we have to personify the bad that conventionality bestows on us or anyone else. Often with good help from an uncomprehending and judgmental collective environment. Our conditioning can no longer assist us from within and exclusively be what guides us. We need to live through the tension that arises in our encounter with the opposite, that which questions our attitude in order to be able to formulate who we are in and of ourselves. If we cannot handle that tension and give in to it, it often follows that we not only violate social conventions but also the societal rules and laws that regulate them. We see ourselves as outside of them, and the ideals of righteousness that govern them. We can no longer see ourselves personifying the haughty one-sidedness it represents outside our inner person and without the psychic context and origin that we struggle with when trying to find our way back to the larger coherent and original sense of a whole. We all have it within us. But the majority of us will never change and will go to great lengths to try to appear worthy of the ideals of the common good in the belief that we are thereby always just good through and through. Which will contribute to the fact that the some people around them, out of pure self-preservation, if we are still young or psychologically immature, compensate for this by personifying what is rejected and question the content of the righteous attitude. Many will see themselves as inadequate, deviant and helplessly inept, which makes them personify it behind an provocative, hostile, or indifferent attitude that is derogatory towards both themselves and to others. Both are however a perspective that starts from how we choose to relate to the absolute foundation of our being. It is a relationship that is not determined by words and opinions which condition the connection and communication with our inner person in its psychic environment, but by a deeper relationship to the authenticity and inner stillness that is absolutely decisive for our ego and fundamental in the ongoing communication it has with our inner being.

At some point during our psychological reflection we will encounter the emergence of the mind-made body, a mentally visualized experience of the body that, due to the diminishing importance of the ego, begins to take precedence in our consciousness. It is experienced as an energy field, a template or a mental form for our body organising its biology. We begin to be able to read it while we generally also feel it in of all its separate parts. In the same way that we do it with our physical body if something is not right in it. We read the energy that surrounds a certain area or an organ to locate what makes us feel if there is something there that is not right. In the same way, we read the mental form that organizes and arranges the formation and functionality of our body which we mutually interact with as it do with us. We begin to see ourselves and relate to the world around us through it and perceive how this perspective affects us. The pre-formatted forms of perceptions in our preconscious psyche are opened up and the energy states they create lead us back to their origins. To the raw non-literal and non- material knowledge of life as experience. One way this approach has been documented is through meditative self-inspection, and in the practice of the psychic processes described by the jhanas in the Indian tradition of mental inner work, whose methodology, step by step, with observation, insight and understanding of the functionality of its conditions describes the psyche in relation to our impressions and impulses, which bit by bit reduces the importance of the ego and makes us aware of our mental form of the body and our interaction with it. Jhanas are living states that alternately merge into each other in our lives before we begin to be able to follow them as separate processes in relation to the body, our emotions, our senses and their underlying content, and observe them in and of themselves as interconnected parts of our mental life. Jhanas describes how the psyche functions in relation to the conscious content to which the ego relates us, and makes us aware of the inherent mental states that we, by merging with them, and become absorbed by, then leave for the physical becoming of our mental embodiment for our inner person. They create a kind of psychic balance of two different realities between them. Without it, we lack content and experience ourselves and others as empty or hollow. Our thoughts and actions are not based on our own psychological experiences but are filled in for us by others. When that happens, we turn into fathers to others’ relationships to their inner source and mothers to others’ meditative reflection and psychological content. To the emotional content that we provide them with from ourselves. It becomes our constant cycle of interaction. We cannot endure that relationship within ourselves, alone, and separate from others and yet together with them on our own individual terms. The only relationship that remains between us then becomes on the terms of the body and is mostly determined by our sexuality. Which turns it into a gender issue in relation to others instead of about the experiences we gain at the absolute foundation of our being and which we encounter during our meditative psychological reflection. We have opinions but no fundamental meditative experience of what it is. This seems to be the prevailing state of social life today. We give ourselves no time to engage in an active meditative psychic life reflecting on the terms that are determined by the preconscious content that influences our psychic states and accompany our actions from behind of our personal impressions and impulses. We just act them out directly and believe that we are expressing our uniqueness when we do so. Regardless of how they affect others. If we are in any way prevented from acting out our parental figures within us and replacing others’ communication with themselves, or are not allowed to replace others’ embodied psychic content of belonging and connectedness with our own, we react with resistance, reluctance and misdirected defenses, or with a suppressive compromise of our true inner needs, which makes us distance ourselves from each other and from the nature that unites us through self-observation and with our inner person through its experiential relationship to our consciousness. I have discovered that just by being aware of them within myself I increase my acceptance and allow for the opinions of others in terms that I don’t always have to relate to myself. It’s not about whether I can agree with them or not. I have my own independent of my inner parental figures’ functional ways of confounding them with others’, and exchange them together with others in their relationship to their inner selves if the conditions arise. I don’t have to try to share everything that happens between me and my person if our interpersonal connection doesn’t exist. It is not to relate, being someone else’s thought, emotion, or sensation. That’s identifying with the primordial wholeness. Instead of it being where we follow our inner person on its life’s journey.

Not many people I meet or associate with have given much thought to their consciousness. What it means to them or what its scope means for their ego’s relationship to it both in itself and to its content. But if we meditate or take an interest in our psychologically reflective logic, it immediately becomes something that we must relate to in our own unique way. Because in one sense it is a psychic place. An embodiment of the formless life we have in relationship to a larger psychic realm of life. In another the place where we store the ego’s relationships to our experiences. An interpersonal space where we encounter the world from within. A place which is empty in itself. It has two inlets. One comes from the relationship the ego has to our senses. The other from the relationship it has to our psyche and the inlet of the preconscious reality into it. The place we originally also come from before we entered this world. Together these inlets form a common constant flow in our consciousness. Mental events and phenomena originating beyond consciousness are then mixed with, and meet experiences from our five senses that the counterpart of our ego in the preconscious, the second center, or ”sixth” sense uses when their opposites encounter each other in our psychic life and unites them into insights for the ego to absorb in order for the scope of consciousness to grow by releasing and assimilating its inherent energy. Experiences that will ultimately also dissolve our conditioning. The ego’s way of habitually separating out what it wants to constitute as the totality of our conscious content. But if we identify with its contents, consciousness remains in its original state. Everything in it turns into temporary outbursts of an erratic ego that becomes defensive, restless and appears confused and unfocused as impressions and impulses turn into material objects without any context or affiliation beyond it.

It is a surprise to me that traditional Indian meditation techniques have long since mapped out and documented by practice what our capacity for psychic reflection looks like when we participate in it. First by calming our psychic activity down to the point that we can observe them in and for themselves, and then by focusing on their content and origin. Which in turn makes us participants in the processes that formulate us in an overall human perspective without reservation and over the entire span of humanity. We think that our knowledge of the psyche’s chemistry means that we know how our minds work when we use it. When in fact, it was described in detail a long time ago. By following our sensations and our thoughts in detail, and articulating our ability to absorb them step by step. Following them with a clear head, it allowed people to perceive a broader scope of our psychic functionality in those states whose characteristics lead us back to our psychic origins, to its underlying influence on how we perceive ourselves. How they relate us to the world and processes our sensory impressions and mental activity in it. They made it possible for everyone, based on each one’s personal conditions and experiences, to do so consciously in self-observation and in each individual state we experience on our way to a deeper understanding of how our psychic processes work and operate within us, for everyone who chooses to do so. With an understanding of the inherent procedural order that alternately affects and is affected by our lives and our life experiences, from which our insights are then formulated by our meditative presence. Many of them with origins that cannot be directly derived from our current lives but are something that has been latent and dormant within us waiting to be activated through our practice of meditation and psychological self-reflection. These can appear suddenly through bursts of perspicacity, visual impressions, in our dreams and in meditation. From these states can also emerge what affect us with an incredible intensity, which can make us begin to encounter them for what they are in themselves, and for the information they convey to us. Their emergence works in such a way that by giving us an experiential context for them, we can encounter them, capture their intensity and then follow them back into their preconscious psychic origins. But without an orderly process for these states, they simply become overwhelming and their real context and living underlying purpose are lost. We cannot absorb the energy that arises in our encounter with them. The contact between their origin and the information they convey is interrupted because we cannot endure their intensity and they are transformed into something untouchable and material. That is the natural reaction to what happens when the ego’s supremacy in our consciousness diminishes. It resorts to faith, animosity and to dead mental objects with no other affiliation than to the ego’s exaggerated view of its own importance outside the reality of our meditative life. Ultimately, this can destroy us, or we can end up harming other people because of the frustration our own meditative shortcomings generate, which then become psychological events that are only possible for us to follow through our demands and expectations on others.

When we are completely ignorant of how our inner father figure influences us in relation to people around us, this will come between us and others in a way that makes us try to become fathers for others’ communication with their inner person and its sources of psychic experiences in relation to our life. We constantly imagine that this relationship is at the same time our business and that we are to replace others with ourselves. We come between them and their inner family in their relationship with each other, and above all with the source of insight, perspicacity and communication that we have in an embodied sense together with its counterpart that creates context and belonging in the physical world as psyche, matter and nature. The conflict this creates within us is something we then repeat with others when we dramatize our shortcomings with this in our lives trying to establish them within us. To make this connection to our psyche a reality. If we are appointed by our parents to be fathers for their inner person’s communication with their inner source, we early in our lives develop an exaggerated sense of our own importance. In the same way that if we are to carry the relationship that our maternal counterpart gives us in the form of belonging and connection, we become mothers who by our maternal principle try to carry the need of others to connect to it from their experience of the psychic world, and replace the greater maternal influence they have of nature with our own, for them to have ours in the relationship between them and people in their own psychic environment. Without our inner parents in their relationship to our inner person and its contrasexual counterpart, a terrible confusion and psychic disorder arises. Which fills us with psychic stress, imbalance and anxiety. We have no fundamental security in the innermost foundation of our being. Or how to express it as mature beings. The relationship to the experience we have of a greater whole of which we are a part gets suppressed and lost since we deprive nature of its own inner source of knowledge and experience which turns everything in it into objects without content, into dead matter. In a sense, our relations will lack interpersonal content and becomes empty. This is why the realm of Sáivu was so important in traditional Sami life. It make us stop believing and begin participating in the experiential psychic content beyond our external senses.

When we are completely unaware that our mental actions have an origin other than the ego, we become selfish in the sense that all psychic activity is identified with the ego and its need to control that activity because everything that happens outside its control questions its dominance in relation to the activity around it. The psyche then becomes personified in feminine form. When we see our psyche as something in itself and in relation to the ego, the psyche becomes soul and the formless experience we have of it as something we share with everything else in some form of its content and as an extension of our interpersonal psychic reflection. At the same time, we discover that the origin of its content has several other sources than we were previously certain of. We reach into that where all psychological processes and life experiences take place. Which in the old Sami tradition was described as a relation to Radien niejta/Saivo niejta and theirs to Rádienáhkká. Soul in this sense becomes the embodied content in which we personify our experiences of the larger scope to which this is a relation. Both in an earthbound and in an underground preconscious meaning of psychic life as a whole. An experience of a larger whole where perception is particatory and actively involves all beings in each other’s existence.

One thing about our existence is that we have a relationship to a source we experience as inspired intelligence which acts completely independent of the ego upon us. Ever present and dormant in and of itself until it interacts with our lives and creates information of psychic experiences. A kind of ordering psychic principle that unites opposites with insight that seems enveloped in energy and erupts spontaneously when we are stuck in a state of repetition, empty words and concepts without any apparent access to our preconscious underlying psychic flow as a connection to the content of a larger coherent whole, or the eidetic forms whose presence creates belonging to it and makes it available to our consciousness. A part of this androgynous whole communicates with the source of what we call intelligence and knowledge in the form of insight. In a cultural sense, it comes into active expression through our inner eidetic father figure in its cultural relationship to our inner person. When they are confused with each other, we get a father figure with qualities that do not belong to it but to a deeper more complex formless experience. We begin to relate knowledge and insight in the form of a father to this source beyond him. Or to this psychic source of insight as to a father of that not only to us but to others as well. We create an exaggerated view of our own importance. To something that our inner person should conveys to us. If I use an older phenomenological language for the inspiration that psychic events of this kind are, it would be that we turn to our surroundings for them to be like fathers to this inner unifying principle of perspicacity, or god. If they should fail as inspirers of this knowledge, then they are false and we behave as they are something we should just deny and get rid of. But it is not the relationship we have to this source that is wrong, or how we express it, it is our ego that identifies itself with them. We make them properties and states that do not occur independently of the ego in and of themselves, to something that the ego itself claims to be the original cause of. But the relationship to the insight and knowledge the ego receives in our consciousness and the inspiration this conveys is coming from a living and spontaneously occurring source beyond it. Deeply rooted in nature itself and in the contexts and affiliations that the counterpart to it in the androgynous whole conveys to us in an embodied way. The ego’s confusion, its narcissism and irrational behavior appear when they are not objectively present in a self-observing way, and if they have been lost to us in others, or something we have learned and been conditioned to by undeveloped fathers and mothers in their inability to express them early in our lives. One thing is certain, if we are ignorant of this, we will make people and things into materialized fathers for the inner spontaneous source of inspiration we relate to in many different ways as a connection to this second center, nexus or traditional image of a supreme being regardless of how we choose to describe the insights and forms of psychological context that this source expresses in a cultural sense. Just by writing this down, I am listening and following many different branches of this indefinable communication that emerges with it as it guides my inner person along them and brings my thoughts and sensations to an intended conclusion within me. This is something that always happens within us at the same time as it also lead us back to its elusive origins. Which is impossible to achieve with just the ego alone.

A kind of psychic conjunction occurs at a certain point in our life where the energies of the involved eidetic references we use to describe our experiences are in an alignment where they blend their impact on us and amplify each other. This happens as they are eclipsed by the ego which shadows the original wholeness and distort its influences and creates a kind of black sun. Something we can call a psychological black hole event. This event makes it possible for us to look straight into it, close to its event horizon. We can begin to observe the space that surrounds it without damaging our eyes. By maintaining our distance from it without getting sucked into it, we are observing the impact it has on us through meditative self-inspection, and we can see more clearly and deeply into ourselves. That in turn makes it possible to penetrate much deeper into this psychic space behind the ego and close in on what it up to now was that was hidden behind it. This opens up a path for us, a kind of journey into how our experiences are made to happen by psychic conditions prior to the actual events and we get a glimpse of their origins and independence of our ego. We have then made it back to our original sense of a whole as adult people to continue our common work to mature from within in our relation to nature and its underlying preconscious space in and of itself. It means directly and unknowingly allowing oneself to be exposed to raw unprocessed psychic experiences and events as they are, not trying to control them in a literal sense, but observing them, their energy, and the information they convey to our consciousness in the form of the experiences they create as they interact with our lives. Something that also causes our consciousness to expand.

We all express a kind of confused personified mixture of the objective content of inspiration and the relationship to it as psyche: on the one hand as an indeterminate experience-based, transient communication with our impressions and on the other as impulses that function as an erratic and spontaneously fascinating spark of a psyche that behaves innocently in relation to what it contains. They appear within us as an androgynous mixture of qualities that mix up the world and nature with the world from within, with nature in and of itself. Everything becomes one in the original whole that we seek to return to as adults by trying to free ourselves from the tension and pressure that emerges between them in their opposites within us. From a traditional Sami perspective, we experience Radien nieita and Saivo nieita as one together with Radiengiedde. The psyche and the world leave their materialized and dormant relationship to their content as if they were one and the same thing within us, and become experienced as separate in a formless experience-based state of inner community and outer belonging. United in the communication of Radien giedde with the underlying intelligence and order conveyed by Radien-attje and the deeper connection to the world that nature Radien niejta/Saivo niejta has to Radienahkka. They are transformed into the psychic content of the world that we encounter as something both within ourselves and everywhere around us seen and experienced from within, through those who provide us with it in the eidetic portrayals we use, to give our experiences both meaning and content in our lives.

For me, this second opinion within me, this intelligence and organization that it brings about through the union of opposites, is the unifying psychic principle and source that in an embodied sense is encompassed by a sense of wholeness that gives meaning to the insight it conveys. At the same time, together they bring about a deeper union between the contents of my senses and the Nature of which they are a part. Which makes it possible for us to directly relate to the experiences that arise from them in other people and to encounter them there beyond the eidetic representations they generate which make them accessible to us in our consciousness. It is nothing that the ego is the origin of. It is not the ego that creates consciousness. At best, it relates us impartially to its content. Which means that we can face what emerges outside of it and our consciousness in an open, authentic and unreserved way. Since consciousness consists of the energy that surrounds the information that is released through insights conveyed to us from beyond it, which causes consciousness to expand, we may even conceptually refer to these processes in contemporary terms as something like quantum psychology. However, this is not possible to comprehend as long as they are unconditionally united with our inner parental pair and our ego simultaneously identifies with the significance they have for the communication between them and the cultural community they create in relation to our direct and unconditional psychic experiences beyond our eidetic images of them. Relationships, thoughts, feelings and sensory perceptions are then regarded as literal truths and seen only in terms of unshakable material facts. The maturity that a renewed contact with the original whole entails for the context it conveys has not yet emerged in us. Our senses and Nature are still experienced as one and the same thing through our identification with our impulses and impressions. Not as the physical and embodied commonality they imply for us in an inner deeper and morally direct sense, in relation to all our relationships experienced as parts of a greater coherent whole of life. In Sami, people are related to this whole in the sense of meahcci.

At a certain point of meditative psychic inspection, everything becomes formless. We encounter our sense perceptions as they are. Our inner family is still there on an embodied plane but without the influence it had there from the beginning. Instead, we discover the character of the formless driving force that exists beyond them that we perceive as intelligence, as ordering, and as our inner movement. That which conveys insights as it encounters events in our lives. The nature within which our experiences are created of, which shapes and embodies them as they figuratively relate to us as belonging and context. It is this that formulates a kind of inner search for the source of the underlying order we see in ourselves as we identify with the psychic logic and intelligence within us that we try to rediscover in everything around us. My ego is not intelligence, it is a relationship to a formless quality beyond that which formulates my sense impressions so that psychic experiences in relation to their source create an inner underlying order in my life by their occurrence. Nature is an ordering process that I am part of. Where my sensory perceptions form a relationship to it as a whole and to the information that we perceive as instructions that form its underlying unifying function. Something we perceive that is in everything, that separates everything when we identify with it but always holds everything together in a atmosphere of wholeness. We begin to see ourselves in a metaphorical psychic field of energy that holds together all that exists in a dynamic and formless psychic experience of life. It is when we confuse this with someone elses, and they are doing the same thing, that we experience that we have been deeply wounded at the foundation of our being early in our lives. As if this intelligence and ordering principle were something that belonged to the ego and it could determine for others how they should relate to it in themselves. The undeveloped or immature mind personifies it and identifies it with our inner eidetic perception of a male parent, which transforms the ego into an uncompromising authority instead of a social and collective expression of the formless source of psychic logic we refer to behind the processes that are constantly going on in our nature and that organize our meditative inner life with a deeper support from the experiences that are conveyed to the ego by our inner person. We will always be deeply hurt if we expect our own relationship to it to also be assumed to have the same content as others’ between them and themselves. We share this background, its organizing inner principle, and its intelligence. But how it causes our consciousness to grow through insight and psychic maturity is our own, and differs between us even though they include that the communication that meets events in our lives has the same psychic origin. It is a deeply personal abuse to try to replace the communication between others and themselves with our own. Yet this naive and immature approach is the prevailing way of trying to control that we retain our own first and undeveloped relationship to our inner sense of our original wholeness. All the conflicts we see around us are this conflict within us staged to recreate some kind of version of it. This first and original psychic reality is so fundamental within us that we do not see or consider the results of our actions, no matter how terrible they may be. From this perspective, news outlets and opinionated social media can also be perceived as almost incredibly uncomprehending to our psychological reality, and the mental actions they result in. By just paying attention to the results of our mental actions, not their origins within us, we do not get closer to our psychic reality or find what is genuine and authentic in our being, nor will it change what they do to our world when we stage them there.

At some point in our lives we return to the pristine place where the space of consciousness once emerged from the ever-present but dormant emptiness. But when we do so as adults, as our being matures, we also encounter all the psychological attractors that have influenced us, as they have interacted with us from this background in our lives. We also discover that once they have done so, and created the states in which they have made themselves present through the tension that arises in their active presence, they have also created experiences of the insightful coincidences that arise within us as they encounter our reality in the meditative self-reflection we have of our sensations, impressions and impulses and we slowly absorb the energy through our endurance, causing our mindfulness to expand, only to then retreat into the emptiness from which they arose if we endure their presence long enough. From time to time, however, we must always release them back into this background during our encounters with them until we can face them without losing our heads. Our inner balance and mental health depend on it. The fabricated characters whose attitudes we have put together to satisfy how we think others want to see us, then transform into the perspective we need to be able to see how they contaminate the content of the original whole within us, and the authenticity with which its activities relates to our inner life.

At first emptiness is a strange feeling. Although it is a constant but dormant activity in the background where our conscious space resides and our experiences of it are transformed into psychic matter and mental actions that interact with our lives all the time, creating experiences before retreating back to its original state, even if it is something we do not always observe or even pay attention to. Most often it seems that it is something that never really reaches a conscious level, but only affects us when it is perceived in its unprocessed forms of impressions and impulses without contact with our relationships or with the inner family that forms a context for our first relationship with our inner person’s relation to it, by which we also percieve it in its original psychic state of wholeness and in a peace of mind that it conveys to us as it exert their influence on us outside the directly experiential world around us. The tragedy of this is that no real person can fully possess all the qualities of the people in our inner family. That is why we find their real significance in the interpersonal or psychic sphere, and the dramatization of our relationships with them in relation to people around us. In unspoken demands, wishes and expectations that no real human being can fulfill without going far beyond the limits of our own personality at the expense of our inner balance and mental health. Which are mediated by our impressions and impulses that we immediately stage and act on when our minds are still not mature enough. When we are young or still psychologically immature, we experience this only from the frightening perspective of the emptiness and on the personal level of the ego, on its identification with our staging of our inner family. Our experience of them is through our physical parents and siblings. Then through our girlfriends, boyfriends, wives and husbands, and in people we look up to beyond them, who are transformed into the references we need to be able to handle the raw intangible experiences, whose psychic impact on us goes beyond all personal conceptualizations of them in our communication with the underlying preconscious states that convey the fundamental experiences we have of the foundation of our being. A much deeper context we obtain for the most part in nature as an embodiment of it in an inner comprehensive and universal experience of wholeness, together with the underlying communication that constantly takes place between us in relation to the source of information and directions our inner person is an intermediary for, and transform into psychic matter. Here is where the absorption occurs that makes it possible for us to take in the events we discern from the content of what this emptiness creates in our consciousness, where we can see ourselves through the experiences we have in our eidetic perceptions that form the relationship between the underlying stream of sensory impressions, impulses, thoughts and feelings, and our life. Beyond them there are no objects, no thoughts, just plain experiences.

If I were to let my ego also be the underlying stream of consciousness that at every moment follows every mental state and its process, I would go crazy. To a certain extent we are conditioned to do so because we try to adapt it to the expectations that the environment has of how we should be and behave. Not how this undercurrent’s relationship is to our inner person in its own relationship to it. But if we are it, if we identifies with it, then we are constantly being thrown around among sensations, impressions and impulses in a more or less arbitrary order without them having any direct connection with our person as a whole. It becomes fragmented and without a coherent relation to a psychic structure that gives it an inner connection in relation to its parts and a fundamental belonging to its creative source. We feel crowded upon and become stressed, anxious and irritated. But the underlying stream of consciousness is not ours to be. It is something in and of itself independent of the ego. Its original function is to provide consciousness with the information that arises in its encounter with events in our lives and to create experiences from it by means of the conditions that attractors create behind our mental processes that consciousness is then drawn into and get absorbed by, before withdrawing again when they have served their purpose. Otherwise it turns into a ”monkey mind”, constantly chattering if the ego identifies with the underlying stream of sensations and impressions where it tries to find ways to adapt it to its environment in its attempts to control it. But our identification with it confuses our ego, overwhelming it with intentions that do not belong to it, causing the stream of the preconscious mind to lose its context and create chaos outside of the original relationship it has to the content that we interact with through psychic reflection in a meditative sense. We will end up in a constant inner war with ourselves. Something that we then stage for people around us.

War is murder. In the same way as those committed in peacetime. The only difference between murders committed in war and those committed in peacetime is that the person who is subjected to the murder in war is assumed to have the right to respond to the murder with their own murder without it being considered murder. In this way, all murder is given a moral right in war if any party is considered to have been subjected to the murder they themselves commit. For which murder they then absolve themselves and are not to be held responsible for having committed either in a moral or legal sense. And so people can give themselves the right to repeat the murder in all eternity as long as it serves the trauma that is dramatized within them by others, and it at the same time serves the higher purpose of this drama. For example, to recreate the lost wholeness and its content that we related to when we were young and return to as adults in meditative reflection as the inner work that is required to regain the inner balance that the original wholeness once gave us. A longing that is experienced as an original paradisiacal, cohesive wholeness and belonging that we were once a part of and have lost. In that way, we are all responsible for our own encounter with the impulses in and of themselves, and the impressions that accompany them within us. So right now there is very little hope that anyone will dare to change. Because what constantly separates us from that experience is the idea of ​​the content of our mind and the qualities of the conditioned ego. This belief in the idea of ​​”me,” this experience of ”mine,” everything is about ”me.” These are ”my” things, this is ”my” idea, this is ”my” feeling, this is how ”I” feel. What ”I am”, this is ”my” body, this consciousness is ”my” consciousness; this exaggerated and fabricated sense of the composition of what ’I’ am, and its external drama of what we build around this idea of ​​me, and the people who follow this me of others to avoid what is playing out of it within themselves, that then turns people into cattle. It’s about a perspective. Not from our fabricated perception of our psychic makeup. But from the deep authenticity that the foundation of our person experiences in relation to the space, or emptiness from which consciousness and its relationship to the whole consist.

The fundamental feeling of having been rejected and deceived at the very core and foundation of our being has arisen when our environment’s relationship to the impact it has on us early in our lives has become distorted and denied in and of itself. As something we have a constant interaction with and is an absolutely present reality for us from an inner perspective. Like the empty stillness and creative peacefulness it represent in the sense of the original wholeness. From a survival perspective, we are forced to choose the conditioning that it means to adapt to it in order to obtain a context that gives us belonging and security early in our lives. But it also destroys the relationship to our original being in the sense of the authenticity it conveys to us regardless of the denial and indifference of an environment to it. We discover early on a clear and unreasonable dissonance between psychological events and the impact they have on people in our environment and how they behave in their relationships with them. Which causes them to behave in an emotionally and morally distorted way that, based on their behavior, cannot be made to be based in their own essence. But appear cognitively inhibited and undeveloped in relation to their own sensory perceptions and to the impressions and impulses that arise within them. Which causes them to act as if they posed a threat to their person by questioning their fabricated view of what they are, and how one should be in relation to this. Often through others because our psychic life is awakened and interacts with others in a way that makes us feel helpless in the face of our loosely composed personality and the underlying psychic factors that act on us from there.

If I imagine the whole I perceive myself as a part of and see it as a coordinate system in order to be able to orient myself in it, then the points in it will be the events that in and of themselves occur in the space that the coordinate system depicts. If I then experience these events as energy pulses that form experiential individual states of varying intensity in this whole, then each point functions as source of individual clearly distinguishable and deviating patterns in the surrounding field of psychic energy, which then in turn is what will constitute and fill the entire space of the psychic whole I am part of as an observer of the states that arise from the latent underlying psychic energy of the whole. In this way we use mathematical images to reference and describe distortions as events in the psychic space and the underlying whole that consciousness tries to take part of and orient itself in. As a larger composite quantity or at a more complex level of the smallest elements of existence as they interact with each other, these impulses shape individual experiences as they are formed, and then release the energy bound within it when we pay attention to it and allow ourselves to be absorbed by the information it encapsulates, causing consciousness to grow and expand. This is where the notion of a quantum-based world serves as a coherent picture of reality. Which is in line with the experiences we gain during meditative mental reflection. We also refer to it as psychic maturity when we can perceive this outside of a chosen coordinate system and describe it directly in the psychic reality we find ourselves in. To me, this represents a way of understanding physical experience and psychologically-based reality on a personal level, as a ”Grand Unified Theory”.

The encounter with the emptiness in which consciousness expands through the information that is packaged in the psychic energy we refer to as sudden insight, and as something that originates outside of consciousness, in the emptiness, there is also something conditioned and ingrained deep down in the core of our being in the feeling of, who will help me? Who supports and contributes with the guidance I need here? Who looks after, and confirms the states that arise from the sources that are fundamental to the experiences of what I go through and absorb independently of others. Where were those people when I needed them. For a long time this feeling of abandonment lay hidden in me, dormant, almost imperceptibly linked to the emptiness. When I was young and encountered it the first times, it was the ultimate hopelessness, a total meaninglessness and an inner source of intense psychological suffering I found relief for in nature, and in a speaking relation to a greater wholeness I related to in it. That meant that I learned early on to listen to those who helped me from there. The inner figures we use as references to thoughts and emotional states that we unconsciously transfer to our outer social and cultural environment. But before we meet them as figures in and of themselves, we see them in girlfriends, boyfriends, husbands and wives, grandmothers and grandfathers, great-grandmother and great-grandfathers. In short, as external representatives of our inner family. Our Sáivu family. But together with others, that space of the mind was not a peaceful fundamental state of meditative psychic reflection, but was instead associated with the feeling of abandonment. Since I was safe in my solitude and in nature, I then came to equate the emptiness that provides consciousness with content, with abandonment when I was with others, and later when I understood better, the freedom it also meant, with betrayal. Of being exploited in my relationship with them and deceived by their pretense towards nature and the unreservedness it means to have it. This is so deep within us that most people don’t even realize where their frustration and resentment comes from. We just are what that is. There is no inner fundamental stillness and peace of mind. Just an uncomfortable sense of abandonment that has to be taken care of all the time since it interfers with our relationship to the world around us. Then we also reluctantly discover that the rejection we perceive is not only in ourselves, as we have previously seen it through others, but our own rejection of our experience of the peaceful emptiness, but also the transformation of its content that occurs outside the ego in our consciousness, and in the same way also in others, independent of their egos. But it is our ego that conveys its content to us. For it is not the ego that is the original source of the preconscious content beyond it and which, when it encounters events in our life, transforms it into experiential insights to our consciousness. There is an active space with its own characteristics beyond the ego that does that for us.

When I was 27, I had an overwhelming vision that stayed with me for three days. It was so intense that I could not bring myself to do anything other than be in it and let it fade away by itself. In its wake followed the insight into the perspective that the experience of emptiness implies for the ego and for the content it relates to in consciousness. But before that, I had been forced to face the feeling of emptiness that preceded it on several occasions. Which, until this meeting and the terrifying experience I had with it before, had thrown me out of myself and made me bury myself in studies, sports, and work. All to try to avoid facing it again. The duality our consciousness and the emptiness beyond it form together horrifies the ego as it is confronted by its diminishing significance in relation to the content that independently arises outside of it in our consciousness. Emptiness is the first intense experience of this but it is not emptiness, but that which exists and acts on us from beyond the ego. The ego’s first encounters and identification with it is a feeling of total obliteration, an intense feeling of meaninglessness. Of darkness and the absolute unknown. For the ego an experience that it must be like death itself. Even though we afterwards understand that what we experience and work with through our psychic reflection is the ego’s relativization, and a renewed perspective that once emerged from our primordial relationship to the original whole. But the first encounters with the emptiness that the ego have and identifies you with are extremely destructive and intense. So if we encounter them without knowing what it is or if we are not yet ready to face it, there is an obvious risk that we will perish. We will drown in the power of the experience of it because the ego sees it as something that belongs to it. As if it is something that arises through the ego in and of itself. Not as something that relativizes its importance. With time and with the experiences we gain from this encounter repeated, we will endure it better and better. As with other intense psychological experiences we have had and do, both pleasant and repulsive. But the relativization of the ego in ourselves stands out as the most central and the one that also causes us our deepest suffering. Before we come to a reconciliation with the relative importance of the ego in relation to our consciousness. I have also come to realize that it was this experience and its meaning for the ego that led to the death of a person close to me. But also for others who, out of a feeling of hopeless resignation and the sense of meaninglessness that follows from it, are led to expose themselves to circumstances that can ultimately destroy their lives. Without the relativization of the ego, and this experience of the emptiness, in and of itself, we cannot find the privacy and stillness we need for our relationships with the true bottom of ourselves, and the preconscious space whose independence from us we share with everyone else. Even though most people shy away from it and stage their suffering outside of themselves, to make what goes on between them and themselves something they can control as if it belonged to someone else there. As every child within us would do when it does’nt know what is going on within them, or what they are exposed to, when the ego is not developed enough to initially stand its ground when this profound experience hits it. In order for us to be able to do this, we must learn to suffer and endure the intense process of this experience as it is. Something we do through meditative mental reflection. Unfortunately for many, so few actively acknowledge these experiences, and choose to go through them in a way that allows them to confirm that it is something that has great significance for everyone who ends up in them. This means that many will feel betrayed by their surroundings and realize early on that it only refers to words without any underlying experiential content, and to the conditioning this constitutes for them, without the experiences that influence and shape us in relation to them, and that people we feel dependent on or drawn to are letting us down. They are still dependent on it in a politically and religiously declamatory, authoritarian, aggressive and violent way which defends one’s own personal control over this conditioned content because of the fear it entails of being overpowered by the emptiness and contents of the preconscious mind that we find behind it.

There is something within us that in a meditative sense is called the experience of the inherent impermanence of existence. Observable in the smallest parts of matter and life, organized and interconnected by the information that coordinates and creates increasingly complex living environments from it and that functions reciprocally at all levels. But here are also certain parts of our consciousness that we repeat, their origin, that which constitutes our conditioning. Like when we don’t accept that everything is temporary and in constant change. Which, when we get stuck in them, create the conceptual boundaries and thinking that cause suffering. Boundaries that we can only cross when consciousness has released enough of the inherent psychic energy that causes it to expand through the information conveyed in its energy. We then discover that it is not only us who are referencing thoughts. It is also done for us, as part of the expansion of consciousness. This then involves a rather frightening experience of the diminishing importance of the ego, because we begin to see consciousness from a new underlying perspective. And this is the loss of its identification with the conditioned way of relating to the content of consciousness because there arises a space that develops between them that creates a sense of loss, a loss of its content. Initially, it is a completely annihilating experience. We feel empty and disoriented. When this first happens to us, the ego loses its significance which evokes a deep sense of meaninglessness. But the very depth and breadth of that emptiness is the very foundation of our being. The real discovery of the relationship to what exists and emerges within it and which creates the content we relate to from it as consciousness. When we have endured the turbulence and confusion this initially creates, after a while it establishes itself as a perspective, a meditative peace of mind at the absolute inviolable foundation that the emptiness first was within us. The emptiness is then not some kind of hopeless experience that only generates mental illness, it is a perspective and a renewed attention to the true reality as it is. Without the conflict and suffering that our conditioning in its limiting scope of human depth creates in our relationship to what consciousness really is. In other terms, as I have recently learned, this also corresponds to the meditative experience we initially have of the three characteristics of existence: of anicca, anatta and dukkha.

There is always a tension and conflict in having the relationship between the concentrated source of constant renewal and coordinated focus of realization that we communicate with within ourselves also in relation to our surroundings, together with its counterpart which encompasses it in a larger context as a natural psychic whole and in a composite sense of belonging with nature itself in all its parts. Because together they form a union and opposition to how we mentally try to exemplify and limit our person through overly restrictive and loosely composed contexts of knowledge, which form standards that are held too general to also be able to function and apply to our entire personality, and those aspects of it that act on us regardless of the conscious control we try to have over it. Such a perspective cannot support an objective standpoint which relativizes our experiences and brings us closer to the meditative correspondence we have to the independent impressions, the flow of thought and impulses which independently arise between us and ourselves when our senses interact with the world around us. Even more so when we do not include our sixth sense. The sense organ that we, in addition to sight, smell, hearing, taste and touch, associate with the body, which constitutes the flow of thoughts that act independently on us in the sense that we are not their true origin. We are not the origin of a sound in itself, or a taste. We experience them. As we do with all of them. What I call myself, or refer to as my personality, is then the sum of the experiences I have had of how my objective psychic actors have been able to interact with, and how these characteristics have been received, while adapting to the environment they find themselves in. All forms of visualization of this greatly facilitate our personal relationships to the raw, unprocessed experience we have of them. But to make it subject to an exclusion of how we individually shape our relationships to their origins within ourselves, without our own personal experiences of their original sources, is simply psychologically destructive. So it takes immense courage to face our own unprocessed experiences without transforming ourselves into those who do not allow others to have theirs in relation to themselves. Which is the conflict we all carry within us and often stage so that others can deal with it for us, and which we then can blame them for that we have not yet resolved within ourselves.

I find it extremely important to be able to internalize our social structures in relation to our inner parents so that they in turn can mediate our communication with the psychic whole and its embodiment of the underlying preconscious forms in whose flow our inner person and his counterpart find meaning, belonging and context. Without our inner parents’ mediation of this content, and of the psychic realm of life, our inner person loses contact with the inner order of its cultural context and its central source of constant renewal within us. In addition, our inner sense of meaning, and of belonging to a social and cultural structure whose order has its origin in the communication that arises between us and ourselves in relation to the context in which we find ourselves, and we can express it, gets lost. Many of the defenses that builds up early in life as an aggregate of frustration which often also turn into pure aggression, arise in that conflict within us as the lack of being able to have this relationship to ourselves unconditionally, and also acknowledge it in others around us, in its cultural and individual sense. At its root, we have lost the stillness and the peace that is required to have an unconditional acceptance of our very being. Its a kind of self violation that obstructs and defiles our capacity for self observation and ease of mind. The old Sami experience of this clearly illustrates it on several levels. Which is also evident from the sectioning on many drums, or just as the original whole without any sectioning at all. In the center is always the sun, and also the central source of psychic energy and constant renewal that Rádienáhttje radiates. There is also Rádienáhkká, she who surrounds it and embodies it in the sense of belonging and the context they constitute in the whole that they together create through our meditative experience of them. But the drum always reflects the individual drum bearer’s relationship to it, and he or she as the one who use it as a guide, an oracle, and image of our psychic roots, by being an example of how we may use it to bring our psychic content into our life.

A child does not formulate mental processes, it resonates with them. They are identified with them. It is what they are. Similarily, when our inner person is undeveloped in relation to our underlying sources in the sense of the psychic whole, it is expressed unfiltered, through resonance. During our psychic maturation we learn to identify their various mental states and their underlying sources within ourselves and to formulate them in a cultural sense. Each of us will personally and individually interact with a certain collection of changing mindsets, their condition as determined by their objective psychic sources, and some of them will also become regularly repeated. How this preconscious psychic regularity transform into different mindsets determines the personality. Regardless of whether they are given by conditioning or are something that spontaneously emerges from our preconscious sources. But mindsets are not acting on their own, by themselves, they are states that change in intensity and alternate. Therefore, there is a need for self observational integration of both a formulation of the attractors behind them, and the states of information that they contain to provide our personality with a greater context, and a more wholesome consistency. At a level above the personal and preconscious relationships of which it consists, we find the psychic energy in its raw, unprocessed form. A level where our impulses and impressions are ever present but dormant in it. Until it is stimulated by events in our lives and observed by us in our meditative self-reflection. It is then that we discover the attractors in it that, independently of us, formulate the states that we then try to absorb in order to release the information they convey that is in their preconscious sources. It is when we work to release the information that is bound in the psychic energy and materialize it by giving it form and a language, that we, in a meditative sense, support the maturation of our relationship with our inner person and its relationship with the underlying preconscious psychic flow. It’s like a kind of natural concentration of the mind, all the time.

We can be part of any social order. Go to a job, any job, and there is always someone else who will also be able to do it after us. But regardless of that, we also have a relationship between us and ourselves there, between the human being within us, and the parts within us that operate in that relationship as a composite experience of a psychic whole. It is with us all the time together with the human being within us, and only we can have it and no one else. It is our own, and it is our task to take care of it. When we do not do it, we make it seem like someone else has to do it for us, and fullfill that task. Most often we do this by creating a suffocating atmosphere, a sense of emotional distance and poorly concealed intentional hostility, because we are not yet capable of the self-observation that allows us to carry that relationship ourselves. So just like a child, the undeveloped relationship we have with the person within us is projected onto our surroundings, and there we then expect it to satisfy the limitless expectations and needs it has, expectations that exceed our individuality’s unique part of the scope of the inner whole and the limit of our own personality. This becomes even clearer when we are completely oblivious of that relationship to ourselves as an adult person. We then replace it with conditioned frames of reference without regard to individual circumstances or individual needs. Everything that is of a different meaning is then met with hostility because it throws us into the unknown, fills us with anxiety, uncertainty and fear. Into the relationship to the whole we are a part of between us and ourselves, and the psychic forces that act on us in parts of that context. This is why we also experience social, political, and cultural aggregates as a kind of common collective composite form of psychic content of several individuals, and as an overall personality or group mind. The communication between us and our inner person is seen through others in the plural. Not as our own personal interaction with objective psychic properties in our experience of the inner whole in its original, undistorted condition. Something we should not confuse with insensitivity, or with the natural aggressiveness we need to maturely defend ourselves against its influence when it threatens the psychic integrity of the relationship we have with our inner whole. There is a reason why the rebel within us resists being flooded with ”bad karma”, of us becoming mentally contaminated by defilements before we are ready to face the psychic scope within which we discover our own inner person, and also the other parts of our composite structural whole with which it interacts, and which constitute our natural boundary to the outside world. The strength and intensity of the rebellion also seems to be directly proportional to the inhibiting effect of the condition of the ”karmic” influence. Whether we live it out, or it exerts its influence on the relationship between us and the parts of the personally perceived whole.

When we have access to the experience of the original whole, and the parts that act on us from it, we gain direct access to the inner coordinating principle of structural interaction it has with our inner person based on the parts in the preconscious origins of our personality. It is to have access to the absolute basis of the experience of being in itself. To simultaneously also be a part of it and its larger coherent whole. When we experience this, we also see our inner person as something in itself that has existed in man throughout all times in an original undistorted way. We then also begin to see other people as relationships between them and this primordial psychic experience our inner person relates us to. But also how others actions and conditioned ways of being relate to it independently of us, and in themselves, in that relationship. Since the further away from it we are, the more we need others to maintain the parts in it that we have once been conditioned to accept in ourselves, but it is also all that which was there before the beginning of consciousness, which has not yet been given its natural outlet. Or it has been separated, and is no longer allowed to occur as psychic elements in the relationships to ourselves that give rise to them in our consciousness. The defenses that arise against them are usually authoritarian and judgmental with a moral condescending overtone, but not only in an individual sense but also in the aggregation of personality as a group, as the personality of a collective, or an entire society. Mental stress, high tension, and aggressiveness are other symptoms of our being outside the reality of this belonging that is the foundation of our person. The need for firm beliefs and definite uncompromising frameworks characterizes it, because we cannot allow ourselves to recognize genuine human relationships as they are without imposing some frame of reference because it otherwise forces us to face what scares us in the encounter with the authenticity of our psychic life, and causes us to fall into the hands of that within us that we are not yet ready for. The experiences we have of our being between us and ourselves which we constantly and compulsively force others to reflect in parts of our own psychic properties, together with that which constitutes our own conditioning and the limited conditions that our loosely composed personality confine us to function in. We do not have access to the fundamental psychic existence that our inner person conveys of context in relation to ourselves and what his counterpart relates to as its scope. That’s why I think we prefer to see the evil that befalls us as coming from others, or as fate itself intervening in an invisible way in our lives and directing our actions. When it’s actually closer to home to see it in terms of karma and as a result of our mental actions, and our lack of us observing them.

Meditation or reflection engages us in the active psychic processes that are prompted by their preconscious origins and the direct impact they have on us when we notice them through self-observation. How we choose to illustrate them and interact with the content generated in our encounter with them is first conditioned by cultural beliefs and attitudes that our family constellations convey to us early on. Later, when our eidetic preconscious parental figures emerge so clearly that we distinguish them from our biological parents, the conditioned relationships to the preconscious contents begin to change through our self-observation and meditative reflection. As our separation makes our inner person emerge clearly in relation to our psychic processes and their origins, the outer collective cultural identity also changes, and our relationships to our inner life are reshaped and begin to take on older emergent forms of original and fundamental psychic sources. We then begin to relate to them in a way that corresponds more closely to their original, primordial functions, as we struggle to describe them in the way that they themselves, regardless of our collective identity, of the opinions of others, their conditioning, and their relationship to their psychic processes, choose to be seen and treated when we interact with them in our meditative processes, and in the direct raw experience that this content is for us. When we find our inner person and the authenticity and truth it provides us with, we also see humanity from this perspective throughout time. How we have endowed it with cultural and collective characteristics it does not possess in and of itself but with which we have distorted it. We begin to see with a different perspective the ways of all the generations that have preceded us. But with the same basic experience and feeling as if they were all here and now, in front of us. What the loss of this perspective does to them. Without us being able to do anything about it. We can only hope that they attend to it when they find it.

We are all entangled in a constellation of states whose psychic structure figuratively personifies the patterns our lives follow as they exert their influence over us, and we mistake them for mental properties beyond the boundaries of our own bodies. We then see them in others as belongings to parts of our own sense of a greater whole. Especially when we have not yet achieved any self-observation at all and our impulses and impressions are not perceived to originate in relation to our own psychic constellation. Where our impulses and psychic impressions becomes spontaneous movements disconnected from our conscious mind as something we must suppress in ourselves through others. Which we then ”boot out” and disposses as the unpleasant and evil we defend ourselves against in ourselves by way of our conditioning as we have transformed it into self-criticism. Historically, this constellation has also been transferred to the night sky and in our time to its inherent background energy, as we have attributed these psychic properties and the indirect influence the conceptualisation of them have on us, to fixed and temporary objects such as planets and comets in our solar system. But the vilifying part in today’s social life as a way of describing this psychic condition in traditional sami was that we have ended up in jabme aimo, a place of in between. A state and an intensely painful psychic place of becoming under the influence of Máttaráhkká in her dark capacity as Jahbmeáhkká. A psychic condition which is in sharp contrast to Máttaráhkká’s culturally mediating relationship of belonging and inhesion with Rádienáhkká in her embodiment of the preconscious eidetic forms and processes that emerge from behind nature itself when it unfolds its knowledge and information as we work to absorb and release it from its inherent energy. We begin to sense and apprehend the communication our inner person have with the underlying psychic guidance and inner order that unites all opposites in the all-encompassing center that is perceived in sami as Rádienáhttje. We otherwise limit ourselves too much, and risk our psychic balance and health when we restrict the original functioning and movement of our inner person, Rádien Giedde, in his relationship to them and to his psychological gender counterpart Radien niejta/Sáivu niejta with perfectionistic ideals that we with moral overtones try to personify through our conditioning to what is generally appropriate and accepted. Our conditioning, in contrast to our inner person, creates a kind of false and ever-changing personality with its own relationship to the content of our social or cultural context, independent of the psychic structure whose parts create the context that organizes the experience of a larger overall and original unity in the relationship to our inner sense of wholeness and to what happens within us in relation to it. If our narcissism or egocentricity pushing them too far apart and we, due to lack of self-observation, ignore their impact on us, we will eventually tear ourselves apart and our psychic health loses its natural balance between them. The importance at this point, of our inner parental pair for the experience of a combined psychic and cultural community where they together may function within the dualism we are confronted with, is crucial for us in our relationship to the underlying processes that affect us and involve us in our lives and cannot be appreciated enough. When they are expelled from their significance in the process of our psychic maturation, they transform into what is often called “the monkey brain.” They do not mediate the link between them and our inner person and his counterpart in their significance of being, in a cultural context, a direct communication to the source of meditative insight with which the original whole encompasses it. Instead, they transform beingness into an eternal compensatory chatter and a defense of the conditioning that their psychic reality questions.

One aspect of meditation and psychic reflection is that it is not often noticed how it illuminates our altered or distorted perception. Through self-observation we discover how our impulses and impressions within the body, our emotions, the mind and its inherent psychic properties affect and change consciousness at the very foundation of our perception. Especially when we see our preconscious properties through others outside our own frames of reference, and in an undeveloped state in relation to the original whole and its inherent parts when they interact with us without any real participation on our part. It becomes obvious to an outside observer how each of us acts within it in an incoherent and disordered manner without any communication with the structural properties of the psyche as impulses and impressions emerge with their own inner intensity in a disjointed manner, and without any coherent psychological context whatsoever. We may come to recognize it when people force other people in our immediate environment to correspond to a counterpart in this inner context and to act accordingly, outside of a certain persons own psychological frames of reference and in relation to the whole that we, within each of us, are guided by, and encompassed by in a fundamental sense. When we make this a normality, we idolize or devalue the qualities we do not yet see within ourselves but only see in others without any moral consideration of what the outcome will be for both ourselves and others around us when we transfer them. The result is how our personal world is shaped by our relationships to the qualities in this original whole, and how it has also shaped how the world around us looks in relation to it. We meditate and reflect on the raw experience of the psyche as we try to make it comprehensible beyond our conditioned way of habitually formulating the impressions we receive into conscious forms and words to please our surroundings. It is one of many ways we use to approach the preconscious psychic scope whose information, when it has found its original meaning, transcends the content of the stereotypical approach of consciousness and guides us to our unadulterated embodiment of it. It is not how we formulate it that is important, but the experience itself which in various attractive states, in information subsets of the original whole, acts on us. There all formulations of them become equally true and unadulterated in our attempts to find the preconscious order, the coherent psychic structure, and the context that it communicates to us regardless of the cultural descriptions we have learned to use to approach them.

As we move beyond the experience of an equilibrium between the earth and its embodiment of the underlying flow of preconscious forms of energy and its instructions as a sense of a primordial whole, which together create a presence in consciousness, we realize that by reacting to someone else’s defenses and their compensatory relationship to their inner person and by taking them on as if they were our own, we transform the psychic obstacles of others into our own self-criticism. Here is where we also move into the experience of nothingness. As in a state of emotional expulsion or exorcism in the mind and in the consciousness of the origin of the self-criticism. Self-criticism then becomes an identification of the conditioned defenses that others in our environment expose us to and have towards the relationship that exists within us all, between us and ourselves.

When we are able to focus on the activity that involves us in developing our psychic equilibrium, we realize that it, along with other things, is also a process of input into the present, fabricated by conditioning of the non-beingness and the raw experiences of psychic reality. Which, when the feeling of separation it creates passes into equanimity, one goes beyond it into a state of non-forming frame of reference and meditative practice. When we experience this, it is experienced as an ”entry into emptiness,” as empty of all that is not. Of what it is of what remains. We discern this as the present, and as a direct relation to ”that reality that is as it is.” No matter how unbearable it may have appeared to us before. It is now the absolute foundation of our being. The original whole and the states that it creates in all its parts are no longer dependent on what others can allow themselves of it, through the limitations we perceive of it in our surroundings, but qualities of ourselves in our own relationship to it in our meditative self-observation. Hence we also find this intermediate state of this vast and desolate feeling of emptiness that we experience beyond that in the transition from others and to our own entry into the independent wholeness we once experienced as our psychic origins when we were young.

Whether we are actively meditating or casually just happen to become subjected to it, we will have to deal with four frames of reference; the body in and of itself, feelings in and of themselves, the mind in and of itself, and mental properties in and of themselves. Which is another way to say that we in a meditative way have to come to terms with our use of them as a reference outside our own boundaries, or trying to confine other people to our own relation to them. Not as parts of a psychic content and a sense of a whole in its relation to our own being, to which it also formulates an individual relationship over time.
This in turn creates the condition of a specific state of psychic developement, and of the identity of mental objects, an experience conceptualized in india as nibbida. Very close to the sami Rota aimo, and to the concept of hell in christianity. An in-between state of an endless emptiness almost all of us experience in the transition from our childhood to adolescence and from adolescence to adulthood. But most importantly, the special insight it cultivates in our old age. In this sense, that is what old age means, it has a meditative purpose in relation to the previous scope of the body and consciousness’ frames of reference. Something that seems to become an almost impossible task, if life forces us to do everything at once when we reach our old age. It brings us into our need of seclusion, into meditation and psychological reflection. To come into contact with our being and to our sense of authenticity and wholeness. We just have to change, and begin to identify and face the parts of the fragmentation that emerges within us, and begin to communicate with the psychic content and duality that this second personality communicate within us. This urge is so powerful, that if it is not attended to, we become restless, incessantly acquisitive, violent and destructive. Committing reprehensible acts and atrocities against others without any genuine personal and moral considerations of our actions in a psychic sense, and we will even become a danger not only to our own life but to others too. We will just disappear into our preconscious life, overwhelmed by the challenge.

When we enter into it, it is experienced as a sinking into the absolute ground of being within ourselves, and in the confines of our body. Of what we are within the boundary that the original whole of its parts constitutes for us. Parts whose state and energy when they are met and understood actively share the insight they convey to us from the underlying stream of preconscious mental forms and processes that are the cause and reason for our existence. This is where I find similarities with the meditative concept of jhanas. Where we experience an absorbing, awareness and accepting of applied and sustained thought processes. A rapt concentrated state of well-being in the states that then gradually subside and pass into a pure experience of physical and mental equilibrium. An active state of equanimity. Almost like a step-by-step process, but in motion with its own internal order. A sinking into the body’s mental state of absolute attentive calm. Where each step is experienced alternately with each other, in intensity and presence as if to gradually relate to our ability to absorb them. Here is the fundamental communication our inner person has with the underlying preconscious stream that unites all opposites in the sense of wholeness created by embodiment, of belonging and connection which together constitute the cause and reasons for our existence. Without a conscious relationship to the intermediate eidetic forms we obtain in relation to the original wholeness we experienced as children, we will have great difficulties or not be able to return to it as adults, neither for the sake of our inner mental health, nor for that of future generations. Our psychic life will be experienced as uncoordinated and messy and without any inner order. There is no inner focus, and we do not have any conscious psychic self-observing relationship with each other. The most challenging thing is to accept reality as it is without falling into a state of aversion, disappointment, or disgust for worldly life by imagining the eidetic representations we have of our preconscious as something that determines how it should be perceived by others as well.

I have long had the ability to switch off the ”mind-door”. A kind of emotional disconnection of psychic energy and to stay within my own boundaries. I mean that in the sense of the content or form of the energy that people in my environment transfer to me, and I to them. This does not mean that I distance myself from basic human functions and considerations, but quite the opposite. I do it out of self-preservation. In order not to confuse the impulses and impressions that come from others with what arises in me. It not only makes me more present to myself, but others also become clearer in the relationships that this creates within them to me. In a way, it frees me from others in a way that gives them greater freedom to be what they are there, in themselves, for their own impressions and impulses, and in the self-observation that it can bring about. If such is produced in them, then just as in me, it creates spontaneous eidetic images and sensations with pre-psychic origins that our inner person does not produce by itself since it originates from a source beyond it. We can then share the states and experiences we have of the eidetic forms that emerges by dressing their forms in words, instead of trying to provide others with them through the psychic opposite states they create for us when we do so. Or imagine that the experience we have of our preconscious impressions is through their eidetic forms identical to everyone else’s. Which in its undeveloped naivety makes no distinction between us and others. When I was young, all these actors, states, and preconscious processes were in an inseparable whole where the psyche, nature, and the culture that surrounded me were a single coherent objective and psychic reality. Which unless we develop a conscious relationship to their intermediate eidetic forms remain in a dormant state where their sudden impact on consciousness is experienced as if they hijack its normal state with their inherent energy. Such a type of lack of self-distance and psychic self-observation is unfortunately the generally accepted and collective condition of it, since it is much more common to satisfy ourselves with our experiences of our psychic content by allowing others to function in the disguise and substitute of our personal relation to these preconscious and intermediate eidetic forms. Traditionally the sami related to this extended interactive psychic reality as Sáivu. That’s why I emphasize that it can be a sign of health not to constantly interrupt others and involve ourselves in their psychologically hijacked state of mind with our own, and instead give them room to come to the reslization of them by developing the function of active self-observation. Where we then pass from a state with rapture to a sense of psychic calm and presence with equanimity. A psychic space where we can turn to each other with kindness and consideration instead of with an impulsive, overwhelmed ego in rapture.