Stefan Stjernberg.com

Today spring arrived with our wagtail couple.

People have an annoying tendency to confuse illness with suffering, where suffering is lifes opposite of delight, or happiness.
The opposite of happiness is not illness.
It is where our being interfere with how we relate to the content of what we think we are, and something about our being is not compatible with that content.
This is what i see when I look at the world and how we relate to it.

There are these giants, giants who feel nothing. Their thoughts move slowly, and they are irritable and reactive. We call them stallo. They are hypnotized by themselves. In relationships, our economies, our media, our political systems. They cannot be argued with.
They are uncontrollable, infectious creatures. And anyone who falls into a state of thick-headed affect becomes them automatically.
Our interactions with these giants in the psychical world depicts what happens when we are possessed by their instinct.
They will pick their teeth with our bones.

If i backtrack the associations holding my origins, back to my eternal collection of vibrant intangible ancestors, my being becomes this re-generated essence created by the influences of our relationship.

Its like having a piece of you chipped off. It makes something about you always missing. You are not whole. Not ready. Never. What is left behind in the opening is your impulsive part. That which makes you completely uncivilized and the part of you, you can never control but always looking for. It makes you no different from anyone else. And it makes you ashamed of yourself and it humiliates you. It will really, really question you about your moral standards and your moral conditioning. And at the same time, it is what brings you out of yourself, into exaltation. It will take you out of the ordinary and out of time. You will feel elevated, creative and capable of doing anything you want. And you want to stay in wonderland, in that state of uninterrupted creativeness forever. But it will also make you touchy, defensive and flat out unpleasant.
You will not be you.
And when you come down, you come down hard.
But here on the ground, You will be looking around for that little place called being. Of quietness. Of peace, tranquillity and balance. Of humility.
Only here can we find what is far from it all but always right there.

The creative principle of the spiritbeing, as consciousness, is also our eternal existence derived from the primeval world of the unconscious as a son principle, born of the feminine, and the great grand mother earth.
This is wonderfully depicted in sami by Raedien-attje as the source, and his wife Raedienahkka from which everything gets its shape. With her he has the son Raediengiedte. This son is also an attribute of Raedien-attje himself, in being the generative force who brings all the forms of life to mother earth, Maderakka. Maderakka then causes the form to grow a body of matter around it.
By her, we are then becoming a personification of this reoccuring constellation, like it is our principle of being.

My body is this tree. A spring and a vessel. It is my being when it dwells in the wind as it seeds the earth beneath its sun, bathed in abundance of this endless regenerous body of life.
This tree is the origin tree. Made of maternal matter brought into early morning light.
It is the tree of creative movement, of night and day. Of conception.
It is the tree of trees.

There is this point of entry. It reveals itself in a mountain lake, in a landscape, a sunset. In long stretches of solitary hiking in the woods or in the mountains.
They are used as a vessel by my unconscious processes were I then gain access to the existential otherness of the world. It is were places of exchange between our inner world unknown occur, as it enters into our consciousness outside.
It is here I can preserve its living content and get access to its uninhibited correspondence with nature.

The only experience that can give us an incorruptible value is being in the apparition of an archetypal form. That is, to be in the vast intangible vibrating energy of its numinous experience.
It is how we emerge out of nothingness. How we define ourselves.
It is also how our original ancestors appear to us.

Its a big difference in doing the right thing and acting in its best interest.

It’s like trying to live up to everything thrown at us. All of that which is not something that we can relate to as being true to our own personal characteristics. To be absorbed and replaced by a mindset keeping us constantly occupied with ideals and views disconnecting us from ourselves. A knowledge base not related to, or connected to our own specific version of being. We are trying to become this ideal sub personality. With its unachievable ideals by which we infect ourselves and others. This is why we are always trying to get others to confirm its reality to us as we become collective beings by identifying ourselves with it. We use knowledge as our pretend solution to inner reality and lost tradition. But knowledge cannot hold it for us because we are subordinate to it, and it requires a sacrifice. Which is our bloated hell of ideals and expectations in everything scattered around that we are trying our best to live up to, or force onto others in the hope to control it.
It is also what we have in common with all kinds of radicalism, fundamentalism or extremism. We experience it daily while it is trying to poison us by our media and in the infectious political agenda of ideological opposites. It is always present in the relations of our ordinary everyday life since it begins with our own being. It is what we are outside of our own borders. What we dont pay attention to, and what we are doing to others.
It is about knowing were I ends and others begin, and stop throwing dark curses around us unwittingly.
We really are the only true demons of this world.

If my mind is the relation that I claim to have to the contents of my being, then any relation that I may have to it, must be conditioned on what wells up from this being every day.
It is independent of me, and of any one of us. It is not something that we make up by our selves. We are a small part of this spontaneous content making itself known to us while it is becoming aware of itself.
What we loosly call consciousness, is only what we choose to relate to for some coherency to make us have a sense of individuality. We even tend to personalize the origin of its content, in spite of the fact that it emerges from the outside of our mind. So all of our widely separated personal claims of ideas are just going to make us feel disconnected from our selves because they will no longer have a relation to our being.

The unseen world is obviously populated with all sorts of powers that must be reckoned with, because they really are a phenomena with an inherent energy that goes beyond individual life, and something we utilize as our oracles.
Its about identification. Of what is manifest as actual.
It can be seen as a perspective of reincarnation when we try to maintain a conscious relation to this as we passes back and forth through its reality.
But it is not the distinct individual who is reborn.
It is a sense of being related to what produces our consciousness.
The experience we make of our relation to its content.

We behave as hungry ghosts in Shangra-La looking for some part of ourself in another body.

It is a kind of wisdom, an act of something like a behavioural impulse. Experienced as our guardian ruler by psychological faith. Not by any commandments. It is our embodiment of honorable judgment. The spirit as a descendant tied to a line of forefathers. To the way they are in their voices of moral sensibility present in this life. And by the inner reflexions coming from the spirit of those who have gone before them.
When we sense a confusion coming out of a collectives fatherless life ”out there”, and we wonder why it could be so, the ancestor being has been evoked, because he is our deepest unconscious reflection, our cultural relational creator in its most distinctive internal and external sense. We are truly beings in the context of his space and time.
And we are wearing him as our mystery of cultural creation.

We are the daily expression of ancestral patterns that process the world in a collective ordening of our senses guided by the unfolding emergence of an explanation we will have to answer to from the realms beyond the unborn and the dead.

It is like our past ancestral experiences of inner life have left this original deposits of energy behind in us. And during the encounters we have had with that origin, the energy discharged have left a record inside a chain of reference for us to be used in the encounters followed by this first one, from which all the others also originates.
They re-create themselves in our being, and beyond. As images, energy tones, and in all the actions our own encounters with them will imprint on us.
They are always there.

We can derive who we are from any combination of collective identity: sex, race, social class, vocation, nationality, or religion.
But what we are also derived from, is our ancestral memory. Of that which is encoded in the dna as the part of us just being humans.
We are also descendants to the reality behind the imaginations we have. Its not a physical thing. Its the memory we have of encoded identity.
And we are part of that mind too.

There is no doubt i am of an androgynous entity. This is regardless of any view i might have on actual gender, or on any conviction anyone may come up with to defend gender stereotypes. Physical appearance do not apply here. Speaking of myself, i took on the gender of my default orientation. And the influence coming from this choosing, was that my inner life was birthing a feminine, or opposite identity as compensation for doing this. My mother naturally became her first carrier. And her affection is what later gave me what i needed in life to be able to be open to my experiences on the nature of my being.
If we experience a conflict in here, it is inside of us. We are that conflict. And we are always running a risk to others to make the world our theatre of war.
It is what happens when we bring it outside.

Behind every conviction we have, there is a tyrannical convict of disrespect for our being.

I can never get into the image of a dad in a cloud. I don´t have that in me. I can understand the need for it. Why some need that kind of authority. An existential dad acted out by someone else, or to clothe a form of abstraction of it with a human form. But for me that it is just a confusion. A displacement of myself. Of my in between non-placed source and me. I cannot agree to this kind of replacement. It would leave me defenceless to a world that has lost it.
I can only watch with horror how dad in the cloud deals with this world.

The world we call reality is what we put into it from the experience of our being. It is the mirror world we walk in. And it is our relation to being that creates its intensity and value. The alternative is to succomb to some people wanting to drive us out of ourselves and replace us with themselves.
We can let others make us be to them, what they want to see about themselves in us, in their need to control others from being separate individuals of this being in themselves.
But it is our very own connection to being which is at stake here. And it is precisely this that makes a difference to the world.
If there is one thing we can change to make any change for the better, it is this. We can become a container for our own being.
But most people seem to have lost this connection, they don´t listen anymore, or they don´t have the courage to learn its language anew.
And this is what makes them all crazy.