You have to have an idea behind everything. Something to put up, kneel in front of and sacrifice yourself to.
No matter what it means to your relations and to everyone around you in the sense of distancing, patronizing, hardship, insensitivity or cruelty that you create. This is what you have to do. What we have to live up to. What we constantly feel guilty about, and what we have to succumb to.
It is never enough. Life cannot be just kindness and dignity. We have to have these made up ideals, and pass them on to others.
But I cannot accept any identification with this perception of a collective psychopathic patriarch. Or become a subject to his patriarchal ideas.
By making this sacrifice, we make everyone suffer, and we punish everyone around us in his place for our indifference to individually. And for us being subordinate with our hostile to life altars and made up views of life.
It is like we must constantly force others into a contradiction of themselves.
And we must all behave as righteous assholes, and we don’t even now it.
I have never felt part of this whole setup. I am just one victim of this collective’s identification and transference.
Their crazy inhuman god really need to get himself a date. And it seems to be up to me to set it up for him.
Even if he is just a substitute for the real thing.