the origin of the path

My stepdaughter’s four-year-old is used by the oldest boys at preschool to express what they have to suppress in the child they now grow up from. This is quite ”normal”. They are playing with what they experience as unacceptable behavior in their family/community through him. Making him act out or say things that they have learned to surpress because it has nowhere else to go, and he is among the youngest and is still credulous. He has not yet developed a mental container for his inner processes. And the older boys are trying to separate out what they can’t retain in themselves. In this way he will learn that the world is at least partially evil and can be deceptive as he grows up. I think this is also how we create our ”blaimers” or scapegoats. Our family conditions will play a decisive role in what path he, and of course, all of us takes from there. If he identifies with the role they give him, he will only see his value in what the family/community finds unacceptable. Or he may choose to use others for what he does not accept in himself as the other boys do and thus completely submit to the moral norm of the family/society to become like them, and then blame others for what he had to surpress in himself for psychic balance. Starting this eternal cycle of abuse all over again where the connection to the continuous developement of interiority gets lost. I consider it especially fortunate if he chooses a third path. That he retains the belief in how he expresses himself, not through someone else, and not to fulfill someone else’s need for him to carry what they regard as unacceptable. But by having a sense of trust in what he is, and really feel secure in how he transform his nature into culture, regardless of the moral norms it adheres to.