the manifest other, or ghost of the double

It is as if I have to purge myself from public opinion. From the great Swede attitude that was put in me to replace my inherited and original psychological architecture. To be colonized and invaded by the emptiness and moral conflicts of a psychic belonging that prior to this did not existed in me. It is like an endless stream of broadcasted knowledge and judgements that constantly overlaps itself without any real connection to me. I usually find my way back to this order of awareness again when I spend time in nature, in the mountains, or just outside the psychological infection of the general noise. My senses become clear again and I can see myself in the psychic totality that we are in, of which I am made. Of that something that I am part of. It is the space that is in everything and that encircles everything. It is from that I originate. I belong there, in that manifest other, where I am together with the timeless presence of my primeval double. All who endure it long enough will discover that the emptiness we first experienced there is not, or has never been empty, and that we were all transformed by the mindset of the collective, and that our original whole almost lost its own reality. Just because the external personality cannot understand the reality this emptiness conveys to our psychic personality. It’s like wrestling with a giant. It is impossible. With its strength, or its instinctive and immediate demands for the satisfaction of desires and needs. It cannot tolerate any deferral of them. But if I pay attention to the other, the source of the whole we share and which is each one’s unique experience, then the giant loses his strength. The reflection of the other in us is what makes it possible for us to hear our own inner voice. The giant becomes benevolent and helpful. Although constantly attentive and irritable to a complacent environment.