I’ve always had a companion who is what makes me se ahead, like in a premonition of people and events. Recently I also learned that it is a norm, something to be expected with my background. In a way one can say it walks ahead of me at the same time as it follow me from behind. Like someone giving me directions and points me to how I react to the experiences I have to dwell in, that occupies me. This activity freaked me out in my youth, and made me prefer to spend much of my time alone with myself trying to figure out what this was, to contain its energy, since no one around me seemed to take notice about such things. In the past, the Finnish language had terms that referred to it, oudastaa, and etiäinen. Which is the double that we are a reflection of, or have a sensed impression of. By using its raised energy, it was used to perform some needed tasks, and get help or guidance. We still sense it in that way. An impulsive force of nature that is inspiring us with its close physical connection to earth. Which make us feel part of it. But its first appearance in my youth really made me question my sanity. Among other things with auditory visions that was threatening my sense of reality. Later it forced me into a complete breakdown of how I previously perceived my world. To shift my stand about it. I am deeply in debt to those that was close to me for taking it for what it was. To let me ride it out. It opened me up to what I had in my bones, deep in my marrow. It was a release of the experience of that other nature I had within me. This in turn also made me realise that people talking of having had previous lives, or identifying with it in our present one, and respect that layer of experience, are worthy of more than scorn from people around them. The undercurrents of our current time do still hold old layers of experiences close to us in the architecture of our mind. When we begin to realise that we have a double within us, a kind of universal human template, we may also be able to experience where its reality was cut off from our life together with others. To connect to it again is to embody it anew, and translate its experiences to our present time. We reconnect our true being with our lives. The content that previously made us see through things now turns into a living reality behind the person we have learned to be. What we have seen between the lines becomes our reality, and the energy level of the double now becomes the center of our world. The person now faced by our doube becomes a ghost of what we once where, of what we had to let go. He was just a make believe, a smokescreen, not what we truly are. We can relate to the psychic layer and its functioning in us that we were born with, which will connect us with our ancestors, and help us to understand how its influence affect us in our lives.
That person we where, the reflection of how our world wanted us to be, not what our double really are, and the name that has been attached to his, or her reflection, is a mere mannequin, a dummy and a compromise. An idealized version of what is considered to be civilized. It becomes a threat to us when we realize that it is not at all civilized. That he cannot make our decisions for us, because he is an empty representative, not of how the content of our psyche, as part of our common human nature is transferred to him by us. Or as our threshold to the world around us. He is not something we should identify with. If We do, we just become empty shells. So when we complain or criticize others, what we feel is psychic starvation through him. I think that’s why many relationships in “civilized” societies are so turbulent, and become violent.
I also believe that it is our own external substitute, that “civilized” perception of a personality, which only resembles and serves an image of the real one, that is what our psychopathic culture forces on our indigenous peoples. Who then just like us when we have lost the relationship to our own psychic architecture, try to relieve the pain in it, with psychotropic drugs, alcohol and other self-medication. We suppress the relation to our own inner origin by oppressing indigenous peoples in the outer. Often, this sickness comes disquised behind words like developement and globalisation. But a clear language is extremely important to people, because in its natural context it refers to our original experiences, which are then through language transmitted to us by our grandparents’ parents’ parents, and then by us to our children and grandchildren. Without it, we will be deprived of the geography of our psychic extistence. Our experiences becomes disconnected from its relationship to our immediate reality.