the feeling of being an outcast in our own senses

It is easy to abandon the relationship we have between us and ourselves for opinions that make us feel that we belong to something. But it is something which without us noticing it will also be what evict us out of our reality and separate us from the connection we have within us to our own psychic reality and the figures we meet there. Which is also the ones that make us feel authentic. By taking side against our own connection between us and ourself we try to become aligned with the generally accepted morality and customs. By choosing side against the discourse within us, with the general alignment of opinion, we may imagine that we do belong to something, even if it is the side that distorts our original impressions, just to reconcile ourselves with the psychic abuse we have been and are subjected to. We even begin to say and do things that we do not agree with. “They put me up to it”, “I did what everyone else did”, I just followed the party line”, “Its the way “it” works”. Parts that stand for the whole becomes our standard. But we go along with it anyway because we no longer have a personal relation to our own voice. We have chosen to join the attitude that once was the one that pushed us out of our own relation to ourselves. An attitude that made us feel ashamed of listening to what the feeling of being authentic was saying to us, of what it’s relation to our life meant. So it is easy to begin to have an attitude towards nature and people that is not personal. It is just an opinion that is part of the belonging we have attached us to, since we have lost our connection to what we are. We may also feel guilty for having abandon it, and we defend this attitude to avoid the shame this has created within us. Many of us dont even know that a personal relation to both people and to people as part of a society is one and the same thing. Instead we treat them like the separation it is to us, as a conviction apart from our connection between us and ourselves, as something that defend us from the shame our guilt of abandoning ourselves have put us in.