about a personal center of life

I can find no center in the world by knowledge and reason alone. In this conventional space i have no immediate contact with the content of energy emanating from within myself. Or its center from which we receive our human orientation. Knowledge and reason can only become a substitute for having a true personal point of reference. Traditional space on the other hand, expands that energy and creates personally experienced values that incorporates conventional space. The problem is, if I experience this in certain places and people, How do I create a perpetual boundary, or a kind of mental enclosure for me to communicate with these kind of experiences in a regular way. Almost all of our relations to this extended space of consciousness are forgotten. It is our “crazy” space, where our ordinary consciousness is challenged, and our current life is felt as quite morbid. Most people doesn’t want to go through the individual ordeals that comes with it. Their views become quite off-putting when they habitually defend their conventional views by reason alone and prefer to stay in this horrible condition of knowledgeable anxiety. Outside of this space of eternal creation and renewal, as they are constantly putting opposites against each other. Tearing themselves and the world apart.
For the majority this intangible or unseen space is not a biochemical defect that we should “correct”. But a necessary part of our personal experience. We have just become too distant and apart from our own experiences to recognise it. It is this experience that the materialistic mind has transformed to what the philosophically oriented might call existentialism. Or whatever. The absurdity of this is to always rationalize experienced existence and turn it into a sterotyped way of thinking.