a part of our psychic nature we cannot control

The feeling of being a victim, which makes us cling to role playing, to act on our gameface, and sacrifice us in the encounter we have with the one within us who is giving us the violent feeling of guilt and anxiety also experienced as blame, when he comes from others’ relationship to him in our psychic reality, has a purpose. That purpose is that he makes us individually reconciling, so that we can enter into a social psychological context with others without losing our integrity or ignoring them. It affects us all as a completely independent psychic phenomenon, and that means that we should not submit to accusations that come from others’ ignorance of him as fools and turn ourselves into innocent lambs. He is a psychic force and affects us in a way that prevents us from going beyond our selves, or stop listening to the raw powers that influence us, which express our natural impulses and “personal” psychic qualities. If we don’t, we will immediately experience his immense influence which, when he becomes present in this way, is sensed as anxiety. As long as we are true to ourselves, he is just close. But if we turn ourselves into lambs or become passively aggressive, that is, not recognizing and making the objective  psyche count, we can trust that he will flood us with the full power of what guilt and anxiety means, as he immediately brings us into his field of influence. The atonement is in acknowledging his existence. Pay attention to, and continue our inner conversation with him. He supports us when we are spontaneous and express ourselves genuinely on our own personal terms. He kind of leads us to those within us who make us express the qualities we have there, and pay attention to what their potency means to us. In Sami his name is Ruotta. His kingdom is Ruotta-aimo. With him, everyone who does not listen ends up in darkness and violent anxiety and pain. Which happens when we ignore our psychic reflection, and does not respect his role and immediate psychic presence. We can choose to characterize it as mere anxiety, but it will tells us nothing about what it is we experience. Or how we can respond to the carrying feeling we have of being a victim of its power, since we are facing something that is far more powerful than the ego. Denying it does not change that relationship. Or any clinical description thereof. Nor to aggressively assert our independence because it is just something that makes us immune to what we really feel and insensitive to more authentic human relationships. Our feeling of being excluded from our mental context only intensifies. As does self-medication with alcohol and drugs, or the use of psychotropic drugs. None of this will make him disappear either. We can only let him be and reconcile ourselves to the idea that there are forces acting on us in this way, and they are much more powerful than we are, and it is not up to us to act in their place. But by acknowledging his influence on us. By having an open mind, and having an inner conversation with him, we are reconciled to its power, and we can allow ourselves to be inspired by him. To unleash our spontaneity on our own terms, and let the raw forces that operate within us lead us. It may sound like an easy thing to say, but to be part of and go through it is something completely different, in reality these are really quite violent and hellish psychic trials.