I have always lived in a kind of constant defense of the relationship I have between me and myself. In an ongoing preparation for how I should be in situations that arise with people around me. To the social and cultural life it creates without this connection. This means that I have repeated these relationships as I have encountered them within me to learn how to interact with them in a way that was desired by others. Not how I myself perceived it in connection to this center of wholeness all the time. When I learned this I was too young to be psychologically prepared for it. My entire relationship to the source we have within us, to that other ordering center within me which is the self-organizing unity of all opposites which was taken up by how I, in relation to the psychic reality that operated within me, could face what affected me in that which was both inside and outside of myself. But I couldn’t merely strive to do so in order to be accommodating to others. Which habitually suppresses all occurrences of its influence on us. I somehow always realised that I needed to defend its integrity, and that others must do their part to change their relationship to what it meant to them, and what its relationship is for them to the world, which in turn changes the image we have that mimics what it has become for us. The relationship between us and ourselves gives us a different idea of what it means than the world we have that arises out of our way of adapting to it without the fundamental relationship we have to our inner self-organizing center of opposites. The connection we have to the independent intellect we experience both within ourselves and as a living balance in nature itself. We change nothing by continuing to subject others to the same assault on the integrity of this center that we ourselves have been and are subjected to.