our societies is not the evolution of a primary wound, they reinforces it

By the embodiment of what people that surrounded me pretended to be, I have come to explore many different parts of my being, and also become that which they wanted me to be in their eyes. Through that becoming I have learned to experience it as social reality. I have done so by leaving the totality of my own imaginal field and its timeframe, and reduced myself to take on this definite form. But I already had a form prior to that, in this totality. What I reduced our totality to was not my actual reality. So I organised myself without being consciously aware of it, to communicate from two different sets of my being. One way was to agree to, and embody the content of what we pretended to be together. The other was to ignore it, and stay put in the realm of the totality, to continue to relate to it as our common ground of being, and continue to be close to my form of presence there. Most people dont like to comunicate from that presence. They prefer to be what they pretend to be. So the embodiment of the content of others was accomplished by paying attention to how people interacted. And to find a way to be part of it, but not by ignoring my presence in the totality. It just became a way of recognising the need of others and an interpretation of how it related to the whole, and how it communicated with my own presence in that realm. When one is young it is easy to attach oneself to the functionality of what we pretend to be, it is even expected, even more so if it is determined by the relation we have had to our parents and, their eventual cultural lack of any personal expression of this sense of having a common presence in a human totality. In this way people and societies turns horribly one-dimensional. It makes adjusting to the mind of city life in adolescence really complicated. Do we just want a functional life, or do we want a life that is also connected to the totality we originally emerged from? Having the psychic predisposition, but lacking an active social life means of expression for it, creates fear of others and a feeling of unreality that excludes genuine human relationships. Being human becomes maddening. We become addicted to a fear that denies that we have an independent personal relationship with an overall psychic whole that we share with everyone else. Even though it is the relationship that we have to it that is important, not how we administer it.