Imagine constantly waiting for a sudden emotional outburst, or to be corrected all the time. And that the only relief you get from that tension is when you tune in to it, or conform to what a person or context of people allow in themselves, to what then makes those who have those outbursts receptive to you. Imagine at the same time that that person is otherwise enclosed in himself, and only notices that in his environment that either causes anxiety, emotional outbursts or, by fixed ideas, create relief from them by being deprecative. Then imagine that they are the one closest to you. To varying extents, this is what our children encounter and the child within us learns from our surroundings and then passes on. Which becomes our entire inner world. But that was not ours from the beginning. It comes from those who were here before us, their lost connection. We are their cleaning service. And withdrawal is not an anesthetized or catatonic state. It is the constipated biographical material of others within us. It is not that spontaneous interaction with our inner person that we share with everyone else. That expresses our individual character. That makes us human IN other humans. Where we share the psychological logic of the interaction we have between us and ourselves with others. We learn to be catatonic, to withdraw through the outbursts and criticisms of others, of our repressed needs to feel that we have access to people in our environment. Which is a treasure! A genuine source of wealth. Whether it appear to us in sudden and terrifying bursts, or in its passive aggressive opposite, in our feeling of rejection. Which is the same thing but in reverse. Either way, it is what denies us access to who we are and where we find our access again. How life interact with us. Which makes us express our relationship to others through the relationship we have between us and ourselves without fear that it will backfire, and humiliate or degrade us. Which is the inner world we live in and then unprocessed pass on to our children. Not because we let their relationship between them and themselves count, but we just have to let our tension have its way with us, and constantly intervene, interfere and correct them in ourselves and in others.