Once again, I notice myself through my grandson, what I have been through and what has, and is happening in my own life. A phase in his life is the transition from the whole he is one with, his mother, his father, the enveloping feeling of nature and the people who surround him, to a more concentrated self image. Focused on the demands and expectations that arise in an external social community and its cultural conditioning. The one we are forced to create for our external needs. The feelings that arise when we step out of our psychic time and limit ourselves to our ego and to what arises when we experience this loss of being in a greater whole. A totality that includes all people, all life. The first times we experience this loss it feels as final as absolute. As if there is no turning back. Most of us are offered no imaginary security to retain a reference to it. We are just cut off from ourselves. In that way, we only learn that every time we need to return to ourselves, to psychic orientation and psychic time, we ignore it as we are taught to trust and refer only to external authorities for our needs. We learn not to listen to the psychic dominants that will guide us through our lives whether we obey them or not. Perhaps they will only remain in us as both personal criticism that comes from our loss, or as a criticism of the constant assault that takes place on our psychic integrity from this. No matter which, it is both the first few times, and then throughout our life extremely important that we do not lose our reference to the whole we are a part of, which we always carry with us, and which is our psychic inner flow we share with everyone and everything else. Without it, we lose the meaning that connects us to life. We don’t experience it because we lack the connection we need to access it from within. We lack access to our psychic consciousness, or in other words, our own reflection. It is the unpleasant experience I share with my grandson, which he experiences when he now suddenly gets to see the psychic whole he carries within him for the first time in his life in relation to his outside world. An experience I have shared with him daily throughout my life from my own first years at school, which no school can never give back to him. Because everything there strives to replace what this is with notions that do not guide him to any references to what his natural psychic influences are and come from. Without it, he is left completely alone to fend for himself, to the overwhelming forces affecting him from the within of the without.