What is the underlying reality that motivates what we try to recreate in our relationships? Because it seems like I turn both others and myself into a dehumanized functional role to either embody my own or others unspoken motives. To what we compensate in our own relationship to ourselves, that which exists between what is said and what is at the same time unspoken, usually our compensation to, or something in contrast to, the motives we transfer or embody as a container for others. What we get back is a mixture of both. Of both what I actually say, and what is in a kind of accompanying undercurrent of the unspoken content. This allow me to be filled with both the objective reality of what is being said and the subjective unspoken reality that arises in the space between us, in the larger common whole as both the one who colonizes and being the one who embodies the other’s underlying motive for colonization. That is what is us, in what makes us all personally responsible for what arises in others. All life is what we relate to inside what it embodies.