Stefan Stjernberg.com

When we perceive the inspiration of our spirit as something personal, we do so through an inner playful child, with all its surprising turns and emotions, or as an adult inner person when we perceive it as something that comes from the outside when we identify with its psychic energy and limits its function, and we see it as something separate from ourselves, we then do it with the parental figure we have within us. Or the older person who relates us to our external community and conditioning. But if we see them both from our inner totality, from the collective experience it constitutes, and the composure it is for us as opposed to becoming possesed by them, with what it means to identify with the psychic content which is the content we encounter in the primordial totality we have within us, then we discover that we oscillate between them which makes us believe that they were the ones who created the content instead of them being the recipient of it and that we are the ones who make the psychic energy their expression of it. The inner whole constitutes the fund that allows us to follow them within us. Therefore, against that background, we can also discern the information that originally comes from the preconscious source beyond them, which our inner mother and her daughter then receive when they become vessels for our sensations both in an inner and outer sense, as the psyche both in a personal and its worldly sense. We discover that the source at the center of the inner wholeness and the underlying psychic energy we perceive both personally and from others, places us in an infinitely greater and timeless context. In this way, inspiration in the sense of spirit or psychic energy becomes much more comprehensible to me. Both the psyche and the spirit become timeless experiences for us and something we relate to here and now, simultaneously in ourselves and in others both forward and backward in time, and it also unites us with our ancestors in genealogical lines far back in time. Along these genealogical lines a layer has also been created that we have to deal with, a psychic perspective that will eventually conceptualize their content spontaneously for us as we seek our inner original wholeness and psychic equanimity.

To, as an adult, truly experience the preconscious psyche of our inner person, where they both exist and participate in the father’s psyche as it participates in the son’s, where every father contains his own son within himself, as every mother her own daughter, and that every adult woman in an extension of herself temporally reversed participates in her mother and in a future as a potential of psychic maturity as her own daughter within herself. In the same way as every son in a reversed time perspective sees himself in his father and forward in a furture as the inner person or son’s psychic potential within us, that is to experience our psyche’s own inner dynamics of time. Where we previously lived in the life of our mothers and in our fathers as in an extension of ourselves, of our inner parents, and later with our inner person as their sons and daughters conditioned by its cultural characteristics. We experience this in a unified whole over several generations outside of time which provides the relationship to our inner person with a sense of timelessness. We turn ourselves into a psychic motive. To participants of a predetermined pattern of behavior. Which, when it is decisive, transfers the way of life of our previous generations into future generations. It gives us an experience of context and belonging in the lives and times of many generations. In this way we simultaneously regain access to the original whole and the preconscious psyche our inner person is a part of, and its relationship to our inner parent couple, with his own conceptualization of its content. Our self-reflective preoccupation thus has its own inner purpose and the discovery of this repetition as its own inner conclusion. We will suddenly find ourselves in an incessant psychic flow we alone participate in between the ego and our inner person and face the terrifying experience of being all alone there. And to rely on no one but ourselves, in our inner dialogue with the greater whole we are a part of, to share it with. A place within us very few can bear to stay in, for any length of time, without resorting back to acting out the old motif we lived by in preconscious time. As we grow up, we must deal with the contents of our preconscious state of wholeness. Unfortunately, we partly also have to do it in relation to others in our environment who have not done it themselves. It is then up to us to decide at what price we are prepared to do it. For we must do so if we wish to find some kind of agreement with ourselves, without abandoning our inner sense of wholeness and completely subsuming the conditioning which the tension between it and our preconscious wholeness creates within us.

In the stillness and peace of mind we experience in the greater whole that in the old Sami conceptual world is encompassed by Rádienáhkká, with Radienahttje as the omnipresent entity at its center, all whims, all impressions, and all sudden sensations become the living psychic content that in itself themselves and for their own intrinsic reasons exert their influence on us. We experience them as the personality traits we attribute to ourselves. Despite the fact that they do not belong to anyone, but are sources and conditions with their own inherent character traits. Which were once seen in nature as the background qualities we related to that governed it from within, just as they were also seen as the forces behind and controlling our sky and the cosmos beyond, while also forming part of the qualities we now personify of them and see in ourselves as we unite their original psychic context with our own experiences of them as properies that belong not only to ourselves but also to all beings. Because living close to nature is always a personal psychic experience. And by close to nature I mean the union we experience in that something within us that is also at the same time something outside of us, and vice versa. Something to pay attention to that affects us both from within and from the without, and be open to the way our inner whole chooses to reveal itself to us in its parts. However, it is only in seclusion and in the calm meditative self-observation we experience in Rádienáhttje’s immediate proximity that we are first able to discover the inspiring quality he constitutes behind everything and experience the whole which they form together.

My father did not know about it because he dismissed it as impractical for him in his rational conditioning to his environment and in his line of work from early adulthood. It goes way back in the northern parts of Sweden. But it hasn’t always been that way. I understood intuitively that the way he shared the relationship to his world with others and with me, constantly related to parts of our collective consciousness as if they were that content, but in fact it was constantly his and their way of trying to capture and incorporate his inspiration, an older conceptualization of it, into their psychic environment, as the content of the psychic energy inherent in it when it formulated his contact with the underlying whole and its content which he mistook for his ego. As a bystander to, or substitute for those he encountered within himself, neither I nor anyone else could replace them or provide him with what he unconsciously sought in these encounters, least of all when I was a child or if it was anyone else who had not yet undergone these experiences themselves and understood their meaning, what they mean to us. No one could. In this way, Máderáhttje, our inner father figure and mediator of the cultural part our relation to the ’spirit’ and living principle of the collective consciousness became lost for him and distorted into something else. Obviously we do not learn from them how we ourselves should relate to our psychic energy, to our inner person and the content he conveys independently of others. How we could be a vessel for it and to allow the compassion of Máttaráhkká embrace it and become a container for our inner person and the fragmentation this entails. To interact with it without confusing ourselves with its energy and transferring it onto others. Which makes it a psychic theme we live in and compel people around us to participate in. When that is the case, it becomes difficult to simultaneously also participate in the practical reality that surrounds us independently of this psychic content. Its reality with manifest responsibilities, its tasks and expectations in themselves outside of the psychic theme that provides us with its own inner reality. Fortunately for some, they have had grandparents and great grandparents who were mysteriously connected and respected for embodying this invisible content, who, by example, created the reassurance needed for others to face it in themselves. But what is evident to me these days is that I see this theme, what there is of this in myself, and then I read it into others as if it were something in them. Which it may or may not be but something I cannot experience for anyone else. Nor can I create the experience I have of it for them. It doesn’t matter how much I try to prove it to someone else if they haven’t experienced it themselves. It accomplishes nothing. We cannot get to it in that way. We always have to find it out for ourselves. Alone. In nature or in places that promote the participation from the psychic realm in our meditative self-inspection.

My experiences tells me that most of the attitude we create out of our collective consciousness is not individuality because it is mostly disconnected from the underlying wholeness that our person within us continually inspires us with. A whole in which several characteristics have a part, and through which all individual forms of life are separated from when they adapt by conditioning to their surroundings. Within the individual life experience an understanding is born of what is called reincarnation, or re-entry, where several individual aspects of the psyche act on us apart from the relation to the qualities that our inner person possesses, and he negotiates with, using our mind as a container, and this content as our personal means of self-inspection which then connects us to our psychic reality. A reality that consists of several objective properties that act on us on seemingly out of nowhere with reasons that emerge from their own origins. How they together formulate my experiences in a coherent order have not been transferred to me as from one person to another. The psychic content that underlies and generates content to our experiences has always existed within us as an original source in itself. Growing up and maturing means enduring and process this making of them in the relationships we develop to them, and integrate the sensations we encounter there together with our inner person, and the properties they possess independently of us and in themselves. So what we refer to as personality is usually not the objective content we experience, but how we express its influence on us in a given environment, its effect and not its function. This experience is dualistic. On the one hand, this energy and its patterns generates an action that makes them manifest consciously for us in our lives. On the other hand, they create experiences that consist of both our personal and our inherited way of conceptualizing them. During self-inspection, this becomes particularly clear. Especially if it is done away from unnecessary distraction. In nature or in special places intended to do so. In old Sami tradition Uksakka was the one that made us emotionally pervious to the psychic atmosphere and aware of our part of it. When we are young, we learn about her through our moods. As she make us pay attention to our inner person, she also really makes it possible to embody it. Sarakka embrace the duality coming out of it as the caring mindset through which compassion can lead us to affirm that we perceive this inner person within others too as well. Without her, we become impregnable and lack an observational understanding of the meaning of looking at the world from within, and susceptible to human emotions and conditions. If her influence on us is turned down, the challenges that Juksakka puts us through will become a torment, because she is the one who challenges us to separate, to become independent self-inspecting beings, not to identify with any of the sensations and patterns we ourselves are not the origin of. Because mistaking them for real people has dire consequences. Something we do when we confuse our sensations with others, and instead stage our challenges for others to deal with in our place. Juksakka requires our psychic presence in a moral sense or she will overwhelm us. That is why she so fiercely protects everything that is genuine and inviolable within us. Which she also constantly sets us up against in our conditioned relationships and in their numbing conformity. Without them, we will never experience Máttaráhkká as the vessel she is in her relationship with the inspirational qualities of our inner being. She constantly creates them everywhere. For us to rebirth or enter again means that we return to the person we once were in our childhood, to where that person within us are, and once entered from into this world, but as adults so that we can continue to approach that person within us and take part in his challenges without allowing ourselves to be confused by our sensations which otherwise arise in a tumultuous and disorderly stream in our encounter with ourselves there, and not being able to have any vessel for it. We will never experience us as being part of a psychic container, or of an equanimous mind. This is the same constitutive psychic experiences that has troubled people throughout all ages. I like to view it as a re-enactment, and being part of a cyclical existence we can experience and participate in on a daily basis. We constantly move back and forth between the counterparts we find within us which relate us to our inner person for whom the content they assist us with is manifested. If that relationship is ignored or distorted, then that is how we as descendants will perceive ourselves and treat others repeatedly according to our cyclical existence. We migrate that conditioning and the attitude we have adopted to the content behind it. It is like a law of nature and of our mind as an individual part of it. It determines that everything is dependent of the cycles of life, and that everything is also associated with it in a psychological sense of life too. Without it, we instinctively react to every sensation as we drift aimlessly within ourselves without the meditative calling that makes us truly participate in what it is that makes us who we are, and we will then transmit that, which will formulate the conditions of how others will see it in themselves. Over and over again. Psychic life after psychic life without an end. We may have many many different terms and perceptions about what its implication are for us, but only one that stands out for us about what it is. It’s the one we do find on our own. If I narrow it down a bit, to re-enter, or to rebirth in this sense means to re-introduce this person we have within us. By doing it we introduce him as a reality we relate to in others too. We experience this person ourselves, in person, on our own, but the experience of this psychic perspective is universal in itself. It is a call to that within us which, through our ignorance, creates our confusion which in turn connects us to the constant repetition of our collective catatonic personality, and the constant re-creations of its psychic patterns, as if their sources are misunderstood or mixed up with those of others are difficulties for the individual in whatever period of history or future. In any case, if there is an apparent discrepancy between the inner person and our objective personality that shows the existence of a context of knowledge that cannot have been acquired under present circumstances by the conscious personality, then it is behind the concepts of transmigration that this assumption of rebirth is made, that it is a psychic experience with the same characteristics and functions that has re-emerged in a person because the inner person can be experienced as having the same psychic structure and recognizable characteristics previously experienced in some descendant of the present person. It shows to me that we have shared this primordial whole with all life before we become conditioned and conformed to a certain psychic environment in our present time and cross section of our collective consciousness. What really gets us lost is that we describe the same psychic experiences in different ways without taking into account that we do so through sources in the background of our psychic structure that we all have within us. By implication, this means that whether or not we have this experience is entirely dependent on whether there is a connection between what we call I, the ego, and our inner person. It constitutes a natural border crossing, something that we can move between not only within ourselves but also together with others. Without it there is no real personality, and only a very limited inner movement, constantly surrounded by the restrictions that conditioning exposes us to which prevents our psychic person from participating and conveying its content.

The sami being Máderáhttje acts as a spiritual ancestor, a negotiator and cultural voice, in itself a timeless cross-section of the contents of our collective consciousness, but has nothing to do per se with our conceptions of our own fathers. We have expectations that our fathers should also fulfill our relationship to what Máderáhttje is to us within us. Regardless of the fact that he is a psychic relation. A connection between the psychic content he conveys in a cultural sense and the ego. As its positive force, he transfers that content to us to make it observable based on our self-inspection and our personal conditions. If he exerts a negative influence, he is not separate from its content, or from its significant influence on us in its own right, and he is expressed in a narcissistic way in his relation to the collective consciousness. As if that content was something of his own makings or created by the ego in its identification with him in our undeveloped relationship to which we are conditioned from an early age and where we confuse him with a real person. Madderahkka’s meaning to us here as his spouse is to embody what he represents. She creates vessels for him everywhere. In her negative aspect, the vessels she creates for parts of the collective consciousness becomes a way for her to control others, what she can allow or not of this content that he negotiates. When her influence on us is positive, we ourselves are safe vessels for his cultural background knowledge in an observing, participating and self-inspecting relationship with its content. Naturally, this is gender neutral as they also coexist in both sexes at the same time. But in an undeveloped relationship with them tensions arise within us, and with those whom we appoint to carry them for us as we are not yet mature enough to face them, and to the original whole that encloses, unites, and guides us, all of which can become negative in their interaction with us. The underlying whole is transformed into all-encompassing emotional thoughts and notions of a lost or future idyllic time and place that must not be questioned because they are what justify our actions. When conscious, the primordial wholeness is the sense of oneness we have with nature from within, and with all psychic life in a coherent personal sense that we share with everyone else. Unable to bear the tension it creates because we have not yet experienced their influence on us as real, we transfer them onto others and let that tension stage our relationship with them in our outer relationships. To put it more clearly. When our male inner parent (Máderáhttje) is negative, the relationship to the content of our collective consciousness becomes narcissistic and egocentric. Often authoritarian. When this is the case, it is also not to difficult to see how little we tolerate the opinions of others. When positive, it forms a psychic relationship with our own time from within that causes us to transcend it, and psychologically go beyond it. If our inner mother Máttaráhkká is positive, her nature creates vessels for Máderáhttje wherever he appears. Together they form our inner parents and unite our sense impressions in such a way that they form an inner congenital context in our conscious life. When Máttaráhkká is negative, she creates vessels above all to be able to control the relationships to the conscious content of her surroundings. Our cultural conditioning and the relationship to how it should be maintained precedes the psychic sources from which our sensations originate. To an infantile and still psychically inexperienced mind this is of course nonsense. There is still no “absolute” or psychic reality. It has not yet experienced themselves and gone through the trials and psychological hardships that Máttaráhkká’s daughters present to us. Our inner person does not exist in any real sense to us. He is still in a dormant or catatonic state. Unknown to us, we are tossed between our inner parental figures in a restless stream of consciousness. Seemingly without end because they are not known to us in relation to our inner person. Only as a constant flow of sensations that the ego does not know what they are, where they originally come from and what psychic content their energy provides us with. They will only fill us with anxiety and restlessness that results in us oscillating between constant desires and a feeling of reluctance or disgust at the psychic life we ​​are about to discover through our inner family not only within ourselves but all around us. In a mature and psychically developed relationship with him, he forms the link between our inner person and his mediation of the union of opposites and underlying singularity that magnifies exactly the experiences we are mature enough to encounter in our self-observation of the psychic energy that this evokes. In old Sami tradition, this omnipresent source behind everything in life was referred to as Rádienáhttje.

As Máderáhttje’s (our inner father figure’s) influence on us wanes in its relation to our collective consciousness, nature in its separate parts appears in his place as substantial properties of what it is in itself, and in the interaction we have with elements of the psychic energy emanating from its inner self-regulating center which nature embodies when they appear and act as external qualities in our environment which reflect the background from which they emerge in their various guises. Inspiring, informative and helpful. As various sources of inspirational energy previously pent up in our inner father figure, but which have their true origin in the whole to which our individual psyche relates us. The first experience of this disintegration by him is a feeling of relief. Because our inner person is directly related to the experience of the converging center of information we find behind the experience of being in the inner calm the original wholeness gives us. Our outer person acts as his dark brother, defending him and directing the psychic energy back to its original source. Unless we identify with it. From an inner traditional perspective, inspiration is manifested with personal characteristics. As several independent characters with their own locations and tasks. Which must be treated with the same consideration and attention as everything else we are a living part of. Naturally self-inspecting. It is crucial for our relationship to our direct experience, to experiential knowledge and information. From them we are provided with guidance, with their inherent energy in their self-regulating order in relation to nature and its inner self-organizing structure in itself. They constitute a constantly learning relationship between us and all that surrounds us, in which we are forced to our second attention, to observe our sensations instead of identifying with them, and find the original substructure for our openness and inner wholeness and the life processes which involve us in our mental maturation along with them. In a traditional context they have received names as personal relationships to the unique experiences we have of them. As objective forces in a larger psychic context which we are part of from within they have contemporary terms without the experiences we get from them personally. Most often when someone tries to describe this relationship, it is done with gods, whatever that is, and with the mindset of the person who is trying to describe it in its personal relation to the sensations they have of them in a collective sense. Which has very little to do with the direct experience people make of this by living close to nature and each other. Not by having learned “objective terms” for our relations to ourselves, to our inner wholeness and its psychic relation to nature itself, in the self-inspecting life it implies in the relations we share with others there. It is the same spiritual inspiration we find manifested in our collective consciousness that we also find, in a traditional sense, everywhere in our natural surroundings. Just as our inner father figure, Máderáhttje, and Máttaráhkká’s influence on us is intermingled with and conceptualized in many different parts of the collective consciousness, hers as a vessel for his, but we experience his influence and inspiration also transmitted to many different places, and to many different psychic beings in them.

When we lose our real parents because we have become adults or they have passed away, the tendency is that at the same time we also lose the connection to our inner parents. This becomes evident to us as we through our inner mother we are constantly looking for safe vessels for our impressions, our inspiration and inner enlightenment which our inner father supplies us with everywhere, without any real connection with them within us. We instead experience an inner dissatisfaction, anxiety and restlessness where our sensations are everywhere and nowhere. We are too busy to let ourselves find our way back to the original stillness and the balance and peace of mind it conveys, where instead our inner parents act as containers that give us access to a greater whole whose converging center produces insight, inspires, unites opposites and guides us as we allow ourselves the objectivity our self-inspection needs for our inner health. It is almost impossible to estimate enough the importance of our inner family, in older Sami tradition our Sáivu family, and the relationship between Máderáhttje, Rádienáhttje. Máttaráhkká and Rádienáhkká in their relation to Raediengiedte and Radienniejdda in their functional roles for our psychic self-observation. Without them, our inner wholeness is lost and our psychic life becomes restless and flutters aimlessly about everywhere without any real personal connection to ourselves and our own person. We no longer see how we stage them in our lives and let others be part of the conflicts that arise when they interact with us and act in the background that guides our mental actions, and we try to control or suppress them through others. It is like constantly taking part in life processes experientially that have their own inner functionality, independent of us. Which makes our minds act on us with sensations that are not our own, and not created by the ego. It is with a deep sense of relief that our sensations calm down in their constant search for the underlying whole from which they arise and can rediscover their original psychic states within us, their experiential content and the timeless human background they bring with them.

* The title of this post is a quote from Jung I found appropriate in this context. It may have a different meaning in its original context.

Because our inner ‘center’, the function of our spirit and inspiration, the psychic energy emanating from it, is not commonly perceived as the true source of the personality, it seeks its outlet and recognition in transferred form elsewhere, restlessly and everywhere in our collective consciousness. In this cognitive misunderstanding of it, it is united with the inner cultural father figure and with objective substitutes which gives rise to an inner imbalance and confusion because everything that arises within us is in constant change. Impressions arise all the time and disappear without us being able to control it. We can suppress it, but not put it under the control of the ego. The ego can convey the content that arises in its encounter with the collective consciousness but is not what creates it. The ego is not its original source. In sami this experience is traditionally conceptualized in the connection between Rádienáhttje and Máderáhttje where our inner person Radiengiedde is the one who conveys the content of our sensations and psychic impressions to our consciousness, and to the ego as its recipient there. In this way, both Rádienáhttje, and our psychic reflection is connected to breathing, to our psychic state of inner balance, to nature, to Rádienáhkká, the greater whole and its point of convergence to which our breath and spirit lead us through self inspection. Breathing provides us with the meditative stillness we need to receive our senses and interact with them without identifying with them. Whether our focus is academic or self reflective, it is in that state that we open ourselves to the inner voices that provide our consciousness with its content as we interact with it. As the icing on the cake I recently was made aware of this talk(link) and its information about breath and its connection to the experience of this function as the god of the hebrew. In old Finnish traditions there was our “nature”, luonto, and that which made up our person, our self, which was always deeply united with breathing and communicated to us both as life and as inspiration, as its spirit. As an individual experience of the source of life, I find it difficult to see it in the limiting religious word matrices of the collective consciousness. In a personal sense, it has always served as the unknown impulse that produces insight, unites opposites, inspires, guides and teaches us. In me it unites mental actions with bodily life where focusing on breath makes all the difference.

It is an extremely sensitive time when our consciousness grows out of the original whole and the ego simultaneously tries to maintain contact with it on its own internal terms, and still connect with all its parts and the sensations that then govern their interactive functioning and our mental actions. It is as if we have to separate ourselves from it, yet remain in touch with its content. Most often though, we lose that connection at the same time as we transfer it and become completely dependent on external sources for it to continue to be conveyed to us. This disunion will make us try to piece together a functional balance, most likely ideal, invulnerable and perfectionist, between the external sources that best reconcile us with the influence that the internal parts of the whole have on us. If we somehow manage to maintain a contact with the greater whole, a dissonance arises between the content of it and the manifest world’s ability to experientially perceive and formulate its psychic properties and nature. We interact with it unconsciously by identifying with its nature, and by expressing its inherent qualities, we just take for granted that we are what it is and associate our ego personality with its content in an outer sense and make its actions ours. Which turn the confrontation with those we have inside us into something we stage on the outside. When we do not know who they are and what their true inner meaning is for us, they control us through the external sources we use them in as we cast them in our external relationships. If no one assists us or guide us to our own confirmation of the experiential content of our encounter with them, we experience an inner psychic confusion without any structural balance, and without the chaordic center that unites us to the whole both as something in itself, and as something that confronts us with its inner parts. All farewells. All parting ways, the cessation of, or a withdrawal of psychic energy, as it constantly appears and disappears in our daily lives, will be attended with anxiety, sorrow, and melancholy. In the worst case, it will even dominate our lives. The same sense of loss we experienced of the first or original and broken contact with the inner whole will arise again and again and make itself known to us as if the very access to it and its functioning depended entirely on external sources. In the dysfunctional relationship between our inner father in a cultural sense, conceptualized in Sami as Máderáhttje, who is the one who directs our ‘spirit’ to our collective consciousness and the contemporary content that our own time prefers, will unite our inner source of inspiration with external sources everywhere. Which will make us psychologically disoriented and lost within ourselves. We will have no personally experienced contact with our inner family, our Sáivu family, or any living contact with the contents of our psychic energy. The source of our force of life. It won’t make any sense to us because we will have no real relationship to life. We will only use it as an intoxicant to satisfy our undeveloped and narcissistic needs. Something our relationships will constantly remind us of.

Many years ago, in a relationship I was involved in, I came to profoundly experience the concept of transference on a deeply personal level. Which I couldnt have done without it. It turned my sensations into a self-inspecting tool. I had an intense affection for my partner, but unexpectedly, and as a disturbance to my inner balance, that same affection was also in itself, independently of me, turned elsewhere on to someone else. It appeared spontaneously and impulsively, completely outside my conscious control, which made it extremely powerful when the transference was at the same time also mixed with sexuality. Something that is later on no longer an essential part of the equation, but a sensation among others, unless we are exposed to a very prolonged psychological immaturity. The moment I became aware of this, the affection seemed to return to me, transforming back into something that was unmistakably ’mine’. It was as if I had previously allowed that energy to be contained by another person, and now, it had come back to its rightful origin within me as a sensation I profoundly experienced and observed physically in my body, but detached as a sensation in it own right by my inner person. This realization brought about a fundamental change in how I related to my interior psychic life, to women, and it also opened up a new dimension within me where I came to understand something more about my own genders relation to it too in a cultural way, one that had been hidden from me until then. Recently, while in a deep meditative state, this experience resurfaced, bringing with it new insights. In this state of attentive observation, the experience was placed in a new context for me, one that was perceived objectively by my senses. I began to see how I navigate the relationship between mind and body at the level of sensation, entirely independent of any physical or manifest conscious reality. It became evident that this was a relationship between my sensations, both psychic, and body sensations, as an interplay between them happening entirely within my own person. I realized, once again, how my body had been responding to my sensory impressions as if they were contained in something or someone else, as if these sensations and the energy following them were external forces beyond my own inner being. Something that happens when we either identify with our mental sensations or the bodily ones. But not both. I had obviously been quite blind to their true origin within me. Before this experience, these psychic impressions were projected outward, embodied in someone or something else, separated from their connection to my conceptualisation of them, as selected parts of the content of the spirit of our age, or its aggregate cross-section of consciousness and experienced as if they had an existence outside of my mind. Now, in this deeper meditative space, I understood that the senses are meant to realize and manifest its content as consciousness and an embodied experience of the world. My mind’s sensations are always linked to the body, just as the body’s sensations are always tied to the mind. By perceiving and observing them together in this way, I could now fully appreciate the wholeness they brought me into, and be in both mentally and physically. In this self-reflective meditative state, everything distilled into pure sensation—both psychological and physical—momentarily observable in their entirety, as they had been in that original moment I mentioned earlier. These sensations came and went, revealing only the original, timeless whole that are regulary dismissed of and we are often advised against entering, both in others and in ourselves as something childish and regressive, and not connected to psychological maturation. This genuine root essence of beingness is a source of loss and contained a sadness and vulnerability that re-emerges in every encounter with that whole and in all the major transitions we face in life, in every change and daily shift between our various inner states. In the Indian tradition, they have metta meditation and noble speech to provides a meaningful bridge between our deeper inner selves and everyday practical life. It serves as a transitional space where both realms can coexist, preventing a sudden or abrupt break from the deeper self-awareness cultivated through meditation. I experienced this as my deepest sense of projection or transference: encountering my sensations as they where positioning the bodily sensations against its mental experience, and the mental sensations against its bodily experience. Then transfer these dynamics onto an idealized version of ourselves identifying with one or the other, and staging them in our surroundings. This is typically shaped by a perfectionist ideal drawn from the layers of our conscious mind. But speaking from this experience as a kind of introduction to a psychic dimension of life, without it we would still be childish, psychically immature, egotistical and narcissistic and unable to function in balance within ourselves or with a partner or in our society. Also, the imagery it gives us also causes us to renew our contact with the original elements of our psychic life and our earliest cultural ways of conceptualizing it. This is part of what we can go through when we seriously spend time meditating, without contact with other people and the world around us for an extended period of time, and our minds are allowed to develop an independent relationship with us. Something we share with everyone around us as a content we have in common.

It was a descent that lasted three days. To find the peace and tranquility where we can see how we are driven by self-awareness to our self-meditative center. Where a separation from our inner father occurs and we simultaneously experience his relationship to the contemporary spirit he represents, the cross-section it is of all the layers of insight and knowledge whose content generations of people have created since time immemorial and we call consciousness, and also refer to as existence itself. Which we in our identification with at the same time also become separated from. Because here we realize that our self-meditative center cannot be controlled by it. It is experienced as something outside of this content and acts independently of it, as it appears and emits its information consisting of psychic energy and then disappears again. It has nothing to do with anyone’s goodwill or approval. The sensation of it arises in the spirit of self-realization, individually and independently of all others. But in relation to the law that governs our inner equilibrium and our mental actions. Where we seek the uncontaminated mind in balance not only with ourselves but in relation to others. In descending into this self-meditative atmosphere, we experience the inner peace and stillness we need in our search for the meaning of this content for us. Here we also discover that our inner life is part of a much larger whole, which, when we have freed ourselves from our identification to our inner mother who creates vessels of its experience everywhere, becomes a greater psychic reality in itself, in whose nature everything is included and our self-inspection finds its own calm in the equilibrium between this greater wholeness and our self-meditative center. Between Rádienáhttje and Rádienáhkká. We can call it the second attention, Sáivu, nibbana or anything else that comes naturally to our mind. It nevertheless refers to the same original human experiences. If the spirit of our time, its psychic atmosphere does not have a relationship with this, We will be out of touch with the sense of belonging it conveys to us. Nor will we feel part of the greater whole of our life and its inner peace.

I recently read that Jung described “spirit”, the classic formulation of psychic energy, the impulse that produces insight, unites opposites, inspires, teaches and guides us, as having been split. One part is where it is generally allowed to be expressed in contemporary external sources, conditioned by its social environment where we confuse its functionality with external sources at any point in time. The other part is that energy of inspiration which we experience personally, and within a given structural psychic order. Where its content charged with psychic energy becomes formulated in a vessel, a ’spiritual’ container in which they together form a self-meditative whole. In older Sami tradition they correspond to the relationship between Máderáhttje and Rádienáhttje for whom Rádienáhkká embodies nature as their vessel, and where Máttaráhkká relates to us in multiple recepticles for the contexts manifested by our personal psychic experiences, through which we are then guided to the original whole by our inner person where they are all included. In my own way, I understood that it was about Jung’s relationship with his father, in a similar way to my own. A coming to terms with the incompatibility that this split has created for him and in me, and the environment we find ourselves in that doesn’t know how to bring the two together and make them one regardless of where it chooses to find its natural outlet for us or anyone else. It has no meaning if it cannot discharge its visionary psychic energy for the good of the people with whom it has been called to involve itself. This in turn means that we become cognitively inhibited in our perception of the body and its connection to the information contained in the energy content we call life also for our own part. We treat it as in the story of the genie in the bottle. Where the appearance of the bottle is more important than its contents. While others confuse the energy content of it, and the wholeness it conveys with all sorts of commitment to artificial intoxication. Nor can I help seeing the experience of this totality, its inner balance and peace of mind as the state of equanimity achieved in the practice of Vipassana, and the causal sense of recollection and recovering of our original psychic content as Satipatthana in the experiential traditions of India.

To meditate is to go back to our childhood state’s relationship to the original whole we felt we were a part of but as adults to find the inner balance that makes us mature in it as human beings. We experience it both as an inner setting and a place. When we get there having gone through the difficulties, its cognitive distortions of awareness, the things that hurt us and the obstacles we find on our way there, we end up in the personification and embodiment of the wholeness as a psychic vessel, or soul again, which alternately and in its primeval unchanging parts interacts with us there on its own terms, separated from our confusion of them in external sources. We end up in a psychological state where our inner person will be experienced independently of our outer senses and the body’s manifestation of them. Instead, we begin to participate in the impressions whose background we can only identify through references to the external relationships they have had when they were charged with psychic energy. Focusing on the energy contained in those experiences we find that its content also shapes the information we then formulate in our relationship to the different parts of the greater whole our inner person experience itself as a participant of. Both together with and beyond our inner family as we also encounter a guiding principle that is ever present in this greater whole as its self-meditative creative source which unites all opposites in the vessel that our original wholeness come to embody. In this sense, we become a latent relation to nature’s own inner spontaneous, self-organizing and inspiring chaordic center, and the information that its energy wants to transmit to us and initiate us to, and we find ourselves participating in as a connection to the underlying original instructions we find within us and in everything, everywhere around us and which guide us in our psychic development to become human, not just a shell, but a human with being, a human being.
A quote I found from Jung illustrates this aptly. ‘Once we have freed ourselves from the prejudice that we have to refer to concepts of external experience or to a priori categories of reason, we can turn our attention and curiosity wholly to that strange and unknown thing we call spirit.‘
That is, to the experience of inspiration. Which is at the center of our perception of this wholeness acting on us as a vessel with that quality which direct us to its content as an inspirer, teacher and guide. I mean, isn’t it quite a common thing to talk to yourself and to reflect on what is coming out of it. In any case, it is something that has occupied me all my life. This is a way of formulating an inner maturity in relation to it.

By protecting it, we try to create a kind of stable emotional atmosphere to replace the feeling of an early lost experience of bliss, a lost paradise of the mind, and we then try to replace the experience we had of that original whole with temporal and material means instead of seeking the psychic background within us on which this whole rests. An experience that never left us but was distorted in various ways when it was mixed up with the underlying desires that the ego identifies us with when it searches for it. Often it is a notion of a coherent sense of being psychically protected by a carefree sense of genuine security, an idea of ​​an infallible identity with a place and the people to whom it relates. Something that can then be transferred to material standards and political ideals. But that place is the experience we once had when we were children of the original whole as a place that simultaneously exists as a psychic reality both inside and outside of us. It is the inviolable source and inner balance that the one who has experienced it cannot encroach on, hurt or humiliate in others without it having a severe moral repercussion on the one who performs actions that may damage that relationship. All the destructive actions we encounter in our world around us, all the psychic activities that intentionally, impulsively or thoughtlessly enclose and steal it from others have their basis in this first loss, and a rejection of what we carry inside that we always seek in external sources. When we lost our proximity to this primordial self-meditating chaordic whole, we had no protective layers, and so it weighed on us to need to defend against it, where it had been lost. It is not entirely clear to us, but the true purpose of this inner search may not have so much to do with ourselves as with those who came before us. We extricate
them from what has held them captive. That which once captured them and stripped them of their connections to the original whole. We suddenly see within ourselves what it was in them that we could not understand. We see their suffering and the reconciliation they were forced to make with the hopelessness it entailed and which hurt us so deeply.

Sometime between the age of six and eight we encounter the confusion which will then continue in an opposite relationship between our inner person and his approach to our outer world throughout our life. An original disorder that we gradually try to put right and through our outer made-up person try to arrange and relate to. We put together an facticious order which in turn will create an approval for what can and cannot be in it. What is rejected becomes what we displace of it and blame on others and which must not belong to the inner order we invented for ourselves, regardless of what our outside world looks like. No matter how we then try to arrange and rearrange our own world and bring it closer to the one in which we find ourselves, it remains in the same disorder regardless of how we try to arrange our own. Yet the external world will never be changed by our artificial arrangement and ordering of an inner fragile and loosely joined sense of continuity and wholeness. It will remain in the same confusion that we are trying to protect ourselves from anyway, and in the same apprehensive confusion that we once experienced without our own ordering rules and principles of what it should and should not contain. We come back to that crossroads in our lives, where what was there before us, and between us and others, is what has been that unsettling primordial experience all along. Without a natural reciprocating movement back and forth between our outer person and back to this dreaded first state of which we are a part, we will only try to fill others with our undeveloped relationship to the original parts of our own inner person and with temporary values ​​from external sources. If we constantly only identify ourselves with every impression and impulse that arises within us, we only make the ego an end in itself.

Just as we experience an aspect of the earth as a larger external psychic vessel in relation to our inner self in its connection with it, so we also have a relation to the earth in the form of its inherent energy, the life energy that constitutes the underlying information manifested in everything, everywhere around us, as its embodiment and its nature in our psychic relation to it as an inner unifying principle. In ancient Egypt, this experiential function was formulated in the form of Geb. The earthly side of nature’s abstract psychic being as an aspect of its vessel, but through it also as its inner earthbound principle of vegetative energy and vitality. Of psychic growth. If we have not achieved the balance required of us, if we are to succeed in getting closer to our inner person, it is Geb who still keeps us grounded and on the right path as he connects us to this world of energy. Here and now. He is timelessly united with Nut who can make our mind wander aimlessly into the cosmic night, the one that makes us leave this world for the underworld and a primordial state where there is no difference between the temporal and psychic worlds. Which is Isfet or the sense of disorder our inner person experience in the primordial chaos. Geb and Nut are then in an uninterrupted, eternal embrace where all is one. When separated, like the celestial night and the earthly energy, they go beyond our personal sphere in their ever-recurring psychic union. A balance whose tension brings us back and forth between them. Which then also allows us to accept existence as an infinite amount of cyclical processes. Where the meeting with Nut and Geb constantly remains the creative meeting for the constant recurrence of everything. A meeting at the entrance to the world filtered through the interstices of all there is, between the temporal and the infinite, and the inner equilibrium and balance between them that is required of us. Where we become vessels for the celestial energy when it becomes embodied and which unites us with all life around us from within. I also see them as the equivalent of the old Sami ‘heavenly’ couple, Rádienáhkká and Rádienáhttje, and their son and daughter as counterparts of Osiris and Isis. Where Seth’s dismemberment of his brother Osiris, the person within, can be likened to what happens when societal conventionality is experienced as threatened and wrestled within us with our emerging psychic life and origins. Geb was also seen as the father of the snake who judge us and provide us with all the different parts of our psyche, or soul in a classical context. So if we want to understand the content that is there, we must first be ’poisoned with knowledge’, which we snake around in our mind to obtain, to be able to separate ourselves from the underlying psychic energy we are exposed to in our experience of what is behind the figure of Geb. We must overcome our instinctive identification with it, and come to terms with the unadulterated content of our impulses. In ancient Egypt, this duality between the primordial chaos and a world in psychic balance was held sacred. Our world was out of balance without our inner attention, ’to achieve Maat’. Something that has since been lost in our general consciousness, and which we have turned into mental suffering and illness in the world they left behind. But for the first time in human history, we are beginning to be able to distinguish between the underlying experiential content of our impressions and their concepts as our means of giving our inner experiences a form in themselves, as something separate from the psychic experience of them. That being said, it is not out of the question that this is exactly what our ancient traditional societies accomplished with their various forms of it. Like the Sami Sáivu. Because if we don’t, we turn our world into a world of our impulses. As if they remain misunderstood, they transform and become destructive.

I think the dualism we find in ancient Egypt between the function of Maat and Isfet gives a good picture of the existence and practical importence of psychic tension within us. Of awareness, observation and the passings of impressions. Between the origin of inspiration and its transformation within the soul, our psyche as its vessel. A kind of union within us. It assumes that everything is cyclical. All that is arises and then passes away. The disappearance of consciousness as day becomes night, and the unknown as the unconscious underworld which turns into day again. Life becomes a series of transitions and a journey back and forth, both psychically as we enter its timeless world and as we return with renewed insights into what this inner activity means, with bodily death being the ultimate aspect of that journey but one that we do not physichly return from. To cope with it, we must purify ourselves and find the right mind. We must be in balance, and we must be able to perceive the celestial order here on earth before we can enter our inner realm. Which is not possible with our physical body. We have to expose ourselves to the long drawn-out process of inner transformation and familiarize ourselves with the forces acting on our minds from there. If we only experience disharmony, mental disorder, and the primal chaos that surrounds it, we cannot make any transition to it. We will only be overwhelmed by the powers of the preconscious within us and become swallowed by them. We must have found and developed our self meditative state and psychic balance through these cycles of light and dark, our conscious perceptions and what arises beyond it, connected to how we live our daily lives and practice our relationship to this inner order first. Which makes me consider this initiation, the psychic journey it entails as something which contained a series of encounters and inner trials with different aspects or forms of it. Not as something unapproachable, bound by our temporal references to them, but as living realities with a certain psychic content of energy that we can assimilate through how we approach and transform their influence on us. Which we are involved in on several levels, which the movement of consciousness in various forms puts us in touch with beyond our ego’s comprehension, but we also find depicted in the journey of the sun where it is swallowed by the night and in the unknown is confronted with its underlying trials in the meeting with the forces that act on us from there before it arises again and makes his reformed entry into the world again with a strengthened self-worth as a renewed being, always followed by maat. This journey into the world of psyche, the underworld is also described as being swallowed up by the celestial darkness of night rendered and personified as a function of Nut whose body clothed in stars is the one we get swallowed by and pass through to be reborn by her every morning, during psychic reflection and when we die. However, we must not forget that it is their psychic functions, and that it is our inner experience of the interaction with them that is important, not their figurative representation. But their figurative content is useful to have as a reference when we try to share our experience of the functions they hold. Because what matters is the balance of the mind, our self-meditative state, not the term or label we put on it.

In our self-meditative inner center there is a balance and a formal functional inner organization and order as opposed to that which is disharmonious and in a separate incompatible primordial state of chaos and confusion. In the early development of our consciousness, we gradually replace this chaotic primordial state with a self-meditative state of inner equilibrium and in a balance between them in the tension that arises between these parties which then remain for our entire life within us as a pair of opposites between consciousness and the temporal, and the timeless content of the psyche. From this state then arises our embodiment of authenticity, truth and justice. It is not difficult to understand what happens here if we expose the experience of this early consciousness to an external influence of codependent emotional states, in its need to find approval, satisfy personal needs and strengthen a failing self-worth through a still vulnerable relationship to a developing self-meditative inner center. Not by being an example for it, but by holding it hostage. Such an approach to it undermines its relationship with our inner parents and their early importance to us as carriers of the psychic vessels we need them for, to safely learn to transform inspiration into insight and psyche into a container for its activity and conscious realisation. In classical terms, finding the meditative state between spirit and soul, which naturally arise when they diminish in relation to it or help us if they are no longer available to us, they may also regain their original underlying inner meaning, if they are repressed or convey a feeling of psychological absence and rejection instead of inner support. If this connection becomes broken we will find ourselves in an alienated situation without access to the first or original abstract pair acting on us beyond them, and to which they relate us early in our self-meditative development. But if our inner self-meditative capacity for psychic reflection has not been completely ruined, we will find our inner person and its partner in their relationship to us as messengers between us and all of them there.

It is with a special sense of relief that we leave jabmeahkka’s compulsive need to constantly create vessels around us for all her various external co-dependent emotional states and external sources of self-worth, and her search to find her existential approval in our relationships, and her concern for and control of our inner person in its outer context to divert it from its relation to our self-meditative psychic center. The external conditioned structural habits of our inner parents will then diminish in importance, because they have an internal mode of functioning that exclusively relies on our psychic structure, beside our inner person and its partner, sister, and companion as the embodiment of the personal psyche’s relationship to nature, so that they independently can resume their original function as direct mediators of the union it implies with nature both as source and vessel in its outer embodied cultural sense of our relationship to them and to the inner experience of the chaordic center to which our inner person connect us. In this, our psychic energy is always an unwaveringly genuine and authentic teacher and singularity embodied in a psychically experiential vessel.

It really gets confused within us when our co-dependent emotional states through our inner mother create vessels for us everywhere, and our inner father in all these vessel inner states, constantly creates external sources of inspiration to seek approval and self-worth without being aware of their true inner origin, or the personal psychic significance they have for us as an inner family. But like Máttaráhkká and Máderáhttje, they convey these states as our cultural aspects of psychic life, and a union within and beyond our inner family that liberates our inner person from outer emotional states of co-dependence and existential acceptance. They no longer need to alienate us from ourselves or constantly undermine our adult human relationships. But, the defense mechanisms and vulnerability that still condition our psychologically incestuous adult relationships in our psychic environment will, however, constantly test us in our human relationships with those within us and in their relationship with people around us. And as long as we do not perceive Máttaráhkká’s ability to create vessels everywhere with Máderáhttje, we have not brought ourselves to leave jabmeaimo, and jabmeahkka’s undermining seductive co-dependent emotional state where we derive our self-worth from her in external sources, instead of participating in and developing our own relationships with our inner family.

It is everyone’s unique relationship to our inner person, its vessels and inspirational directions that really makes us listen to ourselves, to what it also is in others, and then also trust the experiences we make, and the maturity that arises in our relationship to the teaching it entails, which in turn makes us aware of ourselves as we interacts with it. The night sky, in this external sense, has always been the ultimate limit in the experience of this unknown for me. Its endless scope and underlying psychic flow of consciousness seemingly arising out of itself in an unrefined form. As when it is transformed becomes life itself, the growing inner power it has as an underlying conscious whole, its momentum that reconnect us to our psychic structure, our inner maturity in it, with the community we feel in its self-organizing chaordic space that makes it present in everything, everywhere all the time. But always embraced by and embodied in an overarching way by the overwhelming presence of the unknown behind the night sky, filtered and shaped through the incalculable depths of what I don’t know, and conveyed to the conscious mind in its realization of the meaning that emerges out of this psychic context from which it mysteriously arises. Our mortality and the timelessness we experience in it by the expansion of our consciousness and its ever-present limit to the infinite. Which in turn makes it difficult for most of us to distinguish life between its immaterial psychic forms of experience and the calculation of properties and behavior of physical systems focused on mass. Psychic presence is also experienced as having both mass and energy. But in an inclusive sense. Psychic experiences give shape to our considerations and an imaginative perspective on what we cannot see because it affects us in the same way as if its energy possessed mass. In this sense, this mass appears to us to be of a representative nature, and whether we turn it into the ego’s way of meeting what it encounters as its own self-end, its isolated fears or not, when we attribute it to it’s limited scope and perspective, we give it a form wether we consider it apart from our scientific or practical intentions or not. We give what we experience its personally experiential psychic reality. A content and an inner context alongside our material way of relating to the world around us, and to something underlying within us that we also experience and relate to. By relating to it independently of others around us, we also give back the importance of this content and the experiential relationship it has to us to everyone in our entire family line. It is in this way that we were also made aware of it when we were children, we became aware of ourselves when this came to constitute a distinction for us, in the important psychically self-reflective relationship that arose between us and ourselves, between our inner family and our time, which since then has always been there regardless of our environment’s relationship to it, where each of us individually must learn to trust our own relationship to this inner conversation, to the guidance it provides us with and the lifelong inner maturation the emergence of new psychic content to our consciousness implies. Wherever it leads us, behind our inspiration there is always a kind of reconciliation with the essence of the spirit.

An aspect of this our inner union of insight, guidance, inspiration, and its vessel and embodiment could be expressed in the celestial wedding of Rádienáhttje and Rádienáhkká where the psychological experience of this takes place both below and at the same time above the personal sphere mediated through Radiengieddte and Radienniejta, as psyche and spirit. As they are our personal connections to the ’heavenly’ realm as mediators of nature as soul, its interior and its chaordic center. Its vessel, energy and information as both its primordial embodiment and spirit. Together they constitute the original family from which all others derive their energy and underlying content in relation to our inner parent couple and the experiences we provide them with. They are always with us and furnish our lives with the content that arranges it, constitutes its inner framework and determines its conditions, instructed as they are by our psychic primordials counsel in spirit and meaning. They are always directly involved in our lives and provide us with information and guidance in a way that we cannot always perceive on a conscious level.

Letting our inner parents act as mediators and be the ones who in a cultural sense express and convey our inspiration, our spirit in a classical sense, its content and direction, and our soul or the psyche as its manifestation, its vessel, together constitute the structural inner pattern of order our inner person encounters at the personal level of the mind. If a dissonance has arisen between them in the form of their inherent energy being rejected, perceived as intrusive or disturbing, then our inner person becomes inhibited by the critic within us and it is turned against us. It will then not act in their protection and support our psychic integrity but as a critic of the relationships we have with the functioning of our inner family. In our physical world we will then constantly stage this inner dissonance between the persons in our personal psyche as we give expression to the spirit, our inspiration, and try to give it a vessel for its realization. As the critic’s role is not understood, it will have a destructive effect on our way of realizing their influence on our lives. Instead, we will constantly criticize ourselves for our spontaneity and for the psychic content that they convey through us in an external sense. We will also see our own inner critic in others when we encounter it in its transferred form where they are perceived as repressed due to both our own and those around us too strict conventional attitude to our psychic life, where their inherent energy is then not allowed to express itself other than in rational and already generally recognized and accepted forms, or we simply perceive it as not getting the attention we think they are entitled to. That said, spontaneity, inspiration, spirit, contain the important second opinion we need that arises when we allow ourselves a more open approach to both our own and others’ lives, when we allow it to be expressed from its natural state and in its independence to the the prevailing attitude in our psychic environment. Which will make us feel rejected when our inner critic is confused with others. Our original environment for their earliest realization within us then emerges again but now with persons who have nothing to do with it, we unconsciously set them up to carry out the inner relations we have with our inner family in its previously rejected or distorted psychic environment. The inner family constellation will now be replayed, staging its original but as yet undeveloped modes of functioning in the environment we find ourselves in. We want to participate and express our spirit, but our inner critic from our earliest relationships has taught us that it is not allowed to be so spontaneous. We want to be a vessel for the inspiration our relationships give us, but we feel neglected and rejected by the fact that we cannot/were not allowed to participate in them in a spiritual or psychological sense. Our early family ties did not allow it. Our inner critic always gets the last word and sets the agenda for how we relate to our inner family and to people and situations around us. Actually it is not evil but merely undeveloped and a little too spontaneous and impulsive in a way that does not also give space to others for this inner psychic atmosphere and its inherent and inspiring energy. But abused or forced by suppression, this inner critic will always alone be the dominant factor governing the relationship we have with our inner original psychic family, in all those situations where we feel we want to participate fully in an unreserved way both as vessel for others’ but also to spontaneously vent out our own inspiration. That is, without constantly having to experience it as abused, criticized, rejected or ridiculed because it is not something that appears in the generally recognized and external conventional context of our conditioned family. But something that becomes a possibility in the inner state of equanimity which is our general most basic human state of calm and balance of mind. It is from within this place of trust that our compassion arises that we share with life itself. This place has come to represent the deep personal and psychic wound that too few dare attempt to heal in our Western mind. Many of us will do almost anything, lash out by any destructive means and atrocities, both against others and against ourselves, to escape it. That’s as far as we’ve come from what it truly is, and what it has become.

When I was able to separate the importance of my inner family to me, from the experiences I have provided them with in their relationship to my biological family, then I have not only freed them from each other inside me. I have also freed them from their old distorted meaning that has been passed down between generations in the bloodlines I am a part of, and from their original suppression, the fear that having this psychic reality has come to mean, what it meant to all those before me who carried this on, its anguish and silent suffering, the sense of abandonment it entailed. Of rejection, insecurity and the inner loss it implied, also in all those who saw it around them and diligently carried it on, in seclusion and solitude for us, so that we can someday find their right original meaning for us again. When we do this, we grant them all a timeless relief, our spirit and soul can once again regain their original functions in relation to our inner family. Which connects us with them in a remarkably deep sense of consolation. At best, our spirit then ceases to be a sadistic oppressor and our soul its suffering, anxiety and sense of inadequacy.

It is a protracted process behind my current mental state. A kind of internal change of my focus. A shift from the intermingling of concept-forming symbolic impressions and their coexistence with external sensations. To truly trust the compassion and fundamental scope it has in its sense of an all-encompassing natural embodiment of a here and now with its inner spiritual or chaordic center as its guiding principle. But it’s so difficult to just let go. To just let it happen. Although it is not unknown psychic experiences that appear in opposition to the conventionally constructed person in its compromise, to the deeply human within us all that has grown so much in importance within me and now become so insistent and acutely intrusive. I can feel it in my whole body. A restlessness and inner feeling of restrained excitement and nervousness in anticipation. I know I have to give up my current attitude. Surrender to the fundamental vessel of equanimity and the union it has with natures own inherent source of self-organization. They must be allowed to exist without my interference and be allowed to be expressed through my inner parents based on their own inherent psychological conditions and prerequisites. Since they are important in their roles as the cultural expression of manifest inspiration, for our spirit, and psyche as vessels, or soul of it not only for ourselves but for others as well in the consciousness of the greater psychic extent of being. At best, I know I can only be a mouthpiece for them. It is like being at the end of a road, and in a critical inner shift of my mental focus. I hope that eventually I can trust the inner peace it brings and give in to it. Become a vessel for the compassion and perspective it is to be in the psychic realm of true equanimity.

In this state I took my usual daily walk in the forest in the morning with my dogs. It is a mild dewy and completely still morning. The meadows are lit by the morning sun and filled with flowering clover, yarrow and chamomile. My unified state with my surroundings is suddenly interrupted by something making its way onto the dirt road in front of me. At first I don’t see what it is. I hold the dogs in and discover that it is a buzzard. At first I think it’s somehow wounded and attach the dogs so I can examine it alone. It tries to crouch to be as hidden as it can from me in the grass by the side of the road. I carefully take it out and examine its wings, legs and body. It has no wounds but looks very stressed up and is panting. I checked out its wings and they were ok. Then I gather the wings again so that they lie naturally along the body of it. Then it gets up and jumps away in short flights with outstretched wings again. I now also meet one of our neighbors from the farm next door who had been taking care of the grazing domestic animals, and I now learn that several buzzards have been seen around their henhouse early in the morning. Relieved, we see it at the same time take to its flight because it was not injured but rather completely exhausted after its fight with the chickens. I didn’t stay long enough to find out how the chickens were doing. But I couldn’t help but see the whole situation as an external event with an internal meaning. As my own inner state in its psychic union with the outer morning related directly to all the anomalous events around me through their own unique significance. So I searched for information on the symbolic meaning of the buzzard. The meeting of nature with domesticated life together and in tension within the larger sense of a perceived psychic whole.

Here the general aspects of its symbolism.

“The buzzard symbolizes purification and transformation. Its presence reminds us to release what no longer serves us, allowing space for growth and rebirth. As a scavenger bird, the buzzard teaches us the necessity of letting go of negativity, toxic relationships, and outdated beliefs. It encourages us to cleanse our lives, both physically and spiritually, to create space for new opportunities and experiences.

The spiritual meaning of the buzzard resonates with the importance of embracing change and adapting to new circumstances.

Furthermore, the buzzard embodies intuition and heightened perception. With its keen eyesight and ability to soar high in the sky, this bird reminds us to trust our instincts and tap into our inner wisdom. It serves as a guide, encouraging us to listen to our inner voice and rely on our intuitive abilities to navigate life’s challenges. The buzzard reminds us to rise above earthly matters and view life’s circumstances with a spiritual lens. Throughout history, the buzzard has been seen as a sacred messenger between the physical and spiritual realms. Its appearance serves as a reminder to pay attention to the signs and omens present in our lives.”

I know from my own experience that such coincidences are common in our personal lives in relation to people and events around us. Which creates change and renewed psychological content. But here it is taken a step further. Far beyond that.

To elaborate on this further, into a larger experiential, and purely psychic realm of experiences, it is possible to perceive seemingly independent natural events as connected through an inner synthesis that arose from nature’s own self-organizing inner center to create and correct individual parts and aspects of it by external processes in their interdependencies of the whole. Everything is in this way an embodied and biochemical part of the information whose psychic processes permeate all life. Which we can perceive and participate in in a meditative way through psychic reflection and observation of the chains of events we see in the realization of the greater whole. As something that exists and operates behind all biological life. In all its variety, and which is nevertheless experienced in a psychological context, governed by the inner order that constantly emerges from their own underlying relationships. Just as it also governs our personal relationships when it conveys a new inner psychic perspective on the roles and attitudes we have adopted in them. Most often this psychic challenge is not followed up with the insight we need to understand them. So unfortunately, we have a long way to go before we can consciously accept and adopt a psychic perspective on life that takes into account our human maturity in a way that allows us to unite behind it, and really in a present way participate in a conscious relationship with nature and our surrounding world.

Being in the direct vicinity of, and in a present and observant manner consciously perceiving the interaction that occurs between our chaordic center and nature in its connection with our inner self in an embodied sense; when they are allowed to come into union in a conscious expression through our inner family, we have a direct conversation with nature in its still unrefined and raw flow of psychic energy, which information we then realize in abstract terms and concepts, and transform into practical realities. What we are actually doing is branching off vital self-organizing parts of it for practical purposes. Whatever it is we are trying to understand or do with the information bound in it, we are trying to domesticate it to incorporate in a practical and purposeful way the information we glean from the psychic energy as we interact with it in our lives. The traditional approach for a person to do this, before we gathered this approach in its current scientific or academic way, was to seek knowledge and visions alone but under supervision. To submit to a calling. Be it the process of psychic maturation, a personal relationship with the psychic world, or difficulties and concerns for the inner context of a collective community. It was also done by spending long meditative periods in solitude and in a profound psychic contact with nature. Which also concentrated the mind more on the origin of the information than on the information itself as we do when we study today. The purposes of them have become sharply separated from each other. Yet another way was to go through a sweat lodge ceremony together with knowledgeable elders to get information and seek answers from there. The psychic energy that was concentrated during the ceremonies created the conditions the participants needed to absorb the information that arose there. Often in the form of psychic figures who then named the sweat lodge the stone people lodge. One aspect of the relationship to our inner chaordic center in its union with nature’s embodiment of it was to express the personal inherent relationship to it culturally through an inner symbolic father figure or to identify the underlying inspiration, the spiritual psychic experience we make of it as an ancestor with the very qualities that the person or the collective society was in need of. The difference to an academic or our contemporary scientific approach is that the aim was to come to terms with something that created a collective dissonance. Not feeding our inner critic with our narcissistic compulsive needs to covertly express that we still conflate our inner family with the inner unresolved biographical material we carry within us from our biological family and in an outer collective context. The difference between the old traditional way and the modern way lies in the approach, how and why, not where we get our knowledge from.

My inner critic, Rhuotta in Sami, is a ‘property’ of my underlying chaordic center or spirit in a classical sense which, if misunderstood or suppressed, becomes an enemy to my ‘inner’ family. Or Sáivu family. As a critic he does not bring the psychic energies back to their original sources but I make myself into him and that turn him into a terrible and overwhelming opponent, something which will eventually form a second person, a roguish and villainous twin to the one already existing within me. A second subpersonality that forces me to develop a double standard in order to be able to live with the influence he has over me. He becomes my torment, my guilty conscience and the one who, when I can’t come to terms with the pressure from him, makes me transfer him onto others to get relief from my personal burden of his critical content. But to face him as a protection against psychic abuse by an ignorant environment, and a compromise with an outside world that does not accept or affirm the importance of our inner family for my inner equilibrium, he acquires his proper meaning for me, and ceases to be the psychic plague he will otherwise be both to me but above all to everyone else in my surroundings. He will, by the double standard he creates when he exists only in an unconscious and repressed form, divert me from my inner chaordic center and the ongoing contact my inner person has with it as a mediator between it and my conscious world. He acts as a gatekeeper. If I am not in my proper inner state of equanimity, meditative or in psychic reflection, then I do not have access to either my inner family or its relationship to the proper spiritual funktion of the chaordic center which is encompassed by nature as an embodiment of it and within which everything co-exist in a larger and psychologically fundamental scope of human wholeness. Above all, there is a misunderstanding either between our inner person and nature’s own interior center, in classical words our spirit, Radienahttje in Sami, and our inner father in his function as a cultural expression of our relationship between them, and on the other side also between our inner socially expressed cultural mother, in her relationship with the nature that encompasses us, referred to in Sami as Radienahkka, a vessel that embodies all of nature as a flow of our psychic awareness, and is what our cultural mother relates to when she creates vessels of her all around us for the healing information, teachings and the guidance we receive from within our chaordic self-regulating center in its practical and spiritual sense. I think that Radienahkka corresponds well to the experience of the soul of the world. But however we choose to refer to them, it is still the direct experiential knowledge we gain in our relationship with them that is decisive for our access to the influence they have in our psychic life. Because without a relationship between us and our psyche, that inner part that constitutes our contrasexual co-existence with our inner person, we get out of touch with the surrounding experience of being enclosed in a comprehensive natural human whole. We get stuck in the lifeless jahbmeaimo, a narcissistic cul-de-sac of the endless non-reality of the personal unconscious. Where no direct and personal presence exists and the self is governed by our inner critic in his relationship with jahbmeahkka as a vessel for our inhuman demands for conformity; in psychological anguish and with a constant feeling of being as an inadequacy. We don’t get any impression that there is any inner life at all. There is no within.

Without an independent relationship between our inner family and our biological, if they are not separate, they instead make us compulsively dependent on staging our historical relationships with them in a covert manner so that they will constantly form the background that drives the content of how we relate to them in our relationships in the future. There will be no now. No present and coherent sense of awareness and any equanimity of the self in the present moment. We will have a cognitive distorted picture of our human reality. Because they will become that reality in a covert way. We will only allow the content of our biographical family ties to continue to mould our primordial inner parent relationships in an undisclosed collective context, so that we can reconcile their intrinsic ways and behavior with those of others between us and them. I have long distanced myself from this ever-present influence of an inner emotional merger of them, because it leads us away not only from all our other human psychic properties but also to what is beyond them of the shared psychic content that is not universally recognized or accepted. At the same time it also allows us to see it in others as they disapear from our now, into their biographical history or into an unknown future where new constellations of the historically conditioned family can re-emerge and determine what it should look like, with the historical biographical family as a limiting factor to guide and order its inner behavior. The original function of our inner family is never allowed to operate in its proper inner psychic context. So we never get any real access to either their meaning in relation to our chaordic center, or to the embodied psychic vessel that in them relates us to an outer greater whole that also encloses it as part of the nature that surrounds us. More often than not, they don’t come to function as the important cultural expressions they are meant to be for them. There is no spiritual recognition of their influence on us because the ability to cognitively perceive our deeper psychic functions has been overridden by our biographical material and then distorted. From an inner psychic or traditional spiritual standpoint, we have not undergone and embraced the mental maturation process involved in order for us to perceive their true inner reality to us. Therefore, I believe there is great value in reconnecting with our inner psychic roots, which in older Sami tradition was referred to as our Sáivu family. It was the family that particularly gifted nåaidis could connect to, support and re-incorporate into its proper meditative psychic context when the need arose in the group or in individual Sami. Above all in those who were apprenticed to a noaidi. Therefore, those ignorant of this imagined that by having this knowledge-based experience, the noadis could also hold on to and connect with many Sáivu families in a litteral sense and even exchange them with others. Whereas in fact they operated through the inner family we share with everyone around us regardless of the biographical material that obscures our ability to distinguish our Sáivu family from our biological family. It is a slow, long-drawn-out and extremely arduous process to go through, which confronts us with constant moral conflicts with ourselves where the authenticity of our psychic wholeness and its inner balance is ceaselessly tested in its practical relation to our surroundings, it’s a path that initially came damn close to destroying me.

Viewed from our inner chaordic center, or as spirit in classical times, we are undergoing a change whose intensity and tension permeates our world right now. Followers of, and leaders with the old classical and authoritarian view of this inner chaordic center try to maintain the old view and the control they have had over how people who follow them have related to it in themselves. At the same time, more and more people have a renewed view of it, not a literal view of what it is, but an experiential one, which means that it is not entirely limited by the old outdated and authoritarian relationship to how it inspires, advises, guides and drives us. That it is something other than the supercilious and condescending power it is expressed as in its present antiquated form. Unfortunately, we still have to expose each other to all the horrors of the world before we realize what it is we are doing to each other, that we are limiting it in others by our own personal relationship to it in ourselves. That it is a force that brings a unique and personally experienced intention into our lives. It is the intensity of the chaordic center that pushes on to be integrated into the mainstream attitude of our consciousness, that constantly brings development and renewal to individuals and to our culture. Experienced as the only true second opinion seemingly appearing from nowhere within us. Putting a pressure on us that cannot be dealt with in any other way than by renewing our experiential relationship to its source. But first we have to release it back into nature, to free it from our old conventional ideals to allow it to re-emerge, with an open confiding mind, from within.

Our inner chaordic center acts upon us as a pure force of nature. At first as an almost uncontrollable impulse to voice an opinion, like a child constantly overwhelmed by the experience of this encounter and unable to understand what it is. What it wants. What significance it has for it. An impulse without content, just raw power. Something that without guidance he will identify with his ego. Like this child we become its inner unknown driving force. Which when we cannot separate it from the ego will be transferred onto something else, the ego confusing itself with natures own interior authority, and turn it into a fixed belief on something that we confuse it with. The ego then perceives itself as identical with the object of the transmission of this underlying impulse, as its content, and as the momentous purpose of this confusion. Like a belief, an idea, or a definite, firm conviction. Not that it is separate from our interpersonal chaordic source that exists and acts on us, and on others from there, also in them, and at the same time also from without, from the inner formless permanence of nature, its constant emergence and change around us. Usually we are left out at a very young age, and with our fragile egos try to fend for ourselves in our attempts to face the sometimes violent psychic forces that are acting on it from every direction all the time. It is here a language for our inner attention, for our interpersonal presence, and psychic reflection has its greatest importance. Without it, we lose our humanity.

When we carefully observe and listen to ourselves, when we focus all our attention on our inner state of equilibrium, its equanimity, we find that the body is conveying sensations through our senses all the time that constantly pass our consciousness. Alongside them, we also discover the psychic impressions that end up in our consciousness in relation to something within us whose sources we can only imagine by how they affect us and we then try to formulate based on the overall influence they have. Unlike our bodily sensations, the psychic ones also have a content we can interact with when we wish. By directing attention to our observations of these contents and allowing them to be psychically reflected in their relation to events in our consciousness, we can then interpret them into more complex conceptions of their meaning and significance. Not only for ourselves but also based on their occurrence and origin as interpersonal forms of psychic impressions that together form a coherent structure and a living background we can approach in different layers beneath our consciousness. They also have their own time of maturity before we can reach them and they are perceptible to our consciousness because their availability depends on our participation and involves a psychic presence in our lives. They are what makes it possible for us to reach each other on several interpersonal levels when they are shared between us, in relation to the impressions they convey. At this level, the inner family and their ancestors are the first step towards a kind of psychic liberation. In the importance they have had for the relationship to our actual parents, to our larger family, and the representations we have had of them in a socially transmitted form. But if we are forced into this state before we are mature enough to be there, we panic. We cannot absorb the information we receive, or accept this meditative state within us. In being in its inner calm observing equilibrium. It will instead be distorted by our defenses and then form a second person within us, an oblivious and impulsive moody twin through which we live out the double standard it creates, which we will constantly face and struggle with both in us ourselves and also when we merge it with others in our external world. We will never know anything else. Or dare to question the influence, or the authority it has in its control over our lives. Both through ourselves and through the fact that we relieve ourselves psychologically from the the moral burden it entails by joining it with others. We will constantly run the risk of turning ourselves into psychically stuffed puppets and mouthpieces used by others to escape the moral burden of this personal inner duality if we unite it with the lives and ambitions of others. One aspect of our inner parental couple is motherhood in its cultural sense. It is up to her to create vessels for our inner person, for his ability to give expression to the inspiration that arises in our personal relationship to the source of the inner self-regulating whole. It is not up to the conventional double standards that arise when we align our impulsive and repressed twin or its alter ego with it.

It doesn’t matter where in time we were rejected from ourselves. By whom or which. As long as we continue with it in our lives and reintroduce it, it will always remain as something we are personally compelled to deal with, and make others have to too. In this way, our psychic discomfort, our anxieties and sufferings are no longer perceived as ours alone, as arising from our own life experiences, but as something else. Something we have to face emerging from elsewhere. We mostly observe it in its transferred form by identifying with what this is in others around us, in our outside world. Here we find our own inherited and unresolved interpersonal content reflected back on us as something we carry within us from many generations of descendants down to ourselves, as that within them which they could not allow themselves to come to terms with, or were forced to omit within them, which we must now face as something imposed upon us as a way towards both our own and their inner psychic reconciliation with what it is within ourselves. We can call it transmigration, or soul migration, when the same type of psychic processes recur in the same way over several generations. As if it is the same inner person that mediates its connection to nature’s own inner self-regulating union of opposites, disguised by the time it relates to, and its relation to being which is trying to come to terms with the relationship it has to the same inner conditions over and over again, and which has been passed down to us from our parents and theirs, in countless generations far back in psychic time based on the original events that once forced them to abandon it. It is still the same original being within us, and it is in this way that we have an inherited way of communicating with them based on the same underlying psychic structure that we carry within us, that all of them originally had before us as well. Alternatively, it can also be experienced as if it were a certain person whose inherited characteristics are recognized and perceived to have returned again to help both us and others when we are in psychological distress, so that we can reconnect and speak with the psychic properties and values ​​that this inner person was once forced to abandon. Because this connection can never be broken. We can aimlessly be drifting around, wandering around in our minds, and it can be abandoned and suppressed, but it does not cease to exist or disappear. Our psyche and its undercurrents are always there, until it finds the right frame of mind to reestablish itself again anywhere in time. And that will be a path that is given to all of us. If we are not driven completely out of our minds by our restless attempts to control the primeval psychic envoy’s that act upon us from within beyond the confines of our conventional reason.

I have sensed it but not quite grasped it before, that the origin of inspiration, its ‘spirit’, the sudden insight that advises us, guides us and teaches us throughout our lives, apart from being something we alternately receive in our exchange with its emergence in the content of the conscious knowledge of our time. What we pay attention to when it alternately involves itself in an external source material and it frees its own underlying perspective from its content, is something we also perceive as the underlying self-regulating order we experience everywhere in nature around us. That our inspiration shares its psychic source, its origin with what we also perceive as a cooperating factor and underlying inspirer in a whole that includes all larger and smaller ecological systems in our surrounding environment. Our psyche included as our embodiment of it. The inner movement and guided development which is embodied in all psychic life as what we perceive of it personally in a physical union with it. In its sudden influence upon us. Where body and mind becomes experienced as one, a non-duality. It is also what unites us with it as something we find everywhere, in everything, as a greater all-encompassing principle of life and its underlying governing factor in all of life. I have not really seen it as something fuelled by the underlying affective currents within us in a transferred sense before, manifested and materialized in external contexts. As the life principle that also draws us into it in a transferred form, both in people we look up to or idolize, in movements, knowledge-based contexts, in technology or in different cultures and the psychic content it forms in relation to people in them until now. But I have always perceived it in a duality. Partly as a lesser psychically personal and mercurial part mediating its relationship within us to an external, and more comprehensive, underlying guiding life principle in everything that we see and perceive everywhere around us. Consciousness in this sense turns itself into an empty vessel, as matter, ”mother” earth/nature or mass, embodiment without content. The vessel in which our ego observes and interacts with the individual forces nature provide us with, which we interact with, and relearn to deal with through our psychic reflection and our inner conversations with what it have to say. It is like a silent deliberation with an intangible mental activity that arises out of itself when everything else is still. The good advice and attitude that comes from being inspired by the power that accompanies the direct information it transmits to us, in Sami this nature-bound authority is called Rádienáhttje. Which appeals to us charged with its psychic ‘wind-nature’ directly through a kind of revelation or vision from places and states where we are especially susceptible to it. If he is completely unknown to us and only appears in a transferred form, as the habitual and general way of being and behaving by us being too adapted psychologically to our surroundings, he can be transformed into something completely different. Many will experience him as deep anxiety and worry in hopeless agony from which not many return, as we try to contain and control it with the ego and a fabricated personality. In this form he was formerly called Ruohtta. But released back into nature again, he is the free spirit who, without the weight of our conventions, inspires us, which gives us good advice and is the psychic activity which is the movement of nature in itself in our mind. The information we receive from the psychic energy, the fulfillment of the background instructions we experience and interpret as the currents behind all life as we know it. But most often, when our inspiration or spirit exists only in a forgotten, repressed, undeveloped and misunderstood form, on ideas and conceptions detached from it, it is not expressed by us with its original psychic properties, but in a violent and distorted form of an authority, or in the belief in authorities as a substitute for it to function as an indirect expression of what it is to us. So we support it in its transmitted form in others, as fixed and immutable ideas and perceptions, in what we cannot see as something alive and inspiring in ourselves. Much of what we call abuse and oppression in a physical and psychological sense we can derive from this in ourselves as something we constantly pass on and spread around us both intentionally and in the belief that we doing it out of our goodness. That is Ruohtta’s meaning both for us in ourselves and in our common contexts. He is an illness, a mental illness.

We enter our consciousness through our sensations. They in turn are shaped by an embodied underlying order that our experiences encounter when the content they are supplied with from within is blended with our lives. What comes from within here, are the individual and coordinated impressions of the pure and formless psychic processes we experience as life forms whose potentiality we use to describe our psychic influences with which arise from the oneness in all existence, that the universal and unchanging human being within us is part of. But there is another influence on the whole and undisturbed consciousness before that. A two-part experience of something that is both within us, but which also relates us to something that is mostly perceived as something that is outside of us. We move between them all the time. The two are initially one and the same because their relation to each other is what gives content to our sensations. For a man, it is something we first experience through women. They provide this duality within us with an external form that we embody and visualize through them. I think the concept of non-duality arose out of this experience. Which when misunderstood creates an ideal and emotional obsession. But it’s more like a collective name for the inner concentration and training we painstakingly go through to try to find our way to have a relationship with those within us. If I were completely patriarchal and insensitive to the psychic nuances of life, I would try to dismiss them as a nuisance. But for me it is more likely that they are those who involve me in my psychic life and who from there act as those who lead my inner person to that union of opposites, the guiding principle to which he is attached which becomes a balancing act, and a counterbalance to an excessively one-sided view of our inner person, and an overly abstract and ideal relationship to our consciousness. They provide our inner and outer life with substance, by us experiencing them, and clothe our sensations with energy and content as they alternately, and in co-existence, exchange our sensations between them which we then make conscious as we translate them into psychic life. The outer aspect of this duality is also that which embodies and embraces its inner self-organizing union of all life’s opposites as the guiding principle found in all life. It is like a psychic wedding, in a natural and indigenous sense, between nature within and all around us, and its inner guiding union with all that it is part of. But none of this would make any sense to me if I didn’t also have a relationship with my inner parents separated from my biological ones, and in their social, cultural psychic aspects. Because they are the means of realizing my inner person’s connectedness with others. It makes me able to go within.

There is a wonderful depiction of our psychic journey from ancient Egypt that describes the path we face within which I liken to the journey of Ra in his chariot and the path of consciousness back to its origin, into the darkness below, to the end of where it meets itself in its relation to life and against the background of its source, from which it originally arose, and the inherent center and self-regulating guiding principle of formless opposites that enclose it in an embodied experience of a whole. An experience that arises behind the description of our sensations that my consciousness relates to in order to become aware of itself. It’s a struggle with the pure unchanging psychic energies it encounters on its way back into life from below as an awakening. A rebirth with a different way of relating to oneself through our purified minds and through psychological reflection of a totality of which consciousness is a part. Where our observation to the within then again makes its journey across our psychic sky of consciousness, in to the light of its own constant renewal, guided on each side by the balance of life, its inner equilibrium, and on the other side by its insightful reflection with the self-regulating inner source as its ordering principle in the circular whole they constitute and at the same time are covered by. The surprising thing about our experiences is that they are made based on an underlying predetermined order. They usually appear spontaneously, as if experiences themselves have a fundamental way of shaping our conscious conceptions of them around something that was already there as they react with the content brought into our consciousness during our lives. A dream I had not long ago made me think of this. Because against the background of classical egyptian illustration of it, it takes on another meaningful context that relates all the beliefs we have to experiences we make that are usually not visible to us. Most of us will just come to the realization that the experiences we make that lie behind our ideas are in some way protected by copyright. That the very ability we use to give them form so that we can give content to our experiences is to prevent others from describing the same experience by other means. I naturally have another way of making the same perambulation by using the opening to it that it shows me when I’m out in nature. It can be almost anything. We will know it when we are provided with it. It feels different. As if we were drawn into something else. We suddenly feel relieved, calm and present in a bodily sense. It can be the mountains, an unusual natural formation of stones, a tree, a clearing in the forest, or a place that suddenly gives us a different attention than what is obvious in it. I’ve heard of other ways to accomplish the same thing, but I just go with what comes naturally to me. It is not something we impose on ourselves or others. It just happens, and almost at the same time it happens I notice that it’s happening to me. If I don’t listen to it and go into it, I get sick. In the same way that I see that many others around me are. In its own way, the presence this has given me has also protected me from completely losing myself to this disease.

I can think of nothing more horrible than reliving my own pain, what caused it, over and over again through the suffering I see in the world around me. To continuously produce them and relive my own impressions of them, all the time. By constantly using my own pain as a means of my participation in the outside world. Where nothing will ever change. I will only further contribute to it. As I try to move it away from me and relieve myself from it, to ease the psychological torment it creates within me through others. I see war, famine, abuse of people, animals and the nature around us as a way to ignore it within us and take it out on the world around us. Or to constantly dwell on them to keep them up within me by using others to do it for me. To make it be the connection I ignore or have lost with what constitutes my outer relation to the experiences of my inner person as it is in isolation from others and myself. Like I also try to push it aside by trying to create happiness and euphoria. It is the struggle for the connection to our primal unity we have left undone behind us, because we were once overpowered by people close to us and our world around us. So we deny ourselves to go back to its source because it forces us and others to reconsider what we really are and to dismantle the psychic defenses that prevent us from returning to it. Something we face within ourselves daily. What kind of life is that? On one occasion after six days of meditating, when my body and back hurt like hell from the habit of being in the same position so much and for very long stretches of time, gave me a pain that took over me completely. But just then, as I was about to give in completely to the pain that overwhelmed me, it hit me. My pain was a bodily sensation just like any other type of sensation my body conveys. Whether I experience them as psychic events or physical. They are all something I observe against this unchanging calm background that my awareness of them constitutes. They do not change the fundamental condition from which I experience them. They are perceptions of events I observe based on that. If I allow myself to be all that arises there, if I identify with them, then I will know of nothing but each momentary feeling or experience I observe as something I take over in its place. I will become them and I will completely loose my balance, my person within me, and I will become undeveloped impulsive and instinctive like a child. So I did as I had done until then, I let the sensations pass, and focused on my underlying primal state of equilibrium, and on my breath. The pain faded away and disappeared. I experienced an inner liberation and a powerful invigorating psychic energy that came in its place. I knew something now that I had not experienced in this context before. Only during physical trials incurred during sojourns in the wilderness. But this was not something I could physically overcome by getting through it on those terms. This was something else. Much more pervasive. My inner relationship to my sensations, as the content of my consciousness, that events within me created there in relation to the background that constitutes the underlying holistic sense of unity that the ego, through my inner person, relates to. From slowly losing my posture, and collapsing in pain, I now reached up and regained my original posture. I made my way through the sensations’ embodiment of psychic content and found myself again in the observing background of concentrated equanimity in the sense of this background oneness in all existence. Of being enfolded in that experience which is nonactive, unchanging, eternal, and pure. In this way, even our spontaneity and impulsiveness take on another, deeper meaning. Far from the naive undeveloped destructiveness it usually expresses as the horrors we see repeated in the world around us. Instead, it will teach us something. Both about ourselves and as something we have within us in its relation to what it is in everything else too.

One thing that has become increasingly clear to me in relation to our inner objective center, our inner singularity and its union of opposites in its relation to the various states of the attractors that surround it, and the structure they together form which constitutes the experiential basis of what we call imagination, our beliefs and how we interpret them in relation to their psychic origins which we then transform in a conceptual sense into our life. Is that to varying degrees we actively observe and participate in them with our inner person. Sometimes we are psychically reflective, sometimes it is they who inspire us to act on their behalf, but most of the time this content passes by without us even noticing that this content creates patterns that configure the energy of the underlying psychic content, that they do not have the habitual content that constitutes the way of thinking we have adopted about them, which we then also transfer to the world around us. None of this is in their origin but is something we add to them in psychological statements that values opposite expressions as not equal or dualistic and not as if they are of the same thing in origin. Or in different states of it. Which is also how we refer to the objective structural whole they together form of the psychic background that constantly renews and recreates itself when we interpret them in ever new versions of the impressions that arise when we interact with them. It is like a transcription of the underlying psychic energy where we through equations, the equanimous or balanced mind, mathematically or otherwise try to perceive the mutual experience of it both in a symbolic and in a transferred form by its biochemical and material processes. I have been aware of this more or less attentively throughout my life, and interacted with it in its raw unprocessed psychic forms when this has variously called my attention. Even when those around me did not understand what it was that made me act or behave in a way that was not desirable to them. That it could be something that they could also come to terms with as existing within them as well. The inner attention that comes out of seclusion is not generally appreciated as something we should pursue to any great extent. Hence the inquietude we experience everywhere around us. Instead of appreciating that all forms of inner participation, and observation is an active form of imagination, and not limit ourselvesus in awareness to the external use of thinking in a productive sense alone. It is a living reality as well. Realizing that there is something terribly obsessive about the one-sided way of only using one function in relation to our minds. In relation to that imaginative something that belongs to life itself, experientially.

We are often involved in three kinds, or levels of mercurial beings in our initial experience of life as a duality. First there is the figure of the rascal, the fool within us, who is harmless but also naïve. He comes to our aid when we are not yet able or mature enough to confront the psychic energy underlying our reality. Then we have the trickster. The breaker of rules and the one always crossing our conceptual boundaries of definition in which we try to confine them. He questions the rigid boundaries of society and calls into question our fundamental assumptions about the way the world is organized. He has discovered the existence of this threshold in life, and use it to his personal benefit. If the fool is more of a personal and childish nature, the trickster is of collective origin. Then we have the terrifying dark one. The shadow figure of my dreams. The true initiator of our psychic reality, of its visibility and the embodiment of its intense moral testing. In contrast to the others, he is always absolutely serious. We identify ourselves with either one of them from time to time, learning about them in relation to our life as we come about to express them. But this petrifying one, and the horrible anxiety he provokes in our resistence to his psychic occurence in us, its annihilating directness, and our rejection of the humility his presence invokes, is something else. Most people prefer to let the first two loose, since they are generally more accepted, and become engulfed in self-pityness and cling themselves to the surface of the world instead of accepting this third one’s reality in us, and never really acknowledge that something else also speaks to us from within and below, with the intention of being absolutely serious about our psychic reality. Inner pairs of opposites that simultaneously appear together with them are, for example, the saint and the villain, the martyr and the savior, when we try to come to terms with our humility and our basic human condition in the face of these psychic forces and their influence on our minds. If we completely reject the presence of this primordial dark one. We will lack content. We are humans but we lack being. There is nothing to relate to in us or in people around us. We don’t have the ability to experience it yet. It is easy to become cognitively disfigured by habitually adapting to the world and its lack of psychic depth in relation to people and to our nature when we are still children and dependent on the practical and emotional support of our inner parents, in their relation to our surroundings. But on the other hand, if we identify ourselves with the inviolability he represents, we become excessively realistic. Which forces us to be able to absorb the experiences we encounter but without the inner structure we need to be able to process its content, and the meaning he brings to us in an embodied sense of the underlying reality by forcing us to confront him as something primordial of our psychic existence.

There exists this overwhelmingly intense source of energy that we relate to within us as something incredibly burdensome to our senses. It can create such pressure on us that if we take on its influence as if it were something we created, it crushes us. We will perish from its colossal weight upon us. Of the anxiety and confusion it initially creates when we have become psychologically mature enough to perceive it. The most natural thing, of course, is that we try to get rid of it. But without receiving guidance and being able to recognize it for what it is in relation to us, we make it something we don’t want to know about in ourselves, in others, for them to face for us so that we can avoid it in ourselves. So we blame someone else for all the raw and onerous psychic energy that it reminds us of, of our own relationship with what it is within ourselves and what we can’t deal with yet. All that then becomes an undesirable agony in relation to what it means for our relationship to our psyche, and an opposite to how we instead choose to see ourselves when we interact with that which we like to be in our mass-mindedness with others when we reject the humility this indomitable force working within us seeks to enlighten us with. We stand at a crossroad of moral obligation to find a way to come to terms with the influence of this primordial dark psychic force within us. Our world depends on it. If we don’t find a way to acknowledge its influence as something real from our psychic world, the resistance we and others have to it will then instead spread around us in a way that makes both us and others reluctant recipients of it, because our only contact with what it is is then only obtained by blaming it on others so we can escape from it, escape from its terrible weight, and the intense sufferings built up within us by the overwhelming sense of anxiety this creates. In the end, however, it always catches up with us. Be it through disease, medication, alcohol or drugs. Destruction of our nature, polluted air, water shortages and environmental disasters. Or us just becoming odd and deviant from the generally accepted way of being and path in life. It is always about this something we reject from our psychic world, from that which we can only experience, what we almost cannot describe. Which we cannot reach by rational means. But only with derivations to similar experiences. By psychic reflection and with concepts and a symbolism that still contains psychic energy, which give insight, meaning and authenticity in down-to-earth personally contexts.

I think I met Ruohtta for the first time at the age of ten or eleven in a fever dream that was as real as everything else around me. In the darkness that enveloped the place I was in the dream, a door suddenly opened in front of me. The entire doorway was filled with a light emanating from the space behind the door. Through it entered a black silhouetted figure of a man whose human features I could not make out. A shadow who then charged towards me where I lay while my clothes danced about the room, and I wake up in terror of him. Before that, his presence was nothing I had encountered before. Because I was not yet ready to leave my blissful original state of consciousness. I had unknowingly observed him around me though, and received word of his presence in a covert manner for my protection. But he then came about several times later during my teenage years. Most often with a feeling of absolute emptiness, as if I were standing on the edge of a nothingness inside of me and staring into something completely empty, into the realm of the dead. Of death itself. It filled me with an inner desolation and vulnerability that I didn’t know how to face. Now I realize that it meant that the paradisiacal sense of the oneness of everything in the whole that I psychically related to in its outer space was about to be seriously challenged. I managed to keep him at distance from me until I was about twenty-eight. Then it didn’t work anymore and I was forced to let it all in. In connection with this, I also had a another dream about the same dark being who came and knocked violently on the door of the small cabin I was physically in at that time out in the country. This time I woke up from the dream because I opened the door myself. Since then I have met him countless of times. At first I just wanted to get rid of his presence as it was such a burden to me. Not wanting to feel any of that burdon if it that was not mine, I forcefully kept on pushing that away from me. When he showed up with others, I immediately rejected him. I could somewhat stand up to him in myself, but for a long time not at all in others. I violently resisted him there. Over time, I have been able to hold him closer and closer to me, and really observe how his presence affects me. Now I see that he is really not evil. Though his powerful presence is always overwhelming. Evil comes from ignorance. Even as he turns up in others. Because he opens us up to the dualism it means that brings symbolic content to our experiences. He separates us from the first one-sided parental controlled sense of a whole and provide our consciousness with an opening to our experiential psychic content. At worst, we reject him by despising something we cannot accept in ourselves, as it is questioning our blissful parental influented state, which we then transfer to him in others. Since he overwhelms us with his dual presence. Which can help us let go. Its still a feeling of losing balance and touch with our reality. But what it really does is that it disconnects us from the first immature psychic connection to life, and without the innate structure of the larger psychic sense of the whole being clear enough, and on the threshold between naive identification and conscious observation, he forces us to face it spontaneously. Openly, unadulterated, with our direct experience, without any intellectual interference of what feels genuine and morally true. In that way, it is he who forces us to establish the relationship with our psychic atmosphere, with Sáivu, and what affects us from there. Instead of him just being associated with our inner difficulties, he is the one trying to keep us from being distracted from the emerging greater whole of which he is also a part. But leaving the original paradisiacal order involves incredibly intense anxiety and worry. It is what our natural fear and vulnerability do to us when we are going through a change of some sort. It has nothing to do with him. He is the one who brings our self-contained congenital psychic energies back to their original sources. The feeling of being torn apart by his pet wolf, of being separated from the immature autonomy of the psychic realm and our instincts, and experiencing this confrontation within us, our dual nature, both instinctive and symbolic in a psychic sense, instead of diabolical, transforms his wolf into an important companion. He’s sometimes terrifying presence make the psychic realm of life absolutely real.

We enter our psychic atmosphere, into Sáivu, into the encounter with it, by acknowledging it through our contrasexuality in many different guises. If we do, we experience the opening, the inner splitting, the separation, our dual nature, before we are put to the test of our psychic courage. If we persevere, she in the form of a maiden will co-exist with the great mother, mother earth, our sense of being down to earth, being physically part of it, will show our inner maturing person, the youngling, the way to his original connection to the guiding principle that is at the center of the vessel she embodies, in everything, everywhere. It is the psychic atmosphere we call Sáivu. Where we meet and coexist with our inner family and all the objective psychic elements we have a dialogue with there. We call it reflecting when we interact with them and we are there as active participants in what is happening. Most people dismiss it as if it doesn’t exist, as old notions with no meaning for us here and now. Until it makes us feel worry and anxiety just from the impressions its presence creates in and around us. I think it was Sáivu Jung was referring to when he talked about active imagination and about synchronicity. As the structural basis of our psyche and as a kind of psychic attitude this atmosphere creates in relation to life and to which he referred. I think he tried to make us relate our experiences not only to the content and background of our activity and the events in our lives. But also as the content that makes up our entire literary treasure, which in different ways illustrates this influence on us in words and images. If this connection to sáivu is broken or not yet developed, we are often forced to mature prematurely. Our parents’ and society’s one-sided attitude towards it, or life’s difficulties can then force us to become excessively realistic, independent and disillusioned. A biting and falsely mature expression without any secure feeling for one’s own embodiment which constantly shows us that something essential is missing. The experience of being able to embrace it and integrate it, and to be a vessel for it within ourselves, for the self-regulating center through which it is then also contained by nature itself. Traditional Australian Aborigines have a respectful way of maintaining attention to this duality also with others. “The intelligible world, yuti, is conceptually synonymous with truth and reality, mularrpa the whole universe and the whole of aboriginal experience is divided by this polarity yuti/mularrpa), the intelligible truth and tjukurrtjana, the dream time (the psychic atmosphere, Sáivu). The two modes of thought are equal but mutually exclusive, so that if one returns to the others and joins a group in the middle of a conversation, that person immediately asks if they speak yuti/mularrpa or tjukarrtjana. This polarity is not static. People, laws, customs, and animals, are said to have originated in the Dreamtime(Sáivu), along with the creative titans, and gigantic beings(we experience them as indisputable and inviolable). – Robert Lowler, Voices of the first day [266]”. Unaware that we are constantly doing this with others, oscillating between this existence and the interpersonal Sáivu, make us idealize people and things and give them a meaning they can never live up to because we bring to them something that belongs to the inhabitants of Sáivu alone. We experience a feeling of authenticity and completeness when they are close, and comes from the influence they have on us. As objective psychic entities they lack the faults and shortcomings that belong to man, because they are complete in themselves, in what they are as Sáivu beings. We lose our human context and inner relationship to the psychic atmosphere that inspires us to mature psychically and consciously participate in our relationship to the powerful personal figures we interact with there. We idolize when we invigorate existing people with their energy. Or turn into megalomaniacs if we identify ourselves with its intensity. In this case, the person within us has no contact with our inner voice and guiding principle in its relation to our conscious content, but repeats the existing body of knowledge self-servingly and idealizes its content as the needs of the ego alone. Without observing the coexistence created by the psyche when it acts as a vessel in relation to both us and others, and we simultaneously enter its atmosphere from where it interacts with us as a union from within nature itself and its own independent psychic logic, with its externally processed conceptual opposites.
It is also obvious from this point of view, that when we die, our ’spirits’ live on as ancestors and that will matter to those who come after us. If we have sincerely processed and lived it as the inner context handed down to us. What we do in our inner lives will then create the psychological conditions we leave behind for others to process in themselves. This relationship to our psychic atmosphere is what remains and shapes how we then relate to ourselves and to our world. It is what haunts us all on our way into life and in raw form, usually completely unprocessed in our ignorance and psychologically naive bliss which we take with us into the next. I think this is what soul migration, or psychic heritage, our spiritual attitude, in human terms is all about. It makes the world what it is.

In the midst of us, in that center we experience within us as the greater sense of psychic wholeness that also surrounds us, is the self-organizing source that coordinates all the individual parts of the psychic structure that this formulates as a union within us. It is the same source we also discover everywhere around us in our background experience of the nature we are involved in. In the interaction of everything with each other. In each tree’s own ecological system. In all the varied roles that life has created in its different environments. In every landscape that finds its way to unite with us from within as we participate with this underlying psychic togetherness in all its parts. We experience this guiding background principle not only within us but also all around us. Its various parts invite us and inspire us as the energy we use in our lives. This togetherness is as terrifying as it is the one that embraces us and makes us whole. How we choose to face it is what will also define whether we participate in ourselves with a peace of mind, and whether we can share the qualities of that nature in its individuality with others. It is like returning as a mature being to who we were when we first entered and experienced ourselves in this whole, in its innocent, unreserved, curious and uncorrupted relation to all its internal parts. Before we were led astray.

Through reflection, we discover that our life experiences are on a spectrum. From the raw and unprocessed nature of the instinctive and impulsive, to the insightful imaginative psychic life we ​​express when we perceive all life as nature in a psychic sense, and that this nature as psyche creates vessels in everything, everywhere all the time by going within. At one end of our experiences we are completely identical to them, at the other they take on a separate existence. We suddenly discover at some point in our lives that they have an inner meaning to us and that we have to find a way to coexist with both extremes because we are torn between them. We can’t just replace one end of them with the other. It doesn’t work anymore. So we begin to reflect and try to connect them with each other. We discover that in our minds there is an invisible balance, a silent equilibrium that gives us access to ourselves and to the center that exists in this all-encompassing wholeness that unites all the opposites we struggle with in all parts of this spectrum. It also unites us with everyone else who is somewhere on this path between our direct experience and the unknown other that emerges by itself as we wrestle with our inner contradictions and reflect on what they mean to us. We can’t just live anymore, and follow along, it has to be real and feel authentic.

A balance with an even mind. In union with its opposites. To give others access to it in itself, in themselves, without our interference. To be it by example. For others to trust that it, and what happens and arises within them is something that belongs to them, for them to be with and cultivate. To face alone in themselves whatever takes place there, and trust the process behind it. A feeling of safety and care in the midst of others, of their beingness in themselves. To be relieved from the intrusions and psychic abuses of others. Of being there and being able to share it. To be and to mentally mature in noble silence. Despite the fact that almost everything in our time questions this personal foundation within us all the time. It is a quality we should affirm, observe and express in participation with all psychic life. But not something we should identify with because it then establish itself as an opposite to the content of our consciousness. Making it something that we have to dismiss or blame ourselves for, or transfer on to others as our impurity in them because of the discomfort and vulnerability it creates. We may even begin to reject the psychic impressions we have that are conditioned by our ordinary human psychic qualities in the process of meditating on them, if we do not communicate with our maturation process naturally based on our personal disposition. This is where we really are, where being really matters, and where we experience how degrading it is to others when we are conditioned to neglect it in ourselves, and we also discover how devastating it can be to dismiss what goes on inside of us as empty sense impressions. It is an experience that has repeated itself in every individual since the dawn of man, and therefore expresses a universal concern, and the rejection of which we find within ourselves behind all the news conveyed to us from the world around us.

When we are in the equanimity of mind, an extended sense of general balance and harmony, in the direct experience of the surrounding greater state of beingness our psyche communicates with and is a part of, it also becomes clear how we abandon it for abstract concepts and ideas. Like children, we learn to follow whatever psychic products that spontaneously appear within us without also learning to observe our impressions of them, the experiences of what they are and mean to us in our interaction with our personal psychological context, and its relationship to nature as the whole from which we experience our own unique personal participation in its widest sense. When we then relate to them, without also paying attention to their original source, it becomes obvious that in their transferred form, they lack human content. We follow every vagary without being able to see this wholeness as something also in others around us because it is too painful to go back to it and experience what made us once abandon it. We turn into psychopaths but only see it in others. We do not see what we ourselves are doing in the absence of an understanding of what this abuse meant for ourselves and what this then means for others. What defensive psychic mechanisms we replaced our vulnerability with. Intellectually speaking, it is impossible to comprehend the suffering it can bring to the one for whom our interaction with a wounded connection to the whole is when it is also in a direct conflict with the content that spontaneously emerges from it. Private companies, government agencies and organizations of various kinds, do not feel anything. They do not experience sadness, pain, mental or physical suffering. They have no human experience of that kind. On the contrary, they are completely ignorent and unaware of them. They completely lack the ability to experience what a sense of wholeness means for a person, its relation to Nature, or to animals, because they are an abstract psychological product that lacks human experience. In that sense, and in the absence of adults, psychologically mature and real people, they will instead, together with those who mentally surrender themselves to these companies, authorities and organizations, have a deformed connection to it. Together, they begin to behave like psychopaths. As quote, “a personality construct characterized by impaired empathy and remorse, and bold, disinhibited and egocentric traits masked by superficial charm, and in the outward appearance of apparent normalcy, they are having an egocentric and antisocial personality marked by a lack of remorse for one’s actions, an absence of empathy for others, and often criminal tendencies”, end quote. As mere followers, it is what we do through someone or something else, to people and the community that surrounds us, to Nature herself, that is then what we get back from what we ourselves have given to them. Our relationship with land is not a country or a province, but it is the land itself, the earth from within. In its connection to our mind and the calm state of balance we feel in our psyche’s co-existing union with it.

We cling to our parents’ concerns as if they were our own person, because it is their concerns that we once took care of, which then came to determine what we then allow ourselves to see in ourselves or what we can do. We can call it our constant bad conscience. As adults, this is most often distorted and never dealt with. Instead, we turn it into double standards.

When we come home after work, or when we leave the contexts of our external roles towards others that we play out for ourselves in front of them on a daily basis, we instead end up face to face with the person within us in the place where we are completely encompassed by the experience of a human wholeness. And the ancient spiritual masks that our inner person has used to express the diversity of our being throughout the ages. Together they form a suggestive cover around it to protect us from the forces that threaten to dissolve our sense of it, and acknowledge and give expression to our psychic existence as well. Because they are the only ones that remain when we step out of the role we play in our outer world. Those closest to us will then have to face the primeval masks that have been inside of us all along. In the absence of the habitual role we play outwardly in relation to our inner parents’, they now take over because we are most often not yet ready, or mature enough, to put up with our inner equanimity, or accept the peace of mind necessary where we can calmly deal with the silent state of the psychic discussion we find ourselves in or fall into. Instead we begin to identify ourselves with the psychic agents and spiritual faces that lay dormant there. Behind our externally played persona and the seductive meaning it deceives us with. We begin to play roles from our timeless psyche that the person within us have acted out against other people throughout all ages. But way back they were contained in ritual contexts to prevent their otherwise divisive influence on our human contexts. Without this understanding of what they mean to us, they become destructive to us as we become them, and lose ourselves in the power and energy that their influence has upon us. Temporarily we are no longer ourselves. Or humans as long as we channels the intensity of the identification we have with them. We have descended into, and returned to the place of our true being, and we encounter these masks as a kind of reversed view of a persona. Because they are the spiritual portraits we use to express ourselves invardly, as protectors of the psychic world of beingness. The masks are provided with the background energy they convey. They serve us in the sense of making us aware of our personal relationship to the original whole. Behind the mask we temporarily leave it and identify with the form of their suprapersonal nature. We lose our humanity to give vent to the compensation needed to restore a distorted or lost relationship to our experience of the greater whole we are a part of with others on a personal level in our external environment. As if surrounded by the suffocating sense of a too strict and conventional virtue, of its too general or saintly ideals, the mask will then be provoked to be filled with the energy of the rebel, the critic or the scoundrel, or the other way around. Likewise, if the social pressure is perceived personally, as a suffering that compels, or diverts us from our part of the whole we share with others in our own individual way, because we perceive others’ concern for their loss as our own, then the masks may begin to act as a martyr or savior to compensate for it, which is what the mask is trying to teach us with them. We suffer from having lost our connection to the original whole. But the most common one to provoke us to abandon our inner wholeness today, by creating inferiority and an experience that nothing is ever enough ​​in its presence, is the self-absorbed, all-knowing, grandiose, distanced omniscient one. Impregnable with perfectionist notions. But it is also showing us that we need to become more down-to-earth, paying attention to the primordial whole in its down-to-earth personal aspects. This mask’s attitude is usually offset by the energy in the mask of the prankster or buffoon. And in a sense of being questioned or mortified. By transferring their energy onto others, we become exposed to their opposite in ourselves. We make them what we don’t want to be caught with ourselves. Identifying with our primordial psychic masks causes us to try to replace the psychic balance of others with the energy and attitude of the experience the mask evokes. Not by being an example of our own relation and experience of the original whole, but replacing it by making them an external counterpart, a psychic reflection, acting out how we compensate for our loss by using others as proxy’s for our interaction with the energy behind the mask’s. We make others part of the conflict between us and ourselves when the masks exhibit the ongoing conflicts that arise within our own person between the original whole and the society that surrounds us as human beings in groups, when the majority unconsciously acts as a proxy for the individual.

It feels self-evident to be involved in the relationship between my psychic existence and the nature outside me as if they were the same thing. Portraying them as different aspects of nature itself within me. Even if they aren’t. But something within me does it for me, depicting them as in a daughter-like relationship to the motherly expanse of the earth itself. Of my own psyche in an alternating, and co-existing participation to its own external larger context. We can see the maiden psyche permeating our society all around us, but without its true connection to earth and the wisdom this natural maturity gives back to her. I have had it explained to me in a number of different ways without actually being able to apply what was said to my direct personal experience, to me they have a deeper human meaning than the purely descriptive ones. That behind the words there is a living experiential relationship to their meaning. I have had it inside me all my life without anyone around me daring to put it in its proper context. For protection and for the fear that it would question the conventional attitude that prevails between people in our society, and the inner distance most of them have in relation to our nature. Both within us and outside of us. At the same time, our older view of this interaction between our inner self and the living environment we encounter in it has been devalued. It is still there, but must not be portrayed in the old way. As if we have a personal relationship with them, we have them at the risk of being ridiculed. So separating ourselves from our experiences is something we should prefer to having them, and then replacing them with exaggerated general explanations and concepts without them having a direct experiential impact and meaning for us. But to not portray our direct experiences, to affirm their influence on us, is to cognitively distort or not perceive our participation in what happens between us and ourselves in an external sense. We will just get lost in our minds.

A small number of people throughout the ages have taught themselves, and then others, the importance of not being distracted or distracting others in a way that causes us to lose the presence of our inner coherent experience of an outer all-encompassing whole. Of their co-existence within us. Where I also see similarities in the depiction and portraying of our inner experiences between both the maiden Rádien Niejta in her relationship with Rádienáhkká, as with Kore in hers with Demeter. Like Kore, Radien Niejta has another aspect that deals with her role as the one who opens us up to our objective psychic qualities. Part of this is the potential that lies dormant in Jáhbmeaimo, underneath the life of our personal outer world. When she opens us up to this in the role of Saivo Niejta, we often see it as ending up in a darkness, in the underworld. An unknown potential other, where our usual way of functioning is no longer useful. We have to adapt and change, and trust her to get us out of there. If we completely ignore her, we will experience the avenging and suffocating power of Jahbmeáhkká, and ultimately end up unprepared and without her assistance even deeper into the objective psyche, into Ruohtta. In to the sense of the maddening experience of despair and shere meaninglessness, in total hopelessness. From which few return. He is not a demon, or a devil of some kind, but an objective inner part of our psyche that carries the inhuman pressure we feel of being drained of all lifes energy. Of having a sense of being inadequate, separated from the all-encompassing whole. The experience of feeling rejected for who we are, in ourselves independently of social norms and conventions. He is the one who brings that energy back to its original source. She is the maturing individual maiden psyche in relation to the universal self-organizing source of wisdom that is life within as it is, and the experience of a wholeness this constitutes with Mother Earth. And that this also means that we will have to go through intense and difficult inner trials to learn not to lose the psychological equanimity it rests on. As children we are it, and we are identical with all that appears in it. Whether they arise from within or from without. But regardless of where they come from, they arise against a background of being with impressions that act within the experience of a larger whole. If we are deprived of it, through its distortion by those who exercise their influence over us, then our own basic cognitive ability is similarly destroyed together with the relationship it forms to ourselves, to others and the world around us. We will neither be able to see ourselves nor others against the background of the psychic balance of mind that this belonging implies. We will make our fragmented impressions into those of others without being able to distinguish their psychic experiences from our own, since our own experience of the greater whole is not separated from theirs in a way that makes what appears in it belong to ourselves independent of others’ experiences in it. We make our own inner division and anxiety that of others and demand a self-control from them that we cannot maintain in ourselves, and that relate not to how we and others are but to how they should be. We then exaggerate a far too general way of looking at ourselves, our mental and physical conditions, with perfectionistic ideals that make us inhuman and which do not belong to life itself. Or to our own individual conditions and the qualities they provide for us. We end up everywhere in everything, and everyone around us. Not knowing where our experiences end and others’ begin. We only experience confusion there along with our inner person. Instead, against the background of our relationship to the experience of this whole, and in equinimity, develop it in a deep community and true belonging to both it, and its relationship to our family in the environment in which we are located. Something that nothing in what we do with our current societies can provide our inner person with, before we get into it in ourselves, and do not distract in others. As mature human beings, we should first relieve others of the burden of portraying objective psychic qualities we possess and interact with within ourselves, by being reliable examples of a coexistence with the all-encompassing whole, before others can do so for themselves. Everyone goes through it in their own way, trying to find the language, words and terms that best describe our own experiences. Although no description is our experience in itself. Sometimes it may even already be at hand without us knowing we had it within us. But it always manifests itself to us because we trust and follow the guidance that comes to us from our objective psyche as we begin to observe and interact with the influence it has on us.