the external influence my psychic world has on me, is determined by your victim ego’s

If we take on the victim role which make us victims in our relationships, either bodily – physical or in a material sense, or in that something we also transfer onto others as our psychic reflection, then we will never discover a kind of inner reality or psychic entity that historically has been called soul. Its female qualities or its counterpart, the activity of reflection or presence of beingness, in history called spirit. The “soul” part of us, which without us really being able to control it is constantly transferred to the opposite sex. What we separate out from us in the victim role in our own sex, we also transfer in the same way, but to a counterpart of our own gender. We discover the roles we disguised ourselves in to hide our victimhood. But beyond them the differences between us in the transference of our psychic reflection suddenly appear in a renewed way in our relationships. We suddenly have to choose how that transfer will take place. In which way we prefer to bridge our differences, both physically and psychically in our relation to our selves. So we dress them up in a context that can be accepted by others, outside of the victim role to express our relationship to our inner reality on terms common to all. Something that our victim ego can never accept, and that the victim role of others constantly tries to drag us out of and into.
To both my surprise and dismay, most of us seem to prefer to hide in the victimrole. Relationships are not both a physical and a psychical working reality. Or a mutual transference of spontaneous ideas and concepts, of sympathetic expressions of our instincts and feelings. Or a disciplined anger when we feel that someone is trying to provoke us into our victim ego. We seem to prefer living as victims. Politically, we do not do what must be done for others and for those who need it. Instead we make ourselves victims of other people’s opinions in a discordant version of us. From what we have separated out for ourselves. Our independent individuality does not include emotional dependencies, of genuine feelings and true closeness. One religion makes itself a victim of other psychic references and takes it out on it. We make ourselves victims of our bodies, our sexuality, our minds and how we transform psyke into life. Our own victimization creates the conspiratorial thought we transfer to an enemy of our own making, which creates sufferings in its limitation and abuse of others. We don’t do what is right, only what our victim-role dependency conspire us to do. Because we have excluded what the victim ego does not want to know about the role it plays in all our relationships. Both in our personal, intersubjective, and social life. We just prefer to be victims of the opposites of whatever personal conviction we are campaigning for. Because it creates a feeling of being invulnerable and inaccessible in our perfectionist view of ourselves and our ideals. As if it were something dangerous to be an empathetic person on several human levels.
For a long time in my life, I believed that the world was something that was only outside, not one layer of my inner personal connection to a reality of consciousness, where my interior was also a reality of other people in me, or that I was an influence on them in that reality which lied beyond the within in me in them, and that I somehow also was the others within me in theirs without. That we influenced each other there.
I was wrong then. My own victim-ego reveals that to me.