My father did not know about it because he dismissed it as impractical for him in his rational conditioning to his environment and in his line of work from early adulthood. It goes way back in the northern parts of Sweden. But it hasn’t always been that way. I understood intuitively that the way he shared the relationship to his world with others and with me, constantly related to parts of our collective consciousness as if they were that content, but in fact it was constantly his and their way of trying to capture and incorporate his inspiration, an older conceptualization of it, into their psychic environment, as the content of the psychic energy inherent in it when it formulated his contact with the underlying whole and its content which he mistook for his ego. As a bystander to, or substitute for those he encountered within himself, neither I nor anyone else could replace them or provide him with what he unconsciously sought in these encounters, least of all when I was a child or if it was anyone else who had not yet undergone these experiences themselves and understood their meaning, what they mean to us. No one could. In this way, Máderáhttje, our inner father figure and mediator of the cultural part our relation to the ’spirit’ and living principle of the collective consciousness became lost for him and distorted into something else. Obviously we do not learn from them how we ourselves should relate to our psychic energy, to our inner person and the content he conveys independently of others. How we could be a vessel for it and to allow the compassion of Máttaráhkká embrace it and become a container for our inner person and the fragmentation this entails. To interact with it without confusing ourselves with its energy and transferring it onto others. Which makes it a psychic theme we live in and compel people around us to participate in. When that is the case, it becomes difficult to simultaneously also participate in the practical reality that surrounds us independently of this psychic content. Its reality with manifest responsibilities, its tasks and expectations in themselves outside of the psychic theme that provides us with its own inner reality. Fortunately for some, they have had grandparents and great grandparents who were mysteriously connected and respected for embodying this invisible content, who, by example, created the reassurance needed for others to face it in themselves. But what is evident to me these days is that I see this theme, what there is of this in myself, and then I read it into others as if it were something in them. Which it may or may not be but something I cannot experience for anyone else. Nor can I create the experience I have of it for them. It doesn’t matter how much I try to prove it to someone else if they haven’t experienced it themselves. It accomplishes nothing. We cannot get to it in that way. We always have to find it out for ourselves. Alone. In nature or in places that promote the participation from the psychic realm in our meditative self-inspection.