There is a place of emptiness I feared earlier in my life. A place beyond the constant stream of sensations, thoughts and feelings that arise from their own sources against this background, which is not really empty but calm, which collects them in a sense of a totality and returns the energy that leads them, back to their original sources. Which means that this whole becomes a state of emptiness and serenity beyond the psychic flow we are otherwise constantly a part of. It’s as if our senses no longer work there. It will just be solitude within ourselves. But filled with the stillness and calmness that now arises within us. When I was young, I felt uncomfortable here with others. But mentally and physically united in a deep communion with the nature around me. It was also where I found a community with it because I didn’t know how it could be shared with others. I could be in it alone for long stretches of time without feeling embarrassed or else just doing things that other’s did to keep it at bay so it wouldn’t be so pronounced inside me. I later understood that there was nothing wrong with me. That my anxiety and shyness were not mine to begin with. But reactions from others around me that I connected with my own experiences. It gave me such authenticity and participation with Nature that I constantly sought to return to it. To that within us that so few wanted to get close to. But which I needed for my mental hygiene. I think it is from here that we derive two mutually opposite activities of the same state. One is allowing ourselves to be absorbed by our sensations, and the other a rejection of it by putting ourselves into constant activity when we cannot, or do not yet have the ability to go to the quiet inner preconscious state of mind where our senses cease to function, and perceive where other human psychic experiences take precedence.