Many years ago, in a relationship I was involved in, I came to profoundly experience the concept of transference on a deeply personal level. Which I couldnt have done without it. It turned my sensations into a self-inspecting tool. I had an intense affection for my partner, but unexpectedly, and as a disturbance to my inner balance, that same affection was also in itself, independently of me, turned elsewhere on to someone else. It appeared spontaneously and impulsively, completely outside my conscious control, which made it extremely powerful when the transference was at the same time also mixed with sexuality. Something that is later on no longer an essential part of the equation, but a sensation among others, unless we are exposed to a very prolonged psychological immaturity. The moment I became aware of this, the affection seemed to return to me, transforming back into something that was unmistakably ’mine’. It was as if I had previously allowed that energy to be contained by another person, and now, it had come back to its rightful origin within me as a sensation I profoundly experienced and observed physically in my body, but detached as a sensation in it own right by my inner person. This realization brought about a fundamental change in how I related to my interior psychic life, to women, and it also opened up a new dimension within me where I came to understand something more about my own genders relation to it too in a cultural way, one that had been hidden from me until then. Recently, while in a deep meditative state, this experience resurfaced, bringing with it new insights. In this state of attentive observation, the experience was placed in a new context for me, one that was perceived objectively by my senses. I began to see how I navigate the relationship between mind and body at the level of sensation, entirely independent of any physical or manifest conscious reality. It became evident that this was a relationship between my sensations, both psychic, and body sensations, as an interplay between them happening entirely within my own person. I realized, once again, how my body had been responding to my sensory impressions as if they were contained in something or someone else, as if these sensations and the energy following them were external forces beyond my own inner being. Something that happens when we either identify with our mental sensations or the bodily ones. But not both. I had obviously been quite blind to their true origin within me. Before this experience, these psychic impressions were projected outward, embodied in someone or something else, separated from their connection to my conceptualisation of them, as selected parts of the content of the spirit of our age, or its aggregate cross-section of consciousness and experienced as if they had an existence outside of my mind. Now, in this deeper meditative space, I understood that the senses are meant to realize and manifest its content as consciousness and an embodied experience of the world. My mind’s sensations are always linked to the body, just as the body’s sensations are always tied to the mind. By perceiving and observing them together in this way, I could now fully appreciate the wholeness they brought me into, and be in both mentally and physically. In this self-reflective meditative state, everything distilled into pure sensation—both psychological and physical—momentarily observable in their entirety, as they had been in that original moment I mentioned earlier. These sensations came and went, revealing only the original, timeless whole that are regulary dismissed of and we are often advised against entering, both in others and in ourselves as something childish and regressive, and not connected to psychological maturation. This genuine root essence of beingness is a source of loss and contained a sadness and vulnerability that re-emerges in every encounter with that whole and in all the major transitions we face in life, in every change and daily shift between our various inner states. In the Indian tradition, they have metta meditation and noble speech to provides a meaningful bridge between our deeper inner selves and everyday practical life. It serves as a transitional space where both realms can coexist, preventing a sudden or abrupt break from the deeper self-awareness cultivated through meditation. I experienced this as my deepest sense of projection or transference: encountering my sensations as they where positioning the bodily sensations against its mental experience, and the mental sensations against its bodily experience. Then transfer these dynamics onto an idealized version of ourselves identifying with one or the other, and staging them in our surroundings. This is typically shaped by a perfectionist ideal drawn from the layers of our conscious mind. But speaking from this experience as a kind of introduction to a psychic dimension of life, without it we would still be childish, psychically immature, egotistical and narcissistic and unable to function in balance within ourselves or with a partner or in our society. Also, the imagery it gives us also causes us to renew our contact with the original elements of our psychic life and our earliest cultural ways of conceptualizing it. This is part of what we can go through when we seriously spend time meditating, without contact with other people and the world around us for an extended period of time, and our minds are allowed to develop an independent relationship with us. Something we share with everyone around us as a content we have in common.