It was like a descent for three days. Where I finally reached the absolute end of myself. The place at the bottom of me where I have never reached in this way before. Followed by seven days of intensive communication with the embodied psychic properties that interact with our equinimity from its various older layers of influence, where under each level that affected me with its content, I went further down with the peace of mind that was demanded of me all the time, and completely without the external influence that could disturb it. Finally, when all I could do was observe the course of events, how they formed intelligible states of themselves as an effect of its interaction with me, I experienced its wholeness. How it was provided with its time’s relationship to it, although it was not itself bound by time. I saw how the psychic order that made up my internal organization formulated it according to its predetermined internal order for me, and I realized that it was not me who controlled or decided how it should be given a meaningful context, because it was already within me. Slowly I began to realize that they had been there all along. That they have guided me, and given me what I needed to be able to move on. That the intense tension that arose within me on and off was between different parts of myself educating me in their encounter with me. It had nothing to do with others. But with my inner order, and the sources there whose condition was the psychic energies of my experiences I was in on their terms. They provided me with what I needed, so that I could create a relationship with the experiences I had that my meeting with them entailed. It became absolutely clear to me that this psychic place I was in was the human foundation where our cognitive abilities have not yet been corrupted by the layers I passed through on my way down here. No fixed attitude with its constant defenses and internal contradictions like our time-bound views that create a psychological distortion of them was there. For the second time in my life I had to give in and let go. But this time I came to observe this against the background of my consciousness, and have a closer look at what it contained. What my balance of mind and its inner sense of wholeness chose to convey in its relationship to me, and how, from that background it filled my life experiences with its content.