Through our intermediate dependence on our fathers and their inner confusion where they lack support in the person within us who mediates the connection to our inner source, we end up becoming where they are. In an inner disjointed state of opposites that we learn to identify with as if we have created this condition by ourselves, and which somehow has become our personal task to constantly subordinate ourselves to, and explain its meaning to to everyone around us. We learn to identify with some of all the opposites as they occur to us in relation to the lives of our fathers and by their conflicting explanations of them. We believe that we can have a relationship with them even though they lack support of the person within them and the psychic source he mediates a relationship with to us. Our confusion becomes even greater when we discover that we cannot use perpetual explanations as a means of relating to our surroundings. And that our ability to navigate our inner person between all opposites is dependent on his intangible counterpart. Not on us. But on the one who in itself is both an opposite and a counterpart and who has always existed within us in our inner conversation with ourselves. Who is also the one who listens to our inner person and translates the insights he receives into personal experiences. Thats how our relation to our intermediate or primordial fathers often look like before we come to understand its cultural and psychic significance to us. And to our fathers who have lost their relation to the psychic self-regulating whole that the relationship to it constitutes, the reflection for what it is in itself and its inherent counterpart which then in its natural spontaneity creates a constant fear of the disorder this creates within them. So through our fathers interior condition we then learn to relate one-sidedly to what they convey of a common approach to our surroundings in their far too inflated and impersonal explanations. Whom we make our own in order to feel involved and absorbed in our interdependence with them. If we fail to come to terms with this, we end up out in the cold. Our fathers becomes perceived as absent and distancing themselves from us. They don’t know how to relate to us. Our codependency thinks it’s because of something in us. That we are not like them. Which it is because we cannot bear their burden of not feeling close to anyone in another way than how they do it. We become forced to inflate ourselves out of our psychic boundaries and into an interdependence that blows us apart and destroy our inner sense of a wholeness. We become blown ups, and behave like sluggish giants. Stalo’s in Sami. Which is what happens to us if we end up too far from our nature and the overall sense of the relationship it conveys to us. This is what some of us have to face as we become forced to grow up outside our own being. We have to trick them by being quick-witted to survive.