I have come to distance myself from the collective consciousness so much that, based on how we ”should” look at ourselves only from the outside in, leads me to the strange experience that if I try to describe myself solely based on the generally accepted concepts and perceptions on which these are based, I will lose contact with myself. And if my underlying absolute ground of existence is based on a direct experience and on ideas founded on insights formed in my interior, then this will not be perceived as real in an external sense. My experiences will never be recognised or mirrored because they can only be validated by my personal description of them. It is as if the very source of our existence, from which everything originates, does not have any reality outside our collectively recognized notions. But regardless of this, there is a structural and personally predefined order of psychic forms that can most easily be described in the encounter we have with them as being forces that form the absolute foundation of how we experience the world. They are there, and they relate to me no matter what ”design” principle I choose to describe it with. What makes this different for me is that it was already there for me before I could describe its inner order through the influence it has on me. There was already a kind of transpersonal behavior of something that can only be described as my first and most distant ancestors, which exists in an interstice and they emerge from this unknown and purely psychological origin. Of course I understand that the neglect of these issues is partly due to the unilateral dependence of our culture, and on our external identity. But by not listening to that other center, to the other second inner voice, or to unilaterally emphasize, and constantly make us dependent on external impressions, is like living in a culture that suffers from an obsessive hyperactivity disorder without any relation to its source. There is nothing there, we become empty in between our impulses and our actions. We even make this disturbance our accepted normal. And when this constant activity coincides, most people have no access to their own voice and the experiences we make in our encounter with it in an internal conversation, but even then they seek most explanations for this voice, not in the encounter with them. With the personal experiences we do, but in external forms of collective acceptance. No matter where we come from and the real inner experiences we make individually and in isolation from the enormous press that the influence of collective consciousness has on us. There are layers of generations of original experiences and how we collide with them in personal relationships within us that will also form our absolute basis for how we view our existence with value and meaning. Of course, I do not know how others perceive this, but based on this way of thinking and when I listen to how people reason today they actually seem ”crazy”.