It is not just me, I believe all people struggle with what is our moral experience of opposites, and of good and evil. But when push comes to shove, all that matters from any human perspective is the subjective experience by the suffering person. To maintain that what we experience as evil is something in the service of some higher good, is not of much use for that person. Why would they, or any human being have to suffer from what will be perceived as evil acts in the future, when they are affected by what are considered as evil acts independently of when they are struck by them. We suffer now. Our Nature do not distinguish between what is coming from nature. When harm is done to babies, or animals, or the environment, for example, it is never about if they have committed something to deserve what is happening to them. In an external sense, if I commit a wrong against another person, animal, insect or plants ”Nature”, I will always fear what I know is an entitled repercussion because I’ve wronged its ”Nature”. And that condition then constellates my encounter with Nature’s shared source inside my Self. It will become a phenomenon of my encounter with that; It belongs to that kind of experience. Or if I violate my ”Nature” in what constitutes my totality by not paying attention, then it will affect my consciousness through its impact on me in a way that can cause me harm, or even kill me, when it affects my presence and my judgment in its attempt to draw attention to what I am missing in the relationship I have with the Nature of myself. We all experience great sufferings from this kind of meetings. But there are other intense experiences as well. Both painful and pleasant. They are part of our interior experience of life. However the affects its manifestations creates in us. It’s a manifestation of the Self; an onslaught of instincts. If one can relate to it with that understanding, then it becomes an experience with our own connector to the totality. And to life itself. Our world has all too well experienced what happens when we do not have this connection to ourselves.